on a whole different note...

 ...my friend died yesterday.  She was a very special lady, she ran my water aerobics class.  When I joined, she made me feel more welcome there than I've ever felt anywhere, like she knew me forever.  She was one of a kind, with her aqua plastic bracelets and her swimming leggings in the pool.  She was the kind of woman who did for others.  She drove her grandchildren to school and to sports practices, and to the Dollar General to get snacks, with money she gave them.  She never missed their games, and she babysat whenever their parents asked her, which seemed like quite often.  She gave me a whole pile of dresses that she had made in her craft fair days, and when I told her how much my granddaughters liked them, she asked if I needed more, she could make them. (of course I told her no!) She was always making meals for people, and bringing cookies to her church, and donating aprons or mittens to someone or something.  She did summer bible school for her church kids, and she put on senior luncheons.  

She was funny and she could tell stories about her grandchildren without missing a beat, running that class.  She prayed for my sister, and asked her whole church to, as well.  She would make the class fly by with her musings, and we all adored her.  She had us going out to breakfast together on the first Wednesday of every month, had everyone's phone number, and made us all feel so...special.

She mentioned quite often during the summer and early fall how tired she was.  I thought it was almost a habit, and didn't think too much of it.  She said it after every class.  I'm just so tired.  Then in September she told me she might have cancer, and by October it was confirmed, and she let everyone know.  She wasn't able to come to the pool anymore, so her husband ran the class.  He kept us updated, and it wasn't good.  It spread and then the chemo didn't work, and she was tired and worn out, and she passed away.  

I knew it was coming, and it still hit me like a ton of bricks.  I'll never see her again, until I get to heaven that is.  She was so lively and fun and and good, and now she's gone.  

I didn't cry when I found out at the pool this morning.  I didn't cry when I went to town with Camille after class, to get a gallon of paint for the kitchen.  (More on THAT later!).  Then when Paul teased me about something and I got upset with him, then apologized and gave him a big hug, I burst into tears...I am crying again.  I miss her, and I will never forget her.  

I won't get into all the details of the dynamics of the class, but there are two classes that go on at the same time, and our class has gotten smaller and smaller.  Some go away for the winter, some have stopped coming for health reasons, and obviously her husband stopped coming last week as she got worse, and who knows when he'll be back.  So I have been going to the other class, a whole different group of women...it's different, but it's still a good workout.  When her husband comes back, I'll swim with him, he needs friends, and probably some of the others from our class will be back.  Either way, I'll get my exercise, but it'll never be the same without her.  

My kitchen project, The Thing With The Baskets, is done except for the handles, so I'll wait on the Before and After pictures.  It looks nice.  Camille and I picked out paint for the kitchen, Sherwin Williams is having 30% off, then I used a $10 off of $50 coupon . I think the color we (she) chose was Aged White?  I'm not even sure.  But it's a creamy-ish white, off white, not quite light beige.  Now, I like a hint of blue or green in my white, but I figured she's so set on this tone, and what goes together, and so willing to repaint, what does it matter?  It'll look fiiine.  We're not starting yet, we have to spackle and sand, prep the walls first.  But Paul's going ice fishing with some friends and son-in-laws and grandkids tomorrow, and Camille and I are babysitting for a little dog named Junie, who is Jon's fiancé 's pup, while they go to Ohio to some friends' wedding.  Then we're going to the symphony tomorrow night...so we won't be doing any painting or prepping this fine weekend.

Oh well, sorry for my laments and sad rambling, I grew so fond of her...when I found out she had cancer, I thought she'd just beat it, I never thought the last time I saw her would be the last time I saw her.  Hug your friends, and tell them how special they are, and your sister too, if you are so lucky to have one.  I have a very special one, the best sister in the world.  Hugs to you, Cheryl.  :). Thank you all for being my friends too.    Good night.

another project!

 I am a second guesser.  The QUEEN of second guessing.  I have had an idea in my head for ages, for this piece of furniture, it has no name, we call it That Thing With The Baskets Under It.  We bought it at an unfinished furniture store a few years back, and I think I put some light stain on it before sealing it with poly.  In any case, I don't love it anymore. 

AS you can see, the knobs are different.  The wood one on the left is what it came with, the flower one is off the kitchen cabinets, I considered spray painting and using...then decided to just use the new pulls we just put on the kitchen cabinets...which means two holes, and these holes had to be filled.  I couldn't find any wood filler, so just used drywall compound.  Paul said it won't work, but Google says it will.  :)

I sanded the top, and will put one coat of clear coat, the rest of it will be painted the same color as the cabinets.  I don't love painting over wood, because wood is nice.  But this wood has always looked patched together to me, on the top it's fine, but the rest of it...nah.  The Second Guesses started to paralyze me, so I had to take a bloggy break.  Not really, the drywall stuff has to dry so I can sand it off and prime it.  And, the paint brushes and the top coat are downstairs, and I've already gone up and down the stairs once today, which is one time too many, in my lazy book.

So here I sit.  In the middle of a project.  The cabinet doors, oh dear.  They are all done, finished, and hung back up.  I can't show an official After Picture, because my lazy rear doesn't feel like putting everything 100% away on the countertops, plus I'm still using the paint and stuff.   I'm in the middle of sanding the wood edge of the counter top too, and it's hard, ha.  So I skipped over to this other little paint project.  Why clean when you feel like sanding and painting?  

Right now, I feel like doing nothing.  A bloggy break is just the thing.

This is why you buy extra cans of crushed tomatoes.  

One coat of primer...

And the second coat...the top is sanded but I haven't put anything on it yet.

I have to tell you a story.  Those hinges?  I was so proud of myself, I spray painted them and absolutely love the finished look, they match the handles perfectly.  Well...

Wait, tangent:  this poor corner cupboard, known here as The Broken Cupboard...true story, I have a picture of Evelyn standing in front of it as a toddler, it was broken then, don't know how long before. Evelyn is 25.   It was attached to the lazy susan inside, there were no hinges.  You just pushed it.  Well, it broke off, and well...true story, it sat in front of the cupboard...for years.  So many years you wouldn't believe it.  We removed the broken inside lazy susan, and put some shelves in there, used the cupboard, with the broken front just sitting in front of it.  When it was finally glued up, shored up with some brackets on the back, and hinged onto the cupboard, 22+ years had passed.  We still call it The Broken Cupboard.  (I think life would have been easier if we named ALL the cabinets and cupboards right from the start.  It would be easier to explain where things are to kids who haven't looked for it but ask where it is.)

Anyway.  The hinges.  I love the look.

 I wanted to help things along, half the doors were still not installed, so I used that drill and put on the handles, then the hinges, so Paul could just hang them up.  Well.  I put EVERY SINGLE hinge on backwards.  He had to remove them all, and fix them, didn't say anything, if I were him, I would have slapped me, ha, not really.  It was kind of hilarious, but then I wasn't the one doing all the fixing.  I can tell he's rather over the project stuff, he does it because it makes me happy.  He doesn't stand there in the kitchen in wonderment that we actually made it look so much nicer for less than two hundred dollars, in just a few days.  

The thing is, projects beget projects.  Camille is convinced that our blueish walls don't match the cabinets, and that we need the paint called Creamy, which is like my coffee....a little bit of coffee with tons of cream.  Even lighter, just a hint of beige.  I don't love those colors, but if she's willing to do the work, I just may buy a gallon of paint.  And of course I'll be painting too.  

Ah well, my primer is dry, so I think I'll go do the first coat of paint on The Thing With The Baskets Under It.....have a good day!

we do it all for the before and after....!

 ....and, it's not after yet.  But, since I'm nice, I will show you the progress....and some of the before and afters...

Before:

After: 

The color went from flat stark white (Alabaster), to satin creamy white (Biscuit).  The pulls are new, champagne bronze, and the hinges spray painted to match.

The coffee counter cabinets before:

And, in between ha:

The doors aren't all on yet, the tables are still scattered with doors and handles and the hinges just got a second coat, because after these were installed I saw all the spots I missed.  But all is not lost, I got a plastic ricotta cheese container lid, sprayed a pile of spray paint on it in the utility room, grabbed a tiny little water color paint brush, and touched up the dark spots, it worked wonderfully.  (The rest that aren't installed yet were given another coat).  

The little screws for the hinges, stuck in styrofoam and spray painted.

A pizza box full of hinges to have a second coat of spray paint

We did take a little trip to Target yesterday while things were drying...Camille and Sonja tried on hats.

I am a very lucky mama to go on outings with such fun girls.

Random progress pictures, that last drawer was overlooked for a second coat, so it had to dry.  Our countertops are the original light blue laminate, all the rage back when I was like 25 and it was 34 years ago, 1991 and I was picking out the latest in colors.  The edges are oak, we're going to sand them down and put some clear coat on them, try to update them a bit.

These doors have been through a lot, a few were broken and glued together, but hey, they still work.

And shh, I still work, too.  A little bit.

This fine morning, one degree out, -17.2C, I headed to the pool.  Oh ho, I didn't want to go, but I knew I would be glad I did, that the water would work it's miracles, and I would enjoy it so much.  It's the kind of cold that makes you wonder if you forgot to put your pants on as you walk down that sidewalk to the gym.  Your face aches, and if you open your mouth, your teeth will ache a little.  

After the pool this morning, Kathryn needed a few things at the store so I went along.  I got some burger in Aldi, and coffee cream, and some salad mix, blueberries.  Then a quick run in to Walmart, I got a nice new runner rug that matches the new cabinet paint, some four dollar sweatpants, and a six dollar zippered hoodie.  

Home, ahh, home.  I still have hardware to drill on to those remaining doors, and we have to clean up the kitchen...I did vacuum last night, and have been puttering around getting some things put away.  It'll be so nice to have it all done and put back together, and I can't stop thinking of my next project...maybe I'll start it right now...

But for right now, I think I'll just sit here for a little bit in the comfy chair, with Old Kitty on the arm, purring away, hogging up all my arm room.  The washer is running, and the dogs are snoring, Paul left to go to the gym, Camille is cleaning her room....I don't mind winter.  Have a good day.

home improvement is painful!

 One day she woke up without any pain, and realized she was dead.  ha.  dark humor.  I am not going to write a Complaining Post, but I will mention that my body aches, my muscles cramp up, and my knees kill when I stand too long.  But somehow we painted all day long yesterday.  

This fine morning, we'll start in again.  The cabinet frames have one coat, the ends and bases two coats, about five of the doors have two coats, but the other fifteen or so, and all the drawers need a second coat.  All the hinges are washed and are drying, I will scuff them a little with sandpaper, make sure they're clean and dry, and spray paint them to match the new handles, champagne bronze.

Remember when I redid my little coffee table?  I loved the colors together, the creamy white and the bronzy handles...so I ordered extra handles (so reasonable on Amazon!), and decided to paint the cabinets the same color.  Now, if you  know me at all, you know I cannot make a decision.  Paint colors just about kill me.  I dither and teeter and reconsider and second guess.  So when I liked the look of the finished coffee table, and made a decison to use that color, it was just a matter of waiting until Sherwin-Williams had a sale.  Then boom, 30% off, so I got a gallon.  The nice young man told me I probably didn't need two gallons, and he was right.  It's expensive paint, but I am not getting a penny to tell you, it's worth it.  The nice young man just did his cabinets in it too.  He mentioned that most people are put off by the cost.  I said, For me, most of the cost is my time and effort, if I'm putting that in, I want it to look as nice as possible.  A lot of things are overpriced and you just think they're better because they cost more.  Not so with this paint.  It's their trim enamel, and yes, it's pricey, like $85 after the discount.  But, why pay forty dollars for something that will show brush marks and not be durable?

It goes on like a dream.  Then it levels out so nicely.  

Anyway, Paul went to the hardware store yesterday to get Camille a nice paint brush, then he had to go to Walmart for some fishing stuff, he's Grandpa-ing this weekend and going ice fishing with some of the grandkids.  So he got the spray paint for me.  He has been great, took all the doors down, removed the hinges, sanded the fronts of the drawers, ect.  My own dad was a grump when there was anything to get done, so I always expect Paul to be that way, and he's not.  He's lots of fun and so hard working.

I just wanted to post these pictures so you all can see what things look like in a normal, organizationally challenged woman's kitchen during a project ha.  Also note the blue laminate countertops.  I would LOVE to swap these out for something in white quartz, but it ain't happening.  We are going to sand down the wood edge though, and put some clear varnish on it, try to lighten the color.  

My countertops usually aren't so bad, but the towels have no where to hang, and that silver tray is full of clean hinges, drying and getting ready to spray paint.  (I love reusing things!)

Every single surface is covered with cabinet doors.  They are propped up on little disposable cups.

Little Miss Camille is such a hard worker, seriously.  She knows how to paint, too.  She can open it, stir it, fill the containers, look over my work and point out all the spots I missed, and be nice about it too.  

Well it's time to get moving, here in the arctic...the air mass that's keeping us in the single digits today is from Siberia.  Well, they can have it back.  Although I do admire the sparkle of the snow when it's this cold, and the way it crunches when I walk on it.  Today, I might not walk on it.  

You all have a good day, and hopefully we'll get this all finished and post beautiful pictures that look like they belong in a magazine.  Wait, that dates me...Pinterest worthy?  Have a good day!

the way things REALLY are....

 Here it is, the newly started kitchen cabinet project.  It always seems like such fun, then:

The counter, oh well...it's how it looks right now...those cabinet doors are all coming off...hardware will come off, they'll be wiped down, painted on the back, then the front.  The hinges will come off, and be soaked and scrubbed, then dried and spray painted.  There is new hardware already purchased, so cheaply from Amazon, the same stuff that's on my coffee table.  So it's a minimal cost project, but oh the work!

Paul has the day off, and is so nicely and kindly digging into this with me.  He took the drawer hardware off, and sanded the fronts of the drawers, so Camille could prime them.  They had those upside down half cup things on them, all the rage like ten years ago.  

Most of those doors are off now, stacked up and waiting for me to get up and get moving again.  My hands cramp up from painting, and my feet were hurting.  

This is my view from my chair...all the stuff from the tables is out there, and all those drawers all primed and ready for paint.  

This fine morning, I did go to the pool.  It was ten degrees F, which is -12.2 c.  It had snowed in the night, and the roads were slippery!  I am glad I went, but I do not like to drive in it.

It's snowing out like crazy, and the temps will be dropping much lower overnight.  It's a good day to stay home and do a project..you all have a good day, and I'll check in later with tons of progress!  Well, I hope anyway!

things that hurt my heart...

 but first, this makes me smile...(that big round lump on Sunny's side is her fatty tumor, benign)

Last evening, Miss Sunny was in a playful mood, she kept bringing me a toy to throw for her.  She did NOT like when Orange Guy planted himself on her doggy bed.  She didn't know quite what to do.  Have I mentioned how much it absolutely delights me that the cats and the dogs get along so well?  The cats rub up against the dogs, the dogs sniff the cats faces and give them a few licks, wag their tails in greeting.  They will curl up together to sleep.  I think Sunny wanted to lie down though, and she is much to polite to be rude to the cat.

Sunny likes to play the game where I have her sit and stay, and hide her toy in the other room, usually in plain sight, but in different places.  She has always finds it.  As soon as she spots it and starts to hone in on it, I praise her hugely, she wags and smiles.  She really likes the game.  

My drive from the pool yesterday, the roads were nicer on the way home.

The camper...the cover all covered in snow.  The camper just makes me happy, just thinking about it makes me happy.  I told Paul recently that part of it is that he and I have such a good time together.  Then I asked him if he was excited about camping this summer.  He just scrunched up his nose and said, I don't know, I guess, and broke my little heart.  I didn't let it sink in too far though, whatever.  Then, ha, the next morning, he was all happy and excited and said, Oh, you know when you asked me about camping?  I DO like it, and I like being with you...I was thinking about it, and realized that!  I just gave him a big hug, and was thankful that I hadn't let myself get too upset about it.  He is who he is, and I love him dearly.  

The grill.  Some people grill in the winter.  We don't have ours on the deck because of the grandkids, but I bought a under-the-grill mat and am thinking of moving it up there in a corner, it's such a pain to go up and down the stairs with plates of burgers.  

Snow...it sure is pretty.

These make me happy.  Money can't buy happiness, or can it?  They're warm and cozy, good traction, easy to put on, and so far, they don't hurt my feet.  Bear Paws, even the name is cute.  

Here's what makes my heart hurt.  The kids growing up and moving out.  It means we've done our job, pushed them into the standing position, they end up on their own two feet, just where they're supposed to be when they grow up.  

I  think there are people out there who jump with joy when their kids are finally out of the house, the happy downsizing empty nesters, who can finally have things they way they want them.  They may be the same people who cheer when their little ones finally go to kindergarten.  

No one wants to read again how I lament the passing of the years and how sad it is that the kids grow up and leave me.  The other day I was telling Emily how excited I am at the prospect of all the kids attending Evelyn's wedding, I couldn't even say it without starting to cry.  It's not just an updated family picture (although this sounds SO amazing!), it's seeing them all.  Nothing brings me more joy than being with them, and reveling in the adults they have become.  

It's unbecoming to brag about your kids, but when you have a blog, you can do it anyways.  :)

I like seeing them interact with each other, and when they start talking about growing up, I can't get enough of the stories, from their points of view.  There are things I didn't know, or didn't remember.  I know I tried my best, day after day, year after year, to love each of them, and to be the best mom I could, but I wasn't perfect of course, and I was tired of course, and there are things I regret, of course.

Molly gave me quite a gift the other morning when we were at the pool with her three little ones.  She said she wished she could do more with her kids but that it's hard, and she wondered how I did it, so patiently.  Oh, I said, I wasn't always patient.  But, she said, that's how I remember it.   Ha, one of them thinks I was patient!

Of course being patient with your kids is the very base level goal there is, it's the building block of everything else.  It's where they get their security.  No matter what they're up to, the parent has a responsibility to put their own frustrations on the back burner, I did it in prayer and need, so that the child could be dealt with in a righteous way, not ever in anger or short temperedness.  I would literally hold my hands right up to God, and ask Him to help them to always be good and do the good.  Patience never came naturally, but I can say that God did give me grace and help.

Anyway, off on a tangent, but it does hurt my heart that the years flew by so fast.  The point of raising kids properly is to get them to the place where they don't need you anymore, then there it is:  they don't need you anymore.  ouch.  

But ahh, the sweet and wonderful gift of grandchildren....a chance to revel in their fleeting childhoods.  When you see your grown children as parents, and the bumps and trials and challenges they meet along the way, and you know those things will just disappear into a muddled blend of memories, and they aren't really big deals at all, just enjoy those kids!  Don't sweat the details.  Yes, you are tired, and I commiserate with you, that's extremely hard, there's no way around that.  But someday, maybe you'll be able to sleep in all you want, and meh, you'd still trade it to go back in time and be with those little ones again.  

Sleep is still quite enticing to me, and I do appreciate a good night of it.  Orange Guy likes to wake me up most nights, but last night Little Miss Sunshine decided to whine off and on until I got up and let her outside, she must have really had to go, what a good girl.  Suri is mostly deaf now, so she didn't hear me opening my door and letting Sunny out the front door. I however heard HER making a ruckus as I caught her red-pawed, rumpling through the bag of stuff I cleaned out of the closet...stale crackers, mmm.  She looked like a little black bear.  I'm so glad Sunny had to go out, to save Suri from a huge tummy ache, or worse, there were those moldy chocolate bars in there...

If I could wave the magic wand and that elusive sleep would wash over me after getting up with the animals...ahhh, but no sir, it only comes when it's time to get up.  I had to drive Camille to work this morning, I woke up on time...then just blinked and was dreaming again...why ,when it's time to get up is it so easy to fall asleep?

It's one of the mysteries of the universe.

Cam's chicken soup was so good last night.  I'll ask her the recipe and put it on here tomorrow or so.  It was hearty and filling and perfect for a dark chilly evening.  

Ah well, not sure what projects I'll be working on today...but I am not bored.  Seriously, after being so continuously busy for so many years with so many kids, a blank slate of a day is still a huge treat to be enjoyed thoroughly....

You all have a really good day, thank you for reading my rambles.  :)

a nice warm pool....

 ...after staying up way too late last night, I got up way too early.  Orange Guy woke me at five, meowing desperately to go outside.  rrrr, little monster.  I had only been in bed since one, which is my fault of course, but we had popcorn and a movie last night, then I stayed up in the quiet afterwards.  

So back to my warm bed I went, noticing all the fluffy white stuff that had fallen during the night and assuring myself that I was probably not going out the door by 7:40...

I did fall back to sleep, miraculously, then woke up and looked out to see Paul shoveling out my car, and brushing the snow off it.  Well, I couldn't skip the pool after that kindness!  So I hauled my lazy rear up and got ready.  I drove through the snow, and I was rewarded:  the pool water was warm.  I was SO glad I had gone.  

Home, ahh home.  A hot cup of coffee in my sweatpants, and oh I'm happy.  What should I organize?  I chose the pantry.  I emptied it, vacuumed and wiped the shelves, and threw some things away.  It always makes me sad to do that.  We had a snack bin with granola bars that expired last year, we had stocked up when Charlotte was in high school, and bringing snacks every day.  There were opened crackers that got stale, and some things that survived like five pantry purges and still didn't get eaten.  There were two bags of Heath bar chips for baking, expired in 2022, I opened a bag just to make sure they weren't fresh, and yuck, awful.  In the chocolate basket, (wait, you don't have a chocolate basket?!), one bar had melted on the bottom, and gotten moldy, causing all the standing bars to have mold on their ends, and I just threw them away.  Good chocolate too, very sad.  

Now the bins are cleaned up and organized, and it makes more sense.  It was a good day's work, and it feels nice to have it done.  

My next job was going to be one of the hall closets, but I opened each of them up and said, nah.  Not today.  Instead, I made keto-ish molasses cookies.  I say ish because the recipe calls for one teaspoon of molasses, I put in a heaping tablespoon.  

Oh Sweet Mercy is where I got the recipe:

Sift the dry ingredients together, then stir the egg and molasses together, add to dry mixture and stir up, then add melted butter.  The gingerbread spice mix I used was 1 tablespoon ginger, 1 tablespoon cinnamon, and 1/2 tablespoon nutmeg.  I added a splash of vanilla too.  They bake at 350 for ten minutes, but I don't know.  Nut flours burn easily, and I flipped mine over as soon as they came out, and left them on the hot pan so the tops got more done, but the bottoms were already a bit too done.  I wonder if a lower oven, for less time?  They taste pretty good though.  (I used a mixture of brown sugar stevia zero calorie, and monkfruit with erithritol.  

Anyway.  Camille is making chicken couscous soup for dinner, it's bubbling away on the stove, but the house smells like molasses cookies and the brownies she also made.  It's been a fantastic winter day, and I have no complaints.  I did some laundry, did some vacuuming, and did some prime relaxing in my chair.  

Paul is getting home from a trip to the dump, and we will be eating that soup...have a good evening!