wasn't that a party!

The birthday cake...I asked my younger girls what kind of cake Evelyn liked, and Camille remembered her talking about Hot Cocoa Cake.  Well, I hadn't heard of that, so I looked up a recipe.

The frosting is marshmallow buttercream, four sticks of butter (and some shortening), an entire 16 ounce container of fluff, and a half a small jar that we had in the cupboard, because I cannot just follow a recipe.  For the middle of the cake, and the tops of the cupcakes underneath the marshmallow buttercream:  some of the buttercream mixed with half a jar of Mrs. Richardson's hot fudge.  I just beat it up with the mixer, and oh dear, fudgy deliciousness!  The cupcakes were frosted with this, then sprinkled with baking cocoa mixed with some sugar, to taste like hot cocoa.  The cupcakes and cake themselves were from a recipe that called for one cup of hot water, which of course I substituted for one cup of strong, fresh hot pour over coffee, this brings out the chocolate-y flavor. 

I chose the messiest one and took a big bite, just to make sure they were good.  Guess what?  I needn't have bothered.  (The frosting was very hard to pipe, it didn't want to stick to the chocolate layer.)

Random pics...Emily, Blythe, Denzel...Oscar and Sonja, and that's Molly...and Paul

Jon, Nate, Paul...(I am such a good photographer!)

Grandpa giving Blythe a bite of pizza, Emily...

Suzanne with the pretty braids, and Kathryn (with pretty braids too!) putting together Denzel's birthday musical sit and spin.  This led to them remembering how fast they used to spin around on our original yellow sit and spin...

My daughters: Suzanne, Kathryn, Marile, Camille, Evelyn, Sonja, and Marge in the back holding baby Ellis...

This is ten of the eleven daughters!  Suzanne, Charlotte Claire, Kathryn, Mariel, Camille, Evelyn, Sonja, Molly, Emily, and Marge in the back...

And, one with me in it!  Words cannot describe how joyful I am to spend time with my older kids.  I love when they start reminiscing, even though sometimes I am thrown under the bus ha.  

The pretty plates and napkins I had gotten at the Dollar General in the beginning of the summer, just because they were pretty and I knew they would come in handy.

Miss Char and the birthday cake

Happy Birthday, Dear Evelyn!

Evelyn was born 26 years ago, and that was an eventful summer.  The month before she was born, my Evelyn Eleven, eleventh child, we were all packed up to go camping in the Adirondacks.  yes, I was crazy like that.  Emily was 14, Abigail 12, Benjamin 10, Mariel 9, Joseph 8, Aaron 6, Molly 5, Samuel almost 4, Margaret 2 and a half,  Kathryn  16 months...you may have heard this story before, so glaze your eyes over and skim to the end:  Paul went on a boys camping trip in the Adirondacks for the weekend with ten year old Benjy, our plan was he would come home on Sunday morning, and we would be totally ready to go, and head back up to a state park with all the kids.  Never mind that I was eight months pregnant, we got the camper all ready to go.  We were winding down on Saturday night, kids all excited and running wild, when Paul called me.  Back then, cell phones weren't a thing.  So he called me from the Saranac Lake hospital.  Ben fell off a boat.  Me:  What?  Is he okay?  I don't know.  He's in surgery now.  Me:  In SURGERY?  Why?  Why is in he in surgery if he fell off a boat?  He hit the propeller.  Me:  WHAT?  Is he okay?  Is he going to LIVE?  I don't know.  I'll call you later.    Yes, that was the extent of the information I had.  Paul was actually in shock.  Because Ben fell off that party boat they had rented, typical boys shoving each other, in he went, under the boat, hit the propeller. it ripped him up.  They were in a remote area, had to wrap him in a sheet and bring him across the lake to a camp they knew had a phone, then met the ambulance at the other end of the lake. 

I got off the phone and told the kids.  Aaron was bawling his eyes out, kept saying, But I want to go camping!  I was in shock.  14 year old Emily told the kids they could have a sleepover in the living room, it would be fun!  When I went to bed, I brought the phone into bed with me, those were the early days of cordless phones.  I wrestled with spirits, honestly.  I pictured Ben dead, I pictured him in a wheel chair watching the other kids run and play.  I was physically ill, tortured.  My spunky crazy boy, with the freckles across his face....it was unbearable.  But, I prayed.  And every time I had a thought of dismal outcomes, I stopped, and said NO.  I wrestled.  I prayed.  Then, by some miracle, I fell asleep and woke to the phone ringing.  Ben was out of surgery, and was alive.  Paul didn't seem to have many more details than that.  I decided I needed to figure out a way to go up there the next day, and I did....but this is the verse that came to me the next morning...and after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.  (1 Peter 5:10) 

As you can imagine, he was bleeding from everywhere, and it was horrific.  He ended up with an infection from the lake water, and 106 stitches, but thankfully there was an excellent trauma surgeon there, and he had angels watching over him, because those propeller blades caused some damage, but not to any organs or his spine, his hip was messed up, but hitting the hip saved him from what surely would have been fatal, if it hit his tummy.    Anyway.  It was a long slow recovery, but by the time baby Evelyn Joy was born the next month, Ben was almost back to his old self.  He has had issues with his hip, but...anyway.  I do go off on a tangent, don't I?  It's inexplicitly wound up together in my mind, the Ben Boat accident and Evelyn's birth.  

Emily, Paul, Sunny

Suzanne with baby Ellis, Miss Char...

Newton loves balloons...

 Blythe walked around with those pups following her, she was carrying crackers and she knew it...

So back from the tangent, it was a really nice evening.  There was a greek salad with feta, and grape tomatoes from the garden.  There was a crockpot of salsa chicken, with corn tortillas, cheese, and peppers.  There were four large pizzas, and 40 chicken wings. 

Now we are packing up to go camping...Molly and Josh have a campsite with Lydia, Ophelia and Denzel, and Ben and Ashley are already there camping with Anya, Elise, and Declan.  There is a birthday party there on Saturday for Miss Lyd, so lots of the fam will be going for that.  

I have my bag packed, and still have to get some things from the refrigerator.  I have packed in fits and starts, as my mother used to say.  My favorite underwear are in the washer, I need to get them in the dryer so I can pack them.  (What, don't you have favorite underwear?  Why, you might ask, don't I just replace all of my underwear with those favorites?  Well.  I got the two pack of these Hanes briefs (you didn't think I was going to say thongs?), for five dollars on clearance at Walmart for $5...turns out they are really expensive, because first thing I was going to buy more at the regular price ...but they're too expensive. ) So I make sure I keep washing them...is this TMI?  Because camping is special, and I like my favorite underwear...oh dear, don't send me to the loony bin.  

Ah well.  I really should clean this place up more before we go, it was all clean for the party....the crock pot is soaking, the rest of the dishes done, but still some toys, could use a vacuum...it's nice to come home from camping to a clean house.   

You all have a really nice weekend, and I'll be back to blogging on Sunday night or Monday!  

 

have you ever seen the rain? and, a party!

 It's visiting us, finally, with it's dark dreariness, drumming on the metal roof and watering that garden.  It's wonderful.  

Who doesn't love a good party?!  I love planning a party.  We're going camping tomorrow, but tonight, we're having a birthday celebration for Evelyn Joy, my eleventh child.  It was to be at her newly finished/remodeled house, but the guest list was daunting for a smaller home, so we offered to have it here.  (She was a little disappointed because her house is so nice, and it's nice to show your new place.)

So I will try to make it extra special here.  I made a dessert yesterday, don't want to give all the details in case she reads this.  But I have some snack ideas, and meal ideas.  I have nice plates and napkins that I bought a while ago just because they were pretty, so glad I did.  The rain is supposed to clear up before evening, so we can have a fire in the propane fire pit on the deck, and roast marshmallows if we want to.  

The thing I want to do:  get a picture of the girls.  I think ten of the eleven girls will be here.  That, to me, is super exciting.  (Abigail lives in Delaware, she is not coming).   Some times last minute plans work out pretty well. 

One snag:  when we're camping packing, the one table in the dining area is the place.  A stack of towels, hot and spicy Cheez-Its, a jar of peanuts, half a bag of potatoes, my new rechargeable lantern...you remember something, you put it there.  Then it gets bagged up and brought out.  These things cannot be left there for the party, so we'll have to bring them out today.

I look around here and see a million things to do.  Of course vacuum and clean the floors, and dust, and putter and put things away that are perfectly fine until people are coming over.  The bathroom always needs a quick clean up, and and and.  I have to finish my dessert, and am thinking of a trip to the store for ice, and a few other things.  

Yes, I do love a nice gathering, and I am excited about it.

So...we had our fun outing on Monday...we are so lame, although I'm not sure that's okay to say anymore, but we are.  We went to Target, which is always fun with three daughters.  Then to Old Navy, where I found a pair of jeans for $9, and a few grandchildren clothes, then...we went to the diner.  It was a split second, last minute decision, but we went.  We celebrated Sonja K.  She finished her four year degree while 9 months pregnant, I am so proud of her.  She is all done with work now, as baby is due in about a week.  So we celebrated!  They had stuffed French toast and chicken and waffles, and I had scrambled eggs and hash browns, and that thick wondrous raisin toast, which I shouldn't have, but oh it's good.

Monday evening was extremely special, as Benjamin, our son-in-law Darius, and our friend Janette were baptized.  I don't think I could have shed more tears, tears of joy and thankfulness.  Especially to see Ben, big strong capable Ben, who was a challenging teenager, to say the least, but God has been so good and merciful, and hearing Benjamin testify of the life he will live, well.  Is there anything better?

Yesterday Sonja had to bring her car in to get some new tires put on, so I picked her up there and we went to the thrift store.  I found a super nice trike/ride on for the grandkids, for $5.49, she found a few really sweet baby girl things that looked never worn.  We went to Aldi, then for a Dunkin' iced coffee, then home...I had a tri-tip roast that needed to be cooked, it was already seasoned, from Aldi.  I browned it up on high heat in the iron frying pan, then put the whole thing in a 425 oven for an hour.  I foil wrapped some potatoes, then went out on the deck and husked the corn.  oh dear, what a nice meal!

Emily came over for a visit, so it was a nice evening, one of my favorite evenings.  She brought some pasta she had promised Camille, which I didn't know about, or I wouldn't have made so much food, but it's for lunch for them today.  

Ah well.  All the years of toil and tiredness, now I have all these amazing adult kids who are so much fun to be with, and of course their spouses, and the grandkids....no complaints.  

So today I'll hobble around here and make it nice, then when the older kids come over, I'll soak it in, and I will take tons of pictures.  I hope Evelyn is blessed and feels the love and appreciation from her siblings.  She has been so good and helpful to everyone through the years, we all love to bless her back.  

You all have a good day!

closed for cleaning...

 ...my water aerobics class is cancelled until Friday, but we're going camping on Thursday, so I won't be there until next Monday.  I will have to seek out other opportunities to get in the water and move, or at least try to stretch and move "on land".  

Today is a lovely day, sunny and warm, but we need rain.  It rained north of us and south of us, but we barely got a sip.  

Yesterday, since rain was forecasted, I decided not to grill burgers again, as I did on Saturday, but to make meatballs.  Then I got a great idea, make some sauce with all the grape tomatoes from the garden!  Google said it was possible, to slice and roast them.  I picked some green peppers from the garden too, and added fresh garlic and onions. 

After roasting in the oven, draining, and going through the food processor, and adding fresh basil from the garden,it was pretty tasty.  It wasn't enough, so I did mix it with some other sauces, a jar and some crushed tomatoes.  I have never gotten into making homemade sauce because crushed tomatoes and jarred sauce have always been cheap, and so much easier.  But this was rather fun, and if I don't get tons of larger tomatoes from the garden, I might just buy a flat from the Mennonites and make some sauce.

Stealing a picture from Emily...this is Charlotte Claire, my second from youngest (child #15), Miss Camille Anaya, the baby, and Emily Anne, our oldest.  

Another stolen picture from Kathryn, they are just too cute, cousins Jamie and Blythe...

They play so well together.  

Yesterday was a stay-at-home day, made the meatballs and sauce, Kathryn brought garlic bread and some pasta, and we relaxed.  Rhys likes playing matching game, Achilles likes playing Pokemon with a toy pistol, and talking to Uncle Sam.  (Sam was here too, Grace and the kids are visiting her parents).  Jamie is a sweet and funny boy, just a sunshine.  I got my baby holding time in too, Ellis took a nap in my arms, and did lots of smiling when he woke up. 

This fine day, the girls don't have to work, so we're going to do something fun.  What that "something" is, not sure yet.  Sonja is due with sweet baby girl in less than two weeks, and she doesn't work today, so maybe she'll want to do something fun...but I'm guessing after working 6 twelve hour shifts in seven days, something fun might be sleeping in and taking a big nap.

We're going camping again this coming weekend, for three nights.  I wish we had booked for longer, but oh well.  It's so easy to pack when you have a camper, there are still plates and cups and necessities in there.  I just need to bring out clean towels and the food, my bag of clothes, the dog's food, ect., and we're set.  I need to go in there and vacuum out the sand, so we can get fresh new sand all over this weekend.  :)

We do not have sixteen children camping with us anymore, but we have one slobby Labrador.  She likes to go in the water, and she likes to roll on the beach, and she likes to sneak up onto the couch, which I cover with a towel, and try to prevent, but Mr. you-know-who will actually pat the couch and let her up, because he feels sorry for her.  She is not a people.  

Ah well....off I go to get ready for where ever we decide to go today...the girls are waking up...have a good day!

not sick of THIS either!!!!

 

Lake Ontario...so clear and warm in August.  This is only 17 miles from our house.  

I had too much sunscreen on my nose, but oh well.  I was quite happy to sit in the sun after playing in the waves with Achilles, Rhys, and Jamison.

Camille was holding baby Ellis.

This fine morning, I went to my water aerobics class, then moseyed to Aldi, all by my lonesome.  I got grapes, bread, turkey, mini burger rolls, milk, and popsicles.  I stopped for a coffee, then home...ahh, home.  I had to bring in my backpack with wet swimming stuff, and all of my Aldi stuff, ugh.  Paul wasn't home, the girls were at work...it was quiet.  I put things away, cleaned my bathroom, washed some windows and puttered around.  The flowers on the deck needed some water, then I sat out there and put my feet up in the hot sunshine...when Kathryn texted and asked me if I wanted to go to the beach.  Yes, yes I did.  

I found Char's and Cam's bathing suits for them, and picked them up from work.  We spent a little over two hours there, then came home and had BLT's, tomatoes from the garden.  I actually had bacon and eggs, and a bit of tomato, but mmm.  

The girls are getting ready for college, they both bought new computers.  I can't believe how quickly we've gotten to this point, but it's exciting for them.  

I want to say a special thank you to Billie Jo for her drawing, I am the happy owner of some really new comfy new clogs, thank you!!!  

Tomorrow some grandchildren will be coming over, it's supposed to be hot, and a chance of rain.  I'll take the rain!  I'll also take the heat.   Turns out I rather like it.  Next week is supposed to be cooler, and dang, we're going camping next weekend, and yes I'll survive with jeans and a sweatshirt, but ahh, the sundress is my favorite!  I know fall is just around the corner, the leaves are already falling off our poplar trees, and they crunch underfoot when I go out to water the garden, it smells like autumn.  Lovely, but I am not ready to say goodbye to summer yet.

The sun is setting too early, the days getting shorter, no!!!!  Ah well.  

And...it's today.  Grandchildren came over, and now have gone home.  I am tired, but what a wonderful day we had!  I puttered around here this morning, getting things cleaned up.  I washed the couch cover on the "dog couch", and put it back on.  I washed towels, and some of my clothes, and vacuumed.  Dishes, cleaned out the refrigerator, took out the garbage, brought in some seltzer I had left in my car because I had too much to carry in the other day, and put it in the refrigerator to get cold.  

We filled the little pools and got out a slip and slide Paul found downstairs, new in the box, with a $2 price sticker on it.  I had some water balloons for the kids, I held baby Ellis in the shade while Kathryn filled them up.  Margaret and Adrian and children were here too.  I grilled burgers, and sliced garden tomatoes, and onions, and made fries in the air fryer.  The kids had popsicles, and I held Jamie when he got his finger pinched in the gate.  Rhys sat with me and watched "C is For Cookie", by Cookie Monster, and Blythe sat with me and looked at pictures on my phone.

The day went by too fast.  I emptied the pools and hung up the slip and slide, watered the garden (no rain again today!), picked some grape tomatoes and one big nice heirloom tomato.  I washed up the dishes and tables and put away some toys, and wow, I'm old, because I'm tired.  Paul has been gone all day, working on a house we own in Oswego, and the girls have been gone to a music weekend.  

These are the days of guessing and second guessing about my knees and upcoming surgery.  I can live my life in a limited way, taking frequent breaks, putting my feet up, some days aren't too bad.  I haven't heard anything back from the dr.'s office yet, and I'm kind of okay with that!  Procrastination is my favorite.  :).  I wouldn't mind putting it off for a while longer.  

All right, you all have a good evening!

not too long ago, not too far away...

 ...is how my dad always started his around-the-campfire stories.  Perhaps that's why I love camping, my father was usually in a good mood.  He would tell us about the stars and the galaxies and their distances.  He would tell us scary stories, and stories about when he was a kid, and they were poor. 

Anyway, not too long ago, I had small children.  The other night, I had a dream that they were small again.  I was trying to gather them for a photo, and Evelyn was little, with freckles sprinkled across here cute little face, her distinctive blue eyes full of mischief, she was not cooperating.  I said, in the dream, I don't know why I keep telling people my kids grew up, they are all still so little!  

One of my girls was telling me how she set her alarm for six a.m. so she could get up and work out, and unload the dishwasher, but her two year old woke up at 5:40.  Oh, honey, I feel that pain.  When Camille was three, back in 2010, Emily was 25.  Cam was three, Char was four, Jonathan was 6...so things were slowing down, and I had a bit more time...never mind that I had kids 23, 21, 20, 19, 17, 16, 15, 13, 12, 11, 9, and 8...(nine kids getting on the bus every morning!  Nine kids that also got off the bus in the afternoon, wanted snacks and help with homework, and then dinner, every night!...then showers and bedtime and getting out clean clothes for the next day...projects and appointments and new shoes!). But the point is, by this time, I will concede and say I wasn't quite as busy anymore.   That makes 25 years straight of crazy busyness.  Of not having a minute to call my own.  But shh, it was really more like 35 years.  

Anyway.  I still haven't gotten over the wonderful-ness of a quiet morning, of heading off to the pool all by myself, of deciding what to do, and doing it without fifty million interruptions.  This is all mixed up with nostalgia, of course, and longing for those little ones who have grown up on me.  I would do it all again in two seconds flat, no regrets, but ahhhhh...I do enjoy my quiet time.  It hasn't worn off yet. 

Right now, I have a purring kitty on the arm of my chair.  She has been extra clingy lately.  I don't go out to the garden alone, she's always there.  I go out on the deck to water the flowers, she's there.  She keeps pawing me for pets.  She's Old Kitty, she had lots of kittens, and she's an old princess now, she knows we have a lot in common.  She doesn't care much for children though, all the movement and the noise and she gets that look in her eyes, if they bother her, she has no problem taking a swipe at them.  Yesterday, two granddaughters were here, fully warned multiple times to leave her alone, the older one was jumping up and down and patting her and ruffling her fur backwards and she got a swat from Kitty.  Kitty tried to warn her, her mama tried, and I also chimed in, but she didn't believe us.  :).    (Sunny does not swat at children, she just gets up and moves when she gets tired of being bothered, so I make sure the children leave her alone at that point.  Yesterday, she was harassed quite a bit, so I had to put my foot down...poor Sunny!) (They were lifting her ears and talking into them, and lying on her, and hugging her around the neck...okay, enough:)

Anyway.  This fine morning, I went with Sonja to her dr. appointment, baby is due in two weeks!  Then we went to Costco.  Ground beef is $5.49 a pound now, making a package of it $36.  That is a lot of money.  I did get a package of frozen chicken strips, and some chocolate chips, and toilet bowl cleaner, and seltzers, and some of the coconut UnReal bars, for $5 off a bag.  Croissants because grandchildren are coming over on Saturday, and they love them.  Somehow this added up to over $200!  I was careful!  No steak, no prepared foods except for the frozen chicken, and a bag of pierogies for Camille.  ouch. 

Ah well.  I need to go out and water the garden.  We are not getting any rain here.  Just north of here got some yesterday, but not us.  The tomatoes need it!   But oh, the warm weather has been amazing.  I went for a swim this afternoon with Kathryn and Darius and their kids.  I love when it's so hot the pavement burns, and the water isn't even chilly.  Fall weather is just around the corner, NO!  I like fall, but oh the hot weather has my heart.  (It's so dry, the leaves that have fallen off the trees already smell like tea leaves, like autumn....)

You all have a really good day!

i am not sick of it...

 

Ben is a nice dad, a nice uncle...that's Paul and I in the background..and yes, Paul might have been nodding off.

Newton!

Rhys and I being silly...

That sunset right from our campsite.

Being outside all day long is wonderful, each time I think, When I get home, I'll be outside WAY more!  ha.  Paul and I just really enjoy being together in the camper.  This trip, the weather was absolutely amazing, no rain, just warmth and sunshine.  The early morning swims, the late evening swims with the bar of soap, ahhh.  Ben and Ashley came up with Anya, Elise, and Margaret and Wulf and Tennyson, and Blythe, and Sonja and Oscar.   We played in the waves and sat in the sun and the kids dug holes and made castles and went back in to play in the waves. 

The next day, Kathryn and Darius came up with Achilles, Rhys, Jamison, and Ellis.  Nate and Evelyn came up with Newton.  We played in those waves again, Rhys loved it, didn't daunt her at all, getting smacked in the face with the water.  

We had a big sandy campsite, and I only put my shoes on to walk to the bathhouse, and when we went to an old cemetery down the road.  (There was a revolutionary war soldier buried there, most of the other graves were of people who were born in the late 1700s!  Most of them didn't live to old age...)

On our way home yesterday, I was talking to Suzanne.  She had the day off, and wanted to go to the beach.  I got home, checked out the garden (tomatoes are ripening, and there was another yellow squash, and another zucchini!), brought in some things from the camper, and Miss Suze arrived.  We packed up a cooler of snacks and cold seltzers, and off we went, back to Lake Ontario, a different beach.  

We talked and cooled off in the water, and people watched...a chubby little boy named Bently ran out of the water yelling, "Aunt Lena, can I have the rest of the cupcakes?"  Not another cupcake, the REST of the cupcakes.    It was sad but funny.  One little boy did not want to leave the beach, and his mother was not having it.  She had been sitting there on her phone the whole time while he played at the edge of the water without one single toy, not a bucket or a shovel, then it was time to leave and he protested.  She was mad.  She picked that boy up, none too gently, and headed toward the parking lot.  I turned to Suzanne and said, "Don't worry, she'll set him nicely in his car seat."  oh dear.  Believe me, I was saying a prayer for her, (and for that little boy!) it's hard when you get so impatient.  The poor child.  

Anyway.  We're not all done unpacking yet, but I've washed my laundry and we're mostly settled in.  The girls are going on a waterfalls hike today, I'm going to bake something and take a trip to Costco or someplace because we need paper towels.  Paul and I are meeting some of his siblings at a park on one of the Finger Lakes this afternoon, so I thought I'd bring cookies or something...

You all have a nice day!

right before we go out the door...

 a quick post!  Paul has been packing and is taking a quick shower, I just got back from the pool and didn't do as much packing today, so I'm good.  :).  

Every week or so, we go get an ice cream.  Summer is short, life is short, and it's SO good.  This one is a twist, the chocolate is in the back, but it was there.  Now, alas, it's on my waist, but that's okay.  

This is the local weather forecast...getting steamy!

This is for the park on the eastern shore of Lake Ontario...just a bit more tolerable.  

Ah well.  I'm super excited to be going, not sick of camping yet...bare feet in the sand is wonderful.  The sunsets, ahhh.  We don't even have to walk to the beach, it's beautiful from the campsite.  

You all have a good day and a good weekend, I'll catch up on Monday or Tuesday.  

packing and other exciting things...

 

Summertime...ahhh.  The forecast is incredible.  Nice warm nights but not too hot, sunny days.

This though, ugh.  We are right in the middle of New York, up toward the lake.  It's supposed to be better today though.

This is my new grill!  Mine is from Marketplace though, and isn't quite as shiny, but it's in excellent condition.  I brought the grill and griddle in and washed them with hot soapy water.  There is actually a catch pan under those which holds water, to make clean up easier.  That pan was already really clean, so this grill was hardly used.  

Thank you for all the kind words about my migraine episode the other day.  I've read more about them, and it really sounds like what it was.  If it were a stroke, it would have been faster, these aura things move much slower.  Dr. Google is my main man.  :)

I have changed my coffee habits lately though.  I've been drinking the morning espresso black most days, then usually skipping the second cup, then having more in the afternoon.  I am wondering if the black coffee is just more potent, makes me shakier without that cream to tone it done, sounds scientific, right?  That day though, I had a second Americano, but only drank like half of it.   (For the record, the cream is better, so much tastier, but I've been able to lose about ten pounds in the last few months by skipping that morning cream!) 

I've been fasting most days for years now, but who knows?  Maybe that day my body was saying no way.

This week, I've worked hard not to be terrified that it's going to happen again at any second.  This means moving on, and keeping busy, because even if it DOES happen again, what good does it do to sit around and worry about it?  It started with a 15-20 minute vision issue, so I will have some warning.

Anyway.  I am packing to go camping!  The kitchen table is the pile, I have my clothes packed, and some snacks (Jiffy pop!, salt and vinegar almonds, stuff for s'mores, in case any grandchildren visit...), towels, plates, salt potatoes, tablecloth...Our meals are planned:  bacon and eggs one night, burgers with garden tomatoes and salad, then steak and salt potatoes. (buying steak, even for just two people, ouch.  It has gotten so expensive.  But I figure we don't go out to dinner, and this is our vacation.)

Sunny, poor Sunny, she has a new issue.  She is leaky, as in she'll just be lying there with her head on her paws, and pee will start coming out.  Thankfully there is a pill for it, Incurin.  The vet would like to see her on an every-other-day dose, but she seems to start in again when we try that.  She is already not allowed on the furniture, but if we leave our bedroom door open, she loves our bed, specifically my side of the bed.  This fine morning, with packing and all, I left the door open.  She was all comfortable, I shooed her down, and she left a small quarter sized piddle.  Dang.  I had to wash all the bedding.  The sheets are out in the sun, but the huge-0 comforter is in the dryer.  

Did you know that Miss Charlotte Claire and Miss Camille Anaya are both going to college this fall?  Yes they are.  They are hoping to do most of their pre-rec classes online.  Their goal:  nursing school.  Big surprise, right?   (We have Emily (nurse practitioner), Mariel, Aaron, Molly, and Sonja. I think they see their siblings doing well in it, a few of them are working towards master's degrees.). It will be interesting to go through this again.  When your kids are going through nursing school, you ride some waves with them.  As they wait with bated breath for a grade, you wait too.  You feel the sting when they get four of the five requirements for passing, and the joy when they learn and pass and move on.  

This fine afternoon, I'm going to Sonja's dr. appointment with her.  She's due at the end of the month!  Isn't that so exciting?!   I'll be honest though, it's hard to see the kids go through all these things, blessings for sure, but it's not easy.  As I say often though, women are amazing and God has given us a capacity to manage so much more than we think we can.  One of the things I love in life is when we women bond and support each other, lift each other up, give some encouragement.  

Some grandchildren may come over later, not sure, not sure if I'm making dinner for the four of us here, or for several-everal.   

Ah well.  I haven't been out to check the garden in my bare feet yet, I've been on the deck but that doesn't count.  It rained a bit yesterday, right after I watered that garden.  We''re getting tons of little grape tomatoes, not too many large ones yet.  The zucchini aren't plentiful, but we've kept up with the ones we have gotten, the green peppers are best ever, and the yellow squash are tender and delicious.  We haven't even picked any of the kale, the beans were meh, and the lettuce is rather bitter.

You all have a good day, as I can't think of anything else to write about, ha.  :)

oh dear!

 Yesterday was going well.  I went to the pool, went to the bank ATM, then to buy a small grill from Marketplace.  (Coleman Roadtrip, looked rather clean, and I really liked the lady selling it.  We got along like old friends.  She couldn't get it folded up, neither could I, but we agreed our husbands would get it figured in a jiffy!  She was a nice lady.)

Then, a quick stop into the Mennonite store, because I was in the neighborhood, and that's where I buy my clear vanilla for baking.  I behaved and didn't come home with a cartload, but I did get some whole milk chocolate milk for the girls.  

Home...I unloaded the grill, brought in the milk, used the bathroom, and left for the small city to pick up some coffee I had ordered, it gets roasted upon ordering.  Then, all by my lonesome, Walmart.  I needed a new grill brush, the other one disappeared in the yard.  Grandchildren?  Anyway.  I want a thicker mattress pad, like three inches of gel foam, for the camper, but they were expensive in there, and it's not exactly a need, it's just a Princess and The Pea thing.  I found some clearances candy, and got a gallon of milk and some pepperoni, then stopped at a local coffee drive through, and got an iced Americano.  Ahh, nice drive home, excellent coffee.

If this is riveting, I'm sorry, some of us just have super exciting lives.  

The problem started with my vision going just a little bit off, and I knew a migraine was brewing.  Then the zig zag at my peripheral started, and I just had to wait it out.  The girls got home from work early, and wanted to go to Target or someplace, did I want to go?  Sure, why not?  

I got ready to go, and felt just so off.  My vision had gotten better, but my ears felt clogged, I had a funny taste in my mouth, and everything even smelled off.  Then I tried to put my two cents in about where to go, and the words just weren't coming.  I felt tingly and strange.  I went anyway, and when we got into Walmart, Kathryn was coming out of Walmart, but seeing her there, I felt like she was far away, can't explain it.  I decided to ride with her, my house is on the way home from her's.  The girls went off to look for the pumpkin creamer they wanted, and we went home.

I started to feel better, and could articulate all I had felt.  I went home, and had some liquid IV, and started reading about migraine symptoms, just to make sure it wasn't a TIA (transient ischemic attack, or mini stroke).  I didn't have weakness on one side of the body, so there's that.  I read that there's a thing called Alice in Wonderland Syndrome that can happen, and that happened.  It seemed like migraine aura.  I only had a low grade headache after, but behind my eyes ached, and I felt tired and nauseous and no appetite, which never happens to me.  

I called Emily, and we reasoned together:  I just had an echocardiogram which did not indicate any troubles or blockages.  My blood pressure is reasonably low.  I had blood work recently which didn't raise any red flags.  I know, a stroke could still happen.  But.  if I were to call the dr., he would want to see me, and rule things out, which means tests and appointments, and my knee surgery would be postponed...all for what is most likely a migraine.  Em said migraines are known to be more like seizures now, than headaches, and that's almost what this felt like.  My brain was low-grade short circuiting.

Of course the next step was to sleuth out what triggered it.  Stress is a very likely culprit, and I did get a phone call from Jolene at the Ortho office yesterday, and we chose a tentative surgery date of September 30.  This could have been it.  Or, that I had cake on Sunday night then fasted all day yesterday with just coffee, like I usually do, but the sugar?  I don' t know.  

The fact is, it shook me.  It shook my confidence to make plans, because if I were driving?  

It's like you get older, and your body becomes less reliable.  When you're younger, you don't even think about your body, you just live your days.  

The bottom line though, is that every single thing is weighed and measured for me, and God has numbered the very hairs of my head.  I will take good care of myself, as my body is a gift, life is a gift, but to be worried and weighed down is really unbelief that God sends what's best for me.  

So that's my battle for today, not to color the future black with what-ifs, and I'm going to eat a good heathy lunch, and get ready for going camping on Friday.  

You all have a really good day now!

cake, a jane austen party, and birthday chaos!

 

A birthday cake for Miss Ruth and Miss Maeve, 4 years old and 2 years old.  We celebrated their daddy Sam's 30th, too, which was yesterday.  I told him he was born when I was thirty!  But, I said, the crazy thing isn't that he was my eighth and I had eight kids when I had just turned 30, it was that I had 9 more AFTER thirty!  :)

Zucchini bread, reciped doubled, baked in a 13 by 9 pan.  With plenty of Ghiardelli chocolate chips.

Sunny destroyed her hedgehog toy.  It was the toy Evelyn gifted her as a consolation when Suri died.

The Jane Austen party!  This is my sister's granddaughter Grace.

Margaret made an old fashioned cake, Cam and I did the cupcakes

Cam's tea box and our tea cup collection.

Lemonades and ice water with lemon

Baguette and brushetta, capresi skewers, grapes, crackers and jam...

The girls dancing...That's Cam with the floral dress and white top, and Char with her tea...Margaret at the keyboard.

Emily in the back, Rhys, Jonny and Rosi, Elise, Anya

Camille, Suzanne holding Ellis, Paul, Jamie, Mariel

Ruth, Jamie, Tenny, Rhys...

Margaret with the birthday cake!

Ruth and Maeve...

Maeve, Ruth, Rhys, Blythe...

Miss Camille.  I didn't get pictures of Josh with Ophelia and Denzel, or Wulf and Tenny, Achilles, Grant, Evelyn and Nate...it was such a good day though.  I baked that chicken that marinated in the sauce for two days, then Nate grilled it, with lots of bbq sauce, and it was so good.  We had corn, and Mariel brought two big bowls of fresh fruit, all cut up.  Evelyn made an amazing mac and cheese, Kathryn made pasta salad.  Margaret made chocolate coconut caramel brownies for Sam too.  I put out the zucchini bread, and some pepperoni, cheese, and crackers before the meal, oh and cheese balls.  The kids love those so much.  Are they even food?  

The girls opened their gifts, and Maeve, two year old Maeve, liked her new socks best.  She had Char open them for her so she could wear the pink ones.  

The day turned to evening, as all days do, and people started packing up and leaving.  There were three visiting dogs today too, Newton, Junie, and Winnie (Suzanne's black lab).  They all got along okay, no issues.  The weather was perfect, absolutely perfect.  Warm but not too hot.   

This week we have some nice weather, but those Canadian wildfires are going on again.  I'm going tomorrow to pick up a new to us travel gas grill, a Coleman Road trip, for $40.  I hope it works well.  Then I'm going, at some point, to look at a really old fashioned couch for a renovated room Emily is doing in her house, she's going to have a library.  Then...we're going camping for the weekend!  

I'm tired now, so tired I can't even get up and go to bed.  I walked almost 5,000 steps today without even leaving my house/yard.  :). (I will have some aches and pains in the night for sure, but oh dear, it feels good to be so tired!). You all have a good night!