all grown up....

I never thought I'd grow up. I vowed not to, Peter Pan copycat or not. No sir, I was going to enjoy the moments, smell the roses, and never let the anxieties of life bog me down. But then one day I realized that I don't ever want another dog. Or another cat. The battle of the fleas (and the expense! The collars that work are fifty bucks each...the dogs just got their new ones, and the cats still need them, again, and ugh!), the screens the cats like to climb, the meowing to come in and out of the house when I just sat down, the doggies and their muddy paws, raking up the piles in the yard...

Don't get me wrong, I love the two pups, and the two kitties too. I wouldn't get rid of them because they are trouble, never. But the thought of adding to the collection, nope, nah, and nada chance. I have grown up.

That being said, do not show me a Lab puppy for sale, I'll forget all of the above and bring it home.

Anyway. I still vow to not really grow up. The roses must be smelled (or "smelt" if we were British). The days must be treasured.

Yesterday was abundant in sunshine, and these two little charges of mine wanted OUT. It's funny how much they love each other, so innocent and sweet. They are distantly related, because Lydia is my granddaughter, and Anne is my sister's granddaughter. So we just say cousins, ha. (They're second cousins, I believe). They do fight a little sometimes, a sneaky little hit or the grabbing of a toy, so I watch to make sure it doesn't escalate, but still try to let them work it out as much as possible. They keep me hopping, I'll tell you that!


I did go on my walk again this morning. My knee has been holding up, and every walk I complete, I am thankful for that. This morning, my "good" knee gave a good twinge of pain during the walk, and I was like, "UH-OH!". I'm trying really hard to get into better shape...walking up that hill is good for me, yet I HATE it. I am lazy, I am a comfy chair person. I do enjoy getting out and walking, but if I had my druthers..

The scale is going down a teeny bit too...I'm avoiding sugar like the plague, and cutting most carbs...no pasta, rice maybe a teaspoon, no bread. I do enjoy a Wegman's No Sugar Added frozen fudge bar sometimes, 60 calories of yumminess.

Over the weekend at the wedding, I had some chips, some wine, Panda Express TWICE, once I shared with Aaron and it was so fun...I ate some of the wedding cake, too. I wasn't totally off the rails, but I did indulge. But I walked so much, I came home the same weight. So I decided that I NEED to get out there and move. Also, I want to be in better shape for our huge trip to Norway this summer...airports and train stations and the hilly conference center when we get there...oh if I could go back in time, I would take much better care of this body!

Here's the thing: it is so easy to see how someone else could treat me a little better. It's so easy to get the old feelings hurt. It really is. And then it's easy and almost mindless to return it, you know, answer snarkily, or roll the eyes and harrumph. And then think Poor Me. I am working on this! On being conscious of how these hands of mine can bless, and I can be kind, no matter what! I recently had my eyes wide opened to how demanding I was being to one of the kids about the way something was done wrongly. How would I feel if someone talked to me like that? Oh ouch. There is so much to work on. When I am busy working out my own salvation, things are better for not only me, but the family too.

I have heard the term "Sanctimommy" a few times lately. My guess: term for a mom who does no wrong, doesn't get mad, keeps the child rear-facing for the full two years, gets to the gym...some of these moms try too hard. All the things, all the warnings, (co-sleeping!!! bad!! good!!!, bottle or breast!!, immunizations, homeschool, cloth diapers, potty-training...)but in all of this, the most important thing is that connection, in my humble opinion. There is more than one way to skin a cat, as my mother used to say, and all different ways to raise kids. My sixteen kids are mostly grown now, Camille is 11 and a half. So I've had a lot of chances to work on things, and figure things out, and my conclusion is that seeing the best in your child, lots of praise, positive attention, minimal nagging (oh that's been a hard one for me!), lots of encouragement, and taking time to just enjoy life with each of them, one on one time whenever possible...those things are important. No one cares that I used clothe diapers for several years, there is no prize for that.

The truth is, I've managed by the skin of my teeth and the grace of God, that's the real truth.

Here's some news: I am going to be a grandma, again! Mali and Josh (married in December) are expecting a new baby! Lydia is going to be a big sister!!!