she's headed for that bridge...

 ...that rainbow bridge.  Her last car ride.  This is a tearful day, as we had to make that decision that every dog owner dreads...Miss Suri, Miss Tubby Tubster, is going to visit Dr. Eric tonight.  

Many of you have been through this, I know, but it's so hard.  You know it's coming, but is it actually time yet?  Suri has been struggling for a while.  She had her 13th birthday this last week, and had that cancerous tumor removed last month.  She now has a huge growth on her abdomen, a tummy tumor.  She has one on her face that was bleeding last night.  She can barely move, struggles to stand up, then is like a newborn baby calf taking it's first steps.  She hasn't been eating, except for treats.  She still makes the piggy noises for the ham, that's hiding doggy aspirin:). (She is also still an expert at gobbling the ham and dropping the pill). 

Last evening Ben and Ashley and Anya, Elise, and Declan came for a visit, to see her and say goodbye.  Ashley has always been one of Suri's favorites, shh, back when they all still lived in Seattle, they would come to visit and Suri would sometimes actually pee when she saw Ashley.  She would wag her entire body.  So last evening, Anya came in first, and Suri was so excited to see her...You smell like your mother, and I love your mother!,  I said in my most Suri voice.

Then Ashley came in and sat with her, oh the wagging!  She didn't get up and run to the door to greet them, but she did a few barks from her doggy bed, and oh she wagged when Ashley pet her.  

Suri has been the best dog.  There has never ever been a mean bone in her body.  She's been so gentle and good with all of the grandkids.  They've been able to pet her and pat her and pull her tail (not that we've let them, but you know how kids can be!).  Tennyson liked to toddle over to her with his bottle, and lie down using her as his pillow.  She would just settle her head down on her paws and sigh.  

She's had a good life.  Once she got the 24 frosted chocolate cupcakes that were sealed in one of those layered plastic cupcake carriers, got it down from the backside of the table near the wall during the night, unlatched it, and ate every cupcake, including the wrappers.  Then there's that Father's Day chocolate cake, it was up high, but not high enough for Miss Piggy.  She ate 3/4 of it, only because that seems to have been all she could reach.  One time we left the house and left a plate of pancakes on the table, for some reason, there were kids home and maybe they were going to eat them, I don't know...but Joseph found Suri splayed out on the kitchen table, sound asleep, with the empty pancake plate between her front paws.

The garbage can was fair game during the night.  We bought one with a latch, but that was child's play, she simply knocked it down and the whole top came right off, so she could snack.  We had to bring the can into the laundry room and close the door.  A few times the door wasn't closed all the way, and she would go in there and knock it down.  A few times the last person up didn't remember to put it away.  She would feast.  It happened just last week...I got up and ugh, there was trash from one end of the kitchen to the other.  I was actually glad about it in a way, the old girl still had enough oomph...

During the day though, she wouldn't even look at the trash can, no sir, not her, she was the very picture of innocence.  

She woke me up at five o'clock this fine morning, with one loud ARF.  She was lying in Paul's office panting and in distress.  I got her some water, she drank a little, but I knew she wanted to go outside.  She got up and made her way to the hallway, peeing a little along the way, then she was laying down again.  I fed her some doggy aspirin in ham, which thankfully she ate.  Around 5:30 I woke up Paul to help me get her down the stairs, and she went out to go to the bathroom.  He carried her back up the stairs, and now she's alternating between quiet sleep and panting.  

She still loves being pet, and is still so sweet.  It's so hard to know that this is the very last day of Suri.  She's just been the best girl, the best doggie, with her big fat paws and her whole body wags.  Her hearing is gone, and she cannot see so well, but she still loves being pet and patted on the head. 

Up until a few weeks ago, part of her morning routine was to try to barge into my bathroom before I was finished in there, because she couldn't wait for the pets.  Sometimes she got the door open and would be extremely pleased with herself.  She would be waiting outside that door to make sure she caught me for those first morning ear rubs.  Thump thump thump went the tail.  Have you ever heard a Labrador walking down a hallway?  The wagging tail knocking into the walls?  

In a perfect world, one would dedicate the entire day to petting that dog who was on her way out, but Miss Char has a dentist appointment...if we reschedule, it'll be autumn before she gets in.  I also have to buy food for this weekend, and get more cupcake wrappers ASAP, as those wedding cupcakes need to be baked.  (I made three layers of cake yesterday, and who knew our oven racks were tilted? one of the cakes is totally crooked, has to be redone....)

So there is so much baking to be done here today.  This weekend will be a joyous occasion.  When the two emotions collide, oh dear...life goes on, and life is good, but oh my heart, I just can't...

She has the white beard now...

We thought she'd like a birthday party during Covid lockdown...

Sunny and Suri, who was the best at Labrador style sitting.

This picture with Evelyn, that face!  

It's hard to see her expression, but that face!

Part black bear?

This is going to be so hard, to camp with just Sunny...half the fun of retrieving that stick was fighting over who got to bring it back to shore, 99% of the time they shared the job.

Who, me?

Suri, the cinnamon donut dog, loved rolling in that sand when she was wet.  

Sunny is going to be a bit lost for a while...we all are.  There is just so much emotion in this decision.  We've talked and reasoned and postponed, but it honestly feels selfish to put it off anymore.  She's not going to get any better, so why wait until she can't get up at all?  Or until she falls down the stairs and gets really hurt?  She's just agitated and can't seem to get comfortable.  The cancer very well could have spread into the lungs, or other places, but we don't see the benefit in more poking and prodding. 

You give your entire heart to a dog.  You love them completely, adore them, talk to them, sing them songs, and you know that half the family sings songs about Suri...Mariel says she has the cutest face on the planet.  A dog is always happy to see you, makes you feel loved and adored.  When that dog comes up to your chair and puts their head on your lap, and wags, well there's nothing like it!  When you come in the door, you're royalty, all the barking and wagging and excitement!  It makes life full and rich and good, and you think how brilliant God is, how kind and merciful, to create man's best friends...

No wonder we're so broken when we have to say goodbye.