under the knife!

i am smart now. My new reading glasses made me smart. Actually, I don't know how I lived without them. Everything is so clear now!
Miss Charlotte Claire is so pretty.

So..tomorrow morning, my gallbladder surgery. Yes, I have heard it is an easy surgery. Does that make me not have the jitters? ha. Right now I am planning what I shall eat between now and midnight, since I can't eat in the morning. I already had some Goldfish crackers, which I do not eat anymore. Salty, carb-y, blah. But they were pretty yummy. I am thinking of a piece of toast with peanutbutter. I don't eat bread these days, as a general rule, so it sounds good.

Anyway, just because I have heard this surgery is easy, doesn't mean it sounds easy to me. I hate when they put that mask over my face and tell me to relax...I hate being in the hospital, I hate wearing those gowns, I hate being poked and prodded and asked how much I weigh. I hate the knowledge that they are going to make some holes in me. And the bad thing is, I keep thinking how funny it would be if I told the dr. that I doubt he will be able to drill through my abs of steel.. ha. I hope I don't get nervous and really say it...

So, our hotel trip: fun...really fun. But...the pool was so cold and crowded! I love kids, but jeepers, most of those kids were just plain crazy! Their nice little soccer moms were sitting around the pool chatting, staying dry and looking smart in their nice little sweaters, then I come in in my lovely brown swimdress with aqua polkadots, with MY BOOTS ON, because I so smartly forgot my flip-flops. I was the absolutely ONLY adult in the pool. I got kicked and splashed, and there was no room to swim, and the hot tub was Out Of Order. My girls got in for like two minutes, decided it was too cold, and got back out.

Our breakfast this morning was interesting. The fresh fruit was yummy, the omelet was not yummy, I ordered it with no cheese, I just don't like cheese, (not even Whinsleydale?)...and it was really cheesey. So I had bacon and yogurt and fruit. The coffee was really good, Starbucks.

We went to the big mall. I wandered into The Disney Store...oh what fun! A nice guy gave me a 25% off coupon, then I found Flynn Ryder from Tangled for $10! With the coupon, that was $7.50! My little girls have wanted that guy for so long! So, since I felt a huge guiltfest for leaving them home in the first place, I bought them each one. I then got Jonny a $6 sweatshirt from P.S kids, or whatever the Aero store for kids is called. I got away relatively cheaply today, I do not like malls.

Then to Target...I got myself a few tops for spring, on sale of course. I had a coupon for $10 off a $75 purchase, and somehow magically my girls found things to put in the cart! A few pairs of 70% off jeans, some marked down undies, a space heater for Mali, and voila! I could use the coupon!

McDonalds drivethrough for cones and fries for them, coffee and a parfait for me. Home...wait, the library. I got two books, and a stack for Joseph. Then home...ahh, I missed Jonathan and the princesses. They were SO happy about their Flynns.

Now it is quiet, Evelyn is still up, reading one of my library books, Rosie is in her cage, and I am going to go make that toast...

hotel with girls

Abigail and I crashed long before the other rowdies, there are two rooms so all was good until Suze and Kap came in to go to sleep, ha, rather came in to laugh their heads off...needless to say, weare tired. The pool was cold, the hot tub is broken, the elevator didnt work last night and we are on the fourth floor...good exercise for me, but poor Abigail and her bad knee. Despite all that, we are having way too much fun.....now we can go to the big mall...

new nook

Paul came home from work on Friday night with a surprise for me...a new nook. I havent taken out my laptop all weekend. I dont know what was more exciting, actually getting this thing or how happy Paul was about surprising me. Aaron thinks it is hilarious how technogically impaired his mother is. We are leaving soon for our hotel get away, my five little girls ages 15, 13, 12, 11, and almost 10. And Abigail. Paul is taking three sad younger kids to McDonalds playland....Camille told him she wants a parfait, `because it's healthy!" This is hard to type on....

pictures

Charlotte Claire and I....
Camille playing Margaret's new ukelele.
Camille likes this old velvet Christmas dress...she says the word, "velvet" makes her think of princesses.

I made my meal plan. Wrote a chore list for next week. Shopped at Save-A-Lot, Wegman's, and Walmart today. Came home and put together some dinner (pot of beef stew), went in and worked out (yay me), and here I finally sit. I cleaned under all the furniture in the living room today, did some laundry, mopped the kitchen floor, phew. Now it is time to get dinner on the table because all the big kids are going to the youth meeting...

domestic godess

ha. Just kidding. But I do feel like one today, home for TWO whole days in a row! Lest you go thinking that means my house is spotless, consider this: I worked out for a whole thirty minutes, wrapped some presents for Suzanne with Camille, helped Camille write a card for Suze (she can write all her letters, she just asks what's next, and writes it.) I did sweep and mop and clean up here and there and do dishes and and and... After our lunch of leftover chicken added to canned soup, which was really good, I was hankering for a nap. I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies instead. I ate dough. Oh heavenly cookie dough, why do I love you? Then I had just a little taste of a cookie when it came out of the oven, and oh jeez, ...just one more little piece...then I was done. I was going to have my afternoon yogurt with my coffee, then decided: what the heck, I will have one cookie instead. Forget everything I wrote earlier, it was so good. Now I am trying not to feel too guilty, and am vowing to be a good girl for the rest of the night.

Dinner is in the oven, which feels wonderful...see, Paul tries to eat a Paleo diet, which makes him lean and trim, and feel good, and it makes me hate him, not really. So he will come home with a roast of beef, make some of it into jerky, which he says is very healthy, and cut the rest up and freeze it for me to make stew. Today I decided to make stew. My two bags of stew beef were frozen solid, so I did what any lazy lady would do, I simply put each chunk of beef in a pan, sprinkled with minced onions and salt and pepper, covered with foil, and put in oven. My hope is it will cook like a roast...I also added some baby carrots, then cut up a five pound bag of potatoes, covered those with salt and pepper and minced onion, foiled the pan, and put it in the oven. I have a cheat-y jar of gravy, some nice low-fat au juice, which I will add to the meat when it is done.

It is still raining out, chilly and gloomy, and I love it, makes me feel so cozy in here. I feel just so dang successful, having dinner in the oven. But I still want that nap..

all fired up and ready to go...

Camille isn't really going anywhere. She just made a miraculous recovery from yesterday's sickness....

Me, that is. I am encouraged, once again, renewed in spirit...not just in the weight loss battle, but for life in general.

I cruised the internet last night looking for inspirational weight loss stories, and found a few new blogs. One thing I read really hit home for me. This lady has lost 150 pounds, and she pointed out that we cannot have the best of both worlds. Well, duh, but it is easy for that to creep in...the thought that I "deserve" a bit of this or a taste of that, or "just one" of something. When I was dropping the pounds a few months back, I did not do that. So for me, right now, in this stage of life, I have to be radical! No more laxness!

And life in general: oh, we just KNOW so much. But to put it to practice, I am so lacking. I KNOW not to argue with my teenagers. I KNOW that a gentle answer turns away wrath. I KNOW it doesn't profit me in the least to Be Right about something. I KNOW that love covers a multitude of sins, that he who endures to the end shall be saved, that God causes all things to work together for the good for those who love Him, that no temptation has overtaken me than such is common to man, and God is faithful, He will provide a way out...it says in ephesians 4:23 to be "renewed in the spirit of your mind"...

It just hit me last night that I spend so much time and effort (ha, although not nearly enough!) on my body, getting it into shape and working out and trying to make it smaller...but this body will pass away. It is temporary. What is NOT seen is eternal, am I working on the really important things?

Yesterday was spent taking care of Camille, who is a different story when she is sick than say...Charlotte Claire, who is a little angel. Camille is sweet, but she is whiny and demanding when she is sick. She missed the bowl once, and I had to wash the couch cover, in addition to the huge stack of bedding I was putting through. She spent the evening cuddled up to Mama, with a fever. She is much better today.

Last night, I had no idea what to make for dinner, again. I have to make a meal plan for next week so when I am recovering I won't have to worry about the Daily Dilemma. (anyone notice I am looking forward to some down time? Even if it is after surgery?)Anyway, I made French Toast and sausage for the kids, cut up a cantaloupe, put out some grapes, then browned up some chicken breast for Paul and I and whoever wanted a healthier option, and put together a salad. I behaved and kept my paws off the yummy looking French toast, but it almost killed me. After dinner, I had some chocolate chips, but not too many, not like the M&M's binge from the night before. I eat so well for meals and have healthy snacks, I just have to exercise self-control when it comes to extras, like staying the heck away from them.

It is amazing how much I can accomplish around here when I am home all day. Yesterday I cleaned the little girls' room, picked up and vacuumed my room, picked up Jon and Sonja's room, did tons of laundry, swept and mopped...not that it is perfect in here, but it is not too shabby.

So today I also plan to stay home all day, although I am thinking of going to the pool tonight.

The girls and I are excited for our upcoming overnighter. There are two 42 inch televisions in the suite, so we can watch, "Downton Abbey", and Kathryn can watch something else if she wants. She says she isn't a fan, but ha, I see her watching it...I mean, how can anyone not be a fan? We will also get some swimming in, and hopefully a nice soak in the hot tub. Abigail is coming along too, so it will be really fun! Honestly, it is hard not to bring them all....really hard. But I will be with five of my daughters, and sometimes it is good to not have everyone. I guess.

I am the kind of mom that likes my kids with me though. Even when they were all littler, I would rather bring them all to the store with me than leave some home. It took longer, and in the store I would wonder a million times why I thought it was such a great idea to bring them. But - I still think the time spent with them was worth the craziness. (once in Walmart, when I was pregnant, I had three kids in the cart and a few walking...the walkers both climbed up on the side of the cart at the check-out when I wasn't looking, and it tipped over, spilling the baby and the toddlers out...it could have been really bad, instead it was just really embarrassing, with some crying kids and a red-faced me as the helpful employees and passer-bys informed me that I REALLY had my hands full.) hmm.

I saw a comic yesterday that pictured a lady at the gates of heaven, being informed that, "By the way, you saved $554, 332 in coupons in your life..." I thought that put things in perspective.

Yes, my thoughts are all over the place again today. I have two birthdays next week, one the day after my surgery - Mirielle turns 22, then the next day Suzanne turns eleven. I have some gifts already for Mirielle, and Suze's gift is the hotel trip. I would like to get her something small to give her on her birthday though.

I am making up a chore chart as well as the meal plan, trying to make myself obsolete for a few days.

Isn't it awful that I am looking forward to a few days of No Responsibility? Hopefully I get my lovely reading glasses by then, I shall lie in bed and read...ha, I am so bad.

Camille has a different pretty dress on now. She "wants" me, so off I go...it is nice to be wanted...and she is getting so big so fast, dang, what am I going to do when no kids "want" me anymore? wah.

who said this job was easy?

This morning I had to break Sonja's little heart. She was going to take the bus to Susan's house and help with those baby twins. She LOVES those babies. But, since Miss Camille woke Mama in the wee hours of the morning with those magical words, "I puked in my bed!", I decided it would not be be very loving of us to send Sonja over to be with the babies, since we obviously have this virus going around. She was NOT happy with me. She fussed and begged and cajoled, but I did not budge, firm in my mind that I had made the right decision. It won't hurt Sonja to wait a while until the sickness is out of the house before she goes and holds those tiny little sweeties.

It is not a popularity contest, being The Mom.

Good thing.

Because Sonja does not like my policies today.

So it is a dreary sort of day, the kind where it is just a tad bit too warm for snow, yet there are some flakes mixed with the rain. Kitty Kitten is sleeping in her spot, the back of the couch near the window. Camille stopped complaining how much her tummy hurt and fell asleep in the nest on the couch. Charlotte Claire got a third day off from school because I want her to be totally better before I send her back to kindergarten. Plus, her teacher sent her home some work. She is still sleeping. Rosie is sleeping in her cage. I would love to go back to bed, but Char will be getting up soon...or will she? hmm....

I gave Paul a new spatula for Valentine's Day. There used to be a spoof commercial on The Rush Limbaugh show on the radio which said, "What better way to say, "I Love You", than with a spatula from Spatula City." There IS something to be said for a good spatula. This one is a Farberware, very sharp and thin, yet won't scratch those pans. I also got him a 50 cent card and wrote a nice little note in it. Jonathan said to Daddy, "Maybe Mommy gave you money in your card." It struck me as hilarious, because why would I give Paul his own money? Then Jon said, "But it would just be your money she gave you!!" Then Paul said something really nice...he said, "No, it is Mommy's money too, she helps earn it." I really wanted to make a bad joke about how I earn it, but this is a family blog, and it was a family dinner, so I just smiled at him. ha.

Suze and I had a nice day together yesterday. We went to the hospital for my pre-admission testing, which was just blood pressure (112/68, yay!), and some bloodwork. Then her xray, which came out just fine. It is a tough call, when there is swelling and bruising, her finger looks broken. Anyway, we finished up at the hospital, put some gas in the van, went into BJ's for just a few things, then went to Panera for lunch, because Suzanne really wanted to. I think it is too expensive, but it is yummy. And I was more careful yesterday than the first time I went there, but I still chose the bread rather than the apple...I mean, fresh baguette with butter? Killer! I stuck with the salad this time, no dressing, and no panini. We did share a cinnamon bun, but Suze was so full from her chicken soup in a bread bowl, she couldn't finish her half. Can anyone guess who finished it for her? Gladly? blah.

Yes, I had fun with Suzanne. My sweet little girl, she is almost eleven years old. She is the fourth of the Five-Girls-In-A-Row-In-Five-Years. She can be so smart and know-it-all and just plain Too Cool For School around the house sometimes. But those times with me, she is just so glad to talk and be listened to, and she loves hearing about when I was little...so we had a grand old time, and it was totally worth the fifteen bucks for lunch.

Home...I did go in and exercise, yay me. Not that it is doing any good, but I won't get into that today, because I am holding on to hope that I will do better, and stay out of the chocolate. Last night was M&M Night. I had too many. Ten M&M's have 34 calories, so even twenty isn't all that bad. But I lost count, so that is REALLY BAD. I was Boss Of The Bag, not smart. They were so chocolate-y and good. I need to get back my former discipline, I do not need to eat this stuff. Not at all. I need to say NO, and get back into my groove. And I will! See, I just encouraged myself!

Okay, I'm back. Had to empty Camille's bowl, all the while being thankful that she is old enough to make it to the bowl, of course. Switched loads of laundry over, ignoring the noise in that laundry room - so many loads wanting to go in first! But no- barfy bedding takes priority this morning!

I am happy today. Happy that I am done with the dreaded monthly curse for another month (I hate it! Hate that it makes me feel so yucky and ugly and miserable and mean...although I promise I try not to just act the way that I feel....) I am happy that I have Charlotte Claire home from school today. Happy that, as far as I know, I don't have to go anywhere today. Happy that there is milk and bread, and plenty of fruits and veggies. (no, I do not know what is for dinner tonight...I am not THAT happy.) I am happy that I got the place cleaned up yesterday afternoon, so it is not an eyesore this fine morning, although it is by no means a Furniture Store Showroom.

There were only ten of us at the table for dinner last night. College kids still at college, a few girls at Susan's house, ect. We had taco salad, which was very yummy, especially because we had some black olives and red peppers. I don't eat mine with tortilla chips anymore, just lots of spinach and/or romaine. Not easy when we have those Tostito's Lime Chips.

Today is a More Coffee Day. I wish Sonja was here to get me another cup, ha. I know, I know, I am perfectly capable. Just perfectly lazy today.

Paul spoke with Benjamin yesterday. blah. I almost cried as he recounted his conversation. As with anything to do with the military, I am hesitant to write much here as far as details because I know the government monitors facebook (a wife up at Fort Drum wrote on facebook when her husband was returning from Afghanistan, and next thing you know, military police were knocking at her door, warning her.)....anyway, the place Ben is being sent is not a good place. The unit they are replacing took so many hits and had so many casualties...blah. I am working being at rest about Benjamin, but...it does not come natural to me. It is a fight. Ben is such a good kid in his big strong tough body. He is kind and sensitive, and he will be so scarred by what he is going to see as a combat medic. And that is not even going to the thoughts that want to nudge in and say, "IF he comes back...", because I will not think those thoughts. I can not. But they are there at the edge of my mind, wanting to come in...but, heck, he hasn't even left the States yet, so I will not waste any more time worrying about things there are no need to worry about.

And now I shall get moving again, perhaps brew another pot of half-caffeine coffee...