life: sunshine and roses?

If you had asked me that a few hours ago...blah. We know it's all in the attitude, but that positive attitude isn't always magically present. I had my head screwed on wrong this morning, or perhaps my shoes were too tight. It couldn't have been the empty ice cream cake pan on the counter, not totally empty of course. Maybe it was the foil that covered that ice cream cake, on the floor, complete with plenty of sticky spots, courtesy of one fat hoggy Labrador Retriever, who loves stealing things from the counter during the night. Maybe it was washing all those dishes that piled up since after dinner last night...that weren't mine. Maybe it was that I had to hook Duke to the leash and take him out, because the dog down the road is in heat again, and he disappeared for too long last evening, and that dog's owner doesn't take kindly to Duke wooing his yellow lab. Perhaps when Jonathan remarked how melty that ice cream cake was...and I questioned him about it, which led to the discovery that the large chest freezer wasn't plugged in all the way...um, DUH. a-hem. They ate that ice cream cake last evening after I went to bed, it was melty, and duh? okay, I get it. It just didn't dawn on them.

I have sixteen kids. Eleven of them are girls. Seven of the girls still live at home (3 live with Emily),plus Joseph and Jon, who are EASY. Girls=trouble. They are good girls. Most of the time. But they are girls, and they are by nature, unpredictable. One of them didn't like something I said yesterday, so she picked up her things, and stomped down the stairs. ouch. I wanted to stomp after her and set her straight. But I didn't. I took a deep breath, and decided to talk to her later. maybe. Another of them posted something I didn't care for, so I had to talk to her. These girls of mine don't always think the same way as I do about things. I believe in giving them freedom, but then there's the line I draw. They need limits, too. They need encouragement, they need to feel a responsibility in their actions, as to the effect they have on their peers and siblings. It keeps me busy, wondering and praying and judging my own self, along with trying to steer them in the best direction. Sometimes it's wisdom to keep my mouth shut, sometimes I have to say something. Usually this isn't very clear in the moment, and believe me, I spend a lot of time on my knees, raising these girls of mine.

And I won't lie, sometimes it's exhausting. Sometimes I wish I just didn't care what they did.

But I do care, and it's my lot in life:)

Having lots of kids is more than giving birth and nursing babies.

It's juggling rides and schedules, feeding and clothing them, appointments, and...most importantly, being a good example, and raising them up to be responsible and respectful and thankful adults....

Anyway. I found my share of grumbling this morning. I actually found myself thinking that I wish I didn't KNOW that it is all how I take it. I really wanted to be mad at the world. But I couldn't be. I know, I just know without a shadow of a doubt, that all things work together for the good for those who love God. And I knew that I needed to just become more patient, more merciful, and quit complaining.

I remembered this: Thankfulness is a powerful weapon against all sin. When you start counting your blessings, those trials get short and light.

I still wanted to stomp my feet...but less and less. I am alive and well. I have today. There are times and seasons in life, of course, but today, I choose to be grateful.

Emily is having a meeting about the catering business, I have to leave here in just a few minutes. The younger kids are all working hard on their school work and it is quiet in here. The sunshine is streaming in the windows, but it is cold outside, only 15 or so.

oops, gotta run!