summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Sunday, August 16, 2015

all quiet and all alone...

I haven't had much alone time in a while, big surprise. Paul has been on vacation, and we have been taking it rather easy. Walking barefoot through the yard and eating tomatoes out of the garden IS relaxing. But dishes still need washing...

We went over to some friends' house this afternoon for a cookout dinner, lots of our friends were there. (It was Davian's house, our little friend who likes to visit here, my niece's sister's grandson) Davian was glad to have us over, he showed us the whole yard...from the froggies in the pond, to where the old well is, which we reminded him to stay away from. :)

Anyhoo, I am a social creature, especially compared to my husband:)

But. I like my quiet time, too.

Now, for example, it is quiet. The house fan is going, and the kids have all gone to bed. Mirielle is texting me about returning the rental car, she is on her way home from Norway via New York City, with Kathryn and Evelyn.

I am going to the beach tomorrow with Mali and the three youngest kids. Mali is due next week, and we are having a heatwave here in New York state...

But right now, it is quiet. I am sorting out my thoughts.

Life is more than doing one thing after another. Once in a while one has to stop and take a look-see at what is going on. Here's what I think:

1. I need to be more patient.

2. The kids need for me to say what I mean and mean what I say, nicely.

3. Listening is a necessary skill for parenting, and for marriage. Uh-huh, uh-huh doesn't count.

4. Simply because of the sheer number of "kids" we have (lots of them aren't really kids anymore...), there is a lot of listening to be done.

5. Taking care of everyone's issues can be draining, if I never get any quiet time to recharge.

6. Marriage is work. It's easy to see how he needs to be nice to me, but can I see how I need to be nice to him?

7. Counting your blessings really does work! Recently, I was feeling really bad about things, thinking I knew what he was thinking, thinking he thought I can't do anything right...then I thought of how he built the pool for us...he works so hard at work...he planted the garden, and brings in the fresh stuff...and usually cooks it, too. He let us keep Duke, he makes me coffee unexpectedly sometimes, he shares his smoothies with me, brought me this laptop as a surprise a while ago, brings me flowers, he helps me figure out what to eat healthily, orders vitamins for me, asks me if I need anything every time he goes to town for something...and I felt ashamed for thinking that he didn't love me as much as I thought he should. Because he does. Maybe we're on different wavelengths sometimes, but those are just times of faith-testing:)

8. My kids can function pretty well without me. Tonight, they made their own dinner while Paul and I went out to our friends' place. Granted, it was only pizza pockets and cauliflower, but they prepared it, ate it, AND cleaned up. Jonathan did all of the dishes...when I opened the cupboard, I actually screamed...the coffee mugs and glasses were STACKED UP, very precariously. ha. yeah.

9. Grandma isn't feeling well, and that makes me nervous. She is so robust and energetic, but every once in a while, this and that flare up, and she has to rest. She turns 86 this week, and we are having a birthday party at her house. I am praying she is better by then! (I am making cuppy-cakes!) It's funny, because if you picture a traditional grandmother, all hunched over with a silver bun and small old fashioned spectacles, ha! Paul's mom stands up straight and tall, and is thin and lovely still. Her hair is blonde, her glasses stylish, and her clothes neat and nice and sporty. She doesn't sit still, and has a "potty mouth", in her own words. She's sharp and witty, yet has a heart of gold.

10. I have no idea what the theme is here...I just know I am tired now. Mirielle and the girls are outside of New York City now, heading home...they'll be here in a few hours, and Mirielle has to have help returning the rental I had better smarten up and get to bed....goodnight!

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