middle of autumn...

...and I forgot how absolutely stunning it is to drive in the bask of the oranges and reds, and bright yellows too.  I've forgotten how the sun feels on my skin already.  Bare feet around the house, of course, but not for long...I got out the slippers and put them through the wash.  It's fifty degrees and rainy today.  I have the house all to myself, with the kitties and one bad doggie.  (I walked in the door from my dr. appointment, and oops, I had forgotten to put that garbage can in the laundry room, so SOMEONE had herself a party!)

Anyway.  I got up, showered, and went to my doc this fine morning.  Summarized:  it was a good visit, I felt heard, and respected.  My blood pressure was 122/76, which is better, and my weight was...ha, of course I'm not typing that!  I told him my issues, and why I would like to be reassured about going forward with the surgery, he was in agreement.  A second urine sample and still clear.  He did bloodwork, and requested a CT scan, but they're being booked in late December, early January.  But.  He said if my bloodwork looks good, there's no reason not to have the surgery.  He suspects diverticulitis, or something like that.  Bloodwork should at least rule out infection, or if there is one, he will prescribe an antibiotic.  I am still very tender in one spot in the lower abdomen.  

I needed to fill the car with gas, so I stopped at BJ's, and decided to go in there to look around a bit.  I found something for Jonny and Rosi's housewarming, and got some more pepperoni, cream for the coffee, and a big bag of Reese's Pumpkins, and the huge-0 bag of Lesser Evil popcorn, the name says it all.

On the way home, I stopped for a visit at Sonja's, and held baby Kaia Jean.  I should have taken a picture of her, she's especially cute this morning.  She was holding her hands together and looking at them.  She rolls over already too, at only 8 weeks old!  

Yesterday, I got up bright and early and went with Kathryn to Jamison's dr. appointment.  We stopped at Trader Joe's, and I got those dreaded dark chocolate covered peanut butter cups, and two bags of the frozen orange chicken for the girls, which they lost no time in having.  

Sonja, Char, Cam, and I then went to Target, mostly to be out of the house and walking around.  But.  I found something fun! 

I know, I need it like a hole in the head, as my mother would say.  But.  It was half off, and there was 25% off the purchase of one toy, so I paid $18.74.  With batteries, it lights up inside and out.  It came with just a bit of furniture, but I have a whole bin of Lil Woodzeez and Calico Critters things, along with the health clinic, the country store, the red truck with produce, the lemonade stand, ice cream shop...It is just the cutest thing, and I let Achilles, Rhys, and Jamie play with it when they came over, after we got home.

They wanted to read these catalogs that came in the mail, Jamie and Rhys.

I told them that if money were no object, I'd get all my clothes from Land's End.  One of the girls said that Evelyn recently said the same exact thing:). 

Ah well.  I am going to get moving here and straighten up the house.  I'm thinking a nice pot of chili for dinner.  

I'll tell you something that's been on my heart lately:  

There are unknowns in life, and when it concerns our health, it can be super scary.  We like life, we don't want to die!  (See how quickly I jumped to dying?!). The "C" word comes to mind, for me, I acknowledge that.   I obviously hope it's nothing that dire, but to think that God knows already is very comforting to me.  

One thing I mentioned to the doc today was that I already got myself mentally prepared for this knee replacement back in June, and now again...and if it's put off again, well, I'll have to wait until spring or something.  He totally agreed with that.  So.  I hope that all goes well and it proceeds as planned, and I thank you all for being so nice and for prayers.  Have a really good day!

 

does life give you lemons?

 Or does God send exactly what you need?  

Monkey wrenches, lemons...NO!  Testings of faith!

I've been having UTI symptoms again...so I decided to go to Urgent Care, so that things can be cleared up and taken care of so this surgery can go on as planned.  Well.  The urine was absolutely clear.   The dr. had me lie down, when he pressed on my lower right side, it was so tender and painful!  The left side was fine.  He was alarmed.  He said something else is going on here.  I'm sending you to the ER.  You can take your car, you don't need an ambulance, but you need to go right now, for a CT scan to find out what's happening.  This did not scare me one bit, ha.

So, I went.  After three hours of sitting there seeing sad things and watching numerous people suffer, I left.  I called my dr. office from the parking lot, and got absolutely nowhere.  I was told to call first thing this morning, so I did.  Still no help.  I have my appointment for there on Friday morning, and they can't see me sooner.  They can't even look at the report from the ER, I guess.  The receptionist acknowledged it was there in my file.  I asked her to please forward it to the dr., and call me if he scheduled a scan.  She actually said, "I probably won't be calling you, but we'll see you on Friday."

Don't get me wrong.  I don't think I'm dying or anything.  But.  I want this surgery to happen, and if there's anything wrong that can be fixed easily, well, let's get them fixed. 

I could always go back to the ER, but I'd really rather not.  

See how it is with me?  Always something.  I did go to my cardiologist appointment this fine morning.  My blood pressure was 127/83, which is a little high for me, but shh, better than yesterday at both Urgent Care and the ER.  The EKG was fine, and the electrocardiogram I had in June was fine too.  One leaky valve to keep an eye on, but all else okay.

I went to Walmart afterward, and got a few things for Jonny and Rosi, they're moving into their house and we're having a housewarming party for them.  I also went into the thrift store and found...not much!  Then home....ahhh, home.  I'm trying to move more, so I vacuumed, and that is funny even to me, to vacuum for exercise.  I also mopped a bit later, and washed some dishes.  The girls are very busy with their school work.  I did a load of laundry, and had some pepperoni and crackers.  The cats are very cozy in this rainy chilly weather, and it's pleasant in here.  I am not bored.  :)

I'm trying to make myself get moving and go to the pool.  It's open in the afternoons, but the school team has practice and there are only two lap lanes open.  I do not swim laps.  I get in the shallower water and just move and exercise.  What if there are people in those two lanes?  I do not want to share, seeing that I'll be hanging out at just one end.  

Ah well.  I don't even know what we're having for dinner.  Camille is making homemade soft pretzels...she is singing Taylor Swift and kneading the dough...I am a very lucky mama.:)

And, I wrote this last night...this fine morning, I was up at 6:19, to get ready to go to an appointment with Kathryn for Jamison.  We're going to Trader Joe's afterward, which is always nice.  :). 

You all have a really nice day!!!!

all alone...but not really!

 Well, Paul is in Norway, Miss Char and Miss Cam went to Boston for the weekend, unlike the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything...(Veggie Tales?  Anyone?  And I've never been to Boston in the fall!).  

Uh-hum.  Anyway.  I didn't want to write for the whole world to see that I was home alone for the weekend.  It was SO strange, a rarity for sure.  I didn't mind, but I find I like to head to bed to read, rather than stay out here in the living room, so many strange noises ha.  Sunny keeps watching out the window, looking for Paul.  She also jumps right up to sleep on his side of the bed.  She is not allowed in our bed, in general, especially because since Suri died, she has developed leakiness...she won't squat and pee on the floor or anything like that, she just lies there and some comes out, just a little piddle.  I won't say how many inappropriate nicknames this has earned her, (Miss Pi$$!), and she is on a daily med that keeps it much more under control..but there is still that odd time she leaves a little mark...so yeah, the blanket on top of the comforter and the comforter are now in the wash, as Paul is coming home tonight.

Anyway, I'm sure you wanted to know all of that.

Yesterday, I went to a brunch with some of my friends.  I made an apple coffee cake from Sally's Baking Addiction, I suggest you look it up and make it, three and a half sticks of butter in it.  It's so tender and yummy, I had to try it after making it.  

I had a turkey in the oven, and the turkey breast in the crockpot. Nate and Evelyn and Sonja and baby Kaia were here when I got home, Oscar came later, then Margaret came with Wulf, Tennyson and Blythe.  Kathryn came with Achilles, Rhys, Jamie, and Ellis, Darius came later.  Evelyn and I drove down the road and bought five big pumpkins, and they had a carving party at the kitchen table while I peeled six pounds of red skinned potatoes.  (Jamie helped me, he put the cut potatoes in the water.  I told Mariel that if the mashed potatoes were extra good, it was because he put them in and gave them a big stir with his hands each time...). 

Uncle Nate read so many stories to Blythe

Jamie, Blythe, Tennyson, Achilles, Wulf, Rhys

Kathryn with Kaia and her Ellis

Jamie helping me with the potatoes, photo courtesy of Tennyson.  

Tennyson, Wulf, Rhys, Aunt Evelyn, Achilles

(Yes, they made a huge mess.  But their mamas and Evelyn cleaned it all up.)

Jamie and Rhys

Ben and Paul in Norway, church conference.

This fine morning, I put the bedding in the wash, then went into the bathroom to get washed up and dressed, closed the bedroom door so Sunny wouldn't get up on the bed...then had a sneaking suspicion...and yup, Sunny was getting into the garbage, turkey scraps.  ugh.  She had her medicine, her doggy food, went out, back in, and out again....kitties let in and out and fed, dishes washed, lots of dishes and pans put away from yesterday, and here I sit.  I'm going out the door in a few minutes for church, then going to visit Anya and Elise and Declan for dinner.  

So.  Home alone, but not really alone.  Certainly not bored.  I bought a little peddler to use primarily after surgery, but I think it'll be helpful before too.  Oscar assembled it, and the grandkids thought it was a great new toy.  I am preparing, mentally too. 

It's a gorgeous fall day, warm and windy and sunny, the trees so vibrant.  I went barefoot out to the garden yesterday and picked some mostly green tomatoes, I'll ripen them on the window sill.  My feet were cold, but I am going to miss the bare foot thing.  

And...I've used up every single spare minute, and off I go, to get dressed and out the door...have a really good day!!!

it started with a drawer....

...then, cupboards, closets, the laundry room, my dresser, our bathroom, our bedroom closet...   

This fine morning, I went to the pool, then to brekky with the swim class.  I had scrambled eggs, hash browns, and cinnamon raisin toast that tasted like it was from homemade bread, which I shouldn't eat, but oh it was good, with that endless diner coffee.  I did drink the coffee black because all the little creamers were flavored/sweetened.  You pick your battles, ha. 

Home....ahh, home.  I wanted to sit in my comfy chair, but I am determined, am on a mission:  I cleaned out our bedroom closet.  I already went through the clothes hanging on my side of the closet, this time I tackled the stuff at the bottom.  I pulled it all out, organized, donated, threw away, then vacuumed, and put things back in more orderly.  I have a slew of bags to bring to the thrift store again, we just took a load the other day.  

I'm going to an appointment with Sonja in a little while, to hold Kaia for her.  :)

Tomorrow, I'm going to a brunch with my friends, then having Evelyn and Nate over...Nate is going to finish up the bathroom trim!  Kathryn and kids will come over, and Margaret and kids will be coming to spend the night.  I'm putting a turkey breast in the crockpot, and a whole small turkey in the oven.  (77 cents a pound!  $11-something for a 15 pound turkey!)(I have red skinned potatoes, stuffing, green beans, cranberry sauce...mmmm!)

Sunday, I'm going to Ben's house for dinner, and bringing  birthday gifts for Anya and Elise.  Paul is in Norway for a conference...so yeah, I've been staying up way too late reading.  Anna Quindlen's Miller's Valley...started it last night, and almost finished it, made myself turn out the light at midnight.  6 a.m., and I have to get up for the bathroom, and yay, I''m wide awake!  I had to get up to go to the pool, but not THAT early.  :). It's okay, I had a huge load of clothes to take care of.  I washed all the shirts from my closet, the winter ones.  I figure they haven't been worn since last year and they're dusty, so now they're all clean and hung back up.

It was kind of sad to ditch some of the dresses I got rid of, but when a year goes by, then two, three...goodbye.   Marie Kondo says if it doesn't bring you joy, don't keep it.  So I kept my old Kate Spade purse. :)  I ditched shoes that I never wore, slippers that are old and dusty, and a few stretched out sweaters.  

So as I told Marilyn, I don't know quite what's gotten into me, it's almost like I'm nesting.  You know, before a baby is born, how you clean and straighten and make everything ready?  I always welcomed that drive to get things done!  I am welcoming this too, this kick in the pants to organize.  Char and Cam said I was dealing with my sister's illness, and I don't disagree.  It's basic psychology, to control things when we can't control other things, but I think it's more than that.  It's knowing I'll be laid up for a bit, and not able to do things, and the desire for things to run as smoothly as possible.  

One of the guys who goes to swim class seems to have acquired a pregnant cat.  He brought it back to the farm/owner several times, and it comes right back to his house.  So, he is keeping it (the previous owner is fine with that).  He asked if I wanted a kitten.  Yes? I mean no.  NO.  that is the proper response.  I told him to let me know when they're born...  If I take a look at them, I'll be a goner.  

He had his knee replaced not too long ago, said he only took two pain pills afterward.  One of the older ladies in the class said after her left knee replacement, she was driving after one week.  ONE WEEK?  Yes, she said, I needed to go to Dollar General.    

Ah well.  The insurance company lady is calling...bye for now, have a good day!

here we go again!!!

 So lucky me, I get to do all of those pre-op appointments again!  They expired, I guess.  The heart doctor, my regular doctor, the ortho doctor, the hospital work-up with blood work and a physical therapy run-down....not free of course, so we get to pay for them all again.  But.  I am not complaining.  I have nothing better to do, nothing better to spend money on, ha.  :)

The next few weeks will be busy as I try to cram in everything, and get ready, again.  My June 10 surgery date, which I was all prepared for, involved having lots of easy summer dresses to put on, now I'm going for loose fitting sweatpants.  I ordered a raised toilet seat, which is...well, partly hilarious and partly...embarrassing?  I don't know, can't describe my feelings about it.  If I put it in the main bath, which is closer to the living room and my comfy chair, will other people have to move it every time they use the bathroom?  Will I actually be trying to sleep in my bed in the bedroom down the hall, and would it make more sense to put it in there for those middle-of-the-nighters?  Oh, the things to stress about are endless!  

I also ordered a $16 under-desk type mini peddler thing.  I figure anything that can prepare for surgery, and help with range of motion afterward is a win.  

Not sure why, but I'm thinking of sudoku books for afterward.  I bought some Built protein bars, which are super yummy, and was thinking to get some protein shakes.  Ha, I can just put the jar of peanut butter and a spoon next to my chair.  

Can we talk for just a minute about my laundry room?  It's been both the bane of my existence and the thing I've been most thankful for, as it's right off the kitchen and so convenient.  Back in the day, it was truly a nightmare, as it functioned as a family closet for the kids until they started doing their own laundry and wanting their clothes in their own rooms.  You've heard before about the Laundry Mountain in the doorway, back then, when I had children who didn't keep dry at night yet, and the washer wasn't good at completing a cycle without being given a good spin by hand, sometimes taking all day to do a load, but anyway.  It was a nightmare of a room.  It was an overflow room, with this and that and the other thing shoved in there.  

We renovated it after the Great Laundry Room Fire, when we got a brand new stackable washer and dryer, but the washer has since been replaced, it's a really nice top loader with an agitator.  The dryer is the old one, Paul has saved it's life with you-tube surgery many times, bought so many new belts.  Anyway.  

It's taken years to come around from the large family mindset, namely:  We need tons of everything.  Blankets, for example.  Our old couch, we kept covered all the time, and I had so many sets of two matching blankets used for covering it.  Comforters and blankets, two huge-0 shelves full of them.  We do NOT need them anymore.  We have several throws in the living room right now, plus a lovely basket with more throws in it.  So I got rid of at least a trash bag full, donated them.  (shh, then I bought an adorable Christmas one from Aldi yesterday...white, with pine trees on it...)

I got rid of clothes and towels and unmatched socks.  I donated the panini maker and a shelf we never put up and and and.

The laundry room is not my dream laundry room, but I do have plans to make it nicer.  Paul was thrilled to hear about them, ha.  He didn't say no, but I'm not sure how far up the list it is.  I want kitchen type cabinets along the wall instead of the big black shelves, then a wood counter and wood shelves.  We also need new flooring, it's the original linoleum in there.  

So I've been keeping super busy.  

Visiting my sister has also been a priority, and guess what???!!!  She is going home today!  She has been able to go on walks, with her walker, and is deemed able to go home!  

Our sweet little Kaia Jean...so sweet!

Camille...with Kaia, and Orange Guy.  :)

Ah well, going out and about with Kathryn today...have a good one!

FINALLLLLLLLY!!!!

 I say that as if I have been looking forward to it instead of dreading it with all terror, the knee replacement has been approved and will happen, Lord willing, on November 4th.  I saw the number come up on my phone, and I'm the need a pen and paper when I take/make a phone call type, so I scrambled through my messy purse, in the car after my swim class, for a pen and a receipt to write on.  Jolene from the surgeon's office, it's happening!  Shall we set a date, she asked?  Everything in me was screaming NO, LET'S NOT.  

But I did, because it needs to happen, and I do not like it but am working on my attitude, all over again.  I had myself all psyched out in June, ready to go, now I have to battle the demons again, the anxieties and the doubts.  

The stinky rotten thing is:  I have to do all those pre-op appointments again.  I like dr. visits about as much as I like sticking my head in the toilet, although I've never actually done that, unless you count the countless times I threw up during pregnancies.  

I told myself this fine morning:  I am a lucky, blessed girl to be able to get this done.  It will improve life in the long run (if it doesn't kill me).  So one step forward, two steps back, in the thought process to get myself mentally ready again, ha.  

It's not dying I'm afraid of.  It's hobbling to the bathroom, because my "good" knee is not much better than the bad one, in fact if the surgeon did the wrong one accidentally, it would be a-okay.  

It's the getting into the house, up the steps, going to physical therapy and heaving my arse up onto that table, while retaining a shred of modesty.  I do have a big tummy, and don't know what I'll possibly wear to PT.  

It's the thought of the stretching and pushing and sweating and moving that knee, afterward.

It's the missing out on all the things everyone else will still be doing, while I hobble around.

But, I am going to change my attitude, thought by thought.  I plan to go to Costco and get some good healthy snacks, have you tried a Built bar?  They are so good.  I have been chipping away at things around here getting more organized, yesterday it was the laundry room.  I put away all of my tank tops and sundresses, and washed and hung up long sleeved shirts.  I found a pair of jeans with the tags still on that I got from Old Navy last year, they fit very well.  I cleaned out my dresser and threw away/donated so many things I have held onto but seldom or never wear.  I cleaned off the top of my dresser, so it looks pretty and fancy again.  There is more to do, and I'm enjoying it, I do think it's therapeutic.

The more often you go through your things, the more you realize you need less, and the more radical you get about ditching things.  I saved this last time, and haven't worn it, so goodbye!   The smaller sized jeans that I fit into for a short period of time, yes I love them, but goodbye.  I will buy more if I get that small again.  

Yesterday I went to see Cheryl after my swim class.  I stopped and got us iced Americanos, then went to Dunkin and redeemed 1600 points for four 10 packs of donut holes for the nurses there, where Cheryl is.  Her roommate is having a rough time, and was going to try to nap, so we went upstairs to a nice room with a big skylight, and were able to talk and catch up.  She got tired, so we went back to her room so she could get a nap, which I hope happened. 

I stopped at BJ's on the way home for DampRid for the camper, and some fabric softener sheets, hopefully deter the mice and keep it dry in there for the winter.  I also got another big bag of chocolate chips because they were two dollars off, and a package of pepperoni, also $2 off.  I bought myself a nice blue shirt, which I need like a hole in the head, but I liked it and it was $8.  (When I went through my clothes later, I saw that I REALLY didn't need it, but...I like it.)

When I got home, I jumped right into doing things.  I didn't eat dinner until 7:30, which was two eggs and a cinnamon raisin Ezekial English muffin, then some Thanksgiving stuffing flavored popcorn, which I got from Target, and which is very good. That's all I ate yesterday, oops.  

This fine morning, I have washed some dishes, did a load of laundry, let one kitty in and the other one out, fed them, and not much else.  

It's a super cloudy morning, so absolutely cozy and comfortable.   It's dark in here, and I like it:). You all have a good day, and thank you for kind words and prayers for Cheryl, it's good to see her doing better.  She will never run a marathon, but she's getting stronger, and going home is such a good option.  She has a good attitude and is still so pleasant and funny, but she's tired, and not getting much sleep there, with a room mate who keeps the tv on all day, ect.  

So thank you, and have a really good day!

another one gone...and, surprise!!!

...weekends go by faster than week days, it's a fact.  

Jonny and Rosi came for a visit the other night...they had cupcakes...with a certain color frosting in them!

It was...pink!!!  A new grandbaby in April!

This will be number 19!  Sam and Grace are having grand baby number 18 in December.  Remember, it was 8 boys, 8 girls, all tied, just like with my own children, except mine were four boys, four girls (then five girls, two boys and two more girls.)...then Kaia #17, next Sam and Grace's baby girl, then Jon and Rosi's baby girl...so girls will be winning, 11 to 8!  It really is so much fun.  

Friday night, the girls had friends over.  Here is Anya holding her baby cousin Kaia.  (My oldest and youngest grandchildren!  Anya is almost 12...so 17 grandchildren 12 and under...actually, 15 of them are SEVEN and under!)

Miss Charlotte Claire...:)

  Saturday was wonderful.  We spent the whole day out and about, on Keuka Lake.  We went to a few wineries on the east side, then drove around to the west side. 

This is from the west, looking east.  The pictures do not do it justice, the panoramic view is just breathtaking.  

The sun peeked through a few times, and the weather was just a bit chilly, but wonderful for a fall day.  This is the east side of the lake looking west.

 I took a few tiny sips, I do like wine, but it does not like me.  We had good snacks and good talks and lots of laughs.  I didn't even get a picture of Newton the French bulldog, he was very popular.  He likes everyone.  We dilly-ed and we dallied, and got home past eight.  

This fine day, Margaret and I went on an adventure.  Adrian had to work, and the boys were going to a birthday party.  So we took Blythe, and headed to Seneca Falls/Waterloo to pick up a camper cover from Marketplace.  I could write a BOOK about Marketplace buys.  The sellers live in a really nice trailer park, set away from the main roads, with big yards and big nice trees, very cozy and clean.  The guy was sitting in a lawn chair in the yard waiting for us, with his dog, Jack, who loves people.  His wife, he explained, was babysitting for their grandchild, who was born on Father's Day, which he said, she counted as a blessing.  (the babysitting or the day of birth, I wasn't clear.  ).  He told me he has a bad back, but he could lift the box for me, but not anything heavier, and that he was retiring next year at age 67.  He told me all about their huge-0 camper (almost the same size as the mobile home), and how heavy it is but his truck is powerful, so he could tow it, no problem.  He shook my hand, and Margaret's hand, and I paid him, and he wished us well, and we said goodbye, and we have a new friend.

We then went to Aldi, as Margaret said, "It'll be fun to go to a different Aldi".  It was not different, it was exactly the same.  Blythe was a good helper though, she threw things into the cart for us.  She got to walk for a bit, and she lost her bottle, but I found it on a shelf on top of a nice purse, not that someone left, but one for sale.  

We stopped at Dunkin for an iced coffee, then drove the long ride home, through the sunshine and beautiful leaves.  We didn't run out of things to talk about, and it was really nice.

Sonja and Oscar were here with baby Kaia when we got home.  I put a pizza and a cauliflower crust pizza in the oven, then the girls made a pan of chicken gnocchi soup.  

Wulf and his baby cousin Kaia

Blythe

Wulf

Tennyson

Margaret holding Kaia, with Tennyson, and Blythe

Wulf and the hoverboard...Oscar in the background

Tennyson holding baby Kaia...

It's been a nice weekend, the days fly by too quickly.  Tomorrow I'm going to the pool, then to see Cheryl again.  She's doing better, and it's nice to see her back to her old self.  Physically she has a ways to go, to get her strength back, but she's in good spirits and ready to go home!  

Ah well, you guys have a nice night!