Saturday, August 1, 2015
Suri and I...Paul and I found ourselves home alone this afternoon, and he suggested we drive down to the canal and take a walk. Suri got to come along too, she took a swim when Paul threw a stick in for her to fetch. She had lots of fun off the leash, because there were no other people there. Duke can't walk very far these days, so he had to stay home, poor guy.
Paul walked her for a bit on the leash when we got closer to civilization.
Our little alone time didn't last long, Sonja called to be picked up, and please could she have two friends sleep over? Home we went, then I went to fetch Sonja and her friends.
Emily and Margaret took Camille and Charlotte "waterfalling" today, and Jonathan went with some of his friends. Some of the girls are in Washington D.C. to visit Sam, and Abigail spend most of the day here with me. Paul was gardening and puttering around. Ab and I were lazy...sat in the sun, went in the pool...she is leaving on Tuesday for her year in Norway, so she wants to soak in the sun while she can.
There are eight kids here now, although admittedly not all of them are actually kids, Joseph is 24 and Margaret is 18. Camille asked me to roast her a marshmallow on the stove, since there are too many mosquitoes to make a campfire enjoyable. Hmm. Em already took her for ice cream on the way home from their adventure....
I love my husband. This isn't meant to be husband-bashing. It's meant to explain my interpretation of how things could go wrong in a marriage. I noticed recently that I was letting myself think critical thoughts about him. Oh, they weren't totally groundless, he's not Mr. Perfect. He actually did some really awful things, like driving with his window down when the bugs were out, one flew right into my mouth and when I complained about it, he didn't roll the window up, he just said, "Huh." He got up and walked away when he was explaining how gut bacteria help maintain something or other because I was scrolling through the email on my phone, but I WAS listening to him. I was just trying to find something. He spilled coffee all over the floor this morning, plus on the garbage can, and when I pointed it out, he cleaned it up like a two-year old. Willingly, but...
Remember, the point here isn't for me to complain about Paul. It's this: I realized that when silly things like this were happening, I was getting more than tempted to be huffy. I was really letting myself get upset with him. I was rolling things around in my head, things that hurt my feelings, things that made me feel slighted. I was thinking about these things and letting myself grow cold. Thanks be to God that I woke up! I don't want to grow bitter because of stupid things. Honestly, sometimes the things don't seem so stupid at the time. I find myself wanting to revisit a conversation we had, to clarify something or point out that I was in fact right, or whatever. Let it go! Forgive and forget. I do love him, he's cute and funny and sweet and smart and I still find him very attractive:)
Yeah, he drives me crazy sometimes, but I am not going to let those little irritations get to me and take root, no bitterness from me, not happening. I do believe that when a person gives room to those thoughts, the devil has a field day! Love grows cold. Arguing and fighting and bickering and on and on, until what once was love turns to hate.
Ah well, there is much silliness going on here...so bye for now!