summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

how long is this gonna take?

Camille, sprawled out on the floor in Evelyn's room in her big baggy Disney World sweatshirt, her heart pajama pants, and Hello Kitty slippers...lying on the floor next to the heater, on this 9 degree morning. She was hurrying me along, as I stretched and did push-ups and lifted my ten pound dumbbells. She had plans with her mama, and this was no fun.

But I held firm, and tried to ignore her cute little self. Then the dogs started barking furiously, oh joy, the UPS man. Whatever. I collected my phone and glasses and slippers, and called it a day.

So Camille's question is a good one. How long is this gonna take? I lost 70 pounds, gained back a little more than 20, and am still working. How long is it gonna take? The answer depends on how much effort I put in to it, I suppose. But then the deeper question, can I be happy on the journey? I have this thing, this subconscious thought, that when I finally finally get thin, I will be ecstatic. I will just be so full of joy. Things will be easier. I can just picture myself so free and light and toned. It can happen, I know that. But I can also win the lottery, ha. And believe me, I know my trials and troubles won't magically melt away:)

Anyway. Here I am in my chair with my coffee, all showered, while the kids lounge on the couches with their school books.

Cousin Danielle decided she wanted to go home last night, after they were all tucked into bed. She said she didn't feel well. I went into their room to try to talk her into just going to sleep and going home in the morning, but she was sitting there with a bowl. Um, okay, I'll call your mom.

While we waited for her mom, she chatted up a storm, and seemed fine, but who knows. I told her I remember what it was like to be little and not feel well and want to be home with my mommy.

So Char and Camille moved into my nice big comfy bed when Dani went home.

And I slept better than I have in days.

In fact, I looked at my phone when I woke up, and it was....9:26. wow.

Cam and I snuggled for a bit, and planned our meals for the week. It's easy to get into a rut with meals. In the fall, it's like, YAY, we can have more soups and roasted veggies and those cold weather comfort foods. But with January winding down, it gets old. Fresh garden veggies sound heavenly. Chicken on the grill, oh yum. Corn on the cob, zucchini. I want taco salad and chicken fajitas. Grocery store tomatoes though, blah.

Anyway, we are going to the library, then the grocery store. Seriously, happiness is having a huge stack of library books, just waiting to be read. And having food in the 'fridge, knowing what's for dinner...oh bliss.

Off we's ten degrees now, but the sun is shining here while the blizzard pounds away at the coast....

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I am in MI, experiencing the same kind of winter you are--BLAH! I broke down and got one store bought tomato and made TACO SALAD for dinner last night, and until just now, totally forgot about putting the tomato in (so now what do I do with it?). I am craving summer foods too.

You sound just like me. I want to hibernate in the winter with lots of good books and the last thing I really want to do is grocery shop in 10 degree weather. I had to push a cart thru the snowy parking lot twice so far this winter and I absolutely hated it!