recipes, answers, and a huge thank you!

I'll start with the thank you, to my mother-in-law Eleanor...she sent me her sewing machine! It arrived this morning, and I can't wait to set it up and finish the apron I cut out for Camille last week, and start lots more things.

Recipes: Paul grew up loving his grandmother's molasses cookies, so here it is...

1 cup brown sugar
4 cups flour
1 cup shortening
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 eggs
2 tsp. ginger
1 cup molasses
1 tsp ground cloves
1/2 cup hot water
1 tsp. salt
3 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp lemon extract
Sprinkle with sugar before baking, I added cinnamon to the sugar, that made them really yummy.

Combine ingredients in order given. Drop on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes.

The next is the white cake I made the other day, I really liked it, had to throw the last few pieces out so I wouldn't eat them while I waited for the kids to eat them.

2 1/2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 cup milk
3/4 cup shortening or butter (I used some of each)
4 eggs
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla

I mixed the dry ingredients, set aside. Mix up the shortening/butter, add the sugar, then the eggs,vanilla, then the milk, add the dry ingredients to it, then mix it up till fluffy.

It is rather dense, but flavorful, and good with fruit and whipped cream.

Now, on to some answers. I had a question about keeping the kids home from school. So here goes...

My oldest child who is still in school is fifth in her class. She does her work because she wants to do well. The next youngest from her is homeschooled this year because she decided, for personal reasons, that she would rather not be at school. I believe that decision, for her, was lifesaving. The next three girls are all on honor roll or high honor roll, report card after report card. Then there is Jonathan, who is homeschooled this year. Then the two little girls. The two little girls get excellent grades. Charlotte Claire now gets 100's on all her spelling tests, and is really advancing in reading levels. She gets math, and does well there too. Camille is very advanced, her reading level is improving by leaps and bounds. She can read just about anything, and fluently. She also "gets" math. I don't know if school is slow, or if these kids are clever, but they seem to do well in all they are given.

The older kids know they have to go to school regularly, or they will fall behind. So they do. Sonja still misses too much and has to work hard to catch up, but we are working on that. It's hard when you are 11 years old and have teenage issues, in my opinion. Anyway. The younger kids do miss a bit of school, sometimes a day a week, but then I try to get them to go the whole week the next week, and so on, so they aren't just absent all the time. They make up their work, but at their grade levels (1st and 2nd), it isn't too difficult. There are days they miss because of things like pajama parties with movies (they can do that at home!), or half days which for them would be spent mostly on the long bus ride there and back.

So here's the thing: Sometimes I do need my "kid fix". But also sometimes I sense they need a "mommy fix". Life goes by fast, they grow up, their time to be little kids and just play...it is so limited. Their school days are long, they get home after 4:00, and head to bed a bit after 8:00, with daily homework, usually. Add in dinner, maybe a shower, and they have no time for playing house or office or school or Barbies.

I do not officially homeschool them when they are home. But I talk to them. Camille asked me yesterday if there were east and west poles, or just north and south ones. Char just asked me what one quarter of ten is. When I answered, she said, "I thought so!!", very excitedly. I interact with them, and they learn from life. School has it's place, it teaches them about reality and that life isn't fair and how to get along with others. But it isn't the end all and be all of a kid's life. My kids learn how to stop and smell the roses, and how to cuddle on the couch with a book. They go out and about with me and learn about coupons and prices and checks and ATM's and tax and gas mileage and speed limits and signs and how badly mom sings in the van.

Perhaps I don't play by the rules, but so far, the school hasn't had any issues with me, or with the kids. I know they don't love when kids miss too much school, and I know they lose state aid when they are absent. But on the other hand, look at all the state aid they have gotten from all my kids going to school all these years....:)

If I wasn't allowed to keep the kids home as much as I have, I don't think I would send them to school at all.

I hope that answers the question.

And on to other things....my kids have enjoyed their vacation. It is cold out, snowy yesterday, sunny today. It should warm up a bit today though. I have to go work at the baseball stadium today for a double header. It will be very busy there, and I hate to leave the kids, but I have some babysitters here and Paul will watch them this evening. I also like going because I am working with Emily and Joseph and lots of my friends.

Tomorrow, I am taking the kids to Kids' Camp at church, for the day. They get to play together and do activities, and I get to talk to the other parents.

I am excited about Easter! I am filling baskets for 14 of my kids (Sorry Ben! Ashley can fill you one this year!), and Sam of course can't have any "contraband" while in Basic Training. Plus, three baskets for three friends from church who are staying in the area, Stevie and Adrian and Andrew. Em doesn't want any candy, well, she conceded, just a few things...so I am filling a bowl for her to share with Abigail and Mali. I LOVE filling the Easter baskets. Simply love it. We are having our Easter dinner on Saturday, our baskets on Saturday morning, because there is a baseball game on Easter Sunday. I figure one day is the same as another, basically, so why not sign up to work the baseball game, since I know lots of others won't be so thrilled to work on Easter....

We have a spiral sliced ham from Target. They had $10 off if you spent $50 on food, not too shabby. I have red potatoes, and veggies, and the makings for a chocolate pie with chocolate graham cracker crust, and a coconut cream pie. Oh, I need my jaw wired shut for the next week! I WILL behave.

And now, I have to get my daily letter to Samuel written....

ooh, another late night post....

This has been a looonnng day. It started too early, since I stayed up 'til the dogs were snoring last night. I could NOT fall back asleep, because, hey, it's vacation, why get some sleep? Why is it I can just shut my eyes again on a school morning, and be dreaming again immediately? Anyway. I woke up early, took a shower and washed my hair...and, there were no little feet stomping down the hall or doors slamming...so I got back in bed and read a book. Oh it was lovely.

Evelyn wanted to go to the dreaded Walmart this morning, to get paint for her room. Okay, okay, I'll take you to Walmart. Three little girls DID want to go, they did! I spoiled them a little, since it was just the three of them (Miss Char, Miss Camille, and their cousin Dani). We stopped at Dunkin Donuts...they got ice cream cones, except for Camille, who opted for a cookie dough flavored decaf iced coffee with whipped cream. I skipped the high calorie treats and had a coffee, but those marshmallow Peep donuts looked yum. Nope, I never did grow up.

On to Walmart we went. There was a glitch in the paint mixing machine, so I got to hear the Paint Lady's life story while we waited for the Paint Guy to fix the machine. It wasn't broken after all, the Paint Lady just didn't think enough color was squirted in.

The little girls just danced around and chose paint samples, I limited them to two each. They helped me choose some chocolate bunnies for some guests for Easter, then we looked at the toys. Oh, toys! I love them but they aren't as good as they used to be. I let the girls buy some of those little doll bottles that have liquid that disappears when the bottle is tipped, seems like the dolly is really drinking the bottle. Simple and sweet. Then I bought them a package of newborn diapers. They were simply thrilled. They skipped and danced through the store. At the register, I told them they could chose a candy bar, and oh, what joy. I didn't have one:)

A stop at the bank, and home....I had to bake the cake for the wedding shower for my niece. I found a recipe for a white cake... (oh yeah, I forgot the molasses cookie recipe. I will get that tomorrow. And I will post the recipe for the cake I made today...it was yummy) ...I made a sheet cake, a double layered round cake, and an extra round cake for the kids here. I made frosting with a half stick of butter, a scoop of shortening, vanilla, a 2 pound bag of powdered sugar, and...heavy whipping cream...I didn't frost the cakes with it until right before we served them. I bought frozen rasberries, blueberries, strawberries to serve with it, topped with whipped cream from the can. Um, I had just a tiny piece, but I kept tasting more...blah. No more. No more for me. I was otherwise well-behaved today....

Anyway, it was a lovely wedding shower. The bride-to-be is my sister's daughter, she has seven. All girls. They were all there tonight except for Claire, who is in Australia, and is also getting married, in June.

The girls have had their little cousin Danielle here for a few days, and the older girls have two of Danielle's older sisters here too, Eileen and Olivia. I love having them...on the way home from the shower, I randomly stopped at the pizza shop and let them go in and get some slices. But, their mom misses them and they have to go home tomorrow.

Our nice weather is departing. Tomorrow - cold and rainy then getting colder and possibly icy. By Thursday it should warm up a bit again, into the fifties/sixties. Not too bad. But after this summery weather, tomorrow will be no fun, especially for spring break.

Well, I am getting very tired, it's 1:11 am, and the house is quiet. I need to go to bed. Sometimes I just like to stay up late and soak in the quiet.

Blah blah, sometimes this blog seems like just word vomit. I went here, I went there blah blah blah. There are things I really want to talk about, like my dear son Aaron, who doesn't come around much anymore. He was here the other night, and it was a little awkward because he's only been here a few times since Christmas. I love him with all my heart, and respect that he is making his own decisions in life, but I miss him immensely, and feel the loss of his presence here so much, especially with Sam being in the Army. I know, right?! How many kids do I have, yet I feel acutely the loss of one or two? Remember that Benjamin is far far away too....

I read an article someone referenced on facebook recently about a mom who discussed her children not being her whole world. I got it, but I didn't. I feel like my kids ARE my world. I don't hold their hands and micromanage their homework, nor do I try to make everything fair for them. But I do everything I can to make sure they know they are loved. I make sure they have lots of healthy food to eat, and that they dress as nice as we can manage, so they can feel good about themselves. I praise them and encourage them. I try to make time to listen to them, and to be here for them if I sense they need to talk. I worry sometimes that if anything happens to me while they are still growing up, will there be someone else they can talk to, someone who cares what the science teacher told them today?

I also want to talk about my husband. He is busy. He works alot. Projects are finishing up in France, he will be going there for a few weeks next month, then a few more times in the following months. He works hard. He never gets away from work. Plus he does church work, and we do our volunteer work. He also fixes things around here, although the list is always longer than what he accomplishes. (he did get a new hose for the dryer, and it works much better, no pushing the button so the towels get a second ride because they weren't dry enough the first time.) He also installed a new kitchen sink faucet, fixed the main bathroom toilet (replaced the thingamajiggy in the back of it). He started building a wall in Kathryn and Suzanne's room. He cleaned out under the deck. And, he got the grill going for the season. He is busy. He spend lots of time this weekend watching the little ones ride their bikes...

He is a good daddy. And an excellent provider. He is responsible, and I love him. I totally lost my train of thought, as it is getting later, or should I say earlier? Almost 2 am. Good night.

late night blogging....

Sometimes I write things without actually realizing that people will READ them, and when I re-read those things later, I wonder what I was thinking...perhaps I was tired, or just not thinking...so, I will write here late at night, and try not to think too much...

Today was lovely. We skipped spring here in central New York state, and went straight to summer. I'm not sure the official high temperature for the day, but my phone said 82 degrees, Abigail's car said 86. Sunny and warm, with a slight breeze. I walked. Paul grilled chicken outside. I wore shorts and a t-shirt, and raked the old leaves from the yard 'til my hands blistered. We had a fire in our little firepit on the deck, under a full moon sky, no mosquitoes. It was so lovely it was like a scene from a movie. Unreal. Emily and Abigail and Mali joined us for dinner, and the fire afterwards.

Did I have any trials at all today? Can you say Labrador Retriever, times two? Those dogs like to do a little thing I call, "slogging", and it involves a muddy creek that runs through our back yard. Now, these dogs aren't ordinary dogs that are kept out in a dog house or on a chain in the yard. No sir, they sleep right on the comfy couches. So they have to be somewhat clean. I had to give them baths today, after a day of slogging. I had to sweep up lots of mud, too.

Let's see, hmm, yes, I did wash lots of dishes.

But mostly today was glorious. I got to sleep in, went to church, sat in the sun, had some chocolate, had a huge salad for dinner with the chicken....the princesses have their cousin over, to spend the night. Margaret helped them set up snuggly sleeping spots on her bedroom floor, so they could watch, "Frozen", again, and sleep in her room. Those girls had a glorious day too. They got to ride their bikes in the road, with Daddy out there with them watching for cars, they brought lots of dolls and their princess tent out to the deck, they spent time swinging and singing, they went way out to the very back yard with a couple of labs who always go where the kids go outside....

Paul had a busier day than I, he had lots of Real Work to do from his Real Job, so he was on the phone and computer alot this afternoon/evening. He went to bed at a smart time, but I stayed out at the fire with Evelyn and Margaret, then came in and turned on my computer. I will be tired tomorrow, but hey, the kids are on vacation, so I can perhaps get a little extra sleep in the morning.

Now, this weather is not going to last. Nope. On Wednesday, the high is in the thirties. The low: 21. dang, that's cold. It is going to seem really cold on our sunburned skin.

We have big plans for the week. Tomorrow, to Walmart we go! Paint for Evelyn's room. Berries and whipped cream for the cake I am baking for my niece Ellen's wedding shower tomorrow evening.

The children's museum is on our list, as well as a few parks, and the cemetery, as we want to visit Robert.

And, baseball games this weekend! I am working on Thursday night, and on Easter Sunday. We decided to celebrate Easter on Saturday, so we can work the Sunday game. I don't know why there is a baseball game on such a holiday, but we have it in our contract to work it, so we will. Our kids won't mind getting their baskets and bunnies a day early.

ah, friday, how I love thee.....

Yesterday I took these lovely daughters of mine to the airport, Mirielle and Kathryn...what a lucky girl Kappy is, to have such a nice big sister. They are in Washington state for a few days, then on to San Francisco, down to San Diego. I am not exactly jealous, but wouldn't they have more fun with me along?

My littlest children are getting big, Camille and Charlotte Claire....

And, the molasses cookies I made for Paul's birthday celebration. I found another bottle of molasses in the cupboard:) They are SO stinking good, it's horrible. I wrapped the last few up, I tend to behave better that way. Paul ate lots of them. He didn't exactly say they were as good as his Grandma's were, because I'm pretty sure those are built up in his memory of warm times with her. He really loved and respected his grandmother.

I will post the recipe if anyone is interested. They are really easy to make, and just too good.

So yesterday, I finally got to sit in the sun with shorts and a tank top. Sun on my skin, oh heavenly relaxation. Jonathan and Camille were out on the deck with me, Jon brought out a blanket for them to lie on, which Duke promptly plopped down on. 20 minutes I was out there, and it was time to bring the girls to the airport. I had to stop at the store quick for a few things because we were having a big dinner, and I got some donuts to supplement the cookies for dessert...Jonathan cut them up and arranged them on a pretty platter, as if donuts need to look even better. Anyway. I got home and put things away and cleaned up and set up a salad bar for dinner, put the chicken in the oven, ect...and didn't get outside again. Those 20 minutes were appreciated though. And I did go for a walk earlier, and that was lovely too.

Today it won't get so warm, yesterday it hit 70. But Saturday is supposed to be really nice...and I am working at the Dome all day, blah.

Anyway. Last night was nice, Emily and Abigail and Aaron and Mali all came over. Paul was kind of surprised, and rather pleased to see them all. Aaron brought him a nice bottle of rum. Mali got here after Aaron left, she had to go to class late to pick up some papers. I stayed up too late talking to her, then found out she had to get up at 4:30 this morning to start her day, oops! I realized as I talked with her though, just how lucky I am. Of course there are trying times, trying to raise teenagers and put up with temper tantrums and straighten out squabbles...but these grown children of mine are truly my friends. Mali has matured so much, has learned to deal with things in her life, and I am so very proud of her. She is a kind young woman, a beautiful girl. Here I am, bragging about my kids again. But hey, if you can't brag about your kids on your blog, what good is it?

I kept Camille home again today because she had a low-grade fever off and on yesterday and didn't feel so good, but she seems fine now. She just told Jonathan, "I am having a good time in my childhood, and every day off is a good day." It's kind of funny, having Char at school, and watching Jonathan interact with Camille. He is super good with her. They are writing a list of things to do over vacation...

Today is the last day of school...then vacation! We're not going anywhere, but the kids will have nine days off, ending with Easter Sunday. And we are going on little outings and adventures, of course. Camille has them all written in pink marker on her list.

here's the thing...

Camille is sick again. I should have known, I mean, she is the sixteenth child. She was extra whiny and complain-y yesterday, she didn't like her dinner, she was tired. She went to Activity Club, came home with her loot of Easter eggs from their egg hunt, and curled up on my lap. She said, "When I was looking for eggs, my heart hurt." hmm. This morning, I was thinking of keeping her home from school, but her fever of 100.2 decided it for me. So she is curled up on the couch with a purple fuzzy blanket. I read her the entire book, "Junie B. Jones And Her Big Fat Mouth".

Charlotte Claire was a big girl and went to school without her. I hope Char doesn't get this next, they are on vacation next week. February break, Char was sick for days, and Cam had her broken arm, so we didn't go to the pool or anything.

We are celebrating Paul's birthday tonight. He doesn't much like parties, but too bad. Last evening, the kids all went to Activity club at church, Paul and I ate dinner alone and watched, "Jeopardy". I made marinaded pork chops, and roasted veggies: cauliflower, green peppers and onions, yellow squash, and zucchini. I sprinkled them with olive oil and seasoning and baked them for ten or fifteen minutes.

I wanted to bake him some molasses cookies, I have his Grandma's recipe, but only have a small amount of molasses and don't feel like going out and about to the store. He doesn't really like cake, but maybe I will make cupcakes anyway, the other kids like them and it feels birthday-ish. Poor me though, I have to bake my cake and not eat it, too.

There is chicken marinating in homemade Cornell sauce in the refrigerator, and there is lots of good stuff for salad. I am hoping to go out and clean up the grill so I can cook the chicken outside, it is going to be nice today! Perhaps 70 (21c)! And, sunny!!!!

Yesterday....dentist, post office (mailed a box of things for Anya), grocery store, thrift store, bank, dollar store...home, and I went for a walk!, after putting the groceries away and starting dinner, that is. No excuses, ha. I thought of that as I huffed up the hills...how many excuses I have. Some of them are pretty darned valid, but still. Where there's a will there's a way. Honestly, for those years having babies and being so incredibly busy, I couldn't have made time for working out. Not every day anyway. Paul would go to the gym before work in the morning, and I would just marvel at what it must be like to just walk out the door IN ONE TRIP. See, I had to carry out the toddler, come back for the car seat and the diaper bag... Anyway. I did go to the pool here and there through the years. There was one time I was serious about it, and really worked at getting there. I tried to go a few nights a week, leaving the kids with Paul. Of course I had a nursing baby, and one night I came home and she was just crying and crying and the kids were running around...this particular baby, like lots of mine, would not take a bottle, and just plain wanted Mama. I quit. Took the path of least resistance.

And here I am, with much more time on my hands.

Today, I have a headache. I had it all night, a sinus-y kind of headache. I am trying to ignore it, but I know I have to take something for it pretty soon. That's the thing about FitMom and her No Excuses policy. Does SHE get headaches? When I get a bad one, I cannot work out. I have tried, and those headaches turn into immobilizing, almost throwing up headaches. So if she doesn't get headaches, that alone means she has no right to say anyone else has No Excuse. ha.

I don't know why that slogan bothers me so much.

As if the rest of us WANT to be fat and lazy.

sniff, we can't help it.

Camille is watching Bugs Bunny now. I have to get moving here. There was a bed-wetting last night, again, but at least my laundry isn't the mountain it was a few years back...we used to have an actual mountain in the laundry room doorway, of bedding. I just couldn't keep up. Okay, it was just a large hill, but we climbed up and over it to get into that room.

happy birthday Paul!

Paul with our tenth child, Miss Kathryn Grace, who is 16.

We are celebrating his birthday tomorrow, but he doesn't know it. He hates surprises, hates birthdays, but too bad. Emily and Aaron and Mali will be coming over, we will have something yummy like chicken fajitas for dinner, and he will enjoy being with the kids. Mirielle and Kathryn will be on their way out to Washington state to see Benjamin, so they will miss it, and Abigail has physical therapy for her knee on Thursday evenings. It's getting impossible to find a night where everyone can be here at the same time....

Today, I have to pick the princesses up early from school for a dentist appointment. Kathryn wants to come too and stop at the thrift shop, she is being craft-y lately and has some ideas. I don't mind, it's Wednesday, half-price day. Half-price at the thrift store, yup. She wants to start sewing, she asked me if we could get a new sewing machine, or if they don't make them anymore. ha, I laughed my head off. Sewing is not THAT old fashioned. My sewing machine is a Singer, bought it second hand when I was expecting Camille, and it has been nothing but trouble. I got it out on Saturday, and it just won't sew properly. I adjust it and adjust it, the threads just get messed up. rrr. I worked on it and tinkered with, then finally gave up. It is on my list, to get a new machine one of these days. I mean, who buys curtains when they can make them? I have had some of these in here for too long....

Anyway. I went for my walk yesterday, in the chilly windy afternoon gloom. It wasn't bad though, just strange to have to wear a scarf in April. When I am finished writing here, I am going to go exercise. No excuses. I actually like that mindset, to not think and reason things out, just do it.

One thing I have been doing at dinner is eating my food...then waiting for a while, instead of just having more because it was good. If I wait a bit, I find I really don't want more. See, I'm smart like that.:)

I was mean this morning and gave the little girls showers before school. They don't need a shower, they just had a shower! It does make the morning a bit hectic, blow-drying their hair because it is so chilly out, packing the lunches and fixing breakfast. I laugh at myself for feeling stressed at the busyness of it, because not too long ago, I was getting 9 or 10 school kids out the door, with crying babies and busy toddlers to deal with at the same time, and most likely on small amounts of fragmented sleep. How in the heck did I do it? Now I see where people are coming from who said things like, "I don't know how you do it, I am busy enough with my two (or three or four or whatever...)."

Busy or not, I am enjoying the heck out of my kids these days. The little girls are into potty humor, which I am embarrassed to say often makes me laugh my head off. This morning Camille was singing her little heart out, substituting the words, "Do You Smell It?" for whatever the real words are....Jonathan is like a little professor, he takes electronics so very seriously. He helps me figure my smart phone out, and is a valuable resource for anyone considering a tablet or laptop purchase. He LOVES riding his bike, and is looking forward to his birthday at the end of the month, he already knows he is getting a battery powered scooter. He was with me when I bought it for 70% off a few months back, he can't wait to try it out.

So today is the fun kind of day, picking kids up from school and going here and there. I am thankful I can be home, thankful I can spend time with them....

one of those bragging moms...

My oldest son Benjamin with his daughter Anya. He just loves her to pieces. I am super thankful that he does, that he is a good daddy...that he is an upright, honest, decent, hardworking Army guy. A kind husband, a thoughtful son. Enough yet? Ha, I swore I would never be my mother and brag incessantly about my kids, ha.

Miss Charlotte, painting...apparently you paint your hand, then put it on the paper...see, I was talking to my sister on the phone last evening...Paul was at a meeting, the older kids were all here, the little ones were playing cards, I took the phone to my room so I could hear more than the You Cheated and Hey It Was My Turn....I came back out to check every few minutes, but then I came out and they were painting....

Camille, hard at work. I didn't mind that they were painting, but if they had asked, I probably would have deferred it to another night when it wasn't almost bed time.

Today has been a strange day. I am tired. See, I made chili for dinner last night. It came out delicious, I ate only one bowl, ate dinner early, but for some reason, it really didn't set well with me.Plus, I got into the cookies. I had resisted for hours, then...anyway, I felt awful, and had heartburn. So I stayed up and read my book until I felt better...which was 3 a.m. oops. So when 6:30 rolled around, Zombie Mom got up and faced the day. ugh. The little girls were cheerful and woke up on their own, had plenty of time to relax and eat their breakfast, I even had time to look at clothes at Target online with Sonja, who went in on the second bus trip this morning.

They went off to school...I had some coffee...went online...looked at twitter....and Paul had retweeted an article about FitMom. You know, Maria Kang, I think is her name. She is in SUPER shape, has three small children...and has posed with them in her fabulous fitness clothes with the expression, "What's Your Excuse?" um. The picture brings out so many excuses in me, I don't know where to begin. First of all, I want to hate her. no fair. just not fair. And, she admits that fat people and obese people are that way because they did it to themselves, and if they are honest, they will not get offended, but get to work, because anyone can be fabulously fit. Not her exact words, but. And, she IS right. But, can I please just say...ouch. ouch ouch ouch. I do not really hate her, after all, she has made good choices, worked her butt off, to look like that. She works out with her kids, makes them healthy food, ect. But this fine morning, when I felt like hot wet garbage on a sunny day, and saw that Paul had retweeted the article about how fabulous this Hot Mom is, I burst into tears. I cried my poor little eyes out. Poor me. I have been trying and trying to get into shape, working my own ample butt off, but things just aren't progressing like I would like them to....my knee hurts, I get headaches, there are cookies...you get the picture. My excuses just tumble out like Niagara Falls. I knew I was being ridiculous. I was tired. So I took my sorry self into my room, and actually went back to bed.

Now, don't get too jealous. I forgot to turn down my phone, and after finally falling into a yummy sleep, Paul texted me and said, "you must be tired" Um. now that you mention it, yup. Then Emily texted about some plans, then I texted Jon about what work he should be working on, then then then...I finally just got up.

I made some coffee and toasted some Food For Life Raisin bread, and here I sit. Oh, I did some laundry and dishes and wiped down the counters and the front of the refrigerator.

And...I have not given up. I have read some articles lately that suggest that even if one is at a higher than desirable weight, in others even if one is FAT, exercising regularly makes one much healthier than even a thin person who sits around and doesn't exercise. So. I won't give up. I have my excuses, and they don't hold up in court. I gave in with the cookies, and believe me, I felt AWFUL. Horrible. I cannot tolerate sugar and white flour like that anymore. I ate pretty well all day, then ate those cookies, which tasted heavenly of course...and blah. So. I deserved to feel yuck, but I live and learn.

Today I will go out for my walk, and I will keep my paws out of the cookies, and I will persevere. I won't ever be on an inspirational poster, but I will feel better. I am not her, I am me, and I have to make the most of it.