It is lovely out today. Chilly and autumn-like, 59 degrees. I walked down the road after driving Sam to work, and I thought about the next few days. Tomorrow I have to drive Paul to work too, because we are going to one of his co-workers retirement party, this way I can just pick Paul up from work and he won't have to drive all the way home to get me. I also have to bring Camille to visit her classroom tomorrow. She has to bring her crayons and glue sticks and her little nap pad, and put it in her little cubby. wah.
Friday it is going to be hot, 94 degrees. I'm thinking Beach. Saturday: our first event at the Carrier Dome. Our youth aged kids, Emily and Abigail and not Ben because he is far far away, and Mirielle, and Joseph, and Aaron, and Mali, and Samuel, and Margaret, and Kathryn, and Evelyn..will be at the youth conference. So either my sister or my niece Katie will watch the six kids who are under youth age, so Paul and I can work at the Dome.
Then on Monday Paul and I, plus all of our youth aged kids, are invited to Ottowa, Canada, for the opening feast - the church there has a new meeting hall. Abigail determined she would get too tired to go, so she is going to help with the kids here on Monday. So...I have to plan meals. I have to plan what I am going to wear tomorrow. And we still need school supplies. So today, we are going shopping. I have to bring Sonja and Jonathan to Susan's house, they want to play with the twins and William, and are spending the night. I hope they behave and don't fight, and are more of a blessing than a curse for Susan, ha. Then I have to pick up Sam in the afternoon, after shopping with Margaret and Kathryn and Suzanne and the princesses.
Phew. I want to stay home. I started cleaning my room yesterday, and want to finish. Not really, I would rather someone else do it for me, or a magic wand would be nice. I threw away lots of giant skirts and horrid shirts, and old stretched out bathing suits. I threw away big baggy underwear because there are days I find myself wearing them, and they actually fall down. I threw away my lovely bra collection. I had a certain size, a certain style, and I had like ten in different colors. They got too big. Just too big to wear anymore. wah. Now I am not so certain which size I wear, or what style suits me. I know, poor me, right? But it was hard to ditch them!
Well, time to move it move it.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
our new dishwasher....
"has a lock on it, so no one steals our dishes." Camille Anaya, age four.
She is having a popsicle for breakfast. She asked, I said Yes. Why not? Summer is almost over.
Kittens are heavenly. They are curled up together on the couch. They are just all sweet and fuzzy and innocent. Soon we shall start them on kitten chow and get them going in the litter box....then before we know it, we'll be saying goodbye to them. Their mama will be going to visit the vet, so we don't have another litter of kittens.
My morning has not been uneventful. Sweet little Suri can be a monster. She pooped on and near her newspapers last night. Not once, not twice, but FIVE piles of poop. Two puddles of pee. Dang, who elected ME as the Puppy Janitor? I am very thankful for disinfectant spray and paper towels.
She also got into the can of compost stuff....she chowed on corn cobs. She must have been playing with them too, because there was corn all over the floor near the door.
I suppose the answer would be to put her in that crate, whining or not, and get up in the night and take her out to potty when she barks...
It is a good thing she is so cute.
Anyway. I drove Samuel to work because his bike is acting up. I do not recommend buying bikes from Wal-Mart. Complete and total Made In China junk. We bought two bikes there...one, the pedals fell off. The other one, the tire popped, not just the tube, the whole tire. The gears get stuck.
So I drove him, meaning I had to get up at a bit after six am.
The princesses are having fun with the dishwasher box. They made purple curtains and taped them to the windows their sister cut out for them. There is like a half of a load of clean towels on the bottom to make it comfy. Yesterday they were fighting so much about it, I just took it outside and said, "fight out here." They were friends again pretty quickly. I mean, I am not going to referee every little disagreement because it makes a huge-er deal out of things than necessary.
The box is back in the living room now. Looks lovely.
Last night's dinner was very yummy. It was raining out, so I baked the marinated chicken breast. It wasn't as good as grilled, but it was good. We had corn on the cob, and a huge salad with garden tomatoes.
After dinner, Paul was finishing up the new dishwasher installation, and Joe and Aaron were cleaning up dinner. I decided to go for a walk, even though it was sprinkling out. Sam volunteered to go with me. We walked a few miles, talking about important things like his weekend camping trip and World War II. It was dark when we got home, I was glad Sam was with me.
Ah well, time to get moving.
She is having a popsicle for breakfast. She asked, I said Yes. Why not? Summer is almost over.
Kittens are heavenly. They are curled up together on the couch. They are just all sweet and fuzzy and innocent. Soon we shall start them on kitten chow and get them going in the litter box....then before we know it, we'll be saying goodbye to them. Their mama will be going to visit the vet, so we don't have another litter of kittens.
My morning has not been uneventful. Sweet little Suri can be a monster. She pooped on and near her newspapers last night. Not once, not twice, but FIVE piles of poop. Two puddles of pee. Dang, who elected ME as the Puppy Janitor? I am very thankful for disinfectant spray and paper towels.
She also got into the can of compost stuff....she chowed on corn cobs. She must have been playing with them too, because there was corn all over the floor near the door.
I suppose the answer would be to put her in that crate, whining or not, and get up in the night and take her out to potty when she barks...
It is a good thing she is so cute.
Anyway. I drove Samuel to work because his bike is acting up. I do not recommend buying bikes from Wal-Mart. Complete and total Made In China junk. We bought two bikes there...one, the pedals fell off. The other one, the tire popped, not just the tube, the whole tire. The gears get stuck.
So I drove him, meaning I had to get up at a bit after six am.
The princesses are having fun with the dishwasher box. They made purple curtains and taped them to the windows their sister cut out for them. There is like a half of a load of clean towels on the bottom to make it comfy. Yesterday they were fighting so much about it, I just took it outside and said, "fight out here." They were friends again pretty quickly. I mean, I am not going to referee every little disagreement because it makes a huge-er deal out of things than necessary.
The box is back in the living room now. Looks lovely.
Last night's dinner was very yummy. It was raining out, so I baked the marinated chicken breast. It wasn't as good as grilled, but it was good. We had corn on the cob, and a huge salad with garden tomatoes.
After dinner, Paul was finishing up the new dishwasher installation, and Joe and Aaron were cleaning up dinner. I decided to go for a walk, even though it was sprinkling out. Sam volunteered to go with me. We walked a few miles, talking about important things like his weekend camping trip and World War II. It was dark when we got home, I was glad Sam was with me.
Ah well, time to get moving.
Monday, August 27, 2012
yeah, we have a lot of kids....
I just read one of those cute little articles about having a large family. "You know you have a lot of kids when they won't fit on one couch....when you can't do color coded toothbrushes because there aren't enough colors...when you have too many to even get the "family rate"...." I laughed because our kids don't fit on TWO couches.
Anyway, there are days when I wonder why my life is still so busy - my youngest child will be five years old in November! It could be kittens and the puppy, but I think it is because there are still 12 kids living at home. The oldest three here commute to college (Mali is in the dorm). They are pretty self-sufficient. I don't ask anything of them during the school year because they are so busy. They will help out when they can, they are good kids, but they don't do regular daily stuff for me. Samuel, Margaret and Kathryn will be in high school this year. Then Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja will be in middle school. So all those kids will be First Trip kids, meaning they get on the bus an hour earlier than the Second Trip Kids, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, and Camille. wah, Camille. Anyway....
The day will be quiet, but the work will still be plentiful. I am hoping to use my time wisely. I have ideas about meal planning, and getting more organized. hmm, perhaps. Once those kids get off the bus in the afternoon though, it is very very busy. Afternoon snacks, homework, listening about their days, saying No T.V. now, reminding them where their backpacks go. Then dinner, which will be properly planned, of course...
I just took a Puppy Break. I already took her outside this morning at 7, then again when I got back from my walk at 8:30. She decided she had to pee again, so she squatted in the middle of the living room and started...I told her No, Outside...and took her out immediately...she finished out there, I patted her head and praised her, ran around with her for a few minutes, then came in and cleaned up the puddle. Slap me silly if I ever want another puppy.
One good thing about having a puppy is this: it gets me outside. Several times a day. But it is a good thing, being outside. Going up and down the steps....when we got Rosie, I lost 11 pounds those first few months. That was a few years before I began my New Lifestyle, aka Diet, so I don't count those pounds when I say I lost 60something pounds.
The thing about announcing I was going to lose forty pounds? Well, I do not know exactly what happened, but I am now three pounds OVER my lowest weight. (Lowest since I started this thing, I was of course lighter several years ago...123 in high school...wah). It is Not Fair, this new metabolism I have since losing some weight. I have to count those almonds. If I have popcorn, it has to be just a cup or two, not Having The Bowl On My Lap. The statistics are against us poor people who have struggled so hard to lose our extra pounds. I do not want my pounds back. I am not even ready to be in maintenance mode, I want to lose more, and it is so very difficult. So....this is my life. Forever, or however long I live anyway, this is it. There is no going back, no giving up. It is obviously preferable to the alternative, which is gaining it all back plus probably more, if I went back to my old habits. So I shall fight this fight, make good choices...and when I slip up, I will not give up.
There, I am re-encouraged.
Okay...Afghanistan. What a mess. The Afghan Army soldiers turning on the U.S. and NATO troops...it is ridiculous to think they can be trusted. This year has been much deadlier than last year. I guess NATO has suggested that soldiers carry loaded guns always when on bases....what a nice way to live, so relaxing. I will be glad when my son is back home, back on U.S. soil....but even gladder when the rest of them are back home too. I totally support our guys, but have serious questions about what good it is for them to be over there....
Well, it is a fine Monday morning. I wish I could say we are staying home, but alas I promised Miss Evelyn a trip to the library. She only has a few days to gorge on books...
The kittens are being too cute. They pounce and and bat at each other...prance around and somersault, leap into the air...rabbit kick each other...I could play with them all day.
Anyway, there are days when I wonder why my life is still so busy - my youngest child will be five years old in November! It could be kittens and the puppy, but I think it is because there are still 12 kids living at home. The oldest three here commute to college (Mali is in the dorm). They are pretty self-sufficient. I don't ask anything of them during the school year because they are so busy. They will help out when they can, they are good kids, but they don't do regular daily stuff for me. Samuel, Margaret and Kathryn will be in high school this year. Then Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja will be in middle school. So all those kids will be First Trip kids, meaning they get on the bus an hour earlier than the Second Trip Kids, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, and Camille. wah, Camille. Anyway....
The day will be quiet, but the work will still be plentiful. I am hoping to use my time wisely. I have ideas about meal planning, and getting more organized. hmm, perhaps. Once those kids get off the bus in the afternoon though, it is very very busy. Afternoon snacks, homework, listening about their days, saying No T.V. now, reminding them where their backpacks go. Then dinner, which will be properly planned, of course...
I just took a Puppy Break. I already took her outside this morning at 7, then again when I got back from my walk at 8:30. She decided she had to pee again, so she squatted in the middle of the living room and started...I told her No, Outside...and took her out immediately...she finished out there, I patted her head and praised her, ran around with her for a few minutes, then came in and cleaned up the puddle. Slap me silly if I ever want another puppy.
One good thing about having a puppy is this: it gets me outside. Several times a day. But it is a good thing, being outside. Going up and down the steps....when we got Rosie, I lost 11 pounds those first few months. That was a few years before I began my New Lifestyle, aka Diet, so I don't count those pounds when I say I lost 60something pounds.
The thing about announcing I was going to lose forty pounds? Well, I do not know exactly what happened, but I am now three pounds OVER my lowest weight. (Lowest since I started this thing, I was of course lighter several years ago...123 in high school...wah). It is Not Fair, this new metabolism I have since losing some weight. I have to count those almonds. If I have popcorn, it has to be just a cup or two, not Having The Bowl On My Lap. The statistics are against us poor people who have struggled so hard to lose our extra pounds. I do not want my pounds back. I am not even ready to be in maintenance mode, I want to lose more, and it is so very difficult. So....this is my life. Forever, or however long I live anyway, this is it. There is no going back, no giving up. It is obviously preferable to the alternative, which is gaining it all back plus probably more, if I went back to my old habits. So I shall fight this fight, make good choices...and when I slip up, I will not give up.
There, I am re-encouraged.
Okay...Afghanistan. What a mess. The Afghan Army soldiers turning on the U.S. and NATO troops...it is ridiculous to think they can be trusted. This year has been much deadlier than last year. I guess NATO has suggested that soldiers carry loaded guns always when on bases....what a nice way to live, so relaxing. I will be glad when my son is back home, back on U.S. soil....but even gladder when the rest of them are back home too. I totally support our guys, but have serious questions about what good it is for them to be over there....
Well, it is a fine Monday morning. I wish I could say we are staying home, but alas I promised Miss Evelyn a trip to the library. She only has a few days to gorge on books...
The kittens are being too cute. They pounce and and bat at each other...prance around and somersault, leap into the air...rabbit kick each other...I could play with them all day.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
sunday night quiet....
It was another busy day here in Busytown. With three kittens and a Mama Kitty residing in the living room, with a puppy who doesn't bother them at all since Mama has hissed at her a few times, there is sweetness and sometimes a tiny bit of chaos. The kitties are curled up on the floor with Mama right now, all quiet. Whoever takes one of these kittens will be lucky - they are used to people. They remind me of the book, "Are You My Mother?"....the earnest way they peer into my face.
After church this morning, I dropped the princesses off at their friend/cousin Danielle's house for a tea-party birthday party. Home to switch the big van for the truck, then on to...the Chinese buffet with Evelyn and Suze, being joined by Abigail, Mali, Kathryn, and Sonja. Why did we go there? Apparently I promised them I would take them there sometime this summer.....and summer is almost over. So I gave in. By the time we pulled up at the restaurant, I was glad I had given in to them, and Evelyn said she was glad she had begged me.
Our fortune cookies: Suze's said, "Seek advice from you mother, she is wise." Suze said, "yeah, because she told me to make a volleyball out of plastic bags." True, I did. Long story. Anyway, my fortune had Mali and Abigail falling out of their chairs. We all laughed so hard our stomachs hurt and the boys at the next table were telling us to Shut Up. It said, "You may be hungry soon. Order take-out now." ha. As if we would be hungry after eating at the all-you-can-eat buffet...I don't know now why it was so hilarious, but it was.
Then...off to the grocery store for a can of coffee, a watermelon ($2.99!), some cherries, and a TimmyHo's coffee for me. Then...to Sear's to buy: a new dishwasher!!! We have been handwashing for months now, and when we let it slip, it takes forever to get them all washed. We usually keep up, and I don't really mind washing them....but. It will be SO nice to load them all in and get them washed at once again. I was supposed to get the $299 model, but I had a coupon for fifty bucks off an appliance priced $300 or more....so I got the $359 one for $309...it has the stainless steel front like the stove and fridge. I hope it works well and lasts long. We have a new water-softening system in, and Paul is going to put in a small filter on the hot water pipe that feeds it, so the hard water will not clog it up and kill it.
Mali, Kathryn, and I stopped to visit Paul's dad on the way home. He had a grand mal seizure last week and spent a few days in the hospital. He can no longer drive, and it is hard for him. He was sitting there on his front porch watching the cars go by. He was glad for the company, and we enjoyed our visit with him. Paul had spent the previous day with him, and he told me how much he appreciated it. Then his mom got home, so we stayed a bit longer to talk to her. They are getting old but aging so gracefully. They just seem more humble, more thankful...and I really like being with them.
Home again home again, jiggety jig. I put my suit on and jumped in the pool. It was 86 degrees out, and humid. Then....over to pick up the princesses from their party. They had too much fun, Camille only cried for me once, and had one accident, opps. Sorry, Kim! They came home, had a nice warm bath, and were tucked in before 9 o'clock.
Mali has been home for the weekend from college, her clinicals haven't started yet. She took Margaret, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja over to where Jonathan has been, at their cousin's house (Sebastian and Linnea and William), to watch a movie. They are on their way home now, so my quiet will be invaded.
My three big boys, Joseph, Aaron, and Samuel, are back from their weekend camping trip in the Adirondacks. The van smelled horrible from all the boys that rode in there. Girls just don't stink up a van like boys do.
One more week of vacation before school starts...I am hoping it will be a long long week. I want to go to the beach, to sit around by the pool, enjoy the kids, just soak them up. For me, the beginning of school is actually physically painful. I cannot stand it. I cannot bear it. The thought of Miss Camille getting on that bus: I can't even think about it. Everytime I start to, I just push it away. I know, I have to grow up and deal...but. I don't want her to go yet. Perhaps she won't want to, and I can keep her another year. But I want Char, too, and Jonny...wah. I hate school. Hate it. It steals my kids from me.
The house....oh, the house....let's just say that tomorrow, I will have my work cut out for me. And since my kids are still on their slightly nocturnal schedule, I will be on my own for a few hours before they get up to help me in the morning. The college kids will be leaving, and I will drive Samuel, then ugh, the work. The new dishwasher isn't hooked up yet, and there ARE dishes to wash. The floors, which were swept today, need it again. Laundry, always. Counters, I know they are under that stuff. ugh, and ugh. But not the end of the world. As long as no one drops in until at least noon.
I am tired tonight. I had a headache-y day yesterday. I was out working in the yard for a few hours in the sun, (dehydration?), had a piece of hot sausage for dinner (nitrates?), and hot tea in the evening (too much caffeine?). I took an evening swim, and my head was pounding...went to bed with a headache. Never ever do that, I told myself later. By the middle of the night, I was in agony. Pounding and pounding, nauseaus, blah. I took four ibuprofen. Didn't even touch the pain. Every time I so much as wiggled my pinkie, I almost threw up. Two more ibuprofen, lots of water. Finally!!! - I finally got some relief and fell back to sleep. When I woke up at 9a.m, my first thought was, "I am gonna sleep all day." Then I remembered Danielle's birthday party, and that I had to rummage through my present closet, wrap the gifts, ect....and then there was church, can't miss that....blah. I have gone all day with that wrung-out feeling that follows those headaches. I feel like I could crawl into bed and sleep for days....but, Sam needs his ride at 6:45 a.m. Perhaps I will feel like a million bucks tomorrow. Now, I shall exercise some grown-up-ness and go get into bed instead of reveling in the quiet...ha, they all came in and there was a squabble about using the bathrooms...wait, two or three squabbles...
After church this morning, I dropped the princesses off at their friend/cousin Danielle's house for a tea-party birthday party. Home to switch the big van for the truck, then on to...the Chinese buffet with Evelyn and Suze, being joined by Abigail, Mali, Kathryn, and Sonja. Why did we go there? Apparently I promised them I would take them there sometime this summer.....and summer is almost over. So I gave in. By the time we pulled up at the restaurant, I was glad I had given in to them, and Evelyn said she was glad she had begged me.
Our fortune cookies: Suze's said, "Seek advice from you mother, she is wise." Suze said, "yeah, because she told me to make a volleyball out of plastic bags." True, I did. Long story. Anyway, my fortune had Mali and Abigail falling out of their chairs. We all laughed so hard our stomachs hurt and the boys at the next table were telling us to Shut Up. It said, "You may be hungry soon. Order take-out now." ha. As if we would be hungry after eating at the all-you-can-eat buffet...I don't know now why it was so hilarious, but it was.
Then...off to the grocery store for a can of coffee, a watermelon ($2.99!), some cherries, and a TimmyHo's coffee for me. Then...to Sear's to buy: a new dishwasher!!! We have been handwashing for months now, and when we let it slip, it takes forever to get them all washed. We usually keep up, and I don't really mind washing them....but. It will be SO nice to load them all in and get them washed at once again. I was supposed to get the $299 model, but I had a coupon for fifty bucks off an appliance priced $300 or more....so I got the $359 one for $309...it has the stainless steel front like the stove and fridge. I hope it works well and lasts long. We have a new water-softening system in, and Paul is going to put in a small filter on the hot water pipe that feeds it, so the hard water will not clog it up and kill it.
Mali, Kathryn, and I stopped to visit Paul's dad on the way home. He had a grand mal seizure last week and spent a few days in the hospital. He can no longer drive, and it is hard for him. He was sitting there on his front porch watching the cars go by. He was glad for the company, and we enjoyed our visit with him. Paul had spent the previous day with him, and he told me how much he appreciated it. Then his mom got home, so we stayed a bit longer to talk to her. They are getting old but aging so gracefully. They just seem more humble, more thankful...and I really like being with them.
Home again home again, jiggety jig. I put my suit on and jumped in the pool. It was 86 degrees out, and humid. Then....over to pick up the princesses from their party. They had too much fun, Camille only cried for me once, and had one accident, opps. Sorry, Kim! They came home, had a nice warm bath, and were tucked in before 9 o'clock.
Mali has been home for the weekend from college, her clinicals haven't started yet. She took Margaret, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja over to where Jonathan has been, at their cousin's house (Sebastian and Linnea and William), to watch a movie. They are on their way home now, so my quiet will be invaded.
My three big boys, Joseph, Aaron, and Samuel, are back from their weekend camping trip in the Adirondacks. The van smelled horrible from all the boys that rode in there. Girls just don't stink up a van like boys do.
One more week of vacation before school starts...I am hoping it will be a long long week. I want to go to the beach, to sit around by the pool, enjoy the kids, just soak them up. For me, the beginning of school is actually physically painful. I cannot stand it. I cannot bear it. The thought of Miss Camille getting on that bus: I can't even think about it. Everytime I start to, I just push it away. I know, I have to grow up and deal...but. I don't want her to go yet. Perhaps she won't want to, and I can keep her another year. But I want Char, too, and Jonny...wah. I hate school. Hate it. It steals my kids from me.
The house....oh, the house....let's just say that tomorrow, I will have my work cut out for me. And since my kids are still on their slightly nocturnal schedule, I will be on my own for a few hours before they get up to help me in the morning. The college kids will be leaving, and I will drive Samuel, then ugh, the work. The new dishwasher isn't hooked up yet, and there ARE dishes to wash. The floors, which were swept today, need it again. Laundry, always. Counters, I know they are under that stuff. ugh, and ugh. But not the end of the world. As long as no one drops in until at least noon.
I am tired tonight. I had a headache-y day yesterday. I was out working in the yard for a few hours in the sun, (dehydration?), had a piece of hot sausage for dinner (nitrates?), and hot tea in the evening (too much caffeine?). I took an evening swim, and my head was pounding...went to bed with a headache. Never ever do that, I told myself later. By the middle of the night, I was in agony. Pounding and pounding, nauseaus, blah. I took four ibuprofen. Didn't even touch the pain. Every time I so much as wiggled my pinkie, I almost threw up. Two more ibuprofen, lots of water. Finally!!! - I finally got some relief and fell back to sleep. When I woke up at 9a.m, my first thought was, "I am gonna sleep all day." Then I remembered Danielle's birthday party, and that I had to rummage through my present closet, wrap the gifts, ect....and then there was church, can't miss that....blah. I have gone all day with that wrung-out feeling that follows those headaches. I feel like I could crawl into bed and sleep for days....but, Sam needs his ride at 6:45 a.m. Perhaps I will feel like a million bucks tomorrow. Now, I shall exercise some grown-up-ness and go get into bed instead of reveling in the quiet...ha, they all came in and there was a squabble about using the bathrooms...wait, two or three squabbles...
Friday, August 24, 2012
don't wish your life away....
This is now. This is life. Not tomorrow, not next year. Only today. Fat, messy house, things to do...this is my life. Am I making the most of it? Grabbing those moments? Hugging those little girls, engaging them in conversation, praising the older kids and talking to them instead of just saying, "you left your mug on the counter with the tea bag in it AGAIN...."?
I got up early this morning even though Sam got in all of his 30 hours of work already this week and didn't need a ride. I heard Suri whining, so I got up and took her outside. Then I sat on the floor with kittens for a while, what joy! They are just so stupid and sweet. Suri is afraid of them. She would come up to me on one side and let me pet her, then tentatively sniff a kitten, then back away. I think it is because Mama Kitty has hissed at her a few times. Mama does not want the kittens in the kids' room though, she brings them back into the living room by the scruffs of their necks. She is a social kitty, and wants these kittens in here. Do I mind? ha. I am having the time of my life. But sadly, they have to be given away in a few weeks. I am sad because I know I am finally growing up...because I know we don't need to keep one.
So this morning I am happy and thankful. There are so many things to be thankful for!!!!
1. Food. The kids get up and wander into the kitchen. There is cereal, bread for toast, bananas, orange juice, milk, oatmeal. That is nothing to take for granted.
2. Charlotte Claire and Camille. They have been awake in their room for a while, but they play in there together, I can hear them laughing. They are so lucky to have each other!
3. My husband. We aren't always on the same wavelenghth, and I sometimes think he doesn't appreciate me enough, sniff sniff, but. I love him more and more, and he loves me. We still have that spark, and I must say it has gotten better and better, and that is all I am gonna say about that.
4. God. Yes, this one should come first, because from Him all blessings come. I am thankful that He has had mercy on me, and helps me straighten out my thoughts. "We are hard pressed on ever side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair," (2 Corinthians 4) Seriously, our thoughts are our rudder, steering us, and we need to watch over them carefully. It is okay to be tempted to return evil for evil, but it is never okay to actually give in and do it. I find that when I feel hurt or offended, it is in my nature to strike back....and I do not want to do that.
5. My messy home. I wish it weren't messy. I wish it were organized. But, I am thankful for it. For the fun we have here, and the warmth.
6. Down time. I love and appreciate when I can sit here in my comfy chair with my coffee and put my feetsies up. Never underestimate the value of putting those up for a bit. A nurse commented recently that it was amazing that I don't have vericlose veins after having so many pregnancies, and I said it was because I put my feet up too often.
7. Our big yard. We only have two and a half acres, but the kids can run around...we drive by this place in the small city where several families share a small "yard" - mostly paved, between two buildings...there is a small kiddie pool, some tables and umbrellas, and litle bikes...very sad and rather depressing. It makes me feel almost guilty that we have so much grass, and all these trees to climb....
8. My walks. I went on two yesterday. My second one was after dinner, I felt antsy so I put on my sneakers and headed for the hills. I sorted out those thoughts and determined not to have any snacks in the evening, which didn't work because I had a handful of chocolate chips later. But I SO enjoy the mild weather and those walks.
9. Jonny. He is such good company. He charges my phone and my Nook for me, he uses my phone to text his sisters, he answers my texts for me sometimes, he doesn't ask for things in the store anymore, he talks to me about important things like what cars would make good police cars (he pointed out that using gas-guzzlers could be dangerous, because what if a cop had several criminals to chase and ran out of gas?). Anyway, Jonathan is such a good boy.
10. My six teenagers. They know way more than I do. They ever need new sneakers, or have only "one good shirt". They need hair conditioner and they need face wash. When I tell them what they REALLY need, and what I lived without, they say, "In the seventies....", or "back in the dinosaur age...". But they really are good kids, and appreciate things.
11. Good deals. Today, we are going on an adventure! J.C.Penney has a special for the month of August in all their hair salons - free haircuts for school kids up to sixth grade! I will give the stylist a tip, of course, but free! Camille, Char, and Jon are going in this afternoon. Mirielle took Sonja last week. Now, I have never even had my hair cut anywhere, ever, so this is, to me, an extravagance. The princesses are really excited about it. Don't get used to it, girls.
12. Summer sunshine. There is nothing like it. We have almost set a record here this summer, 23 days of 90+degree days so far, and this weekend: sunny skies, warmth into the high eighties or low nineties.
13. My son Benjamin, and his strong faith in God. I honestly don't know what would have happened to him without his faith. Imagine being over in Afghanistan, your major lifeline and hope for the future being getting off that plane to your beautiful wife, then finding out that she has had a change of heart, THEN finding out there is someone else. Please continue to pray for Benjamin, that he holds on to his faith and doesn't give in to despair.
14. My blog. I love writing here. I don't seem to run out of things to say.
I got up early this morning even though Sam got in all of his 30 hours of work already this week and didn't need a ride. I heard Suri whining, so I got up and took her outside. Then I sat on the floor with kittens for a while, what joy! They are just so stupid and sweet. Suri is afraid of them. She would come up to me on one side and let me pet her, then tentatively sniff a kitten, then back away. I think it is because Mama Kitty has hissed at her a few times. Mama does not want the kittens in the kids' room though, she brings them back into the living room by the scruffs of their necks. She is a social kitty, and wants these kittens in here. Do I mind? ha. I am having the time of my life. But sadly, they have to be given away in a few weeks. I am sad because I know I am finally growing up...because I know we don't need to keep one.
So this morning I am happy and thankful. There are so many things to be thankful for!!!!
1. Food. The kids get up and wander into the kitchen. There is cereal, bread for toast, bananas, orange juice, milk, oatmeal. That is nothing to take for granted.
2. Charlotte Claire and Camille. They have been awake in their room for a while, but they play in there together, I can hear them laughing. They are so lucky to have each other!
3. My husband. We aren't always on the same wavelenghth, and I sometimes think he doesn't appreciate me enough, sniff sniff, but. I love him more and more, and he loves me. We still have that spark, and I must say it has gotten better and better, and that is all I am gonna say about that.
4. God. Yes, this one should come first, because from Him all blessings come. I am thankful that He has had mercy on me, and helps me straighten out my thoughts. "We are hard pressed on ever side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair," (2 Corinthians 4) Seriously, our thoughts are our rudder, steering us, and we need to watch over them carefully. It is okay to be tempted to return evil for evil, but it is never okay to actually give in and do it. I find that when I feel hurt or offended, it is in my nature to strike back....and I do not want to do that.
5. My messy home. I wish it weren't messy. I wish it were organized. But, I am thankful for it. For the fun we have here, and the warmth.
6. Down time. I love and appreciate when I can sit here in my comfy chair with my coffee and put my feetsies up. Never underestimate the value of putting those up for a bit. A nurse commented recently that it was amazing that I don't have vericlose veins after having so many pregnancies, and I said it was because I put my feet up too often.
7. Our big yard. We only have two and a half acres, but the kids can run around...we drive by this place in the small city where several families share a small "yard" - mostly paved, between two buildings...there is a small kiddie pool, some tables and umbrellas, and litle bikes...very sad and rather depressing. It makes me feel almost guilty that we have so much grass, and all these trees to climb....
8. My walks. I went on two yesterday. My second one was after dinner, I felt antsy so I put on my sneakers and headed for the hills. I sorted out those thoughts and determined not to have any snacks in the evening, which didn't work because I had a handful of chocolate chips later. But I SO enjoy the mild weather and those walks.
9. Jonny. He is such good company. He charges my phone and my Nook for me, he uses my phone to text his sisters, he answers my texts for me sometimes, he doesn't ask for things in the store anymore, he talks to me about important things like what cars would make good police cars (he pointed out that using gas-guzzlers could be dangerous, because what if a cop had several criminals to chase and ran out of gas?). Anyway, Jonathan is such a good boy.
10. My six teenagers. They know way more than I do. They ever need new sneakers, or have only "one good shirt". They need hair conditioner and they need face wash. When I tell them what they REALLY need, and what I lived without, they say, "In the seventies....", or "back in the dinosaur age...". But they really are good kids, and appreciate things.
11. Good deals. Today, we are going on an adventure! J.C.Penney has a special for the month of August in all their hair salons - free haircuts for school kids up to sixth grade! I will give the stylist a tip, of course, but free! Camille, Char, and Jon are going in this afternoon. Mirielle took Sonja last week. Now, I have never even had my hair cut anywhere, ever, so this is, to me, an extravagance. The princesses are really excited about it. Don't get used to it, girls.
12. Summer sunshine. There is nothing like it. We have almost set a record here this summer, 23 days of 90+degree days so far, and this weekend: sunny skies, warmth into the high eighties or low nineties.
13. My son Benjamin, and his strong faith in God. I honestly don't know what would have happened to him without his faith. Imagine being over in Afghanistan, your major lifeline and hope for the future being getting off that plane to your beautiful wife, then finding out that she has had a change of heart, THEN finding out there is someone else. Please continue to pray for Benjamin, that he holds on to his faith and doesn't give in to despair.
14. My blog. I love writing here. I don't seem to run out of things to say.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
filled with hope...
In, "The Hunger Games", President Snow tells the gamemaster that one thing is stronger than fear: hope.
Now, I am thinking about weight loss today. Because I have been stuck for a while. Getting too comfy, not pushing myself enough. Yah, I have lost 60-something pounds, bigga the deal. I am not on a plateau, in my mind, because a plateau involves a person working really hard and hitting that spot where nothing happens. I am not trying really hard. Just moderately hard. I eat way way way healthier than I used to, but there are things I know I shouldn't have, and when I do have things that are okay, I need to watch those portions. For example, last night I cracked open the peanuts...need I say more? Anyway, for something to happen my life, I have to believe it will happen. This sounds yoga-y and hippie-ish, but it is true. So I decided not to glean strength anymore from what I have already accomplished, and start anew. Again. I will lose forty pounds. There. That is my goal. Added to what I already lost makes it seem too much, but starting now, forty pounds, not too lofty a goal.
We are having absolutely gorgeous weather here in our part of the world. Today: sunshine, high in the eighties. Not a cloud in the sky. Not humid, just pleasant. Tomorrow and Saturday: 90 degrees and sunny. Delicious weather. I will swim and enjoy the sunshine. If only someone would come clean my house for me. ha.
Today, I have to go to the dentist for my broken tooth. I HATE the dentist. Not him personally, just the whole poking around in my mouth thing. I love when he tests the fillings with that sharp thing, dang it makes me nervous. I find myself sitting there all tensed up, every musle in my body clenched...toes pointed toward the ceiling, grabbing the handles of the chair, thinking if my mouth opened any wider my jaw would dislocate. Then the needle into the gums...then the drill. Just the sound of that drill can make me dizzy. I hate that drill. Even with novocaine, I can feel it, and I tense up, dreading an accidental un-numb spot....yes, I have the right mindset for the dentist, don't I?
Lots of my kids are going with me today. They have their school supply lists. I'm sure it will be an adventure.
I am not looking forward to menopause. Life is challenging enough, but more mood swings? blah. I already hate the way my cycles are getting shorter and more random. I mean, it is NOT FAIR to get periods just three weeks apart. Not fun, and not fair. I like to think of myself as a nice lady, a good kind mom...but sometimes I get the tiniest glimpses of how I really am, witchy with a capitol B, and ouch. Then I get my period and That Explains It. Anyway, I am all happy today because I have a week or two or three to enjoy before it comes again.
Now, I sit here and write like no one reads this. At our church conference, a very nice daddy, who was walking with his early rising toddler so Mama could sleep, mentioned that his wife reads my blog. It rather suprised me because I forget people actually read this. This sounds stupid, it IS on the internet, but when I write, I just sit here and write what comes into my head. I have to sensor myself concerning things about my kids that they would kill me for if I ever wrote, but other than that, I am not too careful. I don't think I could write anymore if I actually thought about who reads it.
And now, I shall get out of my comfy chair and get moving. This is particularly hard to do this fine morning because Miss Char is the only one up. Even Suri and Mama Kitty and the three baby kitties are dozing here in our living room.....
Now, I am thinking about weight loss today. Because I have been stuck for a while. Getting too comfy, not pushing myself enough. Yah, I have lost 60-something pounds, bigga the deal. I am not on a plateau, in my mind, because a plateau involves a person working really hard and hitting that spot where nothing happens. I am not trying really hard. Just moderately hard. I eat way way way healthier than I used to, but there are things I know I shouldn't have, and when I do have things that are okay, I need to watch those portions. For example, last night I cracked open the peanuts...need I say more? Anyway, for something to happen my life, I have to believe it will happen. This sounds yoga-y and hippie-ish, but it is true. So I decided not to glean strength anymore from what I have already accomplished, and start anew. Again. I will lose forty pounds. There. That is my goal. Added to what I already lost makes it seem too much, but starting now, forty pounds, not too lofty a goal.
We are having absolutely gorgeous weather here in our part of the world. Today: sunshine, high in the eighties. Not a cloud in the sky. Not humid, just pleasant. Tomorrow and Saturday: 90 degrees and sunny. Delicious weather. I will swim and enjoy the sunshine. If only someone would come clean my house for me. ha.
Today, I have to go to the dentist for my broken tooth. I HATE the dentist. Not him personally, just the whole poking around in my mouth thing. I love when he tests the fillings with that sharp thing, dang it makes me nervous. I find myself sitting there all tensed up, every musle in my body clenched...toes pointed toward the ceiling, grabbing the handles of the chair, thinking if my mouth opened any wider my jaw would dislocate. Then the needle into the gums...then the drill. Just the sound of that drill can make me dizzy. I hate that drill. Even with novocaine, I can feel it, and I tense up, dreading an accidental un-numb spot....yes, I have the right mindset for the dentist, don't I?
Lots of my kids are going with me today. They have their school supply lists. I'm sure it will be an adventure.
I am not looking forward to menopause. Life is challenging enough, but more mood swings? blah. I already hate the way my cycles are getting shorter and more random. I mean, it is NOT FAIR to get periods just three weeks apart. Not fun, and not fair. I like to think of myself as a nice lady, a good kind mom...but sometimes I get the tiniest glimpses of how I really am, witchy with a capitol B, and ouch. Then I get my period and That Explains It. Anyway, I am all happy today because I have a week or two or three to enjoy before it comes again.
Now, I sit here and write like no one reads this. At our church conference, a very nice daddy, who was walking with his early rising toddler so Mama could sleep, mentioned that his wife reads my blog. It rather suprised me because I forget people actually read this. This sounds stupid, it IS on the internet, but when I write, I just sit here and write what comes into my head. I have to sensor myself concerning things about my kids that they would kill me for if I ever wrote, but other than that, I am not too careful. I don't think I could write anymore if I actually thought about who reads it.
And now, I shall get out of my comfy chair and get moving. This is particularly hard to do this fine morning because Miss Char is the only one up. Even Suri and Mama Kitty and the three baby kitties are dozing here in our living room.....
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
my favorite things....
Favorite things - I think my most favorite is Summer. Summer vacation. And it is slipping away. Only this week and next, and dreaded school will begin. Have I bought their school supplies yet? ha. I have stocked up on 25 cent crayons and 50 cent markers, and 17 cent notebooks, but I haven't even glanced at their school lists. blah.
Summer. This summer, I have gotten up most days at a bit after six to drive Sam to work. He does have a bike, but some of the days were so hot, and five miles there and five miles back...I am too nice. Now his new bike is broken, it needs a new tire. I told him this morning that he will have to get it fixed or ride mine tomorrow, as I have a dentist appointment for myself and two of the kids. One of my molars broke right in half during our church summer conference. ouch. It hasn't hurt too badly, but I only chew on the other side now. I hate going to the dentist. He is a nice guy, but I would rather have a baby with no pain meds than go for a filling, any day of the week.
Anyway, I haven't been sleeping in much this summer. I don't mind being up early though. I take Suri outside for a bit before driving Sam, then take her with me for the ride. Then get home and get my sneakers on, and walk before any kids are up. Home, coffee, oatmeal, blog...before they are even up, most mornings.
Yesterday, on Evelyn's birthday, I took a quick trip to Walmart with five girls, to get Ev a volleyball. They had no volleyballs in Walmart. Dang. So I bought the girls Powerades, and M&M's and two posters for Evelyn, and home we went. I wish I had thought to get another gallon of milk. We are almost out and the store in town is so expensive.
Puppies and kittens and rainbows and sunshine. I talked to Benjamin for quite a while on the phone the other day. He is working hard to move on with his life, and not get bitter about Ashley. His heart has been broken. He thought this marriage was forever. My heart is broken for him, and for her. I miss her, I care about her, and I think she is making a terrible, shortsighted mistake. It is cursedly painful to be a mother sometimes. The phrase, "I feel your pain", is actually real for mothers. I mean, I don't go to nursing school, but I feel anxiety about the upcoming exams, I remind them to remember things, I feel the triumph when they ace those tests. I am not in the army, but when Benjamin was shot at last week (the guy in front of him was hit, Ben had to patch him up and have him 'coptered out, bullets were flying around Benjamin's boots), I felt his fear. I am not in high school, but I make sure my kids have decent sneakers and shoes and clothes and I certainly feel it if they aren't happy. I am not a nurse, but when Emily loses a patient who was much too young to die, and has some mourning to do, I feel that with her. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Prov. 17, v 22. I can't fake a cheerful heart. I have to have things in order in my own life. I can't hold on to anger, or nurse grudges. I need to let God's light shine on my sin, so I can be pure and refined, so I have something to give my children. 1 Timothy 4:16 "Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine, continue in them, in doing so you will save both yourself, and those who hear you." Take heed to yourself.
Ah, sorry about that! Just my version of thinking out loud. Preaching to myself. There is no recipe written out that I can just follow, like, "How To Keep Sane And Raise 16 Children Into Adulthood." I can seek after wisdom from God, pray for help, and be humble, then it will go well.
I think it is hilarious sometimes because people think the answer to being able to manage a big family is by Being Organized. I am sure it helps, and I would love to Be Organized myself. But. The truth is: it is by the grace of God. He strengthens the bruised and wavering reed. Jesus grew up like a tender shoot out of dry ground, which shows that what is around us doesn't determine the outcome, it is how we TAKE things. I can get everything in order around me, but still be miserable. When I learn that it is ME that has to change, then it goes well. Come hell or high water, I can learn to be content. ha, it isn't written like that in the bible, but the meaning is the same.
And now I am done encouraging myself to face the day. Because sometimes I too forget that it is me that has to be humble, I get caught up in thinking Things Around Here Have To Change, Or Else. And that may be true....but. And now I have to clean up real fast, my new babysitting kids are on their way over to meet me!
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