Saturday, in the park...

...or rather, in the living room.  My world has shrunk in a way, but I am quite content for the most part.  Yesterday was a rough day though.  I went to the pool, you know the drill...one foot in front of the other.  It was wonderful to finally get into the water.  A close by school district had the day off from school, so there were some kids in the pool too.  I decided to get out of the water early, so the pool deck wasn't so soaking wet, the cane slips.  ("The cane", I cannot be talking about myself and a cane?  Life is interesting!)

Anyway.  I did a lot of exercises in that pool, and when I got home, I had a lot of trouble walking.  Some of it is just muscle fatigue, but my knee was doing a strange thing when I bent it too.  It was discouraging. I was home along for several hours, and decided to make a pot of soup.  You have to be smart when your steps are laborious. You need to take the refrigerator ingredients out and put them on the closest counter, then move them from that counter to the other counter...I got everything on the counter near the stove, went to measure the spices, and dang it I forgot to grab the measuring spoons, so...I decided to just eye it.  That Ambitious Kitchen Best Chicken Soup recipe is a keeper.  Ginger, Tumeric, rosemary, salt, pepper, garlic, chopped onions and celery and carrots...then a cup of couscous...lots of chicken, of course.  

Hobbling around the house wasn't easy yesterday afternoon and evening, but I told myself it would be better today, and it is.  I did some exercises, went down and back up the stairs, and it's better.  Motion is lotion, right.  

Tomorrow we are going over to Emily's house for a turkey dinner.  We're bringing potatoes, and will make mashies in her instant pot.  I was thinking maybe a pan of stuffing too...we will be celebrating Kathryn's 28th and Wulf's 8th birthdays, and Rosi's is today!  So I ordered a few birthday gifts from Amazon, which is my go-to these days, as I'm not wandering the aisles of Walmart or Target.  

Things that make me happy, in no particular order, because why would I introduce order into my life at age 60?:

The new toasted coconut vanilla creamer from Chobani.  It's very low in sugar, and I just use a tiny splash, along with a few splashes of heavy cream, in my hot Americano.  Too much is yuck, as I don't like sweet coffee, but a little hint makes it good.

Paul vacuumed and mopped this morning before he left to work on the apartment.  We bought this new little Shark mop thing, he really likes using it, which is a win!  (It's cordless rechargeable, vacuums a little, then mops, but doesn't mop up the water, it's a $60 mop, nice, but not the kind that vacuums up the water and really cleans the floors, but it is what it is and I'm glad we have it!)

My ice machine.  Paul got me a little ice machine for Christmas, so we always have a nice big bowl of ice in the freezer.  ( The one in our refrigerator stopped working ages ago.)

The grandkids.  Yesterday 4 year old Rhys wanted to call someone, so her mama let her call me.  The other kids all had exciting things to say too.  Sometimes Tennyson talks to me, sometimes he face-times with me, and gets me all dizzy as he walks around with the phone showing me stuff in his house.  

The cats.  They are good companions, yet they seem hell-bent on tripping me ha.  

Paul.  He's so funny.  He is extremely fit and is always swinging 70 pound kettle bells and doing dips on the pull up bar in his office doorway.  He can pull his ankle all the way back to his butt, with his leg completely bent up behind him, he suggested I try that to stretch my thigh.  um.  yeah.  You can't probably do it all the way like this, but do what you can, he said.  My eyebrows were up pretty high, as I agreed to try.  

One thing that makes me so happy is when those buds on the trees magically turn into newborn leaves.  It hasn't happened yet here, nor have the tulips and daffodils bloomed, but it is going to happen soon.  It doesn't stop being amazing, year after year.

Memories of my sister make me happy.  We used to go late night grocery shopping together, and one of our favorite stores built a brand new building, and when they first reopened, they would have these specials on their bakery items.  We thought the announcements were triggered by us walking through the door...All of our donuts are now one dollar a dozen.  Please stop by the bakery and make your selection.  We would look at each other and say things like pinch me, I'm dreaming...and they're probably doing this so they can watch how fast we run over there on the cameras...  of course we were pushing our carts over to the bakery to indeed make our selections, as fast as we could without seeming really obvious.

I like when the girls are home.  I have to restrain myself not to talk to them  too much when they're doing work, it's not easy.  Miss Cam is on the couch right now, with her laptop open.  I don't want to break her concentration every five minutes with things like, oh dear, another Duggar was arrested!  

I have to admit I liked when President Trump made the Pearl Harbor comment to the Japanese PM.  I laughed my head off.  Was it professional and presidential?  probably not.  

I like when my laundry is all done, I have this thing about having lots of pairs of clean undies and socks.  

Crunchy peanut butter.  Sometimes you just need a spoonful.

Hearing from my older kids, or better yet, seeing them.  It always blesses me.  They have no idea.  The married ones have exceptionally nice spouses too, so I love seeing them too. 

Yeah, so now I have to get up and walk around, do some squats, get on the exercise bike...I'm making it sound like I'm all fit and in shape, ha.  I find myself seeing other people just walking, and wondering if they know how lucky they are...wondering if that will ever be me, just walking without even thinking about it.  I hope so!  I can't give up, although I did say to Paul yesterday, if I were a horse you'd  have to shoot me.  Don't worry...I am not in the depths of despair.  I do get tempted to feel sorry for myself sometimes, but I truly fight that.  There is just too much to be thankful for.  

You all have a nice Saturday! 

here we go again...

 to physical therapy.  I haven't been in a few weeks.  I missed a week because we were traveling to Norway, missed another when we just got back, now this week here I go again.  I am not too dramatic in saying how much I dread it, I hope.  I'll be honest, I am not at peace with this whole thing yet, mentally.  This morning, I was cleaning the stove top, and washing the window behind the sink (how does that get so spattered?!), when it occurred to me:  I am the only one who can help me.   Others can encourage me, say what they will, but I am in charge of what thoughts I let reign.

  It doesn't feel like feeling sorry for myself, but I guess it is.  Today, for example, Sonja and Kai came by and picked up Char and Cam, and went to Trader Joe's.  I LOVE Trader Joe's, only go a few times a year.  But, even if I didn't have PT this afternoon, I would hesitate to go, it's always crowded and I'm wobbly.  Yesterday, Darius was going up to the hospital to bring some lunch to Jon and Rosi, and said he'd pick me up if I wanted to go see the baby.  I had to decline, for one because there is so much snow up there, making parking lots treacherous, for two, I didn't know if I could walk down the corridors and through the lobby...seriously.  I didn't go to the pool today because school was delayed for two hours, we got a bunch more snow last night, and I didn't know how well cleared the parking would be, again, it's too difficult to walk with that cane in the snow and when it's slippery.

So life goes on, and I can't do what I want to do, and I wonder if I'll ever get better than this.  

Oh wah, everyone has their trials, and I KNOW God is good, so here lies the battle.  I'm just being truthful here.  I have not given in and decided to be miserable, but it also doesn't mean I'm automatically all happy about it.  So I'm fighting to be thankful and not weighed down by the "what ifs".  

The frozen pool...

Several inches of new snow last night, and yes that is the patio table upside down, it was windy too!

It IS pretty...but ugh.  It takes me forever to navigate across the deck and down the stairs when it's slippery.  Paul shoveled and put salt down, but I am not jumping up and down about going out there to PT today.  He said the sunshine feels good though, so there is that.  :).  

See, I never wanted to be one of those miserable old people, cranky and complaining.  Now I see why they get that way, but I still don't want to head there ha.  

And...here I am, home from PT, had dinner (Paul made tacos!), and I'm in my comfy chair.  He is installing the new stove hood/vent.  I haven't heard any swear words yet.  I offered to help, he said he's got it.  :)

Before, with the black hood...

And, after, with the stainless...it's the little things:)

So.  I went to PT, and since I hadn't been in a while, I had to fill out a questionaire, and I sat down and talked to the therapist.  He looked up what a hinged knee is, asked some questions, and told me they were rare, like a zebra pulling a cart, and not a horse.  In any case, I have an appointment next Thursday with the surgeon, and have some questions for him.  I will call the PT place afterward, or stop by, and we'll plan accordingly.  

I measured great, good bend, good extension, did all the exercises, but the walking...nope.  I can't seem to bend the knee while walking, it's straight and like a wooden leg.  He had me squat a little and take some steps, but something feels really off when I do that.  So.  Next step, see the surgeon, get the x-rays done, and see what he says about it.  If it's just a matter of "everything is fine, just do things, it won't hurt anything...", then we'll see.  I hope there isn't anything broken in there!

He actually suggested getting the walker back out, trying to walk more naturally with it, for practice, at home.  ugh.  But I will.  Just to see if I can get smoother.  

So that's the story.  I can say this:  I feel heard now.  I feel like it isn't just me.  I've put in the work, I've done the exercises, there is something off.  It could just be because it's a hinged knee, and it's normal for it take so long with it.  

Anyway.   

Emilia Mavis...

Jonathan carrying the carseat to leave the hospital...how is he 21, married, and a dad?  It's like warp-speed happened when I wasn't paying attention.   I'm super proud of Rosi, she was a champ, Jon said.  Birth isn't easy, biggest understatement ever.  I cannot wait to meet little Miss!  

You all have a really nice evening!

welcome to the world!

 I am not posting a picture of baby Emilia yet, as they have not sent out any announcements yet, but she was born yesterday, and she's beautiful!  I had a hard lesson in it, as I found myself anxious, knowing they were in the hospital and the birth was imminent, then not hearing anything for a few hours...when she was born, and I saw a picture, I cried.  She is so beautiful, and what a miracle a newborn baby is.  

My hard lesson was a memory of when I was having Emily, 41 years ago when I was just 19 years old.  My m-i-l was there at the hospital in the waiting room, and the nurse kept telling us she was asking how we were doing, she was there all day long...and now I wonder why on earth didn't I have her come in to see me while I was in labor?  Even for a quick hug?  Now, being in her shoes, I understand so well how much that would have meant.  

Now we have 19 grandchildren.  

Ben and Ashley have 3

Molly and Josh have 3

Sam and Grace have 4

Margaret and Adrian have 3

Kathryn and Darius have 4

Sonja and Oscar have 1

Jonathan and Rosi have 1

And, three more this year!  I'll tell when I can tell! 

I didn't go anywhere today, woke up to at least four inches of new snow.  It was cold and windy too.  I've just puttered around, vacuumed, washed dishes, did exercises.  Miss Char stopped at the store on the way home from class.  It's so strange not to be going places all the time, but it's SO challenging to walk through a store...especially when you have to go through ice and snow in the parking lot, and just to get to the car in the driveway.  Hopefully it clears up by tomorrow, I have pool, then PT in the afternoon.

I don't usually eat lunch, but today I decided to take the last bit of corned beef and red skinned potatoes and chop them into a hash, browned up in olive oil in the iron frying pan, with an egg cooked on top.  It was SO good.  I didn't eat most of the potatoes, but they were good.   

My two youngest children who aren't even "children" anymore...Miss Charlotte Claire is 19, and Miss Camille Anaya is 18, they are grown up college students.  I can't believe it.

They went to D.C. this past weekend, and spent some time in the Nat'l Museum of Art.  

In other exciting news, our new stove hood/vent arrived today, and is in the box at the foot of the deck stairs.  Paul is working on an apartment we need to rent, putting in a new kitchen faucet, and re-installing the toilet after putting new flooring in the bathroom.  Our present stove hood is only a few years old, but stopped working, so we just ordered another one, not black this time though, stainless steel.  

The apartment is almost finished, so Paul can start doing more here, ha.  When you own a home, there is always something to be done, whether it's just maintenance or updating things. (add in a few rental houses, and ugh!!!!)  Springtime brings yard work, and then there's the pool to work on.  We have it on our list to put in new countertops, as our are original to the house, which was framed in 1991, moved in in 1992.  They're blue with wood trim edging, and I actually don't hate them.  We were thinking to go with wood countertops, but now are reconsidering and thinking to do formica/laminate that looks like wood, some of the new ones look absolutely convincing, and are far easier to take care of.  We never had a backsplash, and I want the PVC beadboard, all the way up to the bottoms of the cabinets, I love the timeless old fashioned look of it.  I'd like new tile behind the stove too.  We have a white porcelain divided sink, and would like to update to a large one bowl white sink.  (Our sink is nice, but it is wearing out along the edges, porcelain chipping off!).   I also want the cabinets changed around...we built this house ourselves, and when I say WE, I mean mostly Paul and my brothers Bob and Tom.  We had newborn baby Joseph, our fifth child, when we started framing, he was ten/eleven months old when we moved in.  The kitchen cabinets:  two got switched around and put in the wrong places, and every so often it bugs the heck out of me.  You might never notice, but once you see it: 

This first cabinet is supposed to be the same size as the second two.  (also, that's where the vacuum cleaner landed after I vacuumed up a muddy mess AFTER I had already vacuumed, someone's boots:)(also, that's how the counters look right now, oops)

(there, I cleaned off the counters a little!)

See the cabinet above the clock?  That's the one that belongs with the other two, and the wider one belongs over that clock, matching in size to the lower one.  It's not the end of the world, but I would like them switched, for once and for all, before we put up the bead board.  Or whatever backslash we decide on:). (The tile behind the stove was blue like the countertops, with some printed tiles with baskets of flowers on them, I kind of wish I hadn't painted over them...)

Anyway.  Projects beget projects, and we aren't moving anywhere, so we may as well make our space as nice as we can, for as reasonable as we can.  Right now, I have chicken in the air fryer, but the girls are in more of a hurry, as they are going to help with the little kids at Activity Club, so they are making street tacos with chicken that Char cooked up last night.  

Paul is home now, since it took me all the live-long day to write this.  :)

You all have a really good afternoon!

small victories!

Some things we get to choose, some things we don't.  This fine morning, I woke up and felt blah.  I've been a little stuffy, and my head hurt, my ears ached...so I thought, Well, I won't go to the pool.  But, I got up and brushed my teeth, washed my face in cold water, and made a strong coffee with no cream, and felt much better.  I protested every step of the way, but I inched my way across that deck, went down the stairs, and into the car.  

My parking spot was too far away, wah wah wah, but towards the rec center I hobbled, then called the desk for them to open the back door for me.  Up the stairs and down the hall, step by step.  Into the locker room, then out to the pool deck...the entrance to the ramp is on the complete opposite corner from the locker room, so I had to walk all along the pool deck, looking diligently to find dry spots for the cane, as it slips in the water, and the pool deck is of course WET.  When I reach that ramp, I have to inch down it, so slowly, DON'T LOOK AT ME, ha.  

Finally in the water, ahhh, the class has already started, but I don't care.  I just join in and move as much as I can.  Row the boat, pull the rope, arm circles...it feels good to move in the water.  When the class finishes the shallow water exercises and goes to the deep end, I stay in the neck deep water and walk across the pool, then backwards back, then again, walking like normal, it feels good.  Then, up the ramp, leaving the buoyancy of the water to the pulling of gravity, ugh.  Then back around the perimeter of the whole pool again, dodging the puddles and wet footprints, then back into the locker room.  

It isn't easy yet.  I don't love the whole rigamarole.  I can barely even say it's a choice to go, but it is.  What else can I do?  I cannot walk without that cane yet, and even with it, it's dismal.  So I NEED to exercise and keep busy and move and walk.  

What I CAN choose is to be happy in it all.  That part is difficult sometimes.  

I got home today, and Sonja came to visit with baby Kaia.  I ordered the expensive flea collars for the cats, I already have one for Sunny.  I didn't do much else.  But.  I am going to have another grandbaby before the day is through!   Number 19 is on her way, a few weeks early!  (#20, 21, and 22 will be here by October!). 

Look at those happy feet!

Playing with a doll's bottle...she is precious!

Yesterday was wonderful, we celebrated Mr. Ellis, a brand new one year old! 

He did like his cupcake!  

Yeah, so I get an F- in picture taking...you can see Blythe in her overalls, and Achilles, and Mariel...that's Ophelia in the pink...

Some granddaughters:  Blythe, Maeve, Ruth, Rhys...and Nate:). We had our corned beef and cabbage, and red-skinned potatoes.  Emily brought an Instantpot with some sort of chicken, and made a pot of pasta.  Mariel made a really nice salad, Rosi baked a loaf of bread.  The kids had their birthday cupcakes, and I passed out mini M&M's.  The boys went out back and played in the bracken, (I just wanted to use that word), but Tenny told me Grant has a lair.  They love playing in the woods.  

We are having strange weather.  The temp this afternoon:  68 degrees, and by morning, in the teens.  With more snow.  Benjamin and family are on vacation down south, and the weather there is awful, so their flight is getting delayed over and over again...I think they might rent a car and drive home...

So many things to pray for!  You think your kids grow up and move out and you can relax, HA.  

Anyway.  Just making the decision to actually go to the pool is a small victory.  By the time I heave myself up those deck steps and get back into the house, I feel like it was a HUGE victory!  

Yah, I know, I talk about my poor knee too much.  I'm going back to physical therapy this week too...I hate to, but I need it.   

This post is all over the place, but then, so am I!  You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten up while writing it.  I just did some squats and leg lifts with the five pound ankle weight, and came back to my chair.  

It's super quiet in here right now.  Paul is puttering around, working and such, the girls are in their rooms doing school work, and here I am.   It's been a good day, but the days go by way too fast.  Slow down, life!  You all have a good afternoon!

not sure why!

 Yeah, so I was in the middle of a masterpiece post, and my typing stopped showing up on the page.  I turned the computer off and back on, and it works now.  It's probably clogged up with tons of garbage and needs updates.  I guess I was almost done anyway.  I had a nice time at Margaret's.  I got to see Tenny's new fish, and Wulf wrote me a note that said, "Stop pesterine me."  :). 

This fine day is too quiet.  I vacuumed a little, did a load of laundry, washed a few dishes, cleaned the sink, put out a few little Easter bunnies.  I ordered some candy from Walmart, and can't wait to fill a big basket for the grandkids.  Add that to the list of things I miss:  filling Easter baskets!  I loved doing that, and there were years when I filled like 25, for my kids and for another family.   They grew up and moved out and there were fewer baskets...now Miss Char and Miss Cam don't really care for them so much.  But, I do have 18 grandchildren, so dang it, I'm going to fill a big basket for the dining room table.  

I ate a spoonful of peanut butter, and had two cups of coffee.  I rode the exercise bike, and am going to get on it again in a few minutes, along with doing some other exercises.  Paul should be home soon, and we will start dinner.  He's getting more corned beef for tomorrow's dinner.  We'll have red skinned potatoes, and cabbage, and some carrots, along with the corned beef.  We will celebrate Ellis's first birthday too!  Kathryn is making the cupcakes/dessert for that.  

I strive to be truthful on this blog.  Life isn't all sunshine and roses and puppy dogs, but it mostly is.  I am usually a very positive person, and I also believe with all of my heart that God sends us what we need, what is for our very best, so I do not want to be unsatisfied with that.  But it comes with a struggle and a fight sometimes, it isn't just like a magic wand.  Life isn't always like I think it should be, or how I want it to be, then I have to learn to be content, and figure out what I can do to make it better without being a grump about it.  

It is a perfect day for feeling down in the dumps.  Seriously.  I have a few lanterns on, and the lights on in the windows, and the living room mini-split is humming with heat.  It's chilly in the edges of the room, and it's dark and gloomy outside.  It snowed last night, but it only stuck on the vehicles and deck...the ground is brown and green.  There are no leaves on the trees yet here, so they are just...brown.  I am not down in the dumps.  But I am thoroughly enjoying the coziness.  I am blessed with a purring mama cat on the arm of my chair, too.  She jumps up and has to put her nose on my nose, greeting me, I guess.  She purrs and purrs and can't get close enough.  Her favorite is kneading my sweater and making little pulls in it.  :). Also, if I stop petting her, she reaches out with her paw and reminds me.  

Sam and Samantha...

Ophelia and Denzel

Old Kitty and I....

You all have a really good afternoon!

things i miss...

 Old people and The Good Old Days, who woulda thunk we would be among those longing for them?  I was hanging up clothes today, and it reminded me of shopping in Sears.  Sears was a bit hoity-toity for us when we were growing up, but when I had my own kids, I found myself there often.  I bought nursing bras, maternity jumpers, footwear, kids' clothes, winter coats, appliances.  

I miss the mall too.  We have a huge-0 mall,  in the city, but it doesn't feel safe to me, in fact there was a shooting there last night, after it closed in the parking lot.  It's also so big, and there isn't much there that's affordable.  In the smaller mall that closed, there was a Sears on one end, Dick's on the other, and in the Good Old Days, a K-Bee-Toys.  We would go to The Children's Place, and H&M, straight to the clearance racks, of course.  They added an Old Navy, and we were all set.  In later years there was a Dunkin in the middle, with lots of comfy chairs, it was a great place to go on a snowy or rainy day.  

We would smell the caramel corn and the Cinnabon, but we never bought it, too expensive.  We would smell the candles in the Yankee store, and in the Bed Bath, and Beyond, and sometimes bought some from there.  (It was a big trick, like:  Buy Three Get Three Free!, and you'd walk out of there saying Dang, I just spent fifty bucks on soap and scent!).   We went in Claire's sometimes, they had good sales and the girls quite liked it.  They liked Charlotte Russe, and a few other little stores, as well as Aeropostale.  I liked when they had Gap and Baby Gap.  (When Jonathan was born, I bought him loads of adorable outfits from there, we hadn't had a baby boy (a live one, which is hard to say, but Robert didn't need any baby clothes, sadly) in years, almost ten years.  

Anyway.  I do miss the mall days.  

I miss having the kids home.  It echoes in here of quiet today.  Sonja and Oscar and baby Kaia went to Washington D.C. with Char and Cam for the weekend.  Paul is working on an apartment in a house we own, it's been empty for months, with us paying the mortgage and utilities, have to get someone in there!  I would normally be there helping him, but add that to the list of things I miss!  I am not much help these days.

I miss my sister, of course.  Sometimes achingly so.  I walked past the guest room, and recalled bringing the phone in there to talk to here, if the girls were out here in the living room.  It's like a gut punch sometimes, the remembering she's gone, and the nothingness now.  I feel desperately lonely, and I know I'll adjust, but there is no one on this earth I can converse with like I did with her.    

Yah, I know, I have an excellent husband to talk to, and he really is sweet and kind, but he isn't interested in the details.  And shh, half the things I talked to Cheryl about were about him, ha.  Oh, nothing bad, but husbands are hilarious in their own way.  I didn't get to tell her about the time about a month ago when he said to me:  Can you tell me what's for dinner, in ten words or less?  In other words, he didn't want a rambling answer, just get to the point.  It was hilarious, yet a tiny bit hurtful.  My answers aren't THAT boring...along the lines of:  Well, there is bacon, so we could have eggs, and we have peppers and onions, so we could have scrammys, but there is burger we should eat, but I'm not sure of the girls will be here, so maybe we should freeze that and have chicken?  I sort of see his point.  But, in any case, Cheryl would have appreciated that.

Yesterday after I went to the pool, I came home and puttered around a little.  I was discouraged, my walking is not great.  Paul was going to work on the apartment, so I asked Margaret if I could come visit for a few hours.  Wulf, Tennyson, and Blythe were very glad to see me.  I read some stories and listened to their stories, and had some hugs, and Wulf made me a coffee, with his mama's help.  

things I love...

 ...in no particular order:

Comments on the blog.  It makes my day!  I don't always answer them, and I do apologize for that, but I love getting them.

Spontaneous fun.  I think this is why I don't like to make too many plans.

Knowing what's for dinner.  Better yet, having it all made and it's cooking all day, like a stew.  

Having someone else make dinner.  :)

The grandkids.  This morning, five year old Tennyson called me, face-timed, to tell me about his fish, to show me the car he painted, stuff on his bedroom wall, what was on tv.

A dark rainy day, the gloomier the better.  This is why I like living in Central New York State, we get plenty.  I also love a nice sunny day of course!   A snowy day is nice too, if I don't have to drive in it, I love how it looks, and that quiet echo-y-ness that is unique to being outside in the snow.  

Spring.  We central NY-ers appreciate spring like no one else, especially the ones in the direct path of all that Lake Effect snow.  

Coffee.  Locally roasted is the best, but I also like the Lavazza whole bean espresso beans, and the Starbucks Blonde roast beans.  I just ordered a 6 pack of those from Amazon for $40, which is a really good deal, and we go through so much coffee.  I'm not getting a penny to say that I also really like my Ember mug, it keeps the coffee hot until the last sip, I really love it. 

Norwegian chocolate.  Now, this is particularly difficult because there is a stack of bars on the counter, and I know I cannot crack into one, or it'll be annihilated.  Paul brought one to Ray who works at the dump, and I gave the smaller Kvik Lunj bars to all my friends at the pool yesterday.  I have a few for Molly's birthday, in addition to a bag of Smash!, which is Norwegian chocolate covered Bugles, so deadly good.  We will get those big bars out when people come over, or if we really want something special.

Hand soap that smells good.  My current favorite is Mrs. Meyer's Lilac.  It smells JUST LIKE FRESH LILACS.  

Clean floors.  It is still a struggle to vacuum, but I'll do it, because I hate yucky floors.  With a yellow Labrador, there is always dog hair.  We don't wear our shoes in the house, but it still needs daily vacuuming.  If wishes were fishes and we ate them on dishes, I'd have one or two of those robot vacuums, as long as we're wishing, the ones that mop while they're at it, would be nice.  A really top of the line vacuum mop could land here too, and I wouldn't complain.  You know, self cleaning, maybe some steam, like a Tineco.

Camping.  Every time I think of going camping, I get such a happy feeling.  It's so much fun, and I love being in the camper.  It's so small and manageable and cozy.  It's coming up!

There are also a few things I do not like:

My so-so mobility.  Let's be honest, it's awful to not be able to just walk around and do what you want.  Compared to how I was doing a month or two ago, I have no complaints, but I am definitely not where I want to be yet.  What if this is as good as it gets?  What if I never am able to scurry through an airport again?  Wander the whole Walmart without dragging and limping?  On the flip side, it's better than being in constant pain, and at least I CAN walk.  There are worse things in this world.  Will this thing be the thing that steals my joy?  Steals my thankfulness?  These are daily battles for me, and I am determined that I will not sink into despair.  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, of famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written, for thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.  For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8 v.35-39).  (So, I do not like the way I struggle to walk, but dang if I'm going to let it rob me of my peace!)

People looking at me.  This was hard for me on my vacation, but hey, caring what people think is NOT what I want to cling to, so it was good for me!  This is also a big issue when going to the pool, because walking along the pool deck in my big old lady bathing suit is not my favorite even when I'm NOT hobbling so slowly on my cane I'm almost going backwards, being careful not to set the cane tip in wet spots, as it then it slides and takes me with it.  I want to yell, "Don't look at me!".  But, in the long run, who cares?  They're nice people, and I have to do what I have to do for my health, wouldn't want to stay home just because I'm mortally embarrassed.  But believe me, I was tempted!

Our deck is getting splinter-y.  When you get a nice huge-0 new deck, and paint it regularly with sealer, it shouldn't deteriorate so quickly, but thank you New York winters!  (ask me how I know it's getting splinter-y....)

Missing my sister.  This is not fun, and it is not getting easier.  We know she's in a better place, but as Sam always says, two things can be true at once.  I would like to tell her about arriving in Oslo, and our mutual friend Patty was on the same flight, also needed wheelchair assistance, and this young Norwegian whippersnapper pushed both of us at once, as if we were as light as feathers!  Patty might be rather feather-ish, but I certainly am not.  Cheryl would have gotten a kick out of it!  

A warm afternoon on the deck without calling Cheryl.  It's like a huge part of my life has been scooped out, and there's this nothing-ness.  It would sound strange to you all, with me here with so many kids and my husband who works from home, but sometimes I get so lonely!  Paul is actually working during the day, and the girls are here sometimes, but always doing their work, ect.  The other kids do come visit sometimes, but most of the time I'm on my own, and I'm seeing that I dealt with that by storing up things to talk to Cheryl about.  She always cared about the details!  You know how when you talk to some people you feel so boring?  But when I talked to Cheryl, I never felt that way.  We could converse for hours.  I do have it that way with my girls too, and I am super thankful for that.  But this is in the Things I Don't Like Category:). 

Well this is not supposed to turn into a Pity Party, is it?  No, there is much to be thankful for.  

This weekend, we'll have some corned beef and celebrate our Irish heritage, if Char finds some when she stops at Aldi after her college classes today.  She won't be here for it, as she's going to Washington D.C. with Camille, and Sonja and Oscar and baby Kaia.  

I took a break from writing and vacuumed the hallway, kitchen, dining area, and living room.  It feels better in here.  In a little while, I'll mop.  :)

Anyway.  It's that time of day, to figure out what's for dinner...you all have a good afternoon!

hello!

 So the question was asked about Norway and my connection to folks there.  Our church has a conference center there, so I like to go every year to the sisters' conference, there is such an excellent vibe!  All the thankful ladies of all ages, lots of moms, single women, older women, all there to be encouraged to fight the good fight of faith, and to have so much fun together.   They come from all different countries.  We met a lady from India, who lives in England, and had such a nice time getting to know her.   Our Canadian friends were there, and Sonja's friend Sonja from Germany, and of course Oscar's family!  

(and yes, I had a knee replacement surgery in November.  I'm the world's slowest recoverer, but to be fair, my orthopedic surgeon told me I had the worst arthritis he's ever seen, and he had to install a hinge knee.)

(In any case, I am super thankful I can at least walk, even if it's not great yet!)

This fine morning, I woke up still doubting my ability to get my rear end to that pool.  My walking has been meh, but I knew the best thing was to get in the water.  I had some anxiety about it, to be honest, but I went anyway.  In the car on the way there, I sang songs of faith to myself, about not caring what people think...it's embarrassing to hobble so slowly!  What if I fall?  All of it, garbage, those thoughts.  So I just went.

As usual, it was fantastic to get into that water.  I brought back Norwegian chocolate for all of my pool friends, and the lifeguard, which is so rewarding and fun!  

Home...ahh, home.  Charlotte Claire didn't have class today, so they were going to do something...it ended up being Sonja and baby Kaia picking us up and going to Target!  I pushed a cart, and walked so slowly I was almost going backwards.  By the end of the store, I was going even slower than that!  But, I did it.  

There were packages of 93% ground beef half off, so $3.85.  I got four, and froze them into balls in quart sized freezer bags, four to a pound.  You can thaw them and make smash burgers!  Or make chili or whatever.  I didn't get much else, a salad kit, and the girls got some snacks for a gathering they are going to tonight.  

Right now I'm having some raspberry tea, and enjoying my comfy chair.  It was pouring rain when we got homes and I got pretty soaked.  I was chilled from the pool anyway, now I have a sweater on and my tea, and I'm warming up. 

You all have a really good afternoon!!!! 

I'm baaaack!

 Oh dear, can I just say it was fantastic?  I can't believe I am not on the other side of the Trip to Norway.  It went so well, but not without a bit of suffering, but that is life.  

We drove to Newark, New Jersey, to the airport.  It takes almost five hours.  We stopped at a rest area after about three hours, and I could barely walk because of sitting for too long, but I managed with Margaret's patient help.  We stopped again to get some Chik-Fil-A to bring to the airport and eat, and an Americano from Starbucks.  

We parked in a garage at the airport, quite a ways from the elevator up to the train, so into the wheelchair I went, much to my mortal embarrassment.  We found out the hard way that if you just try to go fast to make it over a bump, it will tip forward.  There were shrieks of laughter in that parking garage, and I was fine, but oh dear.  You can't believe how many bumps there are that make it almost impossible to be in a wheelchair. (I also opted not to bring the footrest things, thinking they would just be more to carry, ec., so I had to have my legs out straight the whole time...good exercise, but not so comfy, and I felt so vulnerable that I would hit my leg against something or someone would ram into me, which did happen in the train...a guy with a huge baggage cart rammed the chair, and my leg lurched forward and wrenched...it hurt for a long time!) (on the way home)

We made it up to the train without incident, then to the ticket counter of Scandinavian Airlines.  We had to check the chair, and use one of theirs', which required a lady to push me.  Margaret came through with me, and this lady just went around the lines!  I had to get out of the chair to walk through the screening, and a very nice lady assisted me.  I told her I was sorry about the way the TSA employees aren't getting paid (politics!  so wrong!), and she was so sweet.  I was able to walk around a bit, but the lady came back with the chair and pushed me to the plane for pre-boarding, which was actually nice...because I had to walk over halfway down that airplane to get to my seat, and it was nice not to be bumped or jostled.

So, during the flight, I got up frequently, so no sleep for me.  I was in an aisle seat, and when it was time to hobble down to the bathroom, of course the turbulence started up.  Not too bad, but I couldn't just hold on to the seats with my free hand because people were leaning back, and they had tv screens, ect...so the big tall flight attendant came along, he took my free hand, and walked backwards all the way down, I was SO embarrassed.  All the rest of the times, I made sure one of my girls helped me.

We got onto the bus, and two hours later we were there!  I was thankful we had that chair, because it was a haul to our apartment/suite.  

I saw so many friends!  The first night, Miss Kaia was awake for like three hours in the night, so we were tired the next day.  But we still stayed up until after three...every night!  We had some laughs, laughed so hard I couldn't breathe, so hard my stomach hurt.  

Evelyn and Margaret and I in the parking garage...we were going up to the sports arena, where there is an ice rink, volleyball courts, ect., as well as ice cream and those yummy Norwegian Polska, hot dogs.  

Miss Kaia, world traveler...she did really well, better on the way home than the way there.

This is almost too personal to post...this is Oscar's mom meeting baby K for the very first time, I did cry.  

Margaret and I at Paint and Sip...

Our friend Joannie in the glasses (she stayed with us, and was SO much fun!), Evelyn, Emily, then on the other side, me, Margaret, Sonja...

Chillin...

Out to dinner in Oslo with this group of ladies...

In the airport on the way home...shh, I brought home a LOT of chocolate...:)

These were waiting for me when I got home...happy anniversary to Paul and I, 42 years of bliss!

I slept so well last night.  My feet were a bit swollen from the traveling, but much better this morning.  My walking is so-so, a bit wobbly, but it felt great to get on that exercise bike.  I got my suitcase unpacked and my clothes washed, mostly put away, and I vacuumed some of the house.  I went outside and enjoyed some nice weather, but the day flew by.  

The trip was made doable by my daughters being so good to me, and pushing me the distances in that wheelchair.  On the bus on the way to the hotel at the Oslo airport, I had on a jean skirt, and must have hit my leg with the poky thing on my cane, that helps with ice and snow.  The bus ride was two hours, so when I stood up and had to walk and then down the steep bus steps, I was struggling, then Emily noticed my leg, I hadn't even felt it!  There was a gash on my shin, with two big streaks of blood running down and soaking into my sneaker lace and sock.  It looked worse than it is!  

(I made sure to wash it up with soap and water when we got to the hotel, removed the sneaker lace and washed that as well.)

It started hurting later, but it seems to be okay.   

We had a nice dinner in the hotel restaurant, sang happy birthday to Joannie, and really had a nice time.  

The trip home was uneventful, but also full of little events: the trips all the way to the back to use the bathroom on the plane, and me getting patted down going through Norwegian security...i he said to stay in the chair, but he had to pat me down.  great.  my favorite.  I traveled in a dress with leggings, he asked if he could lift up my dress, and I said, "No, no you can't."  So, he didn't.  I mean, I could have stood up so he could check out the chair, but instead he put his hands under me and felt all around the chair seat, my goodness, so invasive, but he was polite and respectful, but still.  The other security guy took my cane and sent it through the scanner....I didn't know I never got it back, until Evelyn happened to go through the same line, and found it lying there...!  

So I'm home now, and hobbling around, happy to be home, wishing I could walk better, trying to be patient and trust the process, but mostly extremely thankful for the trip I had, for the hope that I had ignited in my heart from the meetings we went to, God is good.  

So you all have a really good night!

goin' bye-bye on a plane...

Traveling is so much fun, but it's equal parts excitement and apprehension.  It's physically challenging, and I have had some of my worst migraines on airplanes.  (That trip to the Dominican Republic years ago, my headache got blindingly bad, and by the time we were on the bus taking us to the resort, I got sick to my stomach, into my jean jacket...I was too sick to even ask to stop the bus...not sure if I would have wanted to get out and do it roadside with everyone watching, and there were so many stray dogs wandering around...anyway.).   

I had a dream last night that when it was time to get on the plane, the door was really small, and one had to crawl through it, through a tunnel, then the seats were right on the floor, no standing up, we were on the "upstairs" of the plane, in the attic.  It was a claustrophobic nightmare.  Then when I got off the plane, I found out that the downstairs passengers had a pool!  They squished us all in, then had a pool party.  harrumph.

I'm leaving here in half an hour, so of course I sit here for a bit then scramble around at the last minute.  I'm all packed, my carryon can only weigh 17.6 pounds, per SAS website, which is kind of cheap-y of them, you can fit like 30 pounds into one of those bags...the dimensions are right on, and when I weighed the suitcase, it was exactly 17.6 pounds.  But, I still had a bag of coffee, and some candy I'm bringing to Janet.  So I stuffed it in, and if they weigh the bag, I'll just rip open the candy and stand there eating it.  

I decided to bring the compression socks and put them on at the airport.  If I put them on now, I'll have them on for like 24 hours, I cannot.  

Yesterday, Kathryn came over with her little ones for a while, and we had a good time.  Achilles saw me walk across the kitchen without my cane, he stopped dead in his tracks, and said, "Grandma can WALK!"  I told him I can manage a few steps, but I look like Frankenstein, and that started a good conversation.  He also likes talking about the Wizard of Oz, he has an excellent memory and is very smart.  We talked about what each of the characters wanted from the Wizard.  Rhys can write letters and numbers, then Jamie drew "boys swimming".  (He's turning three next week, having his birthday party here when I'm gone!)

So I had a nice day.  We had some really good air fried chicken thighs for dinner, Paul had marinated them in vinegar and spices, they were very flavorful.  We also had a cauliflower crust pizza.  Jonny stopped in for a visit too, so it was a good evening.

Now I need to move it move it to get out the door....I admit to having a little bit of traveler's anxiety this morning...do I have my passport?  yah.  I am all checked in to the flight, i have my hairbrush and my phone charger, and my water bottle...I hate to fill it then get there and have to have it empty, and have to drink it all...I have done that before.  oh, all the things!  I am super thankful I get to go though, and I will have a really nice time...I won't be bringing my lap top, so I won't be blogging until next week, what on earth will you do without me, ha.  Have a nice day, and nice weekend!  

not too long ago, not too far from here...

Did anyone else grow up hearing stories?  My father liked to tell us stories around the campfire.  He also liked to tell us about the stars and galaxies.  He ignored us most of the time, but he was usually in a good mood when we were camping, which is maybe why I love it so much.  (Except for when he was backing the camper in...ugh)

Anyway.  This fine morning, the sun was shining out of a clear blue sky!  What a mean trick, it was only 12F (-11.11c)!  I hadn't grabbed a mitten for navigating down the deck stairs!  I have to hold on for dear life, of course.  Brrr.  To the pool I went, and as I waded down the ramp, the water was nice, a bit warmer than it's been.  

A few people I hadn't seen in a while were there today, one had a few surgeries and was out, another was on vacation.  It's nice to be back in the water, and seeing everyone again.  Getting out of the water and walking back up the ramp is part of the price I pay to be able to move so nicely in that water.  

Home...ahh, home.  I made a hot cup of coffee, put my sweater on, covered up with a blanket, then got a text from Sonja...and yes, I would like to go bye-bye.  Camille and I were out the door in no time, she was driving!  We went to Sonja's house, and got in her car.  Aldi, which was waaaay better this time, but still very slow and hobbly.  I got more brownie mix, a cauliflower crust pizza, some cherry lime seltzer, and a present for Jamie's birthday.  

We decided to go to Marshall's, which was challenging...by the time I got out to the car, I was holding Camille's arm, and my knee was not happy.  But, it was fine once I got in the car, and I was able to go up the deck steps at home just fine.  

So...home again, with an iced Americano from Starbucks, I sat here in my comfy chair for a bit, then decided to vacuum.  I ended up doing the whole kitchen/living room/hallway without using my cane.  I was pretty happy about it, then boom, the knee sort of gave way, but...I did not fall.  But I took a rest anyway.  

My legs are sore right now, all those weeks of not much activity, now getting back into things is not easy on them.  But I am SO thankful!   I am not where I want to be yet, but I'm thankful.  One lady in the locker room today said she felt sorry for me.  for ME?!  Oh honey, I'm doing great!  Don't feel sorry for me!  

I have not started packing yet, although I do have a Target bag with some stuff in it, and some other stuff on a chair...and a list.  

So, I hate war.  Men love it, women hate it.  Having had two boys in the Army, of course I can't even imagine the anguish...and I hate that this whole new military action will have consequences.  But.  Bless Israel, and you will be blessed.  And:  Iran has dealt SO unjustly with it's own people, killing protesters, ect.  Those in power were merciless. They hate America, and cannot have nuclear weapons.  I think this had to be done.  I think it might make the world a better place.  Like him or hate him, he is a good foreign policy president.  

One thing I've learned through the last few years is that we can agree to disagree, and I don't hate anyone.  There is so much division and finger pointing, name calling, like...are you still in kindergarten?   Each of us will stand before God, and our deeds will be judged.  If we judge others, we will be judged by the same measure, so we should fear to do that!  

Anyway, you guys have a good evening, and I didn't mean YOU are still in kindergarten!  I meant when the politicians get into it...ugh.  

leisurely Sunday evening...

Can I just say that I still revel in the slow pace of my lifestyle now, after all those years of hectic-ness?  I remember one year on Mother's Day, I had three or four small children, and Paul took them for a nice long walk with the double stroller, and left me to just sit in the yard and vegetate in the sunshine.  I loved that, loved him for that.  I remember trying to read the Sunday paper when we had lots of children, in fits and starts, usually finished up by the time the next Sunday rolled around.  Life was just busy busy busy.

This fine morning, I washed white towels, then colored towels, then got out the vacuum cleaner.  Paul ended up vacuuming, and mopping.  Shh, he is such a nice guy, but I noticed crumbs he left.  He does things so quickly, but I can't really complain, now, can I?  He burned the cardboard (yeah, we are that kind of rural!), and took care of the garbage and the returnable cans.  

I sliced and cubed chicken breast (a five+ pound package) and marinated it in soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil, and lots of pepper.  I froze some, but put the rest on a baking sheet in the oven, sprinkled with sesame oil.  A bag of stir fry veggies with lots of red peppers, and some fresh broccoli florets on another baking sheet with sesame oil, into the oven.  A pan of jasmine rice, and dinner was underway.  Oh, for a sauce, I used butter, honey, ginger (a lot of ginger!), garlic, soy sauce, some orange chicken sauce, orange marmalade, rice vinegar...mmm.  Char mixed up a pan of brownies, she went with Camille to their friend's house and took them warm from the oven, leaving a few here...which I do not want to eat, ha.

We had our friend Annetta here for dinner, it was so very pleasant.  She left a bit ago, and it's just Paul and I here with Sunny and the kitties.  We didn't have church today because there was a mentors' weekend, and we watched a broadcast of a meeting today instead.  

Yesterday we were bare feet on the deck, this morning we woke up to more snow.  It's cold out, 19(-7.2c) right now, going down to 6  (-14.4c)tonight.   brrr.  I plan to get up and go to the pool...

My suitcase is in my room, ready to be packed.  I have a list (Passport!  Charger!  Plug converter!). I will be wearing my new wool sneakers, even with dresses.  I usually wear my Birkenstock knock-off clogs, but they are harder to walk in these days.  I plan to practice in the next few days, to see if I can manage them. 

Ah well...have a good night!