another hour....

And I'll be able to remove this halter cardiac monitor. Yay! Because I can feel that pea down under those mattresses. And, I'll get to take a shower. It has driven me crazy! I haven't showered since Monday morning right before the appointment to get this thing on. blah.

And, after my shower, it's hurry hurry hurry, out the door to the breast care center to check this lump, and hopefully the doctor will throw her head back and laugh heartily because it is SO nothing to worry about. Then she'll wipe her eyes and ask me why I am wasting their time.

My sister's surgery went well yesterday, as well as a double mastectomy can be expected to go. She most likely won't need radiation (YAY!!!!), and will find out in a week or so whether chemo is in the picture. She needs to get better, we have more adventures to go on. One of her seven girls is getting married in the springtime, which will make six son-in-laws for her! She never had any boys, but she's rolling in the sons now! :)

So we are going full steam ahead with our Florida plans! I am bummed because I never lost that extra 20 pounds...well, extra fifty...okay, extra 70 pounds. It's hard because I am determined not to let that make my life miserable, that deception that things would be so much better if I was thinner (wait, don't you have to be "thin" to be described as "thinner"?). Anyway, I need to find the fine line of being okay with myself, yet still making good choices and staying away from sugar. I just wish I looked a teeny bit better in shorts. And bathing suits...let's not go there.

After all these appointments are squared away, and the doctors have shooed me out their doors, I will dig out the warm weather clothes and start packing. It's a long long drive from New York state to Florida, and drivers are crazy! If only the tractor trailers had their own highways...

The other day I was driving in the small city, in a 40mph zone. There was a sign indicating that the left lane was closing ahead. In the right lane, two tractor trailers zooming along...then, my lane abruptly ended! I couldn't get over, so I had to stop. I thought I was going to get crunched from behind! A nice driver behind the tractor trailers stopped and let me merge, but dang it was scary. And then there are the texters. They drive and text. You can see them looking down and swerving. I do not have road rage, but sometimes...ha, when one of my kids was like three, she asked me, "Mommy, why are the other drivers idiots?"

I think I'm rambling because I'm nervous. I am nervous because I am going to a new place. I don't usually go so far by myself, and it's a new office, new doctor, and I'm not sure why I have to go there. I always feel like I am not prepared for the exam, in new situations.

Yesterday when I was out...which was all day, btw. We had dentist appointments in the morning (the dentist told me that he NEVER says this, but my two little girls are the best patients ever. He said he has people twice their age who aren't half as good:)) We went to Walmart, where I managed to fill the cart. They have these small fleecy warm blankets, marked down to $3, so I bought four. We like our little blankets in the living room, and they match nicely. I got myself a hoodie for nine dollars, and a new space heater for Evelyn's room. A package of socks, a t-shirt for Jonathan, a few odds and ends, and dang it, it adds up quickly. I didn't even buy any food. And, I forgot we were running out of coffee. oops. You would have thought I murdered someone, the way Paul and Evelyn were acting last night. Ev so nicely prepares the pot every night so she just has to switch it on in the morning, and there was only pumpkin spice coffee, which Paul hates. Good thing there were a few nice little bags we have gotten as gifts, she made stuff from the Dominican Republic that Margaret and Adrian brought back for us.

So today, I must buy coffee.

Anyway, after Walmart, we went to McDonalds. Kim, my sister-in-law, met us there. She had her two youngest children, and her three year old grandson. We sat and talked while the kids sat and talked and played a bit. It was a sad realization, but my kids are growing out of the McDonald's playplace. (and have you ever sat at McDonald's and ate only four chicken nuggets and a coffee? Fries, burgers, sundaes, calling your name?! You would think you would lose at least two pounds just for being faithful there!)

And in just seven minutes, my monitor will beep, and I'll be able to take it off, which gives me hardly any time at all to fit in a shower before I have to leave to be at my appointment on time.

Oh the fun.

And, have I mentioned that winter is back? The cars, the deck, the yard, all sprinkled generously with white sparkly stuff. If the sun came out, it would sparkle. I don't mind as long as it isn't blizzarding while I drive. Anyway, I am rambling again, I am going to get ready to go now, and hopefully I won't have anything much to write about regarding this appointment, on tomorrow's post....