congratulations!!! and happy birthday suri!

If you are a senior in high school this year, you've lost your prom and your senior skip day and your class trip, and your graduation ceremony. Our school did an amazing tribute to each of the seniors, visiting each house, handing out a t-shirt, and taking pictures. What you cannot see in this pic: the principal blowing bubbles, a teacher ringing a cowbell, everyone cheering, a firetruck in the back of the procession of pick up trucks, honking and siren-ing.

You also cannot see Paul, clipping on the dogs' leashes and bringing them out with him for the photo. They barked at everyone, Suri squatted and peed right near the nice yard sign, while barking. Lovely. If Sonja didn't die a million deaths, well. You also cannot see the tears that came, as I was overcome with thankfulness for the above-and-beyond spirit, thankful for the goodness in these teachers and administrators.

Tears come unbidden lately, because things are in such upheaval. The latest wonder is the meat shortage. Something about an empty shelf brings up a fear, a vulnerability. Yesterday, I went to FIVE stores, looking for meat. We do have venison in our freezer, and some other things, like a turkey that's been in there for who knows how long. So we're not rock-bottom empty, out of meat, but still. We're admittedly spoiled, and like our boneless chicken breast. Well, FIVE stores, and the only chicken breast to be found was a small package, two pieces, for $2.99 a pound. Two pieces. And with limits on quantities, wow. I did buy some hot sausage, a large pork loin roast (good for pulled pork), and at the fifth store, some ground beef, there were only two tubes of it left at Aldi, I only took one. I also found a package of chicken drumsticks, when Sonja picked one up, it leaked all over, yuck. So as an old lady approached, after us, to get one, I called over to her to be careful, one of them was leaky. She came right over to us, this nice, naive, kind old soul, and talked to us. I felt so protective of her, dear Lord, watch over her and keep her safe.

I didn't take the two younger girls in any stores except for Walmart. We stayed together, and picked out some fabric for more masks, and followed the arrows on the floor. Several other shoppers did NOT follow the arrows on the floor, and at one point, one of the girls made a snarky comment, loudly, but I didn't think that was the right thing to do. After that, if someone came down the aisle towards us, going the wrong way, I very nicely pointed out that it's a one-way. Guess what? Not a one of them realized it, and they seemed embarrassed, and apologetic. I wonder if there should be a sign when you enter, or something. We are creatures of habit, and you can't just put us in a new maze and expect us to find the cheese. I will repeat this too: I think masks give people a very false sense of security. They get too close. Every time I go out, I think, well, I am not going out again for a long long time, it seems like we're testing fate.

But here's something happy, yesterday was Suri's birthday! She turned eight years old!



My evil plan was to do the little photo shoot, then replace the cupcake, really quickly, with a healthier dog treat. But Suri is a piggy-pie, and quick as a flash, gobble and crunch, she ate that cupcake all in one bite. It was so funny I didn't get a pic. Oh dear. Sunny was all jealous.

Anyway, I've been making a few new masks. We had a fire on the deck yesterday. Our weather is unseasonably cool, the high tomorrow is 42F (5.5c), with wind and possible snow showers. mmm-hmm.

Sometimes I get all riled up about things. I do not like the loss of freedom, I do not like how the government is taking the opportunity to be more bossy. I do not like being the ideas being tossed around about the future, here in NY, the governor is in bed with the Gates foundation, and wants to "reimagine" education. The tracking and tracing and mandatory isolation, Okay, I get the isolation part, but there is talk of removing the positive patients from their homes, whether they want to leave or not, so as to protect the rest of the family. ? Seriously. Ventura county California. Our own Gov. has hinted at it too, and I've read of a few times that it's been done. When the powers in charge think they know what's best for people and don't give people a choice anymore, it's scary. I don't some of the simpler mandates, like closing entry to parks by noon (what if the kids have school work to do in the morning?!), limiting parking, reducing occupancy of the beaches by 50% by roping off parking places...it'll be a race to get one, even more than it is now!

Our lives have changed, that's for sure. I do not claim to have the answers, because I acknowledge that this virus is real, and it's bad, and the suffering of the sick, the old, the vulnerable, it's horrific. People dying alone, living out their dwindling time in nursing homes with no visits, having babies without any family visits, sometimes with no spouse even allowed...there is so much suffering. Loss of jobs, and businesses failing, etc., there is no question that these are challenging times.

And in it all, I can't do much. But I CAN pray, and I do. I pray for our leaders. And I work on not getting all riled up, because it doesn't help. God has allowed the world to be shaken up, there are reasons we can't see or understand, but in it all, we get to choose: we can trust Him with all of our hearts and not lean on our own understanding, or we can grow weary and be anxious and unhappy.