Mother's Day, an Instagram field day, all the smiling mamas with their bouquets and chocolates...grown "children" feeling guilted into at least sending a text. I just hope all the mamas who had to work, or who didn't get flowers or smiling photos of themselves with their adoring children realize that social media is NOT REAL.
What moms really want is a pat on the back...from her own kids. A confirmation that she didn't totally ruin them all. Moms want kids who stand on their own feet. That's part of the success story of parenting, when you lead them to the place where they pay their own way. It's like, "Phew, another on of them we don't have to worry about anymore..." But then, as a mom, you still worry. Their hearts get broken, your heart breaks with them. They get overwhelmed, you bear it with them.
It's a balance, for me, to rejoice with them, yet not to let my very soul be weighed down when they have their personal struggles. But oh it's a battle, I understand so clearly how the man with 99 sheep left them all to find the one who was lost. He loved each of them.
This isn't my baby, it's my niece Janet's little Elouise Charlotte...she was a snuggler, I rocked her a bit and she feel asleep, but Sonja K. was bugging bugging, Please Mom, Please, Let Me Hold Her, so I handed her over, ever so reluctantly.
It's such a rush of that old Mom feeling, to rock a baby like that.
Yesterday, I found myself wishing I could just stay home and have all my kids over, but that wasn't in the plans. There was a soccer tournament, and our team did well, so they had two games yesterday...they came in second, yay! Jonathan did a fantastic job, Sonja isn't playing yet because of her knee. Anyway. There was a wedding shower in the afternoon, which six of my girls attended with me, and it was SO nice. My niece from Australia was there with her little boy, who is darling, and being among such good friends was a huge blessing. Emily made the food, and wow. Barbecued chicken sliders on toasted buns, salad with feta cheese and strawberries, veggies and fruit platters...it was amazing.
I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes, but it seems the grass is always greener. Once I woke up, mentally, and realized that this was nonsense, that I need to just enjoy where I am, and be thankful for what I have, and to help where I can help, be good in what I can be good in, then the day became really really blessed.
Cleaning up with Em and Ab and our friend Page, and playing the funny wedding shower games with Audrey and Claire, it really was enjoyable. I am simply not wasting any more of my life thinking of what I should be or would be doing!
Also this: I have decided, again, ha, that I will not wait until I FEEL like being healthy. No, I shall just go on that walk, do that workout...because I want to, and I can't listen to my reasoning. My reasoning has added to my muffin top, and caused me to huff and puff where I should be sailing smoothly up hills. So it gets no voice any more.
With Sonja Kathleen....
Miss Charlotte Claire with Little Miss Sunshine, aka Sunny.
This is a disjointed post, rambling here and there and everywhere because I have kids who want to tell me their dreams this morning, and who want to go to the library...I went on my walk today, yay me, but now I have to call the refrigerator repair place, AGAIN, our thousand dollar Samsung, gleaming stainless steel beauty is HORRID. It's too warm, the back panel is all frozen up, AGAIN. Never a dull one...