....the empty room....

Can we talk about when kids grow up and move out, leaving gaping holes in mamas' hearts?

When the first few moved out, the other kids would have dibs on the vacated space before they were even out the door. Remember, once upon a time, not too long ago, there were 18 of us living here. One by one, they started out the door...some commuted to college, so they were here for longer. Joseph was married last September, he stayed here until he was 27. We don't need the boring details of who left for what when.

But...they started growing up and moving out. The bedrooms became more plentiful. Sonja has her own room now, at one time there were FIVE kids in there, two sets of bunks and a toddler bed. Jonathan has his own room, too. And Suzanne. And Evelyn, and she's only here on weekends! Charlotte Claire and Camille share a nice big room, Sam's old room has become another storage room, but Kathryn Grace's room...it's empty. She left a few months ago, bringing only what she could fit in her suitcases, to live in Oregon. She got married, and Oregon is her home now.

Her room...with the nice bed set I bought her, her electric blanket, the hanging lantern, her movie collection. It's just empty. Some jackets still hang there, jackets I can just see her in, jackets that didn't make the cut, to fit into the suitcases.

You walk in there, and it just hits you, she's far far away.

She is happy, where she lives. She has a decent job, and lots of friends, and of course she's newlywed, and that's still bliss. So I don't feel sorry for her at all.

I feel sorry for ME.

She was my sweetie little tenth child, she looked like Mary Kate and Ashley when she was little. She was a tomboy teenager, obsessed with the Yankees. She homeschooled the last few years of high school, but she was extremely hard working and diligent. She was here at home doing her schooling, she worked from home for a while, then had a few different jobs, and still lived here, was going to go to college, and commute...then she got engaged...and just like that, she's far far away.

Technology makes these absences easier, of course, it's not like when I was a kid and my mother waited until weekends to call her sister because it was cheaper, a long-distance call was a BIG DEAL. I remember my brother calling COLLECT from the Navy base...a collect call was also a BIG DEAL. Young people today prob don't even know what that is.

Anyway. Kathryn has moved out, and we have an empty bedroom, and it makes me sad.

There are many things that make me happy, however, one is that today, I am going out to lunch with some friends! Some of my friends are older than me (imagine THAT!), and have retired, we try to get together during the day once in a while. Today is our friend Hobie's birthday, so we are once again meeting at the restaurant up on the lake which gives the birthday person the number of chicken wings for number of years, on their birthday. I think Hobie is 62 today:). My brother Bob, and sister Cheryl are going, along with some other friends.

It's a nice sunny day, and Emily, my sweet Nurse Practitioner daughter, is going to watch Lydia and keep a general eye on these other kids of mine. Don't you love how I brag endlessly about my kids? I figure, my blog, I can brag, ha. Em worked hard to get where she is, ten years of floor nursing in a hospital, and lots of years of school. She's such a nice girl, and hey, having a health care provider in the family is helpful, not that the others who are nurses aren't helpful too...

Anyway. Sam's wedding date is coming closer, and we have been busy buying dresses online. I seriously hope they fit and we like them. I actually went out on a limb and ordered a pair of shoes, because I will die just shy of a million deaths if I have to wear my Birkenstocks to a wedding at this nice place...my feet are super picky. They are wide and fat.

Lydia is playing with this little toy Keurig coffee maker I bought. It has batteries, it dispenses water while making a brewing noise. She gave her little Polly-Pocket sized dolls, her "girls", showers with the coffee maker. The water of course went all over the coffee table, but it's only water. And she likes cleaning up messes.

She's singing and wiping up the table.

Our Norway trip planning is in full swing. The train from the airport, the rental car to JFK, accommodations, registration fees, airline tickets, wow, ca-ching. We won't be doing this ever summer, ha. We are super excited about it, but ouchie wah wah it's pricey. I mean in the neighborhood of ten thousand dollars pricey. We have saved up for a long long time, but still have a ways to go, I have to start selling more things on eBay.

I have things to do and places to go...but writing here really helps me straighten out my thoughts. It's my therapy.