one dark and cozy night....

I decided to make cut out cookies with the kids. The older kids' youth meeting was cancelled because we have snow which turned to sleet, making for slippery roads. Jon and Char were helping too, but soon decided on Mario Cart or a StarWars game instead. Camille and I finished all by ourselves. A few things I noticed while decorating cookies with my youngest child:

1. I am still lacking in patience. She got green sprinkles in the yellow ones, spilled flour all over, and...well, she puts so many sprinkles on her cookies!

2. A few years ago, Emily made a remark along the lines of, "Mom, when we're all moved out, this place is going to be echoing of our ghosts." Well, sitting there at our long kitchen tables with only Cam, frosting and sprinkling, I was remembering the days of managing 8 or 10 or 12 or 14 kids, frosting and sprinkling. I would usually begin the cookie decorating as soon as the one year old was in for a nap, who ever was one at the time, probably at the same time as the two year old...I remember older kids rocking babies, and me having to take a break to nurse. I remember getting those one year olds up from naps, changing them and putting them in highchairs so they could be contained for a wee bit longer, so we could finish up without them climbing up and having Sprinkle Fun.

3. I like cookies. I only ate a few tastes of the scraps. Yes, I bake up the last cuttings, instead of rolling them back out into shapes. The kids ate them up dipped in frosting. Yum, I do make a good butter cookie, dang it.

4. Camille is hilarious. She seriously thinks she can make beautiful cookies.

Anyway. It was a cozy evening. Margaret made a pot of chili, which she seasoned with zsechuan spices. The girls practiced a song for the upcoming Christmas concert at church, the five-in-a-row girls are planning it, with their ukeles.

Suri is just so cute.

The house is quiet, once again. I find myself staying up way too late when Paul is away. Poor guy is in Florida, in December. He called me while he was taking a nice warm evening walk. We have snow. I was planning on my walk today, but then it started snowing...then sleeting...

Tomorrow is a day of out and about. I promised a few little girls I would take them out to Pizza Hut to redeem their Book It coupons. Jon too, of course. But we have to get our minivan back from the garage in town. I am not sure yet what was wrong, but it wouldn't steer. It is supposed to be done in the morning, and I hope whatever was wrong was a cheap fix. Our poor Sentra hasn't been appraised yet, but the adjuster has been in touch. He said they all took five days off for the holidays, and everyone had accidents while they were off, so they have to catch up.

I haven't blogged much about weight loss in a while for a few reasons. One, I don't like pouring my heart out on here and then talking to people I know in real life about it. It just seems so personal, unless of course I am doing fantastic and the pounds are falling off, then I don't mind. I have been maintaining a gain, losing a few pounds and then gaining them back, over and over again. I am still up over 20 pounds from my lowest, which is downright discouraging. I realized today that I was getting really depressed about it. Not overall depression, just in regards to the weight. Like feeling hopeless about the whole thing. But I am not giving up. It could be worse. I still don't eat bread, or chips, or cookies, for the most part. I know the things that trip me up, and for a normal person, they wouldn't probably matter. But I seem to gain weight back so easily now, just eating a bowl of popcorn or...pie. Okay, I did have too much pie. Most of the regain is from adding little things back in, and they add up over the days and weeks. It's not that I just went back to eating GASP sandwiches again! Anyway. My point is that I am not giving up.

I want more energy. This winter stuff is getting old already. I haven't been walking because of slippery roads and hunting season. I need to get to the pool, and stick to my weight lifting/push-ups/work out. I did it yesterday, but nothing today.

I have done most of my shopping online this year, and I am almost finished. I still have a few kids I haven't bought anything for. Today we cleaned under the couches and moved them around to make room for the Christmas tree. The little girls didn't lose any time setting up camp in the empty place. My kids have always loved having a new, clean, space to play in.

Okay, time to turn off all the Christmas lights and get to bed....it's almost midnight:)