sounds promising...

 A second conversation with the United Healthcare rep leads me to believe the surgery will be approved sooner or later.  She talked to the insurance handler/surgery scheduler at the Ortho office, and here's her conclusion of why my surgery might have been denied:  The surgeon read the x-rays and determined that I have bone on bone end stage osteoarthritis.  The surgeon.  Oh heavens, it has to be read by a radiologist, according to the insurance lady!  Heaven help us if an orthopedic surgeon can't decipher an x-ray, but what do I know?  

The interesting thing is they have kind of ruined my summer, although not really because I'm enjoying the heck out of it, but you know what I mean.  Plans all askew, camping reservations for three long weekend trips, thought I'd be healed enough to go...now, not sure.  So.  I may request a September surgery.  Get all my summer swimming and summer fun in...except that's when Sonja and Oscar's baby girl is due.  There will never be a good time to say, sure, give me a bionic knee.  

Happenings:  yesterday, I went out and about all by myself.  I got seltzer and iced tea and a watermelon, to combat the heatwave we're having.  This fine morning, after water aerobics, Char and Cam accompanied me to greet Elise when she got off the bus, as Anya had an appointment.  We stayed around for a while and went in their new pool, ahhh so nice!  

Then, to Target for a few snacks for next week, a package of half price steak which I cooked in the air fryer, and not too shabby!  We're working frantically on the guest room (I say as I sit here with my feet up and listen to my girls play Taylor Swift as they paint the room ha).  We're having guests this very weekend, so now we're in a hurry.  

The new window is in, the entry door needs one more coat on the back, the closet door one more coat too. The door handle was spray painted, the heat registers spray painted.  The trim won't be done, we're doing new trim around the window, and have to paint the baseboards and closet trim.  We have to assemble the bed, put up some blinds, hang some sheers.  Today at Target, we found a lovely rug for 70% off.  It's labeled as an outdoor rug, but nonsense, it's lovely.  We also found a little outdoor table for $25, which was regular $85, it will look fine in there.  And a $3 lamp, and two throw pillows.  

I have three sets of sheets in the wash, and will wash a few comforters, and hopefully it'll all come together by Friday night. 

Since I never published this yesterday, I may as well add more ramblings.  This fine morning, I put another coat of enamel trim paint on the bedroom door which is in the kitchen resting on two stools. Orange Guy was mewing to come in, so I stopped painting and let him in. I dried him with a towel, but he wanted more kitty chow, so he stood on his hind legs and put his paw up on the door I was painting, then walked away, leaving a trail of white paint paw prints, which were cute, but I had to wipe up.  I did get the message, so I fed him.  Well, he didn't eat the food, followed me back in the kitchen, then promptly barfed in Camille's Croc shoe.  I will spare you the details, but that nice orange kitty is a dangerous bunny hunter.  For goodness' sake, can't I just paint this door?  I didn't even have coffee yet. (Yes, I cleaned and washed her shoe).

 I fetched the comforter that was drying on the deck railings in the pouring rain, and put it in the dryer, oh the irony.  The sheets were dry, it was time for coffee...and here I sit.  It's dark and rainy and the aroma of the summer day wafting through the window, oh heavenly.  

The girls are on track to paint the second coat this morning, and we'll leave the trim painting for another day.  We will work on getting the bed together, and the room all nice and pretty, the fun part.  

Our church Family week starts Friday/Saturday, so we will be staying in our camper there.  I have to pack for that, too.  Then next weekend my sister's granddaughter, Grace, is getting married.  Mariel and I are making the cake and cupcakes, for 165 people.  She has started on her portion, and is freezing as she goes along, I have my plans written out.  

So I have plenty to keep me busy.  You all have a nice day.  

mosty toasty...

Lake Ontario...it was very calm, just a slight breeze.  The water was cool and refreshing though.

From the other day, I was holding Ellis and reading to Ruth and Rhys...

A bit hot when we got into the car...

This was our living room when we got home from the beach.  32.22c.  That's with the whole-house fan going, and a fan in the window.  

This fine morning, it's hot already.  Those cricket things that make the high pitched noise when it's hot out are already at it.  My deck flowers were wilting, I gave them such a drink last evening, and more this morning.  

When we got home from the beach, I got the guest room door out and put it up on two stools in the dining room area, and gave the other side of it a nice coating of primer.  Then I spray painted the two heat registers, and the door knob, outside on the deck (in a cardboard box).  Then I vacuumed up the kitchen, living room, hallway, because:  sand.  We don't even have little kids anymore, but we brought in sand.  I do not like it underfoot.  I don't even like it at the beach, ha.  Except for the pile I make to put my fee up when I'm in my comfy beach chair...

Paul made dinner for us, bacon and eggs.  I made some Ezekial toast, mmm.  After dinner, Paul was playing guitar with Camille, I was finishing an Anita Shreve book (The Stars Are Fire), and Nate and Evelyn stopped in.  She was bringing me some paint I had left there, so I can ouch up the new daybed and paint the doors.  I gave them a popsicle (I'm not getting a penny to say that the Outshine no sugar added fruit popsicles are SO good!)

The girls are at work, Paul is working from home, I am going to give the closet door and entry door for guest room a coat of paint before it gets too wicked hot in here.  Then I'm going to the small city to pick up some freshly roasted coffee.  I've been making cold brew and using it all up!  Ben and Ashley got me a little cold brew maker for Mother's Day, it's called The Dorothy.  It's basically a fancy French Press, but it makes such good coffee.  (The water spins around like a tornado, add the coffee and it tornadoes for like half hour, then you press/plunge it.)

Ah well.  It's summertime, and I love love love it.  I'll love it even more when we get our pool liner installed...wish it was simple, but we'll have to drain the pool, remove the old liner, and put the new one in.  Paul will also be reinforcing the rusty spot on the pool side.  

I always thought when the kids grew up and moved out, life would be slower and more relaxing, and it is in some ways, but oh dear we are still busy.   Anyway, you all have a very good day.  
 

the monday morning sizzle!

 Well,  97F (36.11c), sunny and very humid today...hot enough?  Hot as Hades?  We say over and over, It's not the heat, it's the humidity...It's oppressive.  I wait all year for heat and bare feet, but when it gets REALLY hot and humid, I just melt into a big sweaty puddle.  

But I cannot complain.  We put a window unit in our bedroom yesterday, we being Paul.  The rest of the house is in the high eighties right now, cool in the morning, ha.  I puttered around this morning, watering all the flowers, made a new batch of cold brew coffee, and I started to melt a little.

But, I cannot complain.  I am going to the pool in a bit for water aerobics, then:  we're going to the beach.  I am uncertain if that will be refreshing or just way too hot.  The walk from the car across the sand to the water, well, I won't think about that.  (oh, how pessimistic I can be, is it because I'm getting old?  I mean, hey, a beach day!  Why even think of the negatives?)

So we have been working on Jonny's old room, which we will call The New Guest Room.  

Camille...

Char...they sanded the walls then gave the ceiling the first coat while I painted the inside of the closet.  The window was pretty bad.  We installed wood Anderson windows when we built the house.  They were recalled years ago for rotting out, but could we find our paperwork?  ha.  So Paul replaced the window...they are so expensive, we have to do them a few at a time.

The walls aren't painted yet, and we will put up new trim.  All the wood trim in the room will be painted with white enamel, I like the wood but it's not in the best shape.  The chair you see is holding up the closet door, which got two coats of primer.  The bedroom door itself got a coat too, out in the kitchen propped on stools.  They will be white enamel too, from wood.  The walls will be a softer, warmer white, a yellowish beige-y white.  

Yesterday morning, I dragged Paul...no, he went graciously...an hour and six minutes each way to pick up a daybed from Marketplace.  A Pottery Barn daybed with a trundle, for one hundred dollars.  Of course I looked them up new, and just the trundle is $599.  The bed itself is over a thousand.  It didn't come with mattresses which is just as well, because we have a few, and yuck, right?  Anyway, it was listed with the description:  has some marks on it.    My expectations weren't too high, but I thought at least it would be nice and sturdy, versus buying a brand new cheap one for a few hundred bucks...well, the marks aren't anything!  Just a little scraping.  It looks really really nice, isn't put together yet, but I'm excited about it, it's just what I imagined for that room.

Now I'll try to find a rug, and will put some white sheers, and new mini blinds, and try to leave it relatively empty.  Maybe a side table, a dresser sometime...

Anyway.  It's always fun doing a reno project.  After giving the doors their coats of primer, I went out to swim with Kathryn and Darius.  The water is so refreshing, the air so hot, it was hard to get out.  We decided to order pizza and come here, then we went for ice cream.  

The first part of the weekend was great too, on Friday Paul and I went to our friends' place for a cookout with several couples that we've known for years and years.  It was warm and good and fun...then home, Suzanne and her Lab Winnie were spending the night!  (her husband was going on an Adirondack hike with his brothers).  Home, I made popcorn and we caught up.  

Saturday, Grace came over with her three kids, Kathryn with hers, it was warm out so we filled the little pools and hung out in the front yard. 

My feet on the cooler, I'm classy like that.  Suze in the little pool, she might kill me for posting it, but it shows what a sweet girl she is.  She's always had such a heart for the kids.  

Popsicles!  

Ah well, time to get out the door...hope you all are enjoying the warm weather...(and yes, I am purposefully avoiding mentioning world events...my head is not in the sand, but I am not going to get all worried either...things will happen whether I condone them or rebuke them, I can pray and I can be faithful in what I understand, it's written that when these things start happening to look up, so that's what I am doing...)

two posts in one day!

I cannot say that my computer had a glitch, more like I had a glitch.  In any case, today was wonderful.   In the pool, two of the ladies were talking going to a Mennonite greenhouse because all the plants and flowers are on sale.  They invited me to go along.  Why not?  

A stop after that to the Dollar General for a bag of ice, and four flower pots, they were buy one get one free.  Home:  an iced coffee, and repotting some flowers.  Paul had the day off of work, and was working hard on clearing out Jonathan's room.  Jon had installed some workout equipment right into the wall, for pull ups, ect.  Paul took it all down, disassembled his loft bunk, and got rid of the dresser.  It was old, and not the kind of old that makes you want to refinish and preserve it:).   The room is now empty, and shh, it's sad.  Jonny grew up and got married and moved out, all in the blink of an eye!   (Don't worry, we didn't get rid of his personal stuff, it's in our storage room).

We are going to spackle, sand, paint, paint the ceiling, clean the trim, paint the closet door...Paul bought a new window, he will install that.  Then I'll be looking for a daybed with a trundle to put in there, I'm thinking it will take up less room yet accommodate guests better.  My hope is to have a nice clean empty room, yet also a place for the grandkids to be able to play in bad weather.  

The projects, right?  

We have the bathroom to renovate soon.  We have the vanity and sink top, and new light fixture.  We need new faucets and flooring.  Paul thinks the tile in there is fine, I do not, so I win:). 

Another project on the back burner, simmering away in my brain, is renovating a big room downstairs.  We have three bedrooms upstairs:  our room, Paul's office, and Jon's empty room.  Downstairs Char and Cam each have their own huge room.  There is a guest room, and two bedrooms that are now used for storage (and the utility/furnace room with the hot water heater and Paul's fishing stuff). The one big storage room has potential.  I think we should just clear out all the stuff, get nice flooring, put a fireplace in at the end, and have a big gathering room.  We could have Thanksgiving here, Christmas here, the kids could play down there...it's a big project, but I would LOVE to do it.  

It was hot out today, 85 and humid, sticky.  Our pool project is on the list too, Paul is going to try to patch her up.   

I was heading out to water the garden today, but glanced at the pool, and it was raining out.  :)

Yesterday, I went to Target with Kathryn and her four small children.  I get in her car, and two year old Jamie starts saying "Grandma!  Grandma!"  It's adorable.  I didn't need much, but got a package of chicken breast that was marked down (their chicken is so well trimmed, and very reasonably priced, on par with Aldi prices).  I got a few things for Evelyn, as we are going to her new place for dinner tomorrow night.  

Home...ahh, home...but right back out the door with Miss Char and Miss Cam, to pick up their friends Amanda and Linnea, and go shopping.  Then through the Wendy's drive through, then home...ahh.  But, not for long, we had to go out to prepare for our summer conference...the girls helped put together furniture for new cabins being built, and I went to the little kids' t-shirt decorating, for the summer conference parade.  There was pizza for everyone first, so that was nice.  

Then...home.  Seriously, ahhh.  

Tomorrow I'm going with Sonja to get a really nice baby swing from Marketplace, then I'll probably work on Jon's room with Paul.  

My days are filled with fun and excitement, ha, but I do keep busy.  I have to rest frequently, put my feet up and give my poor knees a break.  If I don't listen, the consequences are worse, the longer I walk and stand, the harder and more painful to bend that right knee.  I'm learning.  

Ah well.  I hope you all are enjoying the warmer weather, wherever you are.  Have a nice night.  :)

some really good pictures!!!

 These were taken by my niece Susan of strykingphotography, she is so good.  

Twelve of the kids made it to Abigail and Derek's wedding.  Charlotte Claire, Sonja, Camille, Evelyn, Jonathan behind Ev, Paul, me, Benjamin behind Abigail-the-bride, Derek, Sam behind Emily, Margaret, Molly Rose behind Mariel.  (Joseph, Aaron, Kathryn, and Suzanne weren't there)

This is my new favorite picture:), after the wedding...

Paul is getting good at this!

Emily and Abigail, the two oldest of the family...

She is just lovely...and so happy.  

a good, kind father...

 The Father's Day post might be a day late, but oh my goodness what a good daddy Paul has been...at Sonja and Oscar's wedding...

The dance with Miss Suzanne at her wedding...

He's a pretty good grandpa, too...with Ellis

Evelyn's wedding....(I don't have the official pics from Abigail's wedding yet!)

With Sonja...

With baby Blythe

Bugs Bunny cartoons with Tennyson, Achilles, and Wulf

When we had only four kids at home and I thought that wasn't enough!  Now Sonja and Jonathan are both married....just Miss Cam and Miss Char now...

Story time with Ruth and Rhys

A hug for little Ophelia

This picture, oh dear!  Twins?  Grant in those overalls, SO cute!

Achilles...

With Cam, Abigail, Char, Sonja, Evelyn...

Paul and our oldest son, Benjamin...

An old family picture...

The day we rented a boat on Cayuga Lake, Paul with Emily

This:  one night the girls were talking about Pepperidge Farms cake, which we call Heater Cake.  I don't know why, or who started it, but it's the ultimate.  Next thing we knew, he was coming back from the store!  (This was a few summers ago...Suri was still with us.)

With Kathryn right when she moved back from Oregon, with baby Rhys

With Elise when she was small

When five kids went to Disney with us...Suzanne, Jonathan, Sonja, and the little girls.

This fine day, I called my ortho office and left a message, did not get a call back.  Paul has been in contact with the advocate for our healthcare through his work.  Other than that, no news.  I hobble around and enjoy the heck out of life.   Char and Cam didn't work today, and we were deciding what to do.  I really wanted to stay home and get things done.  When you're a little on the lazy side, when you get these urges, you need to run with them.  

The hall closets got the business today.  The first one, the linen closet....I took every single thing out of it, donated a ton of stuff, washed a two loads of things, then cleaned the inside of the closet.  The other closet has been the game closet.  I so wish I had taken before and afters!  We are donating a whole pile of games, and I threw away so much random stuff.  I took the shelves out of there, and painted the inside of the closet, after wiping it down.  Then we switched closets, won't bore you with the details, but everything is neat and tidy and organized.  

I had to tell myself:  we do not NEED all these extra sheet sets!  I have my sheets, I tend to wash them and put them right back on, but have an extra set.  The girls have their own extra sets, and that's the lot of us.  I have some for the guest room, and some random ones if anyone sleeps on the couch or anything.  I already have my favorite camping sheets in the camper.  I decided to rough it and not wash them between last camping trip and next one, just leave them in there...

So a big pile of old towels and sheets went into the utility room for painting jobs, ect.  

I need to pare down the extra blankets again, too.  We used to need so many, seriously, especially when we had a washing machine that took all the live-long day to do a load, and the kids would blow through clean bedding like mad, especially when there was a bed-wetter, or we had the throw up bug.  Oh, fun times...fun years.  Fun DECADES, ha.

I feel like I've come out on the other side, and am taking that huge breath, still.  I lived to tell about it.   I did learn a thing or two along the way, namely:  I don't know anything.  Children are very unique, and as soon as you figure one out, the next one comes along and is totally different.  There are some basic ingredients to grow good children though:

1.  Patience.

2.  Goodness.

3.  Prayer.  Pray for patience and goodness, and for mercy.  I used to hold my hands straight up towards heaven, and ask God to bless them, that I would be only good with them.  

4. Firmness, kids need boundaries, and they need to be respectful.  (respect your children, and they might possibly respect you!  Treat them well!) (never forget they came straight from heaven!)

But yeah, they do need to learn that no means no.  :)

Anyway.  Life goes by so quickly, and each day is a gift.  Enjoy your evening...:)

feels like bonus time...

 In my plans, these days were to be darkish days, recuperating days, with nothing on the schedule.  Since my plans have been usurped by the insurance company, it's like surprise!  You can do what you want!  (Imagine if I had a job and had taken the time off work!)

Anyway.  The days do get filled up, and of course I am enjoying the heck out of them.  All day long the birds singing, the fresh air coming in the windows, walking around the yard (or limping, rather) in bare feet.  

We are opening the pool.  The cover had a small tear, so some of the yucky water got in, but not much.  Paul rigged up a pump to get the water from the top of the cover, then used a big bucket to scoop the rest, from inside the pool as we were up on the deck ready to haul the cover up.  It's uncovered, the hose is in there filling it up.  I added some shock, but will wait until the water level is high enough for the filter to work to put more in.  We are also going to get new sand to put in the filter, it makes a big difference.  I'm also trying to get some steps/stairs to put in the pool, so when I'm all healed up, whenever that is, I can get in easier.  If I don't have the surgery in the near future, it sure would be easier to get in with stairs instead of a ladder anyways!  

Today I am going to go sweep off the back patio, and the pool deck, and putter around the yard.  We're having everyone over on Father's Day to celebrate Rhys' fourth birthday!  (And maybe say cheers to the dads too!). 

Yesterday, I drove down to to Target all by my lonesome.  The girls were at work, and I wanted to get out of the house.  I had a library book to drop off, and I needed a few things.  I found fresh burger patties, four packs, half price.  Sirloin steaks were half off, then buy one get one 20% off.  By the time I hobbled out of there, I dreaded the drive home because my achy knee is my driving leg, but it was not too horrible.  

There was time to put things away and get some sunshine before Margaret and Adrian brought over their kids, as they were going out to dinner.  Wulf, Tenny, and Blythe came in and the fun began.  Paul brought the boys out on the deck and lit some firecrackers from Jon's room.  Yes, Jon still has stuff in his room.   We played on the deck and blew bubbles, Char was out in the yard with the boys, when the mosquitos came out we all came in.  

Ah well.  I'm going to get moving.  I like to do as much as I can, take a break, and move again....get those steps in!  Have a really good day!

living in limbo...

 Well, since yesterday's post, I got a call from Abby at the dr.'s  office:  Did you eat or drink anything?  Me:  yes, one coffee.  Abby:  Are you okay with not eating or drinking anything else?  Dr. is trying to call insurance company and if approved will fit you in today.  Me:  I can definitely fast for a few more hours.  So.  I fasted.  I didn't drink anything.  Then, I decided two little sips of water would be okay.  A little before four, I called and asked some questions, Jolene did not even know that Abby called and told me that, she seemed a bit annoyed that I had been asked to do that.  Her update was the the dr. was not able to get in touch with any medical professional in person all day, from United Healthcare.  

So.  When and if he does, and when and if it's approved, I'll be notified.  Until then, live my life, and keep my hair clean, I guess!  He usually does surgeries on Tuesdays, so there is that.

It was a good day.  God does know the beginning and the end of everything.  And if we believe in the Bible, we know that all things work together for our good, as it says in Romans 8:28.  

One good thing:  I was able to go to the end of the year party for the activity club.  I went to Dollar General and got hot dogs and buns and marshmallows and a couple of cases of water. (Someone else was going to get it but I volunteered, easier for me as I do not have small children)  (And for me, the cutest little springtime printed plates and napkins...not even sure what I want them for, but they are so pretty!).  

So we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, I helped make the fire and get some sticks and helped kids get their hot dogs on the sticks, and generally kept an eye on them. Some of them had been playing in the little pools and with water guns while we got the fire ready, one little boy leaned over the fire with a dangly towel around his neck, nope!  They played on the playground and had ice cream and ran around and had too much fun.  I'm glad I was able to go.

This fine morning, I find myself able to go to the pool...I had mentally prepared to not be going back for a while, so it's a treat.  :)

Yesterday I vacuumed and mopped and did more laundry and sat in the sun and talked to my sister on the phone.  It was a good day.  :)

Right now I have a purring Old Kitty on the arm of my chair, totally leaned against my right arm.  She loves me.  When we went to Delaware for the weekend, we left her in here with tons of cat food and several bowls of water, so she was fine, but she was so clingy to me when I got home.  She follows me around, and no lie:  when someone pulls into the driveway, she looks out the window and growls.  She actually alerted me that someone was here the other day.  She is a very smart kitty, and I love her too.  

Now it's time to get up out of my chair and break kitty's heart, and get into my suit for the pool...you all have a good day, and thank you SO much for all the encouraging comments.  I think it's a sad state of affairs how much power these insurance companies have, raking in money hand over fist and dictating our health care.  My girls have stories about cancer patients, patients who NEED inhalers, ect., who have to deal with these things...they never tell me names or ages or details, don't worry, they are very HIPA conscious.  :). 

Okay...thank you again for kind words and words of wisdom....  

we shall see!

 As of right now, one hour before I am due at the hospital for my total knee replacement, United Healthcare has NOT approved the surgery.  The hospital and doctor's office are in contact with them, pushing and pleading and whatever else they do.  The hospital loses money if the surgery is cancelled of course, and it IS all about money.

For me, it is all about being able to walk.  Honestly, even if it goes well and heals up and gives me a brand-spankin'-new knee experience, let's not talk about the other knee, or the bursitis in my hip, because I am thinking only positive thoughts.  I know I won't magically turn Spring Chicken, but hey, it'll be a huge improvement, and for that I will be extremely thankful.  

I cannot have coffee this fine morning, nor even a sip of water.  If I were a lying person, I would take a sip anyway, but when they ask me later if I had anything to eat or drink, if I had sipped, I would fess up.  Imagine if the insurance approved, and it was cancelled because I was so thirsty.  

Yesterday I cleaned up the house and went to three stores with Sonja, Char, and Cam.  We Target-ed, where I found some half price sweatpants and a pair of big comfy shorts.  The girls wanted a drying rack, for things that can't go in the dryer, as our old one broke.  

Aldi to stock up on easy healthy food, like eggs and bacon, for afterward.  It was a quick trip, I didn't even peruse the Fun Aisles.

Costco...heavy cream, a rotisserie chicken because Sam and Grace were coming for dinner, some frozen chicken strips, healthy-ish snacks (UnReal bars, the coconut ones...very low in sugar, if you have only one or two, a very good snack).  By the time were were done in Costco, I was in a world of hurt.  We got hot dogs and Diet Pepsi (me), and the girls a slice of pizza, and enjoyed some people watching.

Home...I did some more cleaning, made my bed with clean sheets, got dinner ready, which meant opening salad kits and tossing into big bowl, and making a whole sheet of hamburger bun garlic breads.  Grace had made a wonderful lasagna, so we had a feast.  Grant was dubious about my garlic "bread", which I made last minute because we had so many leftover buns which were still in date, but I won him over, he determined they were as good as the best in the world that his mom makes.  

Ruth, Maeve, and Grant...and me underneath ha.  

As I sat here typing, all ready for the hospital, I got a phone call from Jolene at the dr office, she handles insurance and scheduling.  No surgery for me today.  The hospital has the status as "neither confirmed nor denied".  We could very well be on the hook for the bill by that terminology, so we are not going forward. The hope is to get them to confirm within the week, but who knows.  Insurance has known of this since March, and last Wednesday I got this email:

So it was DEFINITELY on their radar that I was having this done.  

Here I am, all showered and disinfected and ready for my surgery, bag packed and...not going.  

It changes things.  I had things I was hoping to be up for, like a wedding in July, and three more camping trips.   "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Prov 16:9).

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that take a city." (Prov 16:32) (start reading Proverbs, I guarantee you'll be encouraged!)

So life twists and turns, and we either kick and scream about it, or deal with it.  (I will leave the kicking an screaming to Jolene, pray for her that she is strong and prevails! and shh, if it were necessary, I would join her!)

So let's change the subject, some camping pictures: 

When you unzip the bunk and there is the lake!  It was hazy due to Canadian wildfire smoke.

The solar lanterns!  And my Aldi rocking chair, comfiest camping chair ever.

Our first night there, it was just the two of us, so steak:). It was a little overdone, but so tender and good.

She's small, but beautiful.  I do love her dearly, little miss camper.  

Nice Auntie Evelyn making s'mores...Jamie and Blythe, then Achiles, Camille, Rhys

Nate and Evelyn have a doggo, Mr. Newton.  

The beach keeps kids busy.

Sunny...so sad, the first night down to the beach with her, Paul just looked at me with tears in his eyes, Suri would be so funny the way she let Sunny swim all the way out and retrieve that stick, then she'd join in and chomp onto it and they would bark at each other, then swim back together, with the stick in their mouths.

Wulf and baby cousin Ellis

Camille and Char, with Ellis, who looks like a baby doll.  

So...I am frustrated, and honestly, a bit angry at United Healthcare.  I tossed and turned and wrestled with anxiety and prayed for peace and finally slept last night, woke up every hour or so, dreading today so much, but getting into that mental place where I was like Yes, getting this done!  I am going to feel so much better in a while...  I have plans for going to our church summer conference at the end of the month, knew I would be in semi rough shape, but now?  If I get this done next week, I won't even be able to go.  My sister's granddaughter is getting married in July...all the plans.  Camping trips.  ugh.  

But.  There is not a thing I can do, and that's part of the frustration.  Talk about  All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go, ha.  The last week or so has been like nesting, preparing for a new baby or something.  We moved our bed over so I get tons of room on my side, even moved some furniture out. I removed my nail polish and toenail polish, took off my wedding band and my mother's wedding band, didn't shave for a few days.  All the prep and preparing and fussing around...I do feel extremely let down.

I suppose that is a natural response, but now I need to make sure I don't let bitter thoughts settle in and make themselves at home in my heart.  :). You all have a really good day, I think I need to go cry a little.