oh dear!

 Yesterday was going well.  I went to the pool, went to the bank ATM, then to buy a small grill from Marketplace.  (Coleman Roadtrip, looked rather clean, and I really liked the lady selling it.  We got along like old friends.  She couldn't get it folded up, neither could I, but we agreed our husbands would get it figured in a jiffy!  She was a nice lady.)

Then, a quick stop into the Mennonite store, because I was in the neighborhood, and that's where I buy my clear vanilla for baking.  I behaved and didn't come home with a cartload, but I did get some whole milk chocolate milk for the girls.  

Home...I unloaded the grill, brought in the milk, used the bathroom, and left for the small city to pick up some coffee I had ordered, it gets roasted upon ordering.  Then, all by my lonesome, Walmart.  I needed a new grill brush, the other one disappeared in the yard.  Grandchildren?  Anyway.  I want a thicker mattress pad, like three inches of gel foam, for the camper, but they were expensive in there, and it's not exactly a need, it's just a Princess and The Pea thing.  I found some clearances candy, and got a gallon of milk and some pepperoni, then stopped at a local coffee drive through, and got an iced Americano.  Ahh, nice drive home, excellent coffee.

If this is riveting, I'm sorry, some of us just have super exciting lives.  

The problem started with my vision going just a little bit off, and I knew a migraine was brewing.  Then the zig zag at my peripheral started, and I just had to wait it out.  The girls got home from work early, and wanted to go to Target or someplace, did I want to go?  Sure, why not?  

I got ready to go, and felt just so off.  My vision had gotten better, but my ears felt clogged, I had a funny taste in my mouth, and everything even smelled off.  Then I tried to put my two cents in about where to go, and the words just weren't coming.  I felt tingly and strange.  I went anyway, and when we got into Walmart, Kathryn was coming out of Walmart, but seeing her there, I felt like she was far away, can't explain it.  I decided to ride with her, my house is on the way home from her's.  The girls went off to look for the pumpkin creamer they wanted, and we went home.

I started to feel better, and could articulate all I had felt.  I went home, and had some liquid IV, and started reading about migraine symptoms, just to make sure it wasn't a TIA (transient ischemic attack, or mini stroke).  I didn't have weakness on one side of the body, so there's that.  I read that there's a thing called Alice in Wonderland Syndrome that can happen, and that happened.  It seemed like migraine aura.  I only had a low grade headache after, but behind my eyes ached, and I felt tired and nauseous and no appetite, which never happens to me.  

I called Emily, and we reasoned together:  I just had an echocardiogram which did not indicate any troubles or blockages.  My blood pressure is reasonably low.  I had blood work recently which didn't raise any red flags.  I know, a stroke could still happen.  But.  if I were to call the dr., he would want to see me, and rule things out, which means tests and appointments, and my knee surgery would be postponed...all for what is most likely a migraine.  Em said migraines are known to be more like seizures now, than headaches, and that's almost what this felt like.  My brain was low-grade short circuiting.

Of course the next step was to sleuth out what triggered it.  Stress is a very likely culprit, and I did get a phone call from Jolene at the Ortho office yesterday, and we chose a tentative surgery date of September 30.  This could have been it.  Or, that I had cake on Sunday night then fasted all day yesterday with just coffee, like I usually do, but the sugar?  I don' t know.  

The fact is, it shook me.  It shook my confidence to make plans, because if I were driving?  

It's like you get older, and your body becomes less reliable.  When you're younger, you don't even think about your body, you just live your days.  

The bottom line though, is that every single thing is weighed and measured for me, and God has numbered the very hairs of my head.  I will take good care of myself, as my body is a gift, life is a gift, but to be worried and weighed down is really unbelief that God sends what's best for me.  

So that's my battle for today, not to color the future black with what-ifs, and I'm going to eat a good heathy lunch, and get ready for going camping on Friday.  

You all have a really good day now!

cake, a jane austen party, and birthday chaos!

 

A birthday cake for Miss Ruth and Miss Maeve, 4 years old and 2 years old.  We celebrated their daddy Sam's 30th, too, which was yesterday.  I told him he was born when I was thirty!  But, I said, the crazy thing isn't that he was my eighth and I had eight kids when I had just turned 30, it was that I had 9 more AFTER thirty!  :)

Zucchini bread, reciped doubled, baked in a 13 by 9 pan.  With plenty of Ghiardelli chocolate chips.

Sunny destroyed her hedgehog toy.  It was the toy Evelyn gifted her as a consolation when Suri died.

The Jane Austen party!  This is my sister's granddaughter Grace.

Margaret made an old fashioned cake, Cam and I did the cupcakes

Cam's tea box and our tea cup collection.

Lemonades and ice water with lemon

Baguette and brushetta, capresi skewers, grapes, crackers and jam...

The girls dancing...That's Cam with the floral dress and white top, and Char with her tea...Margaret at the keyboard.

Emily in the back, Rhys, Jonny and Rosi, Elise, Anya

Camille, Suzanne holding Ellis, Paul, Jamie, Mariel

Ruth, Jamie, Tenny, Rhys...

Margaret with the birthday cake!

Ruth and Maeve...

Maeve, Ruth, Rhys, Blythe...

Miss Camille.  I didn't get pictures of Josh with Ophelia and Denzel, or Wulf and Tenny, Achilles, Grant, Evelyn and Nate...it was such a good day though.  I baked that chicken that marinated in the sauce for two days, then Nate grilled it, with lots of bbq sauce, and it was so good.  We had corn, and Mariel brought two big bowls of fresh fruit, all cut up.  Evelyn made an amazing mac and cheese, Kathryn made pasta salad.  Margaret made chocolate coconut caramel brownies for Sam too.  I put out the zucchini bread, and some pepperoni, cheese, and crackers before the meal, oh and cheese balls.  The kids love those so much.  Are they even food?  

The girls opened their gifts, and Maeve, two year old Maeve, liked her new socks best.  She had Char open them for her so she could wear the pink ones.  

The day turned to evening, as all days do, and people started packing up and leaving.  There were three visiting dogs today too, Newton, Junie, and Winnie (Suzanne's black lab).  They all got along okay, no issues.  The weather was perfect, absolutely perfect.  Warm but not too hot.   

This week we have some nice weather, but those Canadian wildfires are going on again.  I'm going tomorrow to pick up a new to us travel gas grill, a Coleman Road trip, for $40.  I hope it works well.  Then I'm going, at some point, to look at a really old fashioned couch for a renovated room Emily is doing in her house, she's going to have a library.  Then...we're going camping for the weekend!  

I'm tired now, so tired I can't even get up and go to bed.  I walked almost 5,000 steps today without even leaving my house/yard.  :). (I will have some aches and pains in the night for sure, but oh dear, it feels good to be so tired!). You all have a good night!

one dollar. just one.

 Well, this fine afternoon, Evelyn and I had a quick trip to the Amazon store to peruse the dollar bins.  She was in a semi-hurry, as she had to get back to work.  Time flies when you're pawing through junk!  I did find this shirt though:  

(oops, bathroom mirror needs a wiping!)...but one dollar!  

I also found some other things, totaling ten dollars.  Some Target dolls, for a granddaughter's birthday, a package of five pairs of adorable Christmas socks, and a few other fine items.  Evelyn found a bikini, for one dollar.  And, a cute little basket to put flowers in.  

My morning started off with babysitting for three small grandchildren.  We played with kinetic sand and playdough, and I watched them almost break their necks making forts and jumping around.  They are happy kids, and didn't give me a lick of trouble.  We did have a good time.                                             

I brought them some raspberries and Norwegian chocolate, and we had our snack and solved the world's problems.                                                                                                                                                      

Home for long enough to husk and cook six ears of sweet corn, and pan sear some steak in the iron frying pan, with butter and rosemary to finish.  (It was in the freezer, a half price find from Target a few weeks ago...and it was SO GOOD.)

Out the door right after dinner with Miss Char and Miss Cam, they are having a Jane Austen party on Saturday, and needed refreshments.  Aldi, Hobby Lobby, and Target, all just quickly for what they needed.  We're home now, ahh home. 

It's been a DAY.  I stopped and saw Margaret and Wulf, Tennyson, and Blythe too.  I dropped them off a few donuts and some pants I had gotten for Wulf.  I went in to visit for a bit, they are too cute.   

Tomorrow I am going to the pool, then making the birthday cake and cupcakes.  I bought all the chicken, so that's done.  :)

It's almost bed time, and I am ready for bed.  The weather has cooled off here, 72 or so today, with some much needed rain.  Mmmm, very nice, although I do like the heat too.  You all have a good night!

the farm state...

 ...Did you know that New York ranks fourth out of the fifty states for dairy production, with almost 4,000 dairy farms, producing over 15 billion pounds of milk a year?  New York State ranks first in the US in production of cottage cheese, yogurt, and sour cream.  So.  Soft ice cream here is a big thing, and it's very good. 

...Did you know that sometimes I am NOT busy?  Today, for example, was a quiet day.  The girls went to work, I puttered around.  I vacuumed, did laundry, then steam mopped the floors.  I bleached the sinks and counters, and put some things away. I picked up my car from the garage, it passed the annual inspection.  I read, I did the crossword puzzle. Then I joined Kathryn and Darius and their kids for a nice swim, ahhh.  

Now the girls are home from work, and they're making dinner.  They put chicken breast in buttermilk and pickle juice yesterday, to marinate.  Now it's in the air fryer, and they're making fries, and a chipotle sauce, for sliders.  We bought rolls yesterday, and picked some tomatoes from the garden.

(Yesterday we brought a car load of stuff to the thrift store, which always feels so nice.  It was too nice of a day to dilly dally too long, cleaning out the storage room, but we got a nice start.  It was the only day of the week the girls would be home.  We stopped for a coffee, and to BJ's to get milk.  We didn't get just milk, of course, we got some seltzer, heavy cream, and a bag of Ghiardelli mint cookie chocolate squares.)

We went for a swim, then home.  I was not feeling the greatest and skipped dinner.  I just didn't want to eat.  That never happens to me, ha.  But it was hot out, and I think I had too much coffee.  

This fine day though, all day when I would think about dinner, it would be like a little bubble of contentment:  Char and Cam were making dinner.  :).   I felt fine today, but made sure I didn't overdo the coffee.  

I wrote this earlier, now it is after dinner, and it was good!  The Hawaiian rolls were so good, I had one, could have easily had more.  

Tomorrow is swim class, then maybe I'll get some of the things for Sunday's big birthday bash.  I'm hosting the party here for Samuel, who turns 30, and little Ruth turns four, and Maeve turns two.  The birthday cake has to be pink with strawberries and raspberries on it, as per Ruth's request.  I can do that!  Sam wants bbq chicken, the kind with bones in it, which I totally get.  I will get that and marinate it for a few days, bake it a bit, then grill it.  I did say that I would host the party, not sure I can grill too...there is a lot to getting the house ready for a big crowd, and I love it, but my body doesn't always love it.  Our grill is down the deck steps, and no matter how efficient I try to be, it's three trips up and down.  

Sam said he would grill.  It's his own birthday, but...:). We're also having sweet corn, and Kathryn is making macaroni and cheese.  Cam is making some special cookies, and I'll make cupcakes as well as the cake.  I have birthday presents bought, just have to get some wrapping paper or gift bags.  (I think kids like unwrapping presents better than just taking them out of the bag...)

Summer is speeding by, like it tends to do.  I am not tired of it yet.  I am living in my yearly state of denial, not wanting to even know the date, trying to pretend it's endless.  

We are talking about a puppy.  We want a Black Lab puppy.  I know there are dogs to be rescued, and it breaks my heart.  but.  Having small children in the house so often, I want to make sure any dog we have here is good with kids (it goes without saying that the kids have to be good to the dog too).  So, I would prefer to raise a puppy.  Our experience with Labs has been that they are so gentle with the kids, nothing phases them.  Suri would look mildly exasperated once in a while, but the worst thing she would do would be to get up and move, but mostly she would just sigh and put her big clunky head on her big fat paws, then close here eyes.  

Charlotte Claire and Camille are starting college this fall, but will have mostly online classes the first year.  They say it's a perfect time to get a puppy.  What about my surgery?  How on earth will I be able to help with a puppy!?  I am voting no for now, but oh dear, I am tempted.  

count those blessings!

 Oh, how could you say no to a soft ice cream cone?

Summer, slow down!  We had a busy day here, Sam and Grace were here around noon with Grant, Ruth, and Maeve, then Kathryn came with Achilles, Rhys, Jamison, and Ellis.  Adrian called and asked if he and Margaret could drop their three off, so they could go out to dinner...of course.  I wondered how crazy it would be, but we managed with Wulf, Tennyson, and Blythe.  Jonathan and Rosi came over, too.

I had put chicken in the crockpot early this morning, with seasonings and salsa.  Then I made two loaves of zucchini bread with chocolate chips.  We had cheese and crackers and pepperoni for a snack when everyone arrived, then fajitas with black olives, green peppers (from the garden!), ect.  

My girls are home from Norway, that's why we went for ice cream tonight.  It's fun to hear their stories.  

Char is playing the guitar now, and Camille is doing something on her computer.  It's nice to have them home.  :).  The crickets are cricket-ing, and the air conditioning is whirring, it's quiet in here.  It's been a day, and I'm super thankful for it.  :)

as far as fridays go, well...

 ...not too shabby.  I went to the pool this fine morning, and exercised with my friends.  After a nice hot shower, I headed to the small city, first for a coffee.  One Venti Blonde Roast Iced Americano from Starbucks, and it was NOT good.  It was so bitter.  dang.  Five dollars.  I went to the thrift store, and found a few books, and one cross stitch, which I will show you later, it is still in the car.  

I stopped at a small local place for an iced Americano, and it was absolutely delicious.  

Then, to meet Josh at Ollie's.  Molly was there too, and Kathryn and her little ones joined us.  It was great fun.  

Jamie, that's you in the mirror!

We found some fun things, like new blinds for the guest room, and popcorn, and a bag of Twix bars.  

Home...ahh, home.  Lydia and Ophelia came with me in my car, as Denzel needed a nap, so Molly and Josh headed home with him.  Kathryn and children came over for a bit.  The kids played on the swings, and it was so hot out there, they came in to rest and cool down.  Kathryn got out Bananagrams and that kept their interest for quite a while.  

They colored pictures and played with little things, then went outside again.  Before long, Molly was here to pick up the girls.  I brought Achilles, Rhys, and Jamison out to water the garden.  They all had a turn with the hose, and by some miracle we weren't all soaked.  I let them bring their mama another yellow squash and some grape tomatoes.  We stopped by the front garden bed and picked some mint, basil, and rosemary, and they got to smell it all, and taste it if they wanted.  

They were getting tired, so Kathryn packed them up and took them home.  Jonathan stopped over to get his hiking equipment, and I gave him some muffins:  

They are actually quite good!  They're made from almond flour and zucchini, and have heavy cream, melted butter, cinnamon and spices, (recipe calls for cinnamon, I added ginger, cardamom, nutmeg, cloves, pumpkin pie spice...:)) blueberries, and some have chocolate chips.  The recipe called for 1 cup of granulated sweetener, like monkfruit or stevia or something, but I do not like those artificial sweeteners, so I used a scant 1/3 cup of honey, and they're plenty sweet enough.  I made 30 muffins, so that's not really too much.  (The recipe is by Carine Claudepierre at sweetashoney.co)

Paul and I had our simple dinner, taco salad from the meat I cooked up the other night.  I had mine in corn tortillas with peppers and black olives.  

It's quiet here now, and lovely in here with the AC humming.  I can still hear the crickets and tree toads, and the sky is a gorgeous purple as the sun sets.  I love summer.  I want to grab hold of it and keep it, but it just keeps moving on.  I admire the flowers on my deck, and know full well their days are numbered.  Next year we start the whole thing all over again.  

The girls will be back from Norway on Sunday, and there will be noise and nonsense in the house again.  I do miss them.  I was thinking today that I am so glad we were blessed with those two last girls.  After losing Robert, who was baby #14, I doubted we'd be able to have another, yet Jonathan came along 10 months later.  I lost a baby when Jon was a year old, it was a rough one.  Then Miss Char came along, all healthy and radiant, then the pregnancy with Camille wherein I bled and cramped and thought I lost the baby...for weeks, I mourned that loss...but I was still pregnant all along.  Anyway.  She was a huge-0 gift, a blessing for sure.  

I know now how quickly children grow up and move out, and now there are two left here.  They're both going to college this fall, commuting from home, hopefully having lots of online classes.  I won't hang on to them, or ask them to stay with me forever, no, their job is to get to their own two feet and stand on them, just like their 14 siblings before them.  My job is to help them do that.  

Oh ho, I don't feel sorry for myself.  No sir, I have been blessed beyond comprehension.  I am never bored or lonely, and I love each of the kids immensely.  I have all the son and daughter in-laws, and of course the grandchildren, my heart overflows. 

And shh, Paul and I also have lots of fun together still.  :). 

Anyway, the bathroom is almost finished, and I'm not pushing for any more projects for a bit.  We can just enjoy summer.  

There were three, yes THREE lightening bugs in our room last night...so I just went to sleep.  :).  Have a good night!

just absolutely heavenly...

 Here in the northeast, we are having some beautiful weather.  The humidity is cranking up, so it will be unpleasant this afternoon, but this fine morning, ahhh.  I walked out the front door to turn on the hose, and Sunny came out with me.  A bunny rabbit in the front yard paused and looked our way, Sunny scampered after it but didn't catch it.  Orange Guy was out there too, followed me to the garden.  There is nothing like walking through the grass in bare feet in the summer.  

There are now three zucchini on the counter, and one yellow squash.  How does one justify turning on the oven on a day like this?  Zucchini muffins!   I think I might...low carb, a bit of honey...mmm.

Paul and I are going over to Evelyn and Nate's for dinner tonight.  Last evening, I made some really good taco meat, four pounds of it because the 85% beef was half off at Target.  (I froze some).  We had black olives, green and yellow peppers, some grape tomatoes from the garden all chopped up, and sweet corn.  Paul went out to mow the lawn, and I ate my dinner all by myself, I hadn't eaten all day, and couldn't wait any longer:)

After a nice swim yesterday, I went to Marshall's with Sonja and Oscar.  I found a few birthday gifts for Lydia, and some nice conditioner for myself, super clearanced.  I also bought some lime popcorn to save for one of those nights I simply have to have something munchy.  

Our bathroom project is almost finished, I hope I'm not saying that for years and years!  Paul has done most of it, but has cried uncle on some of the final trim.  The tops of the bead board need trim, and he isn't confident he can do it properly.  It seems like an easy thing, Oh yeah, bead board will be nice!  But, it's so much measuring and cutting and you need the trim and the corner pieces...

Our pool is probably not opening this year.  We have just had other projects, and last night we booked one more weekend of camping, so we're going three more times this year, just long weekends.  

And...I wrote this yesterday.  It's not as if I'm super busy, but the day gets away from me sometimes...I'm headed to the pool now, and then to meet my son-in-law Josh at Ollies with Lydia, Ophelia, and Denzel.  So you all have a good day!