not sure why!

 Yeah, so I was in the middle of a masterpiece post, and my typing stopped showing up on the page.  I turned the computer off and back on, and it works now.  It's probably clogged up with tons of garbage and needs updates.  I guess I was almost done anyway.  I had a nice time at Margaret's.  I got to see Tenny's new fish, and Wulf wrote me a note that said, "Stop pesterine me."  :). 

This fine day is too quiet.  I vacuumed a little, did a load of laundry, washed a few dishes, cleaned the sink, put out a few little Easter bunnies.  I ordered some candy from Walmart, and can't wait to fill a big basket for the grandkids.  Add that to the list of things I miss:  filling Easter baskets!  I loved doing that, and there were years when I filled like 25, for my kids and for another family.   They grew up and moved out and there were fewer baskets...now Miss Char and Miss Cam don't really care for them so much.  But, I do have 18 grandchildren, so dang it, I'm going to fill a big basket for the dining room table.  

I ate a spoonful of peanut butter, and had two cups of coffee.  I rode the exercise bike, and am going to get on it again in a few minutes, along with doing some other exercises.  Paul should be home soon, and we will start dinner.  He's getting more corned beef for tomorrow's dinner.  We'll have red skinned potatoes, and cabbage, and some carrots, along with the corned beef.  We will celebrate Ellis's first birthday too!  Kathryn is making the cupcakes/dessert for that.  

I strive to be truthful on this blog.  Life isn't all sunshine and roses and puppy dogs, but it mostly is.  I am usually a very positive person, and I also believe with all of my heart that God sends us what we need, what is for our very best, so I do not want to be unsatisfied with that.  But it comes with a struggle and a fight sometimes, it isn't just like a magic wand.  Life isn't always like I think it should be, or how I want it to be, then I have to learn to be content, and figure out what I can do to make it better without being a grump about it.  

It is a perfect day for feeling down in the dumps.  Seriously.  I have a few lanterns on, and the lights on in the windows, and the living room mini-split is humming with heat.  It's chilly in the edges of the room, and it's dark and gloomy outside.  It snowed last night, but it only stuck on the vehicles and deck...the ground is brown and green.  There are no leaves on the trees yet here, so they are just...brown.  I am not down in the dumps.  But I am thoroughly enjoying the coziness.  I am blessed with a purring mama cat on the arm of my chair, too.  She jumps up and has to put her nose on my nose, greeting me, I guess.  She purrs and purrs and can't get close enough.  Her favorite is kneading my sweater and making little pulls in it.  :). Also, if I stop petting her, she reaches out with her paw and reminds me.  

Sam and Samantha...

Ophelia and Denzel

Old Kitty and I....

You all have a really good afternoon!

things i miss...

 Old people and The Good Old Days, who woulda thunk we would be among those longing for them?  I was hanging up clothes today, and it reminded me of shopping in Sears.  Sears was a bit hoity-toity for us when we were growing up, but when I had my own kids, I found myself there often.  I bought nursing bras, maternity jumpers, footwear, kids' clothes, winter coats, appliances.  

I miss the mall too.  We have a huge-0 mall,  in the city, but it doesn't feel safe to me, in fact there was a shooting there last night, after it closed in the parking lot.  It's also so big, and there isn't much there that's affordable.  In the smaller mall that closed, there was a Sears on one end, Dick's on the other, and in the Good Old Days, a K-Bee-Toys.  We would go to The Children's Place, and H&M, straight to the clearance racks, of course.  They added an Old Navy, and we were all set.  In later years there was a Dunkin in the middle, with lots of comfy chairs, it was a great place to go on a snowy or rainy day.  

We would smell the caramel corn and the Cinnabon, but we never bought it, too expensive.  We would smell the candles in the Yankee store, and in the Bed Bath, and Beyond, and sometimes bought some from there.  (It was a big trick, like:  Buy Three Get Three Free!, and you'd walk out of there saying Dang, I just spent fifty bucks on soap and scent!).   We went in Claire's sometimes, they had good sales and the girls quite liked it.  They liked Charlotte Russe, and a few other little stores, as well as Aeropostale.  I liked when they had Gap and Baby Gap.  (When Jonathan was born, I bought him loads of adorable outfits from there, we hadn't had a baby boy (a live one, which is hard to say, but Robert didn't need any baby clothes, sadly) in years, almost ten years.  

Anyway.  I do miss the mall days.  

I miss having the kids home.  It echoes in here of quiet today.  Sonja and Oscar and baby Kaia went to Washington D.C. with Char and Cam for the weekend.  Paul is working on an apartment in a house we own, it's been empty for months, with us paying the mortgage and utilities, have to get someone in there!  I would normally be there helping him, but add that to the list of things I miss!  I am not much help these days.

I miss my sister, of course.  Sometimes achingly so.  I walked past the guest room, and recalled bringing the phone in there to talk to here, if the girls were out here in the living room.  It's like a gut punch sometimes, the remembering she's gone, and the nothingness now.  I feel desperately lonely, and I know I'll adjust, but there is no one on this earth I can converse with like I did with her.    

Yah, I know, I have an excellent husband to talk to, and he really is sweet and kind, but he isn't interested in the details.  And shh, half the things I talked to Cheryl about were about him, ha.  Oh, nothing bad, but husbands are hilarious in their own way.  I didn't get to tell her about the time about a month ago when he said to me:  Can you tell me what's for dinner, in ten words or less?  In other words, he didn't want a rambling answer, just get to the point.  It was hilarious, yet a tiny bit hurtful.  My answers aren't THAT boring...along the lines of:  Well, there is bacon, so we could have eggs, and we have peppers and onions, so we could have scrammys, but there is burger we should eat, but I'm not sure of the girls will be here, so maybe we should freeze that and have chicken?  I sort of see his point.  But, in any case, Cheryl would have appreciated that.

Yesterday after I went to the pool, I came home and puttered around a little.  I was discouraged, my walking is not great.  Paul was going to work on the apartment, so I asked Margaret if I could come visit for a few hours.  Wulf, Tennyson, and Blythe were very glad to see me.  I read some stories and listened to their stories, and had some hugs, and Wulf made me a coffee, with his mama's help.  

things I love...

 ...in no particular order:

Comments on the blog.  It makes my day!  I don't always answer them, and I do apologize for that, but I love getting them.

Spontaneous fun.  I think this is why I don't like to make too many plans.

Knowing what's for dinner.  Better yet, having it all made and it's cooking all day, like a stew.  

Having someone else make dinner.  :)

The grandkids.  This morning, five year old Tennyson called me, face-timed, to tell me about his fish, to show me the car he painted, stuff on his bedroom wall, what was on tv.

A dark rainy day, the gloomier the better.  This is why I like living in Central New York State, we get plenty.  I also love a nice sunny day of course!   A snowy day is nice too, if I don't have to drive in it, I love how it looks, and that quiet echo-y-ness that is unique to being outside in the snow.  

Spring.  We central NY-ers appreciate spring like no one else, especially the ones in the direct path of all that Lake Effect snow.  

Coffee.  Locally roasted is the best, but I also like the Lavazza whole bean espresso beans, and the Starbucks Blonde roast beans.  I just ordered a 6 pack of those from Amazon for $40, which is a really good deal, and we go through so much coffee.  I'm not getting a penny to say that I also really like my Ember mug, it keeps the coffee hot until the last sip, I really love it. 

Norwegian chocolate.  Now, this is particularly difficult because there is a stack of bars on the counter, and I know I cannot crack into one, or it'll be annihilated.  Paul brought one to Ray who works at the dump, and I gave the smaller Kvik Lunj bars to all my friends at the pool yesterday.  I have a few for Molly's birthday, in addition to a bag of Smash!, which is Norwegian chocolate covered Bugles, so deadly good.  We will get those big bars out when people come over, or if we really want something special.

Hand soap that smells good.  My current favorite is Mrs. Meyer's Lilac.  It smells JUST LIKE FRESH LILACS.  

Clean floors.  It is still a struggle to vacuum, but I'll do it, because I hate yucky floors.  With a yellow Labrador, there is always dog hair.  We don't wear our shoes in the house, but it still needs daily vacuuming.  If wishes were fishes and we ate them on dishes, I'd have one or two of those robot vacuums, as long as we're wishing, the ones that mop while they're at it, would be nice.  A really top of the line vacuum mop could land here too, and I wouldn't complain.  You know, self cleaning, maybe some steam, like a Tineco.

Camping.  Every time I think of going camping, I get such a happy feeling.  It's so much fun, and I love being in the camper.  It's so small and manageable and cozy.  It's coming up!

There are also a few things I do not like:

My so-so mobility.  Let's be honest, it's awful to not be able to just walk around and do what you want.  Compared to how I was doing a month or two ago, I have no complaints, but I am definitely not where I want to be yet.  What if this is as good as it gets?  What if I never am able to scurry through an airport again?  Wander the whole Walmart without dragging and limping?  On the flip side, it's better than being in constant pain, and at least I CAN walk.  There are worse things in this world.  Will this thing be the thing that steals my joy?  Steals my thankfulness?  These are daily battles for me, and I am determined that I will not sink into despair.  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, of famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written, for thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.  For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8 v.35-39).  (So, I do not like the way I struggle to walk, but dang if I'm going to let it rob me of my peace!)

People looking at me.  This was hard for me on my vacation, but hey, caring what people think is NOT what I want to cling to, so it was good for me!  This is also a big issue when going to the pool, because walking along the pool deck in my big old lady bathing suit is not my favorite even when I'm NOT hobbling so slowly on my cane I'm almost going backwards, being careful not to set the cane tip in wet spots, as it then it slides and takes me with it.  I want to yell, "Don't look at me!".  But, in the long run, who cares?  They're nice people, and I have to do what I have to do for my health, wouldn't want to stay home just because I'm mortally embarrassed.  But believe me, I was tempted!

Our deck is getting splinter-y.  When you get a nice huge-0 new deck, and paint it regularly with sealer, it shouldn't deteriorate so quickly, but thank you New York winters!  (ask me how I know it's getting splinter-y....)

Missing my sister.  This is not fun, and it is not getting easier.  We know she's in a better place, but as Sam always says, two things can be true at once.  I would like to tell her about arriving in Oslo, and our mutual friend Patty was on the same flight, also needed wheelchair assistance, and this young Norwegian whippersnapper pushed both of us at once, as if we were as light as feathers!  Patty might be rather feather-ish, but I certainly am not.  Cheryl would have gotten a kick out of it!  

A warm afternoon on the deck without calling Cheryl.  It's like a huge part of my life has been scooped out, and there's this nothing-ness.  It would sound strange to you all, with me here with so many kids and my husband who works from home, but sometimes I get so lonely!  Paul is actually working during the day, and the girls are here sometimes, but always doing their work, ect.  The other kids do come visit sometimes, but most of the time I'm on my own, and I'm seeing that I dealt with that by storing up things to talk to Cheryl about.  She always cared about the details!  You know how when you talk to some people you feel so boring?  But when I talked to Cheryl, I never felt that way.  We could converse for hours.  I do have it that way with my girls too, and I am super thankful for that.  But this is in the Things I Don't Like Category:). 

Well this is not supposed to turn into a Pity Party, is it?  No, there is much to be thankful for.  

This weekend, we'll have some corned beef and celebrate our Irish heritage, if Char finds some when she stops at Aldi after her college classes today.  She won't be here for it, as she's going to Washington D.C. with Camille, and Sonja and Oscar and baby Kaia.  

I took a break from writing and vacuumed the hallway, kitchen, dining area, and living room.  It feels better in here.  In a little while, I'll mop.  :)

Anyway.  It's that time of day, to figure out what's for dinner...you all have a good afternoon!

hello!

 So the question was asked about Norway and my connection to folks there.  Our church has a conference center there, so I like to go every year to the sisters' conference, there is such an excellent vibe!  All the thankful ladies of all ages, lots of moms, single women, older women, all there to be encouraged to fight the good fight of faith, and to have so much fun together.   They come from all different countries.  We met a lady from India, who lives in England, and had such a nice time getting to know her.   Our Canadian friends were there, and Sonja's friend Sonja from Germany, and of course Oscar's family!  

(and yes, I had a knee replacement surgery in November.  I'm the world's slowest recoverer, but to be fair, my orthopedic surgeon told me I had the worst arthritis he's ever seen, and he had to install a hinge knee.)

(In any case, I am super thankful I can at least walk, even if it's not great yet!)

This fine morning, I woke up still doubting my ability to get my rear end to that pool.  My walking has been meh, but I knew the best thing was to get in the water.  I had some anxiety about it, to be honest, but I went anyway.  In the car on the way there, I sang songs of faith to myself, about not caring what people think...it's embarrassing to hobble so slowly!  What if I fall?  All of it, garbage, those thoughts.  So I just went.

As usual, it was fantastic to get into that water.  I brought back Norwegian chocolate for all of my pool friends, and the lifeguard, which is so rewarding and fun!  

Home...ahh, home.  Charlotte Claire didn't have class today, so they were going to do something...it ended up being Sonja and baby Kaia picking us up and going to Target!  I pushed a cart, and walked so slowly I was almost going backwards.  By the end of the store, I was going even slower than that!  But, I did it.  

There were packages of 93% ground beef half off, so $3.85.  I got four, and froze them into balls in quart sized freezer bags, four to a pound.  You can thaw them and make smash burgers!  Or make chili or whatever.  I didn't get much else, a salad kit, and the girls got some snacks for a gathering they are going to tonight.  

Right now I'm having some raspberry tea, and enjoying my comfy chair.  It was pouring rain when we got homes and I got pretty soaked.  I was chilled from the pool anyway, now I have a sweater on and my tea, and I'm warming up. 

You all have a really good afternoon!!!! 

I'm baaaack!

 Oh dear, can I just say it was fantastic?  I can't believe I am not on the other side of the Trip to Norway.  It went so well, but not without a bit of suffering, but that is life.  

We drove to Newark, New Jersey, to the airport.  It takes almost five hours.  We stopped at a rest area after about three hours, and I could barely walk because of sitting for too long, but I managed with Margaret's patient help.  We stopped again to get some Chik-Fil-A to bring to the airport and eat, and an Americano from Starbucks.  

We parked in a garage at the airport, quite a ways from the elevator up to the train, so into the wheelchair I went, much to my mortal embarrassment.  We found out the hard way that if you just try to go fast to make it over a bump, it will tip forward.  There were shrieks of laughter in that parking garage, and I was fine, but oh dear.  You can't believe how many bumps there are that make it almost impossible to be in a wheelchair. (I also opted not to bring the footrest things, thinking they would just be more to carry, ec., so I had to have my legs out straight the whole time...good exercise, but not so comfy, and I felt so vulnerable that I would hit my leg against something or someone would ram into me, which did happen in the train...a guy with a huge baggage cart rammed the chair, and my leg lurched forward and wrenched...it hurt for a long time!) (on the way home)

We made it up to the train without incident, then to the ticket counter of Scandinavian Airlines.  We had to check the chair, and use one of theirs', which required a lady to push me.  Margaret came through with me, and this lady just went around the lines!  I had to get out of the chair to walk through the screening, and a very nice lady assisted me.  I told her I was sorry about the way the TSA employees aren't getting paid (politics!  so wrong!), and she was so sweet.  I was able to walk around a bit, but the lady came back with the chair and pushed me to the plane for pre-boarding, which was actually nice...because I had to walk over halfway down that airplane to get to my seat, and it was nice not to be bumped or jostled.

So, during the flight, I got up frequently, so no sleep for me.  I was in an aisle seat, and when it was time to hobble down to the bathroom, of course the turbulence started up.  Not too bad, but I couldn't just hold on to the seats with my free hand because people were leaning back, and they had tv screens, ect...so the big tall flight attendant came along, he took my free hand, and walked backwards all the way down, I was SO embarrassed.  All the rest of the times, I made sure one of my girls helped me.

We got onto the bus, and two hours later we were there!  I was thankful we had that chair, because it was a haul to our apartment/suite.  

I saw so many friends!  The first night, Miss Kaia was awake for like three hours in the night, so we were tired the next day.  But we still stayed up until after three...every night!  We had some laughs, laughed so hard I couldn't breathe, so hard my stomach hurt.  

Evelyn and Margaret and I in the parking garage...we were going up to the sports arena, where there is an ice rink, volleyball courts, ect., as well as ice cream and those yummy Norwegian Polska, hot dogs.  

Miss Kaia, world traveler...she did really well, better on the way home than the way there.

This is almost too personal to post...this is Oscar's mom meeting baby K for the very first time, I did cry.  

Margaret and I at Paint and Sip...

Our friend Joannie in the glasses (she stayed with us, and was SO much fun!), Evelyn, Emily, then on the other side, me, Margaret, Sonja...

Chillin...

Out to dinner in Oslo with this group of ladies...

In the airport on the way home...shh, I brought home a LOT of chocolate...:)

These were waiting for me when I got home...happy anniversary to Paul and I, 42 years of bliss!

I slept so well last night.  My feet were a bit swollen from the traveling, but much better this morning.  My walking is so-so, a bit wobbly, but it felt great to get on that exercise bike.  I got my suitcase unpacked and my clothes washed, mostly put away, and I vacuumed some of the house.  I went outside and enjoyed some nice weather, but the day flew by.  

The trip was made doable by my daughters being so good to me, and pushing me the distances in that wheelchair.  On the bus on the way to the hotel at the Oslo airport, I had on a jean skirt, and must have hit my leg with the poky thing on my cane, that helps with ice and snow.  The bus ride was two hours, so when I stood up and had to walk and then down the steep bus steps, I was struggling, then Emily noticed my leg, I hadn't even felt it!  There was a gash on my shin, with two big streaks of blood running down and soaking into my sneaker lace and sock.  It looked worse than it is!  

(I made sure to wash it up with soap and water when we got to the hotel, removed the sneaker lace and washed that as well.)

It started hurting later, but it seems to be okay.   

We had a nice dinner in the hotel restaurant, sang happy birthday to Joannie, and really had a nice time.  

The trip home was uneventful, but also full of little events: the trips all the way to the back to use the bathroom on the plane, and me getting patted down going through Norwegian security...i he said to stay in the chair, but he had to pat me down.  great.  my favorite.  I traveled in a dress with leggings, he asked if he could lift up my dress, and I said, "No, no you can't."  So, he didn't.  I mean, I could have stood up so he could check out the chair, but instead he put his hands under me and felt all around the chair seat, my goodness, so invasive, but he was polite and respectful, but still.  The other security guy took my cane and sent it through the scanner....I didn't know I never got it back, until Evelyn happened to go through the same line, and found it lying there...!  

So I'm home now, and hobbling around, happy to be home, wishing I could walk better, trying to be patient and trust the process, but mostly extremely thankful for the trip I had, for the hope that I had ignited in my heart from the meetings we went to, God is good.  

So you all have a really good night!

goin' bye-bye on a plane...

Traveling is so much fun, but it's equal parts excitement and apprehension.  It's physically challenging, and I have had some of my worst migraines on airplanes.  (That trip to the Dominican Republic years ago, my headache got blindingly bad, and by the time we were on the bus taking us to the resort, I got sick to my stomach, into my jean jacket...I was too sick to even ask to stop the bus...not sure if I would have wanted to get out and do it roadside with everyone watching, and there were so many stray dogs wandering around...anyway.).   

I had a dream last night that when it was time to get on the plane, the door was really small, and one had to crawl through it, through a tunnel, then the seats were right on the floor, no standing up, we were on the "upstairs" of the plane, in the attic.  It was a claustrophobic nightmare.  Then when I got off the plane, I found out that the downstairs passengers had a pool!  They squished us all in, then had a pool party.  harrumph.

I'm leaving here in half an hour, so of course I sit here for a bit then scramble around at the last minute.  I'm all packed, my carryon can only weigh 17.6 pounds, per SAS website, which is kind of cheap-y of them, you can fit like 30 pounds into one of those bags...the dimensions are right on, and when I weighed the suitcase, it was exactly 17.6 pounds.  But, I still had a bag of coffee, and some candy I'm bringing to Janet.  So I stuffed it in, and if they weigh the bag, I'll just rip open the candy and stand there eating it.  

I decided to bring the compression socks and put them on at the airport.  If I put them on now, I'll have them on for like 24 hours, I cannot.  

Yesterday, Kathryn came over with her little ones for a while, and we had a good time.  Achilles saw me walk across the kitchen without my cane, he stopped dead in his tracks, and said, "Grandma can WALK!"  I told him I can manage a few steps, but I look like Frankenstein, and that started a good conversation.  He also likes talking about the Wizard of Oz, he has an excellent memory and is very smart.  We talked about what each of the characters wanted from the Wizard.  Rhys can write letters and numbers, then Jamie drew "boys swimming".  (He's turning three next week, having his birthday party here when I'm gone!)

So I had a nice day.  We had some really good air fried chicken thighs for dinner, Paul had marinated them in vinegar and spices, they were very flavorful.  We also had a cauliflower crust pizza.  Jonny stopped in for a visit too, so it was a good evening.

Now I need to move it move it to get out the door....I admit to having a little bit of traveler's anxiety this morning...do I have my passport?  yah.  I am all checked in to the flight, i have my hairbrush and my phone charger, and my water bottle...I hate to fill it then get there and have to have it empty, and have to drink it all...I have done that before.  oh, all the things!  I am super thankful I get to go though, and I will have a really nice time...I won't be bringing my lap top, so I won't be blogging until next week, what on earth will you do without me, ha.  Have a nice day, and nice weekend!  

not too long ago, not too far from here...

Did anyone else grow up hearing stories?  My father liked to tell us stories around the campfire.  He also liked to tell us about the stars and galaxies.  He ignored us most of the time, but he was usually in a good mood when we were camping, which is maybe why I love it so much.  (Except for when he was backing the camper in...ugh)

Anyway.  This fine morning, the sun was shining out of a clear blue sky!  What a mean trick, it was only 12F (-11.11c)!  I hadn't grabbed a mitten for navigating down the deck stairs!  I have to hold on for dear life, of course.  Brrr.  To the pool I went, and as I waded down the ramp, the water was nice, a bit warmer than it's been.  

A few people I hadn't seen in a while were there today, one had a few surgeries and was out, another was on vacation.  It's nice to be back in the water, and seeing everyone again.  Getting out of the water and walking back up the ramp is part of the price I pay to be able to move so nicely in that water.  

Home...ahh, home.  I made a hot cup of coffee, put my sweater on, covered up with a blanket, then got a text from Sonja...and yes, I would like to go bye-bye.  Camille and I were out the door in no time, she was driving!  We went to Sonja's house, and got in her car.  Aldi, which was waaaay better this time, but still very slow and hobbly.  I got more brownie mix, a cauliflower crust pizza, some cherry lime seltzer, and a present for Jamie's birthday.  

We decided to go to Marshall's, which was challenging...by the time I got out to the car, I was holding Camille's arm, and my knee was not happy.  But, it was fine once I got in the car, and I was able to go up the deck steps at home just fine.  

So...home again, with an iced Americano from Starbucks, I sat here in my comfy chair for a bit, then decided to vacuum.  I ended up doing the whole kitchen/living room/hallway without using my cane.  I was pretty happy about it, then boom, the knee sort of gave way, but...I did not fall.  But I took a rest anyway.  

My legs are sore right now, all those weeks of not much activity, now getting back into things is not easy on them.  But I am SO thankful!   I am not where I want to be yet, but I'm thankful.  One lady in the locker room today said she felt sorry for me.  for ME?!  Oh honey, I'm doing great!  Don't feel sorry for me!  

I have not started packing yet, although I do have a Target bag with some stuff in it, and some other stuff on a chair...and a list.  

So, I hate war.  Men love it, women hate it.  Having had two boys in the Army, of course I can't even imagine the anguish...and I hate that this whole new military action will have consequences.  But.  Bless Israel, and you will be blessed.  And:  Iran has dealt SO unjustly with it's own people, killing protesters, ect.  Those in power were merciless. They hate America, and cannot have nuclear weapons.  I think this had to be done.  I think it might make the world a better place.  Like him or hate him, he is a good foreign policy president.  

One thing I've learned through the last few years is that we can agree to disagree, and I don't hate anyone.  There is so much division and finger pointing, name calling, like...are you still in kindergarten?   Each of us will stand before God, and our deeds will be judged.  If we judge others, we will be judged by the same measure, so we should fear to do that!  

Anyway, you guys have a good evening, and I didn't mean YOU are still in kindergarten!  I meant when the politicians get into it...ugh.