a REAL before and after, but still a work in progress...

It's a thing, to compare pics from ten years ago, because a decade has gone by...so here's me a few weeks ago, then ten years ago:

That second pic was from our first time in Jamaica, our "honeymoon we never took" trip, when the sixteenth child was two years old.

I didn't start to lose weight yet at that point, obviously.

Yesterday was so much fun! Margaret and Wulf came for a visit, and we decided to go out and about a little...

(click on pic)

Walmart is already rather a zoo, I wish my Christmas shopping was all done. I feel so discombobulated (one of my favorite words) this year, but then, when haven't felt that?

To tell you the truth, I am in an all-out WAR against anxiety. I've never really been plagued with worry, but the last few years, oh dear! I find myself getting so worked up about everything! Even if I manage to fall to sleep with no problem, I'll wake up in a few hours, and my brain just starts going again!

Here's what I'm doing to combat it: praying. Talking to God. I KNOW that He sends all things for my very best, but there is still a working out, if you know what I mean...a testing of the faith. I need to be steadfast in prayer.

I also make lists to sort out what needs to be done, and that helps.

Also, I feel like I've spread myself too think for years on end, now I can't seem to manage that anymore. It's like I just start short-circuiting when there's too much on my plate.

I'm traveling out west in a few days, and have not even begun to pack, I need everyone to leave me alone and give me some time to concentrate, so I can pack, ha. I am checking a suitcase, it's only sixty dollars, I was mistaken. I have some baby things to bring for the newest grand baby! Just an FYI: if someone you know is going on a long distance plane trip to visit someone else you know, and you think it's a good idea to ask that person to bring a gift to the other person for you, think again. Instead, get the far away person's address, and mail the gift. The person flying doesn't want to be bogged down with all sorts of things to bring. (That's today's rant.)

I think part of my anxiety lately is that I am flying this week, and though I don't mind the flight itself, going through security hasn't been pleasant for me a few times, now just thinking about it makes me feel queasy. And it makes me mad. I am an American citizen, faithful, loyal, honest and upright, and to be treated like a common criminal just because I want to go bye-bye, ugh. The TSA is out of control. To be patted down like I was the last time, it's just wrong. The fact that so many people are okay with it is ridiculous. I know, being worried about it does not help one little bit, I AM working on it.

The other thing is that I've been having a nagging pain in my side for about a month now, in the liver/pancreas region. It's not terribly painful, sometimes achy, sometimes burning, but it's there, and it needs to be checked out. I have no gallbladder, so it's not that. And you know, Alex Trebek...

I have a dr. appointment on Tuesday. So we'll see. In the mean time, I am alive, and I do not owe Satan anything, so I will trust God and battle anxiety.