head games...

Yesterday, Kim was visiting, and we were talking about home improvements. We both have our lists, and most of the things on the lists will never actually even get onto the lists, and we know it. Because to get something accomplished, you have to want to do it more than the other 99 things that are calling for your attention, then you have to have the money and the time to do it.

At our house, replacing the windows has been on the list, and we actually did half of them last year. The rest were supposed to be done this year, but we got a new furnace instead. A new roof is on the list too, happy homeowners we are! I would like to add a new tile floor for the kitchen, because my brother installed ours years ago, (my brother who committed suicide), and he didn't install new sub-flooring, just put the tile over the linoleum...I'm not sure if that's why we have so many cracked tiles, or if it's just the type of tile we chose, but...we have lots of cracked tiles. I would like to rip up the carpeting in our bedroom and replace it with interlocking wood-like flooring. I would like to replace some bedroom carpets for the kids, and Sam's old room needs a desperate makeover, having had leaking pipes. But those are big projects.

The projects that I can actually do reasonably are the DIY things like the kitchen cabinets and counters. Every so often, I do lots of online research, and almost start these projects, ha. Yesterday I started a small project...Jonathan had this little dresser in his room, and carried it out here while cleaning his room, said he doesn't want it anymore. It originally had white veneer, but was painted red to match some other red things in his room years ago...so I sanded it down, and got ready to prime it, but to spare boring details, I don't have that primer right now because Jonathan forgot to bring it home, blah, and now this red dresser is sitting in the kitchen. I was thinking to chalk paint it a nice creamy white, or a dusty blue, put on some new knobs, and use it for hats and mittens over by the door. I love little, do-able projects like that.

Anyway. I am almost ready to start in on the cabinets...they have to be scrubbed first, and have all the handles/pulls taken off. Then I am thinking to chalk paint, then use a matte polycrylic. But I am going back and forth, I could sand and use latex paint, an nice satin finish, then I wouldn't have to seal them. And I'm not sure what color...I love the old-ish look of creamy white, antique-y, farm-house-ish, but the window frames are stark white, with white trim and hmmmm. Maybe a pale gray, or a deep dark gray.

I am leaning toward chalk paint because I am leaning towards not taking the doors off. I just don't know where I would put them all, and it seems like a huge hassle. I have read accounts of cabinets just being painted with doors on, and they've turned out fine.

Anyway...once I get these ideas into my head, I just want to redo everything. And we need to be driven, in order to actually accomplish something, but then there is the whole Being Content thing, and then Where Does It All End, and then of course there's At The End Of My Life None of These Things Matter. But then, for the time being, it's nice to have a pleasant home, a comfortable place....

But oh my goodness, I really want to start this project....

In other news, Kathryn might be coming home at the end of the month. Samuel has moved down to Virginia for a bit...details on that later...life is stranger than fiction though, I'll say that.

And...Anne will be here soon!

hess trucks and other seasonal fun...!

It's back, and it's better than ever! Jonathan got his truck in the mail today from Grandma! 13 is not too old to love a new Hess truck!

Yesterday afternoon, I went to the craft store with my sister. It was a split second decision, one of those spontaneous trips out the door...she called and yes, I wanted to go with her! After all, I had just put dinner in the oven...I had floured and browned up two chuck roasts, in hot oil, with pepper and rosemary...cut up potatoes and carrots, and put it all in two glass baking pans in the oven, covered tight in foil...so yes, I felt I could leave.

The craft store is all things Christmas. And yeah, I bought a few ornaments:)

I won't put anything up until after Thanksgiving, but I am excited about it.

We went to the pool yesterday, and it felt great...Margaret and Adrian went with us...what a nice day.

And, I walked this morning! I just did, and lo and behold, I didn't freeze to death.

Tonight's dinner is going to be meat, potatoes, and carrots from last night, made into a stew/soup, with a fresh loaf of Italian bread...well, it was fresh yesterday afternoon, still hot, when I put it into the cart. My sister and I went to the grocery store really quick after the craft store, I didn't need much...just some half and half, a pound of butter, some bananas, and a package of hot sausage, and some spicy white hot coneys, marked down because they are summery, but are still good.

Anyway. Anne was delightful today...she is walking more than crawling now, and she liked the Hess truck as much as Jon did. She keeps me busy, but it's nice to have a little one to snuggle with. My sister-in-law Kim came for a visit with her two youngest, who also homeschool. Coffee and conversation, it was cozy and nice. I made up a triple batch of chocolate chip cookie dough and baked a few pans of them...and resisted...tasted some dough, but resisted...then all of the sudden, I found myself breaking off a piece of cookie where there are no chocolate chips...I like that part best, my cookies are more brown sugar than white, and the dough part is so caramel-y...it was SO good, so I ate like two more cookies...blah. So much work I do, then that happens.

But one thing I have learned is that just because I mess up like that, doesn't mean I am doomed and I may as well eat a bag of Tootsie Rolls...no sir. It's back on track before too much damage is done, and oh well, learn from it.

And...it's dinner time.

brrrrrr......

Cold weather happens, here in the northeast. Try as you may, you can't escape it, unless you actually escape it and head south. This fine morning, it's 30f. That's two degrees below freezing, so the precipitation is snowy/freezing rain stuff. There was new snow all over the deck and on the vehicles in the driveway this morning. It's overcast, and gloomy, and no one in their right mind would go for a walk in it. But here's the thing: I need to wrap my mind around the fact that those lovely autumn days are just about gone, summer is a distant memory, and I will not melt, nor will I freeze to death. I may not enjoy the pelting sting of freezing rain against my face, nor relish the cold wind, but. This is how it is, and I need to stop with the excuses.

Every morning, I declare that indeed, tomorrow I will take my walk.

This past weekend went by in a blur, but a good, happy blur. On Friday, we gave away kitten #6 to a nice lady who is a real estate agent and has two kids, and two dogs, and one cat. They had two cats, but one passed away and her dogs missed it. We messaged back and forth quite a bit, then agreed to meet at Target so she could take kitty. She sent me pics later of the kitten meeting her dogs, and they all liked each other, kitty didn't stop purring. I'm glad kitty found a good home. They are all rehomed now except for little orange guy, as we call him. He's staying, because we NEED three cats. I can't say I'm complaining, he loves me best. He's lying here on my lap right now, purring. He's really big and furry and sweet and very needy. He wants his mama all the time, and we are trying to keep them separated so she can stop nursing, and start drying up so she can be spayed.

After saying goodbye to the kitten, we went shopping for a bit. Kohl's had some good coupons and discounts, so we got a few things..the little girls had grown out of all their boots, so they found some that weren't too crazy-unreasonable. A few of the older girls found sweaters for seven dollars, the nice long ones with the hoods.

Yesterday, we went to Target...Margaret was with us, which was like the good old days. Margaret, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, Charlotte Claire, Camille, and me. We bought bar-stools for the counter, which the kids have been wanting forever and ever. They don't match, one is black and the other is warm white. One is taller, and the styles are different. But they were $12 and $13, and Evelyn and Char assembled them as soon as we got home. Paul came in the door from hunting, and the kids were all excited, see the new stools, Daddy? He had no idea that we even needed them! Now of course, I am flitting through pintrest, trying to decide if I should Go For It, and spray paint them a nice matching gray or chalk paint them or just leave them and not risk ruining them. Can you spray paint in the house? I have the boxes they came in and could make a backdrop....hmmmm. What if I wreck them?

Thanksgiving is almost upon us, how did this happen? I tell you, time is on warp speed these days. School reports are due this week, already! Christmas is just around the corner! 41 days, not that I'm counting. It makes things seem frantic to see that number, but I have been stashing a few things away in my present closet. I like to give each of the kids lots of good stuff, but that's not really practical, nor do they need it, the older ones. The younger ones aren't so much into toys anymore, and the grandchildren don't need lots of stuff either. Anya is four now, and has a new baby sister, and for the time being, lives in a snuggly apartment, with not a lot of room for extras. She already has plenty of toys, too. Lydia is two, and she has LOADS of toys already. So Grandma can't just go crazy, their mamas wouldn't appreciated that. But with secret Santa gifts and girls' youth gift exchanges and and and, the fun is just starting.

I saw an article written by a mom of four boys, lamenting on how they already had all the toys. ALL OF THE TOYS, is what she said. So her younger kid didn't need anything but maybe some new jeans and sneakers. (she was suggesting that friends and relatives gift them with memberships to museums, ect, instead of toys because she was so stressed about having too much stuff). I get it, I really do. But, I have always believed that the younger kids deserve to know the joy of getting their OWN new doll, or new set of Lego. Just because MOM has been there done that, doesn't mean the child shouldn't get to experience the excess of Christmas, ha.

Anyway. Kids are up, the day is an empty slate, the floors need sweeping...and I am thinking about those stools...

winter already?!!!!!

It snowed! And it's cold! It's 23 degrees (-5c), and windy. We didn't get much snow, but it changes the lighting in here, and makes it feel almost Christmas-y.


There's no school today, so the high school girls are making breakfast, with their friend Irene and cousin Grace. Jonathan is shooting his airsoft gun with Sunny...Sunny goes crazy to go chase the pellets. Charlotte Claire and Camille changed their room around again, it's how they get it really clean. They are only ten and eleven, and they move those bunk beds and dressers and rearrange things all by themselves. It's sad each time though, Char says she has glass tea sets that she doesn't want anymore. :(
Joseph left a few hours ago to go, of all places, to the Adirondacks, to Giant Mountain, for a mountain hike. The temperatures there are frigid, but he's prepared, taking a few friends, and off he went.


Evelyn Joy, Camille, me, Sonja K., and Miss Charlotte Claire in the background...we went to the dreaded mall yesterday...we met up with a nice girl and her mama, who took two of the kittens...only one left, except for the one we are somehow keeping. Three cats is still this side of crazy, right?

The mall...we didn't do much. We went to H&M where I found a few baby things for grandbabies and a pair of jeans for Char, then to Forever21 where we hit the one dollar rack, for a few hats and socks, then found Cam some really pretty leggings for three dollars.

We went into Bath & Body Works, which the girls LOVE, even though we don't buy anything. It's SO expensive!

Anyway. We decided to leave and hit the grocery store for some frozen pizzas, there is a store brand of chicken/bacon/ranch, that they really like...

This morning, I woke up at 6:30, saw the snow, and was too excited to go back to sleep. So I got up and started in on the morning work of dishes, laundry, sweeping up the floors. I changed and washed the couch covers, and put some chicken in the crockpot. It's so cold out, it's a fine day for chicken and gravy, and mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash....mmm. And the best part is that I love starting the day knowing what's for dinner...doesn't take much, with me, doesn't take much.

There are cinnamon buns, and I am not eating cinnamon buns. They smell tantalizingly yummy, but no, I am not having any. I had an egg and a sausage, and a pile of green peppers with onions, thank you, Evelyn Joy! And pumpkin spice coffee.

Oh well...time to get moving, again....

ten years ago today....

Ten years ago today, my baby was born. Of course I didn't know she was going to be the caboose, but alas she is. She is just the biggest blessing. I don't like to repeat old stories...ha, wait, yes I do. But Camille was the baby I thought I had lost. I had the miscarriage, and went on with life...feeling sad and tired and worn out. It was a sad spring, my parents had both just passed away, and I just didn't feel well. And long story short, all those weeks, I was pregnant still after all! It was maybe a subchrionic bleed, or loss of a twin, I don't know...but at 15 or 16 weeks I went in for a check up, had a urine sample that came out still positive, then a blood test to see what was going on...the beta numbers were sky high, so the office called and said to come right in...whisked in for a sonogram, and there was a perfect little baby waving at us! I had thought ovarian cancer, but no sir, it was Camille Anaya (Anaya means: God answered.)

Anyway. We didn't know if Cam was a he or a she until she was born, but she was the best baby. She has been the best child too, and that's saying alot because I have 15 other best children, ha. But she has been a cuddler since she was born, and she still snuggles on the arm of my chair sometimes. She has a huge heart, and is very independent. She can pack for a sleepover all by herself, heat up a can of soup, make pancakes, cupcakes, and scrambled eggs. But shh, she still acts like the youngest child, and I don't mind. Because she is. And I say this: if you have had sixteen kids, and feel qualified to give advice on how to deal with the youngest, you are more than welcome, ha.

It's cold out. It's rainy and really wet, the dogs get muddy just running through the yard. I swept and mopped this morning, then the dogs came in from running about with Jonathan...he wiped them off, but I had to wipe down the whole kitchen floor again...

Coffee is on, Anne is here, and cousin Danielle has spent two nights, so it's like a little party. Except that Anne is tired and ready for her morning nap.

birthdays, strollers, camps...

Happy Birthday to Camille! In the background is Samuel, just came back from his weekend with the Army Reserves...he is talking about being deployed to Africa next year...spend his whole time in the regular Army in D.C., at Arlington, all safe and sound from being sent overseas, then joins the reserves...


Cam requested lemon meringue pie for her birthday. Okay, I thought, how hard can that be? Lemon pie and pudding mix would have been the smart option, with my homemade butter pie crust...but no, I had to go totally scratch, with the lemon juice and the cornstarch, and it was really good...too sweet and not tangy enough, but Cam loved it...I made two, and it took way too long, especially because you can't make just two pies, we had to have two pumpkin, too. By the time I got done cleaning, and making those pies, I decided the roast beef in the crock pot was going into the refrigerator for tonight's dinner, and we were ordering pizza. We had around 23 people for dinner, and I did not feel like going with my original plan, which was to peel, boil, and mash 10 pounds of potatoes, make stuffing, and veggies, to serve with the beef and gravy. I just didn't have it in me. I wanted to enjoy Ben and Ashley and little Anya and new baby Elise...I wanted to enjoy Mali and Lydia, and talking to Margaret and Adrian, and Emily and Abigail and Mirielle...and Sam came home from his weekend...it was crazy enough with six pizza boxes stacked up and the help yourself thing...I also cut up celery, cucumbers, carrots, and peppers, and had nice little prize bags for the little kids.

Anyway. Our hot topic of discussion was this: to rent the same camp this year, right on the water with the delicious dock to jump off of, or to sit and bake in the sun on...or a huge camp we found that has 8 bedrooms and an industrial sized kitchen, with a game room...it's just in a field, surrounded by woods...not on the water...but in the Adirondacks, one would have to drive to go fishing or swimming. But it would fit us so much better. I am SO leaning towards the camp on the water, I am supposed to be sending the deposit in today for it....the bigger one is more expensive, but still within budget. It's like one of those shows, Ben and I keep texting each other the pros and cons...with a few more babies being born into the family, we will be bursting at the seams in the lakeside camp. A few of the older kids will have to rent hotel rooms in town and commute. But the big camp will fit us all. But. We won't be able to just go jump in that freezing cold lake whenever we want, or just take the kayaks out, or go fishing in the boat whenever....I am not a decision maker in any sense, I go back and forth, and when I finally make up my mind, I jump right into second guessing myself. It's bad. Most of the kids agree to the big camp, it allows dogs, which is a deal breaker for Char. But. A few of them are like, NO WAY. There is NOTHING in this world like waking up and sitting out on the porch with a cup of coffee, and listening to the loons...just watching the water. And the sunsets up there, oh dear me.

We can drive to beaches and lakes, drive to places...and we'll have fun. The big camp has a huge-O stove, like the kind in my dreams, and an industrial/commercial refrigerator. There is seating for like 30 people, and so much room to rattle around in.

If we don't love it, our week at the original camp might be hard or impossible to get back for the next year. So it's a gamble. Part of me says to go for it, it'll be new and different and we'll all be there, so how can it be anything but fun? Margaret says she'll bring a little pool, ha.

I bought a new stroller. I still love strollers. I found one in T.J.Max for $150, but I behaved myself and didn't buy it, even though they sell for $400 elsewhere. (City Premier by Baby Jogger) I reasoned that it would be nice to have for the grandkids, and for when I watch Anne. But no, I resisted. I went to that store a few more times, and dang it, it was still there. Well, on Saturday, I went there to get a gift for Camille, and lo-and-behold, it was there, and when I tried to resist, what???!!! There was a RED tag on it! Upon closer investigation, wow! It was marked down to $90! Did I NEED it? Heck no! But for $90, yes. Yes, I needed it. I put it in my cart, and when Evelyn rejoined me after shopping in the shoe section, she just shook her head, and snapped a pic for Sonja.

It's for Margaret. That's a good thing. She did already buy one, but a different one. She's twenty weeks now, and this stroller will be great for her, as she can get a bassinet for it and make it a pram.

What fun.

Kittens...we are giving away the kittens...one lady wants two for her two little girls...then there is one left to give away, since we are keeping one little orange guy, making our cat total three, which is just this side of crazy, in my mind.

Today...we are going to the pool.

math science history, unraveling a mystery....

Homeschooling...it's fun, it's busy...you can start to write a blog post or put a load in the washer quick, but then there's a math question...so you have to be present, you have to be patient.

Next week, we were planning to take an overnight trip for Camille's birthday. My baby is turning ten years old! Our house is most often hopping with older kids, grand kids, friends...Miss Cam helps with little Anne, who is here three days a week. She plays with her little nieces when they visit. For her birthday, we thought it would be nice to go away for a night, so we could have some fun, just the three homeschooled kids and me. We spent far too long researching, and finding just the right place...(that's school, right?), then I tried to book it, the excitement was IN THE AIR, and nope, it didn't work. A glitch somewhere. So I called the hotel directly, and the prices on the phone were way more than online. So no, not going to do it. I told Cam maybe we aren't meant to go, but I would try again later.

Because, going overnight to spend some time in the hot tub, the pool, have breakfast....watch hours of HDTV...it's fun.

I also suggested we save the money and buy her a bike instead...she got flustered, she hates wasting money, it makes her feel bad, so I just shut up about it and said that we'll have fun going away.

Anyway. She's doing division problems in front of the fake fireplace. The skies have cleared up, I opted out of my walk this morning because it was so chilly and pouring rain. I know I won't melt, but getting soaked to the skin...just no.

We are going to the library in a bit, for more stacks of books, and to let Anne play a bit.

And let me go off on a tangent, please. Let's go back in time, ten years. Ten years ago, I started this blog. I was still pregnant for Camille, didn't know she was a girl until she was born. But anyway. Ten years ago...let's see what life looked like...
Emily was 22
Abigail was 20
Benjamin 18
Mirielle 17
Joseph 16
Aaron 14
Mali 13
Samuel 12
Margaret 10
Kathryn 9
Evelyn 8
Suzanne 6
Sonja 5
(baby Robert in between Sonja and Jon)
Jonathan 3
Char 18 months

I was knee deep in it, ha. When Cam was born, 8 kids ten and under. Oh my dear goodness.

Anyway.

I changed my mind about this autumn, it's not the most beautiful ever. The leaves seemed to be blowing off the trees before they get a chance to become breathtaking. There are so many bare naked trees already. There is something chilling about bare trees, something foreboding, like you know what's coming, you can't stop it, it's stronger than you. Winter humbles me. We're fortunate enough to have gloves and boots, and a warm place to live, but without all that, it would win.

The warm walking mornings are taken for granted, then you realize that being cold on a morning walk isn't just a joke, it's really happening again. You can bundle up, but having an ice cube nose and a hat on your head isn't the same as walking with the cool breeze blowing your hair. Your fingers huddle under your jacket sleeves, until you know gloves have to be dug out of the closet.

Maybe I'm getting old, getting tired of being cold, maybe I am understanding my mother-in-law more, she winters in Florida but is staying in the stark cold north until January this year. It hasn't even started and I find it dismal. Morning walks when the road is icy, nope. When the snowbanks make it nearly impossible for a non-nimble old lady like me to hop out of the way of a speeding snowplow. It did happen once, I almost got snowplowed. I kid you not. It was the hands-down most terrifying experience of my life. It was when we still had our sheepdog, Rosie-The-Bad-Dog. She was barking like crazy at our neighbors down the road, barking and circling the neighbor's tractor/plow, as they tried to clear their driveway. I had to go down the road and lunge for that dogs collar, drag her unhappy butt back down towards our house, when the snowplow came barreling down the road. The snowbanks were huge, but I leaped right into it, scrambled out of the road for dear life. I probably spent the first few minutes warning time, when I first realized that the plow was indeed coming, deciding what the heck to do, then it was almost upon me, and dang it, I dove right into that snow bank. I don't even remember if I let go of Rosie so that she could bark at the plow, I don't remember. I just remember the terror, and then coming into the house and telling everyone I almost got hit, uh huh, you're fine, "almost" doesn't count.

Anyway. The sun is coming out, Cam needs help, and I haven't had breakfast yet.