back to reality this morning....

I took a nice long walk this morning. My knee didn't hurt, so I figure I may as well. I really like walking and thinking. And when my knees co-operate, it is wonderful because then I can forget all about my body, and just let my thoughts roam...no distractions. Just the cows and the birds and the manure in the road to step around. Yeah, there are corn fields on our road.

That's the thing that people might not realize ...that when one is overweight, it hurts. Walking hurts, sitting hurts. One can never fully forget about one's body, and enjoy just living. Because it hurts. I know I pretty much got used to it. Now when I take a walk and it doesn't hurt, I am so very appreciative. It's like when I was young, and could ride my bike all over town, walk the few miles to school, walk forever up and down the beach at Lake Ontario...without suffering a bit.

Anyway, I like walking and thinking. This morning I thought about North Korea. Now, I don't follow these things too closely. Because why worry needlessly? Really, why worry at all? There is not a thing I can do about it anyway. But. Anyway, I was thinking about how short life is, and how unprepared I really am to meet my maker. I want to be awake to hear what God has to say to me during my days.

Okay. So today I am picking up three kids to take them to the dentist for cleanings. Do you think they are all thankful they get to get their teeth cleaned? Do you think they jumped up and down when they found out we are also going to Walmart so I can find some blacks pant to work at the baseball stadium? So the question I must ask myself...is how do I react to the way they reacted? I am personally very thankful for dental insurance. They have no idea what it is like to grow up like I did...in the seventies...going to the dentist was not high on my parents' list of things to do. Perhaps because they both had dentures. I had a cavity in pretty much every molar by the time I went for the first time. Can you say OUCH? I never went for cleanings. Until I got married, then we had dental insurance, and went every six months. Anyway. It really chafes me to have kids be all RRR about going to the dentist. So as I walked this morning I thought of the verse, "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."(proverbs 15) I didn't exactly react with, "WHAT? You don't want to go to the dentist? What the HECK? You ungrateful little brats!" In fact, I didn't say anything. Because I knew not to. Then Sam said, "We better not have to go shopping too!" And I just said, yeah, Sam, only to Walmart...he sighed loudly.

Because I Said So. Not a "wrong" answer, but pretty harsh.

Last night I had a bad dream - that I had a job. I was working as a nurse's assistant. I felt helpless because I didn't know what to do. Then I came home for lunch, and Paul was in the kitchen making a fabulous dinner, and all the little ones were napping. He said it was, "a piece of cake" to stay home and take care of everything. I realized that I had to go back to work, and he didn't even feel sorry for me. Then I realized I was working a 12 hour shift and had hours and hours left of work, and I was tired. THEN I realized that I would have to work during the summer...no more lazy days by the pool with the kids, or spontaneous trips to the beach...

So I started my day pretty thankful to be home...and ha, feeling a bit sorry for Paul:)