Samuel James had to go back to the Army. So yesterday we drove him to the airport. Ashley and Anya had their flight delayed from Sunday until this afternoon, and we're driving them to the airport. (Yay for us though, it meant an extra day with them yesterday, and another one today!)
And tonight, I will pick Margaret and Adrian up from the airport...they will be coming home from their honeymoon in Punta Cana.
Our weather is cold and clear, no snow in the immediate forecast, so driving conditions to the airport are fine. I hate goodbyes, but having that last bit of time with Sam yesterday was nice. He's such a good big brother, the little kids miss him already. I do too. He is just too much fun to have around.
Only a few days until the big day, and am I ready? I have no idea. I did so much Christmas prep right after Thanksgiving, to get it out of the way before the wedding, I cannot remember much about what I bought or wrapped. I have this list I wrote, but some things I wrote in code, but can't for the life of me now figure out what a few of the words mean. One thing says simply, "Target". Yes. I bought that child something from Target. But what? Why did I think I would remember that? I wrapped it all, yay me, but now...what in the heck did I wrap?
Also, I have to remember that this is a Christmas for the younger kids, most of all! The ones who still live at home. I can find myself bummed out by the absence of Aaron, and that Ben and Ashley and Sam were home earlier and not for Christmas...and that my nurses all work crazy hours...Emily works 12 hour shifts on the 24th, 25th, and 26th. Mirielle and Mali will both be able to come over for a bit on Christmas morning, before heading to work. (Abigail and Mirielle are planning to spend the night on Christmas Eve! Now that sounds fun!). But anyway, I have to remember to concentrate on making it a fun and warm holiday for the ones who can be here.
And the question we've all been waiting for:
What do I want for Christmas?
In no particular order, of course, here's my wish list:
1. To lose another 50 pounds. When I set out to get healthy and lose weight, I had big goals. I lost 70 pounds...and have gained a little back. I am still maintaining a 50+ pound loss, and it's really really hard to just do this, but I would really like to lose that last fifty or sixty pounds and really feel good.
2. Earn some money. But not have to go to work. ha.
3. I want my kids to be happy. Remember, this is in no particular order of importance.
4. Time with my husband! Oh the days go by and we rarely get that nice quality time...we function so much as the parents, and don't have enough time as a couple.
5. Puppy obedience classes for Sunny.
6. One more trip to Washington D.C. to be with Sam before he gets out of the Army in the spring.
7. Trips trips trips...I want to visit Grandma in Florida, visit Ben and Ashley in Seattle, and
Aaron in California. A long weekend with Paul, or perhaps a long WEEK. Anywhere. But as
long as we're dreaming, somewhere really warm and sandy. :)
8. I want a rainy or snowy day, with everyone occupied and happy, and a good book. And coffee.
9. I want my sister's cancer to be the unbelievably most mild "case" of cancer the doctors have
worked with! I don't want her to suffer, and I want her to live to be a hundred, so I can be
90 (ha, and Emily will be 71!), and we can be in a nursing home together and cause all sorts
of fun to happen.
10. More time with my friends! Hotel overnights, gatherings!
11. Most of all, I want to be thankful for what I already have. It's written in John 1:4, "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men..." I want to have that life in me! My deepest desire is to live in a way that can be of help to others, so they can find their way to God...to peace, to rest, a victorious life with no jealousies or grudges, no bitterness or misery.
A new coffee maker was on the list, but Charlotte Claire got me one for Secret Santa. It's downright spiffy, the coffee stays in the machine and dispenses directly into the mugs, no carafe at all, and it stays hot for hours without burning! She also got me a really nice mug, and she gets all happy when she sees me using it.
There are things I hate about Christmas, being the Mom, and the one responsible for everyone's happiness. I know, I know, I am not really responsible for that. But. Anyway, I feel such a huge pressure each and every year...I can't make the kids happy by buying them cell phones, because we can't afford cell phone plans for all the teenagers, they don't get phones until they have jobs and can pay for them. So they use iPods, and a few of them have really old iPods, with cracked screens, ect. They certainly have friends in school who have the latest electronic gadgets, kids younger than them with iPhone 7's. And yes, I would like to see their happy faces if we could do that for them. But no, they are getting boots and clothes and things like that. Things they mostly helped me pick out. They are not deprived. They are well fed and warm and well dressed. They are actually quite spoiled. And part of me, for Christmas, would like to just overwhelm them with sparkly amazing things!
Basically, the more we have, the more we want. We can show our family and friends how much we care ALL YEAR ROUND, but somehow we have this mentality that buying them gifts if the measure of how much we care. And this is my problem too! I want the kids to know I LOVE them! Love them enough to spend lots of money buying them good stuff, ha!
Ah well...enough time wasted sitting here going off on tangents...this house needs to be cleaned up.