things that hurt my heart...

 but first, this makes me smile...(that big round lump on Sunny's side is her fatty tumor, benign)

Last evening, Miss Sunny was in a playful mood, she kept bringing me a toy to throw for her.  She did NOT like when Orange Guy planted himself on her doggy bed.  She didn't know quite what to do.  Have I mentioned how much it absolutely delights me that the cats and the dogs get along so well?  The cats rub up against the dogs, the dogs sniff the cats faces and give them a few licks, wag their tails in greeting.  They will curl up together to sleep.  I think Sunny wanted to lie down though, and she is much to polite to be rude to the cat.

Sunny likes to play the game where I have her sit and stay, and hide her toy in the other room, usually in plain sight, but in different places.  She has always finds it.  As soon as she spots it and starts to hone in on it, I praise her hugely, she wags and smiles.  She really likes the game.  

My drive from the pool yesterday, the roads were nicer on the way home.

The camper...the cover all covered in snow.  The camper just makes me happy, just thinking about it makes me happy.  I told Paul recently that part of it is that he and I have such a good time together.  Then I asked him if he was excited about camping this summer.  He just scrunched up his nose and said, I don't know, I guess, and broke my little heart.  I didn't let it sink in too far though, whatever.  Then, ha, the next morning, he was all happy and excited and said, Oh, you know when you asked me about camping?  I DO like it, and I like being with you...I was thinking about it, and realized that!  I just gave him a big hug, and was thankful that I hadn't let myself get too upset about it.  He is who he is, and I love him dearly.  

The grill.  Some people grill in the winter.  We don't have ours on the deck because of the grandkids, but I bought a under-the-grill mat and am thinking of moving it up there in a corner, it's such a pain to go up and down the stairs with plates of burgers.  

Snow...it sure is pretty.

These make me happy.  Money can't buy happiness, or can it?  They're warm and cozy, good traction, easy to put on, and so far, they don't hurt my feet.  Bear Paws, even the name is cute.  

Here's what makes my heart hurt.  The kids growing up and moving out.  It means we've done our job, pushed them into the standing position, they end up on their own two feet, just where they're supposed to be when they grow up.  

I  think there are people out there who jump with joy when their kids are finally out of the house, the happy downsizing empty nesters, who can finally have things they way they want them.  They may be the same people who cheer when their little ones finally go to kindergarten.  

No one wants to read again how I lament the passing of the years and how sad it is that the kids grow up and leave me.  The other day I was telling Emily how excited I am at the prospect of all the kids attending Evelyn's wedding, I couldn't even say it without starting to cry.  It's not just an updated family picture (although this sounds SO amazing!), it's seeing them all.  Nothing brings me more joy than being with them, and reveling in the adults they have become.  

It's unbecoming to brag about your kids, but when you have a blog, you can do it anyways.  :)

I like seeing them interact with each other, and when they start talking about growing up, I can't get enough of the stories, from their points of view.  There are things I didn't know, or didn't remember.  I know I tried my best, day after day, year after year, to love each of them, and to be the best mom I could, but I wasn't perfect of course, and I was tired of course, and there are things I regret, of course.

Molly gave me quite a gift the other morning when we were at the pool with her three little ones.  She said she wished she could do more with her kids but that it's hard, and she wondered how I did it, so patiently.  Oh, I said, I wasn't always patient.  But, she said, that's how I remember it.   Ha, one of them thinks I was patient!

Of course being patient with your kids is the very base level goal there is, it's the building block of everything else.  It's where they get their security.  No matter what they're up to, the parent has a responsibility to put their own frustrations on the back burner, I did it in prayer and need, so that the child could be dealt with in a righteous way, not ever in anger or short temperedness.  I would literally hold my hands right up to God, and ask Him to help them to always be good and do the good.  Patience never came naturally, but I can say that God did give me grace and help.

Anyway, off on a tangent, but it does hurt my heart that the years flew by so fast.  The point of raising kids properly is to get them to the place where they don't need you anymore, then there it is:  they don't need you anymore.  ouch.  

But ahh, the sweet and wonderful gift of grandchildren....a chance to revel in their fleeting childhoods.  When you see your grown children as parents, and the bumps and trials and challenges they meet along the way, and you know those things will just disappear into a muddled blend of memories, and they aren't really big deals at all, just enjoy those kids!  Don't sweat the details.  Yes, you are tired, and I commiserate with you, that's extremely hard, there's no way around that.  But someday, maybe you'll be able to sleep in all you want, and meh, you'd still trade it to go back in time and be with those little ones again.  

Sleep is still quite enticing to me, and I do appreciate a good night of it.  Orange Guy likes to wake me up most nights, but last night Little Miss Sunshine decided to whine off and on until I got up and let her outside, she must have really had to go, what a good girl.  Suri is mostly deaf now, so she didn't hear me opening my door and letting Sunny out the front door. I however heard HER making a ruckus as I caught her red-pawed, rumpling through the bag of stuff I cleaned out of the closet...stale crackers, mmm.  She looked like a little black bear.  I'm so glad Sunny had to go out, to save Suri from a huge tummy ache, or worse, there were those moldy chocolate bars in there...

If I could wave the magic wand and that elusive sleep would wash over me after getting up with the animals...ahhh, but no sir, it only comes when it's time to get up.  I had to drive Camille to work this morning, I woke up on time...then just blinked and was dreaming again...why ,when it's time to get up is it so easy to fall asleep?

It's one of the mysteries of the universe.

Cam's chicken soup was so good last night.  I'll ask her the recipe and put it on here tomorrow or so.  It was hearty and filling and perfect for a dark chilly evening.  

Ah well, not sure what projects I'll be working on today...but I am not bored.  Seriously, after being so continuously busy for so many years with so many kids, a blank slate of a day is still a huge treat to be enjoyed thoroughly....

You all have a really good day, thank you for reading my rambles.  :)

a nice warm pool....

 ...after staying up way too late last night, I got up way too early.  Orange Guy woke me at five, meowing desperately to go outside.  rrrr, little monster.  I had only been in bed since one, which is my fault of course, but we had popcorn and a movie last night, then I stayed up in the quiet afterwards.  

So back to my warm bed I went, noticing all the fluffy white stuff that had fallen during the night and assuring myself that I was probably not going out the door by 7:40...

I did fall back to sleep, miraculously, then woke up and looked out to see Paul shoveling out my car, and brushing the snow off it.  Well, I couldn't skip the pool after that kindness!  So I hauled my lazy rear up and got ready.  I drove through the snow, and I was rewarded:  the pool water was warm.  I was SO glad I had gone.  

Home, ahh home.  A hot cup of coffee in my sweatpants, and oh I'm happy.  What should I organize?  I chose the pantry.  I emptied it, vacuumed and wiped the shelves, and threw some things away.  It always makes me sad to do that.  We had a snack bin with granola bars that expired last year, we had stocked up when Charlotte was in high school, and bringing snacks every day.  There were opened crackers that got stale, and some things that survived like five pantry purges and still didn't get eaten.  There were two bags of Heath bar chips for baking, expired in 2022, I opened a bag just to make sure they weren't fresh, and yuck, awful.  In the chocolate basket, (wait, you don't have a chocolate basket?!), one bar had melted on the bottom, and gotten moldy, causing all the standing bars to have mold on their ends, and I just threw them away.  Good chocolate too, very sad.  

Now the bins are cleaned up and organized, and it makes more sense.  It was a good day's work, and it feels nice to have it done.  

My next job was going to be one of the hall closets, but I opened each of them up and said, nah.  Not today.  Instead, I made keto-ish molasses cookies.  I say ish because the recipe calls for one teaspoon of molasses, I put in a heaping tablespoon.  

Oh Sweet Mercy is where I got the recipe:

Sift the dry ingredients together, then stir the egg and molasses together, add to dry mixture and stir up, then add melted butter.  The gingerbread spice mix I used was 1 tablespoon ginger, 1 tablespoon cinnamon, and 1/2 tablespoon nutmeg.  I added a splash of vanilla too.  They bake at 350 for ten minutes, but I don't know.  Nut flours burn easily, and I flipped mine over as soon as they came out, and left them on the hot pan so the tops got more done, but the bottoms were already a bit too done.  I wonder if a lower oven, for less time?  They taste pretty good though.  (I used a mixture of brown sugar stevia zero calorie, and monkfruit with erithritol.  

Anyway.  Camille is making chicken couscous soup for dinner, it's bubbling away on the stove, but the house smells like molasses cookies and the brownies she also made.  It's been a fantastic winter day, and I have no complaints.  I did some laundry, did some vacuuming, and did some prime relaxing in my chair.  

Paul is getting home from a trip to the dump, and we will be eating that soup...have a good evening!

not snowed in yet!

 But, maybe tomorrow!  This fine day, Camille and I decided to go out and about because more snow is coming tonight and tomorrow, and we might be stuck in for a bit.  The library was on our radar, and the thrift store because it's Tuesday, discount day for the senior citizens, which apparently includes me. 

Voilia, my amazing find, a vintage Little Tikes kitchen, just like the one we had when Emily and Abigail were tiny!  And, would you believe it was six dollars?  It looks so nice and new!  I hemmed and hawed, but only for two or three minutes, by the time I loaded it up on top of our cart, I was certain it was a good purchase.  I've been wanting a little kitchen for the grandkids, because ha we need more toys in here.  But if they aren't so interested or it gets in the way after a bit, we can donate it it the small children's activity club group.  

Camille found lots of sweaters and a lovely teacup and saucer, Bethany Fine Bone China made in Straffordshire England.  I bought a few books, and a few grandchild clothes.  

We went in the grocery store for just a few quick things, I tell you, it adds up fast.  

Then home...ahh, home.  I decided to clean out and weed through the shoes near the door, then was going to tackle a closet, but decided to vacuum, then sit down with a hot coffee...ahhh.  Then Oscar messaged me, I picked him up and drove to the small city to pick up Sonja's car, was having a repair done.  

Home again, and time to make dinner!  Cam suggested bacon and eggs, okay.  Molly dropped Miss Lydia and Miss Ophelia off right as my eggs were done, they were going to Activity Club with Cam and I.  Did they eat dinner yet?  No, Gramma, and I LOVE eggs, said Miss Lyd.  Perfect.  We had leftover meatballs, so I warmed up a few of those with some leftover rice for Ophelia, and they were happy campers.  I was also making a quick batch of sugar cookie playdough for activity club, so it was a whirl of crazy going out the door.  We were having a tea party with the girls, so we had to remember so many things.

The little cupcakes were from Ophelia's birthday party, I had put them in a container in the refrigerator so no one would eat them.  Cherry turnovers were not homemade, the little donuts were chocolate, from Aldi.  

Our birthday party on Sunday was loud and silly and crazy and way too much fun.  Ophelia kept telling me how nice it was, and how much she liked it.  

Aunt Evelyn with Blythe

Molly, and Josh with Denzel

Mariel, and Emily with Jamie

The birthday girl, Ophelia.  

On Monday,  Kathryn and I needed a few things from the store.  Darius ended up coming too, and Camille, and we met Sonja and Oscar there, then went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch.  It's a real and genuine place, with extremely good food.  I had steak street tacos, and oh my goodness.  The atmosphere was so pleasant, with a big courtyard-like working fountain, which three small grandchildren were drawn to.   No one fell in, so that was good.

This was too funny not to post, it's me and me, aka Miss Sonja Kathleen.  Yes, those are my glasses she has on.  And yes, she was mocking me.  Joke's on her, she looks just like me ha.  :)

Oh dear, I've gone and stayed up way too long.  I have to leave for the pool at 7:40 in the morning, if it's not too snowy out.  I have decided I just am not driving in it.  Well ha, easier said than done.  If it's super bad in the morning though, I'll just exercise here.  

I am looking forward to a day at home though, I am in this rare organizing mood, so I need to go with it!  I was talking to a lady in the pool the other day, her six kids are grown and moved out, yet she still has a dresser near her door filled with hats, mittens, and scarves!  yeah, I have some things like that to weed out too.  

One of the things I bought at that Amazon store is a set of four wax pillar candles that are actually rechargable non-flame candles.  They came with a cord, and you plug them in, two at a time, to recharge.  There's a remote to turn them off and on, or on to lower or more flickering settings.  They were only like eight dollars, and I get a kick out of them.  I also got a candle warmer, which I'll show you a picture of some time when I feel like taking a pic, ha.  It came with a nice sized chunk of the glass shade broken, but I got out the Gorilla Glue, and now the shade is turned just so... I have a new bookcase from there, wood, it was unfinished and I sanded it and put oil based polyurethane on it.  I got a round mirror with a wood frame, the kitchen light fixture, the bamboo thingy that goes under the Kitchen Aid, with little rolly balls on it, so you can easily move the mixture.  Off on a tangent, perhaps.  

It's late and it's cold, and it's snowing out.  Oh, forgot, I got new boots today!  I have not been able to find my winter boots, I wonder if they were in a bag somewhere, I don't know.  In any case, they were at least a few years old.  I bought a pair of MukLuks from Walmart at Thanksgiving time, for $17.48.  They don't hurt my feet, but they don't have any traction on them, and they're pretty ugly.  I decided to order Bear Paws, because they sell them in wide width, and they're real suede with sheepskin lining, and at $54, ouch, but not TOO ouch.  I got them today, put them on, and oh dear, so nice and warm and comfy, and nice traction on the bottoms, they're the Alyssa boots, from Amazon.  

The rich get their boots in October or November, and the poor get theirs in April.  I am in the middle I guess.  :). They were definitely discounted.  There are not too many weeks left of winter, I told myself, but it was a big fat lie.  Maybe in England, where one of my bloggy friends was talking about putting plants out to get sun, and I thought of the frozen tundra that is my deck.  harrumph.  brrr.  

So tomorrow after the pool, I stay home and get some closets organized.  The sad thing is that I am actually excited about this.  Just leafing through that Marie Kondo book has done wonders for me, but shh, I did bring a huge-0 toy kitchen into the house today, but hey, it sparks joy!  

Have a really good night!

well phew!

 What a day!  I went to the pool bright and early, and enjoyed the heck out of it.  It just feels so nice to move in the water.  Then to the small city to pick up some freshly roasted coffee beans, then to Wegmans.  If you've ever had the joy of a shopping trip to Wegmans, you'll know what I mean in that it was fun.  They have good store brands, and the produce is beautiful, the store is clean and nice, and warm.  They have certain things very reasonable, but lots of the other stuff is pricey.  Ground beef, chicken, a loaf of bread, eggs, all good prices.  Their brand of mild and hot sausage is really good and well priced too.  I had to get the makings for meatballs for this Sunday, so it was a good place to go quick.  Then, to Aldi for some other things:  gluten free pasta, Italian bread, fresh garlic, red onions, ect.  

Home, but shh, first an iced Americano from the little independent coffee place, oh so good.  Then home.  I brought some of the groceries in, and got out the Dutch oven:  avocado oil, salt and pepper, chuck roast, some whole potatoes, baby carrots, two packets of gravy mix, rosemary, water, and into the oven at 325.  (Paul was here working, or I wouldn't have left with the oven on).

Out the door I went, with Kathryn, and her littles, to the tractor museum.  (It's actually an agricultural museum)

Blythe, or Baby B, as Cam calls her.

Tenny

Rhys

Oh, the dollhouses!  I feel like I'm just a few steps away from falling into the Let's Make a Dollhouse rabbit hole.  I love toys and tiny things.

Wulf and Margaret helping Achilles with hot cocoa.  

This museum is wonderful.  They welcome the kids, and there are play areas, and lots of fun things to look at, as well as old tractors to try out.  There are a few old pianos, and Miss Margaret knows how to play quite nicely.  The annual Christmas tree display was still up, and it was lovely.

On the way home, we stopped at Aldi a second time, I ran in for two pizza doughs, a bag of shredded mozz, one gallon of milk for Miss Kathryn, two pounds of butter for Miss Margaret, and one bag of mini M&M's for Achilles.  

I said to the cashier:  look at me, smallest Aldi haul ever.  But, I confess, it's my second trip here today.  

Home again...the dinner smelled scrumptious, but we had some pizzas to make!  I cut the doughs into fourths, and let each of the older kids (Wulf 6, Ten 4, Achilles 5, Rhys 3...ha, so "old", just not the one year olds!) roll out their dough, and spread the sauce, add the cheese, and pepperoni if they wanted.  They got to choose if they wanted their whole pizza or cut into slices.  

They played with Pokemon cards and read Grandpa's new Calvin and Hobbes book, and ran around, and emptied some toy bins, then it was time for them all to go home...now it's quiet and a tiny bit messy and I haven't washed the dinner dishes.  But, it was an excellent day.  It kicked my butt, but it is what life is all about, family, and kids, and enjoying the days.  

Shh...tomorrow, another busy day...wherein I make the meatballs and the cupcakes for Sunday...and lots of kids come over...:)

The day started out freezing cold:  10 f (-12c), but sunny.  It warmed up to the twenties, the wind was calm, and no flurries fell to add to our snowbanks, so it was a wonderful day to go out and about.  Paul's going ice fishing tomorrow....anyway, have a really nice night!

perhaps I'll stay home...

 

That big royal blue blob, Lake Ontario, is a snow machine.  Wind comes across from Canada, picks up the moisture from the unfrozen lake, and big fluffy flakes blow sideways.  The way those bands of lake effect snow come down, you can have six inches in one place and a dusting a mile away.  On that map above, we are right around the "e" in Conquest, north of Auburn.  So that snow has been just coming, off and on all day yesterday, then a bunch overnight into today.  That 3-6 inches is on top of all that we already have.

The purple is the heavier snow, we're right in the middle of it.  Schools here are cancelled, and it really looks like living in a snowglobe right now, the big fluff floating down.  

I'm glad we went out and about yesterday.  First the pool for me, then home to vacuum and do some laundry, a second coffee, then Miss Cam and I headed up to pick up some things I had ordered online at the Amazon place.  Tablecloths for Ev's wedding, and some candlesticks, a few birthday gifts, a knock box for the espresso machine grounds, and a board that fits under the KitchenAid with tiny little rolly wheels so you can move that thing without a crane.  I admit I didn't know such a thing existed until I saw it on their website as a Steal Deal, and then I suddenly needed it.  There were one dollar bins on Wednesdays, so we had to rummage through those.  I found a big box of beautiful candle holders with just a few missing, 

These two silly little fake succulents, made me smile...it's worth one dollar for a smile, right?  There was one missing, as it was a three pack, so into the dollar bin it was tossed.  I bought a two pack of mini crib sheets for one dollar, a pregnancy belly support band, and a big framed picture for Camille, as well as a 24 pack of plastic champagne glasses that might come in handy for upcoming weddings.  There were countless things that were well worth a buck, but didn't need to come home with me.  

Among the things I picked up in the steal deals was something just for me:  a miniature Tesla Truck with a little four wheeler that goes in the back, towing a camper.  

I love toys, and this delighted me to no end.  I thought it was Matchbox size, but it's much bigger.  We stopped in to see Wulf and Tennyson (Blythe was napping) and I let them open it up and borrow it.  I told them it's a collector's item and to take good care of it.  I also told Margaret that I totally understand that they are kids, and if it gets broken it's okay, I'd rather see a toy be played with and enjoyed than sitting on a shelf.  She told me they have been obsessed with trucks, particularly the Cybertruck, lately.  

We set off on our trek to Oswego yesterday with mixed feelings about the weather.  The radar showed clear skies, but the temperatures were in the teens, very windy, so the huge snowbanks were blowing across the road like dessert sand, in any open places.  You'd be driving along, then bam, lots of snow in the road.  It's slippery when it's that cold out too.  Sometimes the wind blows across the road, blowing the snow, so you can't even see.  

Anyway, the radar was a big fat liar.  We kept driving through snow, and I joked to Camille that maybe it was falling under the radar, ha.   Later when I listened to the weather report, imagine my surprise:  the snow was falling super low to the ground, the radar was not detecting it.  I was RIGHT!  It was falling UNDER THE RADAR.  

We also stopped at the store, because they had sirloin steak for $4.99 a pound, which is crazy that it's considered an excellent price these days, but it is.  We got some ice cream too, because we had plans for a movie night.  Rosi joined us for dinner, we had chicken street tacos, or fajitas.  Then we watched the Steve Martin "The Pink Panther", which is always good for some laughs.

Our drive wasn't too bad, but it's not my favorite, winter driving.  No sir.  This snow should clear up by this evening, maybe a clear sky tonight so temps near zero.  Tomorrow maybe some icy cold sunshine, but no hopes of getting above freezing for several days.  Paul is happy, he's planning on going ice fishing on Saturday.  I'm happy for him, too.  

I have to make unicorn cupcakes for Sunday, and a big pot of meatballs.  I have to get some garlic knots, Italian bread, maybe carrots and celery, I already have chips and dip.  I need some wrapping paper for Ophelia's presents, it's five dollars a roll in Target, um no. 

So tomorrow I'll go out and about, today I will stay home.  I organized some drawers the other day, I can totally keep myself busy doing that sort of thing.  I have a side table I want to sand, and two end tables, so whenever I start those, I'll be busy for days.  I do not get bored.  :). Have a really nice day!

 

sometimes life is a zoo....

 ...yesterday, Kathryn had to get a few groceries, but we wanted to do something fun with the kids.  How about the zoo, I thought, perfect when the high temperature is 15 degrees (-9c), with a brisk wind.  We don't have to do the outside part...then I looked it up, and wow, the admission prices are slashed for January and February.  Kathryn, Camille, the three kids and I got in for $16!  We took our time, and it was quite enjoyable.  

The monkeys...

The grandma who carries the coats...

For me, the joy wasn't just the animals, but seeing the wonder on their faces.

This fish though, it really liked them, and it was delightful.

The bird room, no cages or glass cases, they just strut and fly around.

The kids know there are penguins at the zoo, and the penguin exhibit is not part of the inside enclosure.  Kathryn and Camille bundled them up and took them on the walk in the cold, while I stayed inside so nicely and watched our iced americanos and chocolate milks.  (The new cafe there is quite good, but we brought our own snacks).  They came back all rosy cheeked and disappointed, the penguins weren't out.  It's not a terrible thing to go out in the freezing cold for a bit though, as soon as we got in the car, they were asleep.  

We have had some winter weather here.  On Saturday, Paul needed to get some new wipers for his truck, and I needed some for my car, so he was going out to the hardware store.  I mentioned we needed coffee cream, so we went together to the small city.  The main roads were clear except for where the wind blows the snow across, that can get treacherous, and it was windy.  We were driving south of Weedsport, when all of the sudden, coming in the other lane towards us, a Jeep lost control in that snow across the road, and actually went airborne!  I have never seen anything like it.  It landed sideways, skidded all the way down across the edge of the road in the snow, came to a halt right before it smashed into a house...it happened so quickly, and we were astonished, just shocked.  We drove by so slowly, mindful of the blowing snow in the road, then realized we should have stopped to see if they were okay!  (We didn't turn around, thought by then other people would be there...)

On Sunday, some of the kids came over, and Paul made his venison chili.  He made me a bench!

(Yes, there's one stray shiny gold ornament under there, and a basket for computer cords, Paul puts his laptop in there when it's not in use).  But isn't that cool?  I'll show you a picture later of how it looks in the living room, now there are too many little odds and ends around...a football under the Ikea chair, a screwdriver, a pen, and a glasses wipe in a little foil pouch, three Christmas towels that have been washed and folded and have to be packed away, and a big magnifying glass the grandkids were playing with.  There's a light sabre on the ottoman, and a dollhouse chair, and a Calvin and Hobbs book, and at least three dog toys on the floor, along with random pieces of stuffing from one of them, Sunny killed it.

And, I'm feeling lazy.  I have had a really sore throat that seems to be on the mend now.  I did skip the pool yesterday morning.  The other night, I couldn't sleep because it seemed like a lump in my throat with a razor blade in it, so I wandered in here and had a spoon of raw honey, some ibuprofen, and a eucalyptus cough drop.  I didn't get any fevers like the kids did, but I did feel a bit tired and achy.  Now, not so much, but I still feel lazy, although it's hard to determine if that's just me, or the dark cold snowy winter.  

I stole Emily's pic from her commute to work.  It's been snowing here all morning, wind blowing.  I'm glad I have no place to go today. 

Charlotte Claire made it back to Germany, safe and sound.  I miss her too much, it was so super nice to have her here.  

This coming weekend, we're having a birthday party for little Miss Ophelia, she's turning five.  She wants spaghetti and meatballs and a unicorn cake.  Isn't that, for some reason, just so sweet you don't know whether to smile or cry?  They just are so innocent, and they grow up so fast.  Emily is turning forty next week...and I'm 59, not all that far apart anymore, ha.  I remember the day she turned five, and Paul told her she wasn't allowed, she had to stay four.  Little did we know how quickly she actually would grow up, if we thought getting to five went fast.  jeepers.  

You grow up thinking old people are old people, not really realizing that they are just people who got old.  When they nattered on about back in my day...you assumed it was ancient history, and irrelevant.  Shh, even my own mother seemed so OLD to me when I was growing up.  When Emily was born, she talked about how she gave her babies a teaspoon of orange juice, taped a quarter on the belly button stump to make sure it was an innie, fed them formula made with powdered milk and corn syrup...used cloth diapers with pins and rubber pants, which I did too, for the first six, and when my kids roll their eyes, I know exactly how they feel.  Ancient history, and irrelevant.  

Whenever I'm tempted to complain about aches and pains and getting older, I try to remind myself how lucky I am to be around, and to just keep moving and be thankful for the days.  I am seeing that I'm rambling here, because I know I need to get up and do some things, this is my prime procrastination fuel, just rambling.  So have a really good day!

minimizing....

I am NOT a minimalist, quite the opposite, although I have a strong admiration for the empty look.  The less cluttered spaces.  A few years ago I was with some friends, and one was talking about how she was minimalist, didn't want too many toys for the grandkids, ect., and another friend, to whom English is a second language, said, "I am a maximumalist!  It was too funny.  

I want to have ALL the toys for the grandkids, and all the small appliances, all the cups and mugs and glasses and silverware, yet...when I visit someone who has just one matching set of silverware, and not random chopsticks and plastic forks and several baggies of birthday candles and twists from bread loaves in their silverware drawer, I think maybe I'm a teeny bit too hoard-y.  (To be fair, we have a lot of birthdays, and I do use those twist ties...what do people do when they open the powdered sugar?  Leave the bag opened?  Wait, I know! they have a beautiful plastic storage container with a nice wood top!  ugh)

 Clearing things out is always satisfying, and I actually do it quite often.  I don't save trash or things I don't care about.  I am not actually a real hoarder, but I would like to be a bit more...simple.  We put away the Christmas decorations, and every single year, the Grinch story lines come out of my mouth..."On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire..."  The thing is, it always looks so stark, but this year, I'm finding I like that starkness.  So instead of going through my stuff and finding more to put out to replace Christmas, I'm leaving it stark.  Less is better, right?  The girls have said a few times how they like it like this.  So, we'll see.  ( I have three white fluffy blankets to replace the Christmas ones, a few white and beige fluffy pillows, one gray print snowflake blanket...)

The pool was lovely this fine morning.  When I get home, always a hot coffee, then a bit of a sit in the comfy chair, then get up and move it again.  I vacuumed, and puttered.  The plants needed some water, and the fronts of the kitchen cabinets needed a wipe.  I made a double crust for chicken pot pie, the girls are at work painting today, so I'm going to surprise them with their favorite dinner.  

The sun was shining on the beautiful snow today, for just a little while, so I put my boots and coat on and went out on the deck and basked...it felt so nice on my face.  I need to go to Florida, and it's only the beginning of January.  

The question was asked about me being converted, I'll try to answer.  I was raised Catholic.  My parents had seven children, me being #6.  I did make my first communion, but after that, our church attendance was spotty.  I did feel very holy when I did go to church though.  My little brother and I had a bible story book that we read though and we talked a lot about God.  We shared a room when we were little, and I remember our theory, when talking at night:  every time you did something good, you got a white mark on your soul, something bad, a black mark.  We would lie there and tally up, hoping we did more good than bad.  

My mother's younger brother, my Uncle Billy, was a long haired hippie, but one day, after not seeing him for a while, he came to visit, and he looked like a lawyer, all trim and neat with short hair.  He had found Jesus.  Every time he visited, he would open his bible, and it was amazing.  I had no need of that life myself, I was happy, and things were fine.  But the words he spoke really went into my heart.  

My older brother got converted first.  He went to some small Christian meetings, with my uncle and a few other people.  He neatened up, stopped smoking, drinking, ect., cut his hair.  He called us all in to the dining room one afternoon, and set things straight:  he had taken money from my dad, he paid it back and apologized...he apologized for different things, and said he was going to be different from here on.  It spoke volumes, and I was intrigued.  

At the same time, Paul had some Mormons come knocking at his college door, and he told me he was thinking about God.  I was too.  So we went to this small gathering of Christians, and I remember after that first meeting, that feeling something was missing in my life, that I wasn't such a great person.  

The gospel I heard apprehended my heart.  It gave me hope, and purpose.  Jesus came and made a way for ME!  I could be free from the bondage of sin, and live an overcoming life!  To partake in so great a salvation, day by day, year by year, it's been incredible.  I have experienced, time and time again, that God is near me, and answers my prayers.  One time when Ben was a teenager, for example, he was tearing up the back yard on his four-wheeler, like he had a death wish.  I sighed inside, and silently pleaded with God to watch over that crazy boy.  I heard a voice, loud and clear, Don't worry.  I have bigger plans for him.  This is the truth, God spoke to me as clear as day.

That path was not just a linear path for Ben, we got some gray hairs and were down on our knees, he was a challenging one, but God saw his heart, and heard our prayers, and he was with him in all of it, especially when he was in Afghanistan.  Now he's such a decent upright man, just a pleasure to be with.  

God has given me the patience I needed for just one step more, the grace I needed to be good when I felt awful.  He has blessed me when I've felt at my wit's end, He nudges me to acknowledge the truth about myself, and prods me to be obedient in the small things that nobody sees.  He has poured out so much blessing in my life, it far outweighs any sufferings.  All things work together for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  All things.  (Romans 8:28). I can say this:  it's a good life, and the very minute you are ready to trust Him with all your heart, and not lean on your own understanding, he will direct your paths. (prov. 3:6)

You can read articles from activechristianity.org if you're interested.  I don't like to preach on here, but I hope I answered the question.  

Now, I need to heave myself from this comfy chair, and go make that chicken pot pie...Miss Charlotte Claire is only here for a few more days, and I know she wants some before she heads back to Germany.  Have a really good day, and if you live in snow globe land, I hope you don't have to drive in it!  If you're south, or in Florida, can I come visit you?