lazy afternoon....

I should take more pictures. I should do alot of things. But today, I just took a nap. It wasn't really a nap, I just rested with Camille. I fell asleep a million times while she sang and put her fingers up my nose. She had slept in this morning 'til eleven, so I didn't want to put her in for a real nap. Charlotte Claire was tired, so she had gone willingly in for an afternoon crib visit. The kids were playing nicely, so I thought I would take a break....and it was pleasant. Camille is such a sweetie, even if she didn't go to sleep.

I got up and made a quick meatloaf, then cut up a five pound bag of potatoes, added mini carrots (cheat-y carrots), covered it with olive oil and salt and pepper in a glass dish, and put that in. When I make my meatloaf, especially when it goes in after 4pm, I section it off in the pan as if it is 6 or 8 smaller pieces. It cooks through lots quicker.

The kids have gotten along quite well today for having a day off. When I got home from parent conferences, Kathryn, Evelyn, and Suzanne were having lunch in the woods, where they were building a fort. Samuel was so nicely playing army men with Jon, and the little girls were just playing dollies and princesses. The kids have built a fort on the top bunk. It is a sheet that is tacked into the ceiling with like 100 tacks. They have played in there for most of the day.

I am struggling with something....all day, I wondered if I shared too much about that red car. I am not going to delete the post or anything, but.....I am wondering.

Well, Rosie the stinkbomb had a nice bath today and I haven't brushed her yet.......

coupons and crying.....

Okay, the coupons we cut were worth it! Mirielle and I shopped with Kathryn and Sonja, and we redeemed $62.70 in coupons! The store had two triple coupons up to a dollar, and all coupons under a buck are doubled. So anyway you look at it, that is alot of coupons. The items still have to be a good deal, on sale, or totally necessary to get into the cart. I spent about $250 for two overflowing carts full of stuff, including another turkey for 39cents a pound.

And onto the crying......for all I preach about taking things right and not blaming the other one, I still find myself going down the wrong road sometimes. Last night was one of them. I am a little frustrated about Christmas, because it is just around the corner, and I am so unprepared. We are having a bazaar at the school, and our church has a table, and I am trying to get things in line for that. And Paul wants me to talk to him before doing any major Christmas shopping. But I can't seem to get a chance to do that! Then, yesterday I looked on craigslist and found the perfect thing for Jonathan. He is obsessed with cars, and especially with Mustangs. Well, a guy was selling his red Powerwheels mustang, a two seater, two years old, well taken care of, with a brand new $50 battery and a charger, all for $75. I emailed him, and he said I could have it. Yay! Then I told Paul about it....and he thought it was way too big of a gift. I asked him if he had any other ideas, but he was busy doing things, and just said no, quite distractedly. I seriously did not want to contact this guy and tell him "no" on this car, but Paul didn't think Jon needed it. I, on the other hand, had already revelled in the thought of Jon's happy face on Christmas morning, and how much fun they would have with it. I was thoroughly excited about it, couldn't believe it wasn't already sold. And it wasn't just the car, it was that I started feeling sick and tired of trying to figure everything out.....so I went to bed. Without saying goodnight. By the time I was all snuggled in, I felt terrible. Not terrible enough to get out of the comfy bed after a long day, I must admit. Anyway, I called Paul already this morning and told him I love him and I am sorry. I mean, I still am a bit sore about the car. I think I am right. But I am going to let it go because it just isn't worth it. We do see things differently sometimes.

Of course I stayed awake for long after Paul came in and went to sleep. I cannot sleep when things are not right inside. I knew I was being a jerk. I had to just get a vision again for the big picture. What are we here for? To get lots of stuff? It is very serious to redeem our time wisely. I had a nice talk with God, and my attitude is much better today. Oh, but Jon would have loved that car.....rrrr.

But the good news is: Paul got his passport! (and please don't think HE is a jerk, he is a very kind, responsible, practical (too practical, but then maybe I am just too UN-practical(and I also love love love toys, which he thinks is insanity)). And, I got my new Birkenstocks. And they are pretty! But then most any shoe would be pretty next to my old ones....they are SO comfy but so shabby.

I have to go to parent-teacher conferences by myself today. It is a little feel-sorry-for-myself. I hate those conferences anyway, the teachers offer these tiny little chairs. And for the life of me I don't know what they are talking about sometimes. "As you know, little Suzy is working on the new way to do math, we have done away with touchpoints and now blah-blah-blah...."I am partly kidding. And I don't really mind going. I just don't exactly keep track of what each child is working on all the time. I mean, Evelyn is in fourth grade. In fourth grade, they have a Native American project, which I call the Indian project. So she is the eleventh child to come home and announce she needs to build a longhouse. I have help build so many longhouses. (there is one excellent teacher, however, who still had Mali's longhouse since it was so detailed and realistic, and let Kathryn take it home and add some more...she understood.) Anyway, Evelyn is doing corn muffins instead. A few of the teachers I am meeting with today are very young, almost young enough to be my daughters. I know they won't understand my letting-the-kids-stay-home-once-in-a-while philosophy. They don't see the big picture, they don't realize that my children are growing up faster and faster and that now I have more kids over twelve than under. They don't see that having a child miss a day and get more of my one-on-one attention is worth getting behind on a few worksheets. That when I go shopping with a child who is supposed to be in school, that child maybe gets something at McDonalds, and a chance at some new sneakers or something from the clearance rack. It is exciting for that child to be more focused on. It sounds terrible, but that is the way it is.

Lots of other stuff is going on today, Joseph is with one of the guys from church, and Mirielle has to go shopping for dessert stuff for Sunday, we are having a nice Thanksgiving dinner at church. Abigail and Benjamin have places to go and things to do, and then tonight is activity club. Thankfully everyone seems well and healthy right now. It seemed like there was someone with something for weeks and weeks.

Oh well, off to school I go.....

day off for my kids....

And I decided to try to sleep in a little. I did stay up until 1am. But if it isn't one thing, it's another, and Miss Rosie barked at the garbage guys like they were stealing her garbage or something. Am I the only one who heard her in this whole house? Could one of the older kids have woken and called her in?

So that is how my day started....then I remembered who made this day, and my attitude changed. Then, I entered the kitchen. What the...???? Those pans were supposed to be washed last night!!! Okay, okay....and I made some coffee and got a bowl of PeanutButterCrunch, and here I am. Well, I did bring Rosie in and feed and water and pet her, and I did get Jonathan out some clothes....and I did see the wet clothes on the laundry room floor....seems the hose from the back of the washer likes to secretly disconnect itself, and let water rain down to the bathroom and utility room downstairs every once in a while, just for fun. I picked up a few items that I knew I washed yesterday, lying on the floor wet. hmm. And I decided I would deal with it later.

I do not have much luck with footwear. I am a barefoot girl, wearing slippers only when my feet get really cold. I have my comfy Birkenstock slip ons, and I wear them from April to October, and an occasional warm day in November. Then I have to wear awful shoes. I have a pair I have been wearing a few years, and they look horrible. So I found the same exact pair, $30 at Walmart. Same size, same shoe, just new and neat. I wore them the other day, and they hurt so badly I finally took the worst one off and walked through Aldi parking lot with one shoe on. I still have the receipt, the tags, and the box, I am going to bring them back. And what do I do now? I also bought some beach sandals on clearance at Sears the other day. I tried them on when I got home and OUCH, they hurt between my toes. I gave them to Margaret, and she gave me some she had that only hurt a little. But the good thing is, I found some Birkenstocks online the other day for half price, in my size! I am expecting them in the mail any day now. They are slides too, but they are prettier than the ones I have, and new and neat, of course. I cannot wear them in the snow of course, but I can wear them on our vacation if Paul gets his passport.

Last night I had one of the worst dreams.....I dreamed we got to our hotel and the only way to get into our room was to climb up a dresser and go through a really small door.....hmm. Anxiety anyone?

I cut coupons for literally two hours yesterday. Well, I didn't exactly cut only coupons. No, I cut other things too. Every picture of a doggy or a kitty, and cakes and pies and Christmas stuff. The kids got out the glue and made collages. Even Charlotte Claire likes to do that. Mirielle filed all the coupons last night, so we are good to go to the store. Which is what we might do. BJ's has a coupon book, and we have lots of coupons for the things they have in it, so there will be big savings there.

I do not know how many kids we will end up bringing with us. Sweet little Charlotte Claire has developed some new little tantrum techniques that make outings interesting. Camille and her had a huge fight over who got to hold the bag of gummy bears at Aldi the other day, and Charlotte Claire wanted me to buy a second bag so she could hold it. 89cents, I should have. But she just seemed to demanding about it, and I said that one was enough, they could take turns. Now, teaching kids to take turns should take place primarily at home, unless you really didn't want to buy anything in the store anyway. Good thing Abigail was with me to take her out to the van and buckle her into the car seat. Or I would have had to pick her up and carry a screaming limp child, devastated that she couldn't carry the gummy bears. By the time I got back out to the van, she was fine, and said she wouldn't be bad in a store again. Well, last night she had a fit because Camille hit her and she was going to hit her back, and I stopped them...and she hit me! No way, Miss. Jonathan and her have picked this up, and no way. Jon has only done it once, and I stopped him and had him sit in a chair for a while. He has said he won't do it again, he knows it is bad. My older kids did not fight as much as the younger ones do. They are best friends, but they swing at each other pretty quickly about stupid things. Especially those little girls who share a room......


Well, I need to do some things around here, especially if we are going shopping....

thank you Anne, I forgot charlotte claire!

When I listed the kids' names, I forgot Charlotte Claire. Oops.

I went for my walk today, yay!!! I dragged Abigail along with me, which was a good idea because she talked to me while I was suffering up the hill, and distracted me.

Our turkey dinner was good, except for the fact that Paul had to leave and go to a meeting, BEFORE dinner. We had turkey, gravy, Mirielle's sweet potato fries (which were just sweetpotatoes sliced, baked, salted...very yummy) corn,green beans, and rolls. No one else had to leave after dinner, so we had a nice time sitting at the table, and sharing some cookies I had bought the other day at Aldi (the assortment box for $3.49), they didn't fight over the good ones too badly.

The kids have a half-day of school tomorrow. So, being the nice mommy that I am, I am letting them stay home. We live out a ways from the school, so their bus ride is long...and on a half day, it just isn't worth all that time on the bus. They are all good students, so I am not worried about them getting behind. The only hard part about it is answering all the teacher's queries on Friday. Because Friday is Parent-Teacher Conference day for us. Or I should say for me, because Paul just informed me that he can't make it. He has been crazy behind at work. So I get to face the teachers. I don't know if I can get them to understand my philosophy, which is -well, I just like them around alot. They get so much out of a day at home. Hopefully they sleep in a bit.

Well, time for bed.

22 years ago today....

Was a very sad day. It was the day I had my first miscarriage. I had two sweet little girls then, Emily Anne was almost three, and Abigail was eleven months. I was twelve weeks along with my third pregnancy. I had the usual morning sickness. I can still remember making Abigail bottles of formula, and the smell of it just turning my stomach. Anyway, one usual morning, I started to bleed. It got worse and I started cramping. My mom came over to help with the girls. By evening, it had gotten so the cramps had turned into contractions, and then I actually "had" the baby in the bathroom....just a tiny almost transparent little baby...I remember I reacted with a shriek, it was rather overwhelming....and I still can picture my mother out in the livingroom of our mobile home with Emily and Abigail, their eyes huge, and her comforting them and telling them that mommy was fine. Anyway, I had to go into the hospital for a D&C, and spend the night there. It was no fun being on the maternity floor after having two babies there. I was only 22 years old then. So I lost that baby, and one year later I was due to have Benjamin on the same exact day, but he was born a week early. I don't understand why these things happen, losing babies is so painful. Life just goes on, and there you are, just empty. I then went on to have Mirielle Joy, Joseph, Aaron, Mali Rose, Samuel, Margaret, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja...and then I had Robert stillborn....then Jonathan, and two miscarriages, the Camille, then I lost one last spring.

Abigail is getting ready to go to a job interview, she is all dressed up and I hope Rosie doesn't jump on her on her way to her car. Rosie...she was barking and chasing the geese as they headed south this morning. I called her in, and she hesitated...just looked at me. I asked her if she wanted a drink, and she came bounding up the steps. I moved over for her, and she shoved by me on the other side, almost knocking me over. rr.

Anyway, one thing I have learned, I hope, through the things I have experienced, is to have mercy on others. Especially losing my mother and father and then my brother. The people you meet along the way are not just gas pumpers and cashiers and nurses and teachers. They are people with their own struggles and losses, and if they are having a miserable day, how am I to know what they are going through? I don't have to be miserable back to them.

Today we are going to roast a turkey. It isn't the huge one for Thanksgiving, it is only 15 pounds. And we decided not to have a "turkey dinner", but to have fresh sweet potato fries, green beans, and rolls with it. There is nothing like sitting down to the feast on Thanksgiving and having the kids say, "Turkey again??" because they have been so cheap.

Margaret is home again. Her throat hurts. She has no fever, but now says her head hurts. Kathryn is home. She has a headache. She said it hurt all day in school yesterday. Do I take them to the doctor? (co-pays for visits, co-pays for cultures).....I am not sure if they just have colds...but if Marg has strep....hm. I think I should probably call. I hope Emily goes back to school to be a physicians assistant or a nurse practicioner......then I could just call her all the time.

My sewing machine foot pedal should be coming today. I am so excited!!! It has been like a bad dream, these last few years trying to get sewing. First, I lost the bobbin case. Then after finally going to place to get a replacement, I found out this machine does NOT have a bobbin case. After months of not sewing...so, I got all set to sew...and ....when I had gotten rid of an old machine that wasn't worth saving, I had accidentally thrown away the foot pedal to my new machine with it, and saved the pedal from the old one....so for months now I have been procrastinating the ordering a new pedal. I thought I would have to call lots of places, and run all around town, when it was done and paid for with the magic card, in just one call. And it is being shipped here. And why didn't I do this months ago?

No passport yet for Paul....oh, it is so exciting. Will we go to Jamaica? Will we cancel at the last minute? Will I take Mirielle instead? No, I couldn't do that to Paul. So we will wait in suspense. He called the passport place again last night and talked to the same guy, and the guy absolutely would give no comment or speculation as to whether Paul would receive it in time.

Well, not to get to mushy-gushy or anything, but it has occured to me lately that I do really love my kids. They do some pretty bothersome things, and I get after them for stuff regularly. And what actually occured to me was that they see how I am towards them, hear how I am towards them, but they probably have no idea how thrilled I am with them! I am bound and determined to hug them more (which some of them will hate), and just let them know I really like them.

Well, all sorts of things are going on here. Mirielle has been taking and making phone calls regarding her accident. Rosie has been back outside barking at the neighbors, Charlotte Claire has been busy, and is now having some cereal. I am too distracted to think straight....

pictures....

This is Rosie, being forced to lie down in the kitchen because she wouldn't leave poor Jon alone...she was chasing the remote control truck....

Suzanne likes to keep busy. She wrote all different words on these small pieces of paper, so she could arrange them and make sentances.

Jon was thrilled with his new truck....
Wow...Kathryn took these pictures of him...

The camera disapeared soon after this....we couldn't find it anywhere. Then I found it today, sitting on the shelf where I keep it. When I looked at the pictures, mystery solved: Benjamin had it. There were some nice new profile pictures of him.

Sam is eating waffles, Joseph popcorn. These big boys are never full.

sunny tuesday morning...

First of all, the car DOES by some miracle have collision on it. That was good news. Second, since we have way too much garbage, the garbage guys are going to bring us two 96 gallon "wheelers", and see if it is enough for us. It costs double. I know, we are bad for the environment, right? But good for the economy, and that is more important! My kids are terrified we will have to get a dumpster, which according to them is "instant social suicide".





Paul doesn't have his passport yet. He called last night and had it expidited, which costs a bit....and they couldn't guarantee he would have it in time. But it just makes it more exciting....we MIGHT go to Jamaica....



I wrote this post this morning...now it is afternoon. Living out here in the country, the internet service is spotty. I lost the connection this morning, and then had to leave.



Now we are home....we went to sears and got our washer/dryer stacking kit. And: I got myself some beach sandals, and three shirts, for cheap. We walked through the rest of the mall and didn't spend a penny, except for at the fabric store. I ordered a new foot pedal for my sewing machine, so we got some pink and purple and silver shiny fabric so Mirielle can make some princess-y Christmas stockings for the annual local Christmas bazaar. Our church youth group (and Cheryl, Kim, and I) get a table every year.



Jonathan got a nifty new remote control Publix truck from his gramma in the mail yesterday. He is so absolutely thrilled with it, he decided he shouldn't keep it in his room last night because he said, "I'll be too distracted to sleep." He is too old for his kindergarten age. He also doesn't know what to ask for for Christmas now.



My camera is missing again. It is frustrating, but no one knows where it is. No one took pictures with it. No one touched it. hmm. Last night Evelyn put Camille's hair into like 6 little ponytails, no camera. Jon had a huge grin on his face because of his new truck, no camera. The two little girls had on matching shirts with their matching jeans and matching Converse sneakers, no camera.



And now the dreaded time of the day is creeping up...dinner dilemma time. As I have mentioned over and over again in past posts, if you have 5 or 6 or even 10 people to make dinner for, and you are unprepared....you can throw SOMETHING together.

The internet went down AGAIN, now it is evening....we had a nice dinner: beef Rice-A-Roni with some browned ground beef in it, and asparagus. With bread and butter. And for dessert, a pineapple sliced up by Joseph. And some tangerines. But I can't eat pineapple, I am allergic to tropical fruits...not so much fun for me to go to Jamaica, in that respect.

Now most of the kids are in bed....and the internet is working again for now. I am glad I don't write for a living....