summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012
family

Thursday, September 30, 2010

quiet in here.....

Even Rosie is sleeping. Every one is so tired out by Thursday, getting up and going to school and work every day, they are smart and get to bed on time. Every one but me, that is. I am not smart. I would rather be tired, and enjoy a bit of this precious quiet.

Also, I got my computer back tonight! New keyboard (didn't really need that, I mean, who needs an "F" key cover?), cord that doesn't have to be held in while I type with one hand, and it opens all the way without the screen going blank! All for the grand total of $92! I am one happy Mama tonight.

Tonight was Open House for the elementary school kids, or Open Door, as Camille called it. One of the kids corrected her, which disapointed me...I like "Open Door" much more. The two little girls were so excited that they were going to school......so after I drove to pick up Paul from work in the pouring rain, we packed them up in the bigger van and off we went. Jonathan's class room is nice and bright and cheerful, and his teacher has some frogs in an aquarium, which I guess the kids really like. Also a nice corner with foam flooring and a big rocking chair for story reading. This teacher has had lots of our kids, and she is a sweetie. (she said Jon doesn't talk much to the other kids, but he tells her EVERYTHING...uh-oh. Sounds about right. ) Then to Suzanne's class. Suze is in fourth grade, and her teacher has also had lots of our kids. Her teacher is wonderful, a wholehearted teacher, loves the kids. She told me that Suze is extra special to a girl in the class who has special needs, Suze said she has had surgeries and is very small, and sweet. Suzanne apparently plays with her at playtime and watches over her. Teacher got all teary-eyed and said what a blessing Suzanne is in the classroom. She said she was so thankful she has her in her class. Wow. It was nice to hear. Then to Miss Sonja's third grade classroom. Her teacher is also very nice. She is very outgoing and easy to talk to, and she "gets' Sonja. '

So...home in the rain.....the kids had had a wonderful dinner of: cereal. So I made some scrambled eggs with cheese, got some of them cocoa, and we ate....at eight. It messed up bed time a bit, which surprisingly bothered me. I must be getting old.

Or it was that I knew my computer was waiting for me and I wanted to get them tucked in! How terrible....

Gramma's visit was very pleasant today, once again. She has been good to us. She brought me a beautiful sweater. I opened it and looked at it and admired it, but didn't want to try it on when she was here...because what if it was too small? As soon as she left, I tried it on and it fits fine. She has one just like it. Seriously, twenty five years ago or so I never would have believed that I would love the same kind of sweater as she does....oh dear, I AM getting old....

This computer seems brand new. I love love love it. I am going to be posting three times a day again...ha.

Tomorrow, Mirielle and I are going shopping with the two little girls. We are out of milk, running out of bananas and salad fixings, we need lightbulbs and pullups and some other things I can't remember but are very important. I always forget just a few things, so the kids know I am not perfect.

We also might have to go to the dollar store to get some snacks, because they might be going camping and mountain climbing in the Adirondacks this weekend, Mirielle and Aaron and Mali and Sam and Margaret. They have to check and see if the trails are all right, we have gotten so much rain.

I should get smart and get to bed....morning comes so quickly!

this alone makes my day...

I found this in my chair this morning...I am also glad I am not "one of thoes old and mean momys".....

My nice laptop is still being repaired, so I loaded some pictures on this one for the first time, and came across these...they came out too dark, but oh, it was a fun night.
And this is Mr. Jonathan, before school started...I think he either needs new jammies, or we have to cut the footies off this pair.

So what's new? Abigail was over last night, she is looking to buy a more reliable car to drive to the big city every day. She knows as much about cars as I do, so when she mentioned that one car had nice cupholders, I decided she is not allowed to purchase one without Daddy there.
Paul is back safe and sound from Boston. I have to go pick him up from work this afternoon, as he drove the company vehicle to Boston....he needs to be picked up at the exact time that elementary open house starts, and the exact time Mali is scheduled to have her senior pictures taken. (Mali wants OUT of high school, so she is doubling up and graduating this year. The papers are all signed, she is officially a senior now, so I have two kids graduating this year, her and Aaron)....I am trying not to stress about it....it will work out. I can have Joe or Aaron or Mirielle take Mali for her picture, or to pick Paul up.
The immediate stress factor here, though is that my dear mother-in-law is coming over, any time now...and here I sit...I need to be scrambling around shoving dirty socks under the couch and throwing things into the closet! Oh, if she ever reads this I hope she knows it has nothing to do with her, it is me...as I told Mirielle this morning, a perfectly good rainy day is wasted because I have to tidy the place up......not that I don't like it nice and tidy in here, I just don't feel like actually doing it. blah. again. But I will, because I can't have people thinking, I mean KNOWING what a bum I am. The funny thing is that if Eleanor DOES read this, she will probably think, "She CLEANS UP before I come over? HA!" HER house is...immaculate. The kind of place where the newspaper disapears the very day it is read, they never save it just in case. No clutter, no piles. Freshly painted and scrubbed and clean and magazine -like. Okay, this is making me realize I have to get busy....


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

breakfast was wonderful....

Scrambled eggs and bacon, hash browns and raisin toast, and a blueberry pancake. Way too much, but boy was it good. Lots of coffee, too. The best part was the laughing and talking and knowing I am not the only one who has trials. These ladies I had lunch with have certainly had their share...Kim has 12 kids, one of which is a cancer survivor, and Angela has 8 kids, her husband had cancer and these last two years have been very difficult for her....he is still very tired and cannot work...but everyone has their things they have to suffer with, things to test their faith, God sends rain on the just and the unjust. It is somehow comforting to get together and swap stories though, and encourage each other that just this moment, to be faithful in this moment, and leave tomorrow up to God....

So after a trip to the dollar store (how could I possibly have bought FORTY-FOUR things???!) , we went to the grocery store where I handed my two friends coupons and money and had them go through the line for Pepsi and Mountain Dew....5 for $10...for the next conference weekend grill. It was nice to get 15 twelve packs all in one day. Now I just have to get candy candy candy again...

I bought a can of red paint in the dollar store. I am going to repaint two ugly yellow chairs. I don't know if red paint will make them pretty, but it will be fun finding out.

My two little girls have made such a mess in their room. Clothes and dolls and doll clothes....they love to play in there, and it just occured to me that since the room is already messy, I don't have to worry about them making a mess. Unless they decide they need some water for their play kitchen....or diaper rash ointment for their dollies....I guess I better still keep an eye on them. They are rascals. I went in to check on them a few minutes ago, and Camille told Charlotte Claire, "My baby isn't dead anymore..." Okay.

Joseph is painting his room brown. Dark nutmeg. I haven't looked at the finished job yet, but he says it looks horrible. When cleaning, he must have come across a set of small megablocks. He must have given them to the little girls. They must have dumped them all over the living room. I want to pick them up and give them to a different family. Stepping on small legos and megablocks...not fun. Uh-0h, I am getting old.

It is depressing sometimes when I look around and the same old things have to be done, again...and again and again....I assign things and dole out jobs and we clean up and...what the heck? it is messy again, just like magic. Are we all slobs, or is it just that we are all just a bit sloppy and add it all together and MESS...?.I don't know. I just get sick of it sometimes. And sometimes I say that "one of these days I am just going to give up and let it be messy..." But they don't believe me.

Paul will be home from Boston tonight. I am excited to see him, and glad he will be home, although it was fun to be the boss for a few days. ha, like I am not always bossy. Anyways, the nice thing about him going away is that he comes back....that we miss each other after all these years is pretty sweet.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

if the phone rings, kids, don't answer it...

It might be the dr.'s office calling to tell us the results of Kathryn's xrays....

Oh, we had a fun day. To the dr. with Kathryn and Suze, and Charlotte Claire and Camille, and Joseph... then to the hospital for xrays because the diagnostic imaging center in the dr. office building was closed today....la-de-dah, it took forever....good thing for baggies of pretzels and sippy cups. Then I took them to McDonalds to play on the playground because I am nice, and because I was hungry and really wanted a coffee, and because it was after one and Joe hadn't even had breakfast yet. We watched a mommy climb all the way up the play structure to rescue her crying toddler. No, it wasn't me.

Then to Walmart to buy paint for Joseph's room. He wanted black. I texted Paul in Boston. He texted back, "ugh!"....so Joseph decided on brown. Okay, brown. Two gallons of brown paint, a few new paint rollers, a three dollar red desk lamp, a five dollar red lamp-on-a-stick, and a two dollar red framed mirror....for about forty bucks Joe will have a nicer room.

We also got some one dollar flip-flops, milk and bananas and oops, I forgot the eggs, lettuce and tomatoes and a big bag of those frozen pretzels the kids like so much.

Home...and I have a huge headache. I hate coming home from shopping with stuff to put away right when they are coming home from school, especially when I left in the morning without doing much. At least I don't have a nursing baby that needs feeding immediately...ha, I would take one in a minute. Anyway, things are all in order now, I swept the kitchen and living room Margaret did the dishwasher, Sam took out the garbage, and dinner is in the oven. I put in seven pounds of chicken breast, and I am going to make some stir-fry vegetables. Possibly there will be some left for dinner tomorrow.

I have to get moving to go pick up Mali from cross country. I think I might stop at the library....hmm. I LOVE the library....speaking of love, while at the hospital today I started thinking again about nursing school...I like the atmoshere of the small hospital we go to , I would like to work there....

liking what I do, not doing what I like...

I suppose if I could do anything I wanted to today, I would...hmm, I don't know. Sure, it would include coffee and a donut, and probably a good book....nah, if I could do ANYTHING, it would be taking a pregnancy test and having it positive, and signing the papers for a larger cleaner newer house. ha, if I am dreaming, I may as well dream. Last night I had a dream that I signed a contract for a book, and all I cared about was the signing bonus, $200,000 so that we could buy a new house.

Anyway, what I am really going to do today is call the dr. about Kathryn's foot. She was doing gymnastics, and landed with her foot wrong and her toes went the wrong way. Two toes are swollen, and part of the top of her foot is bruised. hmm. There isn't alot that can be done for broken toes but what if part of her foot is broken and I didn't bring her in because....just because? So...I will try not to think about insurance and deductables and x-rays and money and just bring her in like a good mommy. I promised the two little girls a trip to the library, but I don't know if that will happen. Suzanne is home today because she got up and got dressed and then remembered she had a subsitute teacher, so she took her school clothes off and put on an old Hannah Montana t-shirt...I never agreed to any of this...but here she is, along with Kathryn....

Last night, because Paul is in Boston for a few days, I made French toast for dinner. I was very generous, I made forty pieces, some with white bread and some with wheat. I made the kind of syrup some of them prefer, which is butter melted and brown sugar stirred in. Well, they ate it all down like there is no tomorrow, plus Abigail stopped in and I put some aside for her (she picked up Jonny and went to test drive a car)....anyway, the four heaping plates of French toast were soon empty, and I, being the nice mommy that I am, got up and made ten more pieces. It was the boys, the big boys...Joseph, Aaron, and Sam. They told me I didn't have to make more, but Sam...well, Sam DID want me to make more. As I stood at the stove, I reminded them to remember this moment when they grow up and are rich. I am purposely deleting the part in this story where one of the girls said they did NOT need any more and that I shouldn't make more, and we all started calling her a Meal-wrecker....(a Meal wrecker eats only a salad and makes everyone else feel guilty. Or just a tiny bit and says how stuffed they are....) We were only kidding, but I guess she didn't like it, when I told her it was just how brothers were, she told me it wasn't THEM, it was ME. ME? The NICE MOM? huh? ouch. I told her I was totally kidding. eeks. I needs to be more careful, I guess.

Last night Camille and Charlotte Claire were doing one of their nightly routines, running around like crazy. Then they climbed into the chair to see in the mirror, and Camille somehow fell out of the chair, and landed head first on the wood floor. I saw it happen, it seemed to go in slooow motion, her head hit, then her body, and I thought....oh my goodness, I though alot of things in that one second....she had a huge bump on her head, but did not want me to hold a bag of broccoli on it, she was fine. She sat with me for a bit, but wanted to get down and run again. It crossed my mind that this was what happens when I know I should wash my hair and decide to stretch it to the next day because ..."I am not going anywhere..."

Because we all know that accidents only happen when we wear the rippy underwear or our hair is needing a wash.

My kids were looking in the 'fridge last evening and asking when I am going to the store. I went twice last week, spent over $300. We should be good for a month. But we are almost out of eggs, there is less than a half gallon of milk, and I used most of the bread last night. The kids gage whether I need to go to the store by the availability of quick things like bananas and bagels and waffles.

I missed Paul this morning. He always makes a pot of coffee. This morning I made myself a cup of instant.

Camille...oh my sweet little spoiled little Camille. She doesn't take naps anymore, but is so cranky between afternoon and bed time. So yesterday I took her in with me to lie down. It was rainy and overcast, the perfect day for a little nap. She could NOT lie down. NO, Mommy, I CAN'T! She told me this over and over again. She cried and cried and finally I took her and hugged her and she relaxed and cuddled with me and she was out in a minute flat. I dozed and watched her sleep and admired her chubby cheeks and wondered how she could be so bratty. She slept for over an hour....then she stayed up quite a bit later than usual. But at least she was happier in the afternoon/evening.

Ouch ouch ouch, Joseph weeded out some things from our storage room/his room. He has the room that was not meant to be a bedroom when we built this house. We only had five children then.....anyway, we have no garage (aside from a metal framed thing for the lawn mowers) or attic or basement....so we have storage shelves in the big room downstairs....and then there was a Combi stroller and a PegPerego double stroller and a PegPerego bouncy stroller and the frame of a German pram and the exersaucer and lots of other things....I told Joseph to go ahead and get rid of them....ouch. I did save some things...I still have three or four or possibly five prams...and a side by side Emmaljunga, a small Inglesina, and a Maclaren umbrella stroller.....for the grandchildren, I guess....

Tomorrow: I am excited about tomorrow!!! I am going out to breakfast with Kim and Angela and maybe my sister Cheryl. Joseph is going to watch the girls. Yay. We will talk and eat and drink coffee and drink more coffee and talk some more. I shall behave myself, I shall not gossip, I shall not dominate the conversation, I shall be a good listener and I shall not argue. I shall not brag. Hopefully we will all come away from our breakfast more encouraged and strengthened in our faith, and with more love for each other.

Monday, September 27, 2010

dreary rainy morning...

My favorite kind of morning. I would like to have stayed in bed, all snuggled up, with a good book. Jonathan was in that same mindset this morning, he did not get up until the last minute, then barely made it onto the bus in time. Poor boy.

The weekend is over, and it was a good one. I decided to take the younger kids to the movies on Saturday, to the "cheap" theater where the tickets are $1.75....the movie, "Despicable Me" was playing...anyways, we would have had to really speed to get there on time, I realized once all ten of us were in the van driving down the road. So I suggested we go to the Chinese buffet instead, and they were jumping up and down in their seats. They were especially lively, my dear children. Kathryn, 12, and Evelyn, 11, sometimes get so silly they cannot even look at each other. Sam likes everyone to behave so people don't look at us, and I must say I am with him on that one...but I have learned to relax a bit, he hasn't. He was trying to keep them in line. I tried to explain to him on the way home that they weren't really being bad, it was just because there are so many of them....mostly they were silly, and laughing and talking loudly. Once I told them all to "shh" just for a minute, and the place was silent. That just made them laugh all the more. I'm telling you, once they all get the idea to make ice cream mustaches, I am doomed.

After a fun and exciting trip through the grocery store with them all for just a few things, we headed home.....Paul and Emily and Abigail and Mirielle and Joseph and Aaron were coming home from the dome, and Mali was there, and Ben came over with Ashley. Paul and Ben watched a football game while the kids ran around and showed off for Ashley, and got some attention from Emily and Abigail....then we watched, "The Cat In The Hat", which the older kids think is hilarious. I wonder if Ashley thinks we are all crazy.

Yesterday after church, Emily took lots of the kids apple picking. They came home with 32 pounds of apples, and Em had one thing on her mind: pie. I was in the midst of making four pizzas, and there was already a considerable flour mess, so what the heck....the girls started peeling apples, Mali made the pie crust, while Charlotte Claire and Camille "cheesed" the pizzas for me, which included stuffing their mouths with as much cheese as they could fit. Emily kept tossing them apple slices too. I had to tell myself that the mess could be cleaned up, just to enjoy the kids. It certainly WAS fun. And the mess...well, it got cleaned up....along with two pans from the ten pounds of chicken wings I made the night before, and the stew pot, and the general dishes just from so many people eating....it seemed like I was in that kitchen all day...but it was good.

It was great spending so much time with Emily this weekend. Abigail, too. They are good girls. 1 John 3:1 "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we shall be called the children of God..." I have said this before, but it bears repeating: the sufferings and work and challenges and tears of raising the kids cannot compare with the joy it brings when they grow up and are my friends. I haven't always been the best mother, I cut corners and forget about spelling tests and my towels and sheets are shoved into the closet, very un-magazine like.....my clothes monster on the couch is alive and thriving, and I am behind on just about everything this Monday morning. I don't have a schedule, and my kids don't have chore charts. I am always a day late and a dollar short, but....I am learning. Learning that yes, the place has to have a certain order so that it is pleasant to be here. (and I hate STICKY so, that is taken care of...I just hate sticky. And crumbs...I hate crumbs. I cannot walk in crumbs) Anyway, off on that tangent again...., God has been very good and merciful to me. Because I know the way of salvation. It is the key to everything.

So....I never took pictures on Saturday...I should have. I also should have taken pictures last evening. We didn't have an official sit down Sunday dinner because of pie construction, so when the first pizzas were done, Suzanne made a "restaurant" for the two little girls. She covered their Little Tikes table with a towel, got out some of those battery-operated candles (kids LOVE those things, a great Christmas gift idea...they can pretend with them, or sleep with them...like a night light, right in their beds....our kids like to close all the doors in the hall and make it dark, drag a pile of blankets and some of those candles and play "storm"....)anyways, tangent, Suze served the little girls their dinner and it was picture perfect. They had gone to visit Grandpa and Gramma with Paul earlier, and still had their little matching jumpers on....I thought of taking a picture, but....oh well.

Right now they have their blanket sleepers on and are playing dollhouse. I just made Charlotte Claire laugh because Camille has a dollhouse daddy and a dollhouse mommy, and they are hugging. I told them that I like to hug daddy like that because he is like my boyfriend, and I married him and I love him and I think he's cute.

Does it sound like it is always mayhem in our house? Sometimes it is...but usually it isn't. They aren't allowed to jump on the furniture or slam the doors...and the television is not on very much, only when a specic show is on, not just for background noise...and it is always turned down during the commercials....they are not supposed to walk around and eat, although I do look the other way when the older kids come home from school and storm the kitchen...but it isn't always crazy in here....

Rosie is asleep on my foot, so I have one cold foot and one warm one. Camille and Charlotte Claire need a bath, and want a bath, and need attention, and want attention....

Saturday, September 25, 2010

saturday!!

Today has been a good day so far. I got up and took Miss Rosie out for her little walk, mentioning that we had to go bye-bye...she knows what that means, so she stopped at the minivan on the way back and stood there wagging. (she also knows the phrase, "no, different vehicle", when I say that she goes to the next car in the driveway)....we had to take Mali to the school by eight for her cross-country meet. As soon as we dropped her off, Rosie hopped into the front seat.

It is cloudy today, and much cooler than yesterday, (it reached 90 yesterday)....while driving today I saw a large crack in the clouds, with sunbeams streaming out all the way across the sky, from those clouds right to the ground. It was magnificent.

Last night Emily and Abigail came over to watch, "Clash Of The Titans"...I looked around the living room, and was so thankful. I would have liked to snap a picture, but they wouldn't have liked it. Ten kids, sprawled and relaxed, snacking and commenting on the movie, cracking jokes and shushing each other. Emily and Abigail and Mirielle and Joseph and Aaron and Mali and Samuel and Margaret and Kathryn and Evelyn....Benjamin was here for a bit but left to be with Ashley. Anyway, looking around the room, I thought, "this is NOW. This is good....I am blessed."

Today, I shall take pictures.

Today I shall learn to put them on this different computer.

Today I would like to learn how to use the scanner and put some older pictures on here....

Today we are going to the library.

Today, Paul and Emily and Abigail and Mirielle and Joseph and Aaron are leaving for the dome to do fundraising....they will be gone from noonish to 8-ish.

Today I shall make a pot of beef stew.

Today I shall make a dent in the laundry....there is a small mountain of bedding in the doorway of the laundry room.

Today I shall think before I speak, especially when dealing with the 11, 12, and 13 year olds. And perhaps with my 15 year old, too. I think of it as learning to "Tiptoe through the Teenagers..." they are SO easily provoked....my goodness, it is like they go through this stage where they are just waiting for an excuse to get stompy and misunderstood. I am learning to speak to their hearts, and have mercy on them....is it really the end of the world if a door gets slammed and I don't go after that one and straighten them out? Isn't it better to wait until that one calms down? Usually. They don't want to be at odds with the world. Or with me.

The geese are flying south. Autumn is back. One of the small maples in the front yard is brilliantly orange and red. We are thinking of making apple pies tomorrow.

Jonathan and Charlotte Claire are up watching Saturday morning cartoons. The commercials are all for toys that seem way nicer than they are, and sneakers that make kids kids cool and fast, and yogurt that is just magical. The good thing is that there are commercials for Zhu-Zhu pets still, they must still be popular, which means I will be able to sell the stack of them I have in Mirielle's car trunk, on ebay. The bad thing is that Charlotte Claire saw them when I bought them, and when she sees the commercials, she says, "That's the one I have!"....news has spread, and they all think they are getting them for Christmas. They think I am just trying to fool them by saying I am selling them on ebay. So if I follow through and actually sell them, I will be a meany.

Last evening we had a "spa".....Evelyn - 11, Suzanne -9, Sonja - 8, Charlotte Claire -4, and Camille, almost three....(Jonathan just thought we looked "ugly"), and I....the girls went downstairs and collected things from their older sisters....the hair straightener and curling iron and hair dryer....and nail polish and make up...my girls don't wear make up, except for Mali, who wears some eye stuff. They use it just for fun sometimes, and Halloween. ....I considered taking pictures, but children with make up on, yuck. It was so much fun for them though. We had the lights low and lots of candles lit, and we laughed at each other. Jon was hilarious, he would come out and look at us and tell us sincerely how awful we looked....I told them how beautiful they are without all that stuff on, and how it is what is in their hearts that makes them so lovely.....

Lots of kids are up now, and I have things to do....

Friday, September 24, 2010

happy friday!

Everyone went to school today except for Evelyn Joy. Her heel hurts. She doesn't feel well. hmm. The second trip bus hasn't arrived yet, but the three younger kids are out there enjoying the morning. Rosie is lying tolerantly in her cage, like she does every morning so she cannot escape and chase that big yellow monster that steals our children. Hey, Rosie and I think alike!

Yesterday.....Mirielle and I ended up going on a little shopping excursion. She came home from class and reminded me she had to get her car inspected. The first time she tried to get it done, the Valvoline place had run out of New York State inspection stickers. So yesterday I dressed the little girls, brushed my long tangly hair and put on some bye-bye clothes....but she couldn't get her car inspected at the place in town because something or other was down, and she should come back in a day or two, blah blah...New York state law, yearly vehicle inspections...poor girl is TRYING to obey, albeit just to avoid a ticket.

Anyway....we went to the mall, which we both hate. The two little girls thought we were going to the library, they were just latched to that idea, so we stopped there first. It is a big beautiful library, and I still can hardly believe that for free, one can bring home FancyNancy books, and the Shaggy D.A. movie, and a lift-the-flap book, and Anna Quindlen's latest novel....

The little girls are fascinated with that library. They like to do the wood puzzles and look at the finely detailed dollhouse in the glass case. They also like the special children's bathroom, and little drinking fountain.

Then on to the dreaded mall. We went there on a tip from Kim, that there were Zhu-Zhu pets with cage thingys, for $5.50. We got the whole stack of them, plus $40 in gift cards for free because we spent $50. Now if I can just get them onto ebay without the kids seeing them and wanting them for Christmas. Zhu-Zhu pets.....I thought they were stupid until I saw how cute they are. They make this little sound when you pet them...

Then to the grocery store....(I excercised some self-control, for once, and stayed the heck out of Target!)....I think I got the meat dept. guy in trouble. There was a coupon for stew-beef, $2 a pound. The packages were tiny, and the coupon was for one package, but no limit on the size. So, since they have a full service meat dept. in addition to the help-yourself section, I asked for a large package of it. The guy just grabbed two smaller ones and said they would do. Okay. At the register they made a huge deal about it and said I couldn't get both. I told them I showed the coupon to the guy back in the meat dept., and he really didn't care, just didn't seem to want to be bothered to package up a bigger one. The manager and the cashier were so mad at him! I told them I didn't want to get him in trouble, he just seemed busy and distracted...they were doubly mad. rats. I hate getting anyone in trouble. The manager let me have both packages. I thanked her. She knows me. She knows one package wouldn't do it for us.

So we came home with stew beef and carrots and potatoes....tomorrow it is going to be much cooler than today, which is going to reach almost ninety. I planned to make this nice stew tomorrow, then I realized that Paul, Emily, Abigail, Mirielle, Joseph, and Aaron are all working at the football game at the Carrier Dome. They won't get home 'til 8 or 9, and they get some food for working there... Oh well, stew for just the rest of us.

I buy cheese in five pound bags, shredded mozzarella, and cheddar, for $9.99 a bag. If I buy pizza doughs for around a dollar each, for four, I can make pizzas so cheap. Yes, I know I can make them cheaper if I make the dough from scratch, I have done that but it is quicker to throw it into the cart...

I am boring myself here.

Today.....our beach plans never got off the ground. I don't know if I will end up going with the girls here and Mirielle, or if we will just stick around here and play. Mirielle still wants to go. I don't know. The kids are at school, should I pick them up? I don't want to lie to the school, but I also don't want to say that I am picking them up to go to the beach....

Thursday, September 23, 2010

to the vet and the store....

Yesterday I made a few phone calls...those calls I knew I had to make but...one call was to the ob/gyn for a "yearly"(ha) check-up. Who on earth wants to go there? Not me. But I made the appointment. After all, my mother had breast cancer in her forties, her mother died of it when she was her thirties, so I suppose I should have a mammogram one of these days. Another call I made was to the vet. Rosie has had yucky stuff in her eyes for a while, and the over-the-counter flea stuff I have been using on her does not work. The vet just happened to have an opening yesterday, so Joseph went with me and helped with the little girls while I managed a spastic Rosie. The parking lot alone was smell-heaven for her. Then the waiting room...oh my goodness, there was a kitten in there, in a cage! A free-to-a-good-home kitten...hmm. Anyway, Rosie was pretty excited to be there. I was nervous. But when we got into the exam room, she loved the vet and her assistant. She sat there and behaved herself while they held the pressure gauge to her eyes, and put tear strips right under her lids, drew blood, gave her a rabies booster, and snipped hair from her ears. They kept saying what a good dog she is, and I was proud of her, but still nervous she was going to get sick and tired of everything and snap at someone.

Joseph waited in the van with Miss Rosie while I took the two little girls into the grocery store for milk. $148 later, we had our milk. Charlotte Claire and Camille walked and held on to both sides of the cart. It seems like just yesterday I had so many little ones in the cart I had no room for groceries....(I see all those infant car seats filled with all those sweet babies, and I want one)

Our dinner was so good last night that some of the kids suggested we just eat it every night. I made up six pounds of taco burger, and served green peppers and tomatoes and lettuce and cheese and salsa and hot sauce and lime tortilla chips and tomato-basil tortilla wraps.....with French onion dip, for those who like sour cream, because it was all we had.

Emily came over last night, but I was a good girl and went to bed by eleven, even though I could have stayed up for hours and talked to her. She works tonight, but then has a few days off, yay! Saturday night we are having a "family party night"! Oh, the hard work and the toil of the early years is nothing compared to the joy and fun we have together these days.

There are trials of course. Yesterday a few of my girls banded together and started acting rebellious towards me, and behaving like all the rest of their siblings were against them. I don't mind so much when they get extremely silly, but this was silliness plus attitude. Bad attitude. They also took off on a walk down the road without permission, and acted like it was no big deal. I separated them and told them no computer for the evening. They both apologized to me later, and we talked about things....they are such funny girls. I hope I gave them the message clearly that we won't tolerate that attitude without dragging punishments on into the next day.

I don't believe in long term punishments. I like to get the message across and give them a chance to put things right as soon as possible and get on with life without dwelling on being grounded or losing computer time. Ma Ingalls used to say, "Least said, soonest mended", and I think that is so true.

And of course the younger ones get tired, and getting them all brushed and cleaned up and read to and cuddled and into bed isn't always smooth sailing. There are tantrums. There is bedding to be changed that should have been changed in the morning, oops. There are things they HAVE to do before bed. There are things they HAVE to sleep with.

Today, the two little blanket jammied girls have decided to play store. I still haven't put all the things away from last time they played. They took pasta and canned soup and sauce from the closet shelves and set up a whole store. I just told them if they want to play store, they have to only sell toys and books today. It is incredible how much just these two can mess this place. I try not to see it just as a mess of course, they are playing and pretending and having fun. And learning, slowly by slowly, to clean up what they get out. It seems like they can take it out WAY easier than they can put it back though....

It is supposed to be extremely warm and humid and nice tomorrow, in the high eighties. Mirielle gets home before noon, so we are thinking of picking all of the kids up early and going to the beach for one last hurrah. If you areone of their teachers and are reading this, just think how much they would learn, being packed into the big van together (learning how to get along) and playing volleyball on the beach and soccer and taking the littler ones to the playground. Diving into the canal and making sand castles and perhaps catching a few fish. Spending time together and with me and getting some delicious and healthy vitamin D filled sunshine....

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

everyone went to school...

At least I think they did. I got up just in time to see the first trip bus drive away..oops! I woke up the three little school kids and took the bad dog out for her walk, then got them ready....there is only like an inch of milk left, but there was enough for cereal. I feel bad I wasn't up for the first trip kids. Even though they're older, I like to make sure they grab something for breakfast. Bagels and bananas are perfect grabbers. Why some of these kids sleep until the last minute then fly out the door with their laces undone and jackets in hand, ever single morning, is beyond me.

Last night I stayed up too late looking at Carribean vacations. I tried to figure out, just for the heck of it, how much it would cost to bring all 18 of us. It would only compute up to six people. That's okay, six people was too expensive so I don't think we could pay triple that.

I left the dinner table last night to give the dog a bath. She just plain needed one. It was quite fun, Sonja got right in and helped, and the two little girls stood on the side of the tub and watched. Then we brought her outside in the dusk and played fetch and chase with her so she dried off a bit....she can run, that bad dog. I brushed her a bit last evening, and she looks so nice. I always say that people are 37% nicer to her when she is all clean and brushed.

This is perhaps one of those days when it is obvious I don't have much to say. So I'll update on the kids....

1. Emily - I have no idea. She hasn't had any time off for a few days now, but I did hear that Kathryn is planning a "Clash Of The Titans" party with her for this weekend.

2. Abigail - she texted me yesterday to tell me what she was having for lunch.

3. Benjamin - haven't talked to Ben too much lately. He has a girlfriend. She seems really nice.

4. Mirielle - she is busy busy with homework, she is in college.

5. Joseph - he is going to mow the lawn today. He does have some employment plans.

6. Aaron- he is also very busy with homework. He is a senior this year.

7. Mali - she has a cross-country meet today. I am considering going to watch her run by. She is also very busy doing homework.

8. Samuel - he is working hard keeping up with all his work. He is determined to do well in school. Every story or essay he writes is about...you guessed it, World War II.

9. Margaret- She has been going to the gym with Mirielle a few times a week and is looking good.

10. Kathryn- She spends all her spare time doing gymnastics outside. I am dreading winter time for her...

11. Evelyn- Some of our kids call Evelyn "Eleven"....anyway, she is growing up so fast! She goes first trip with the older kids this year, gets out all of her own clothes. She also washes and takes care of her own clothes now. Just because she wants to.

12. Suzanne- Suze continues to be lovely, inside and out. She does her own hair and remembers to take her showers on her own. She is friends with a girl with special needs, Suze plays with her every day and is always telling me about "Anna", and how sweet she is. She is a nurturer.

13. Sonja- She really wanted to stay home again, but she went to school. Sonja is one of those kids who just "gets" things in school, and gets A's and 100's on everything. She still hates veggies and doesn't want sauce on her spaghetti.

14. Jonathan-after a day off, he was all happy to go to school today. It helped that today is Show and Tell, and he just got through going through all his toys...so he is prepared!

15. Charlotte Claire-She is growing up too! She is getting so tall, growing out of all the 4's and 5's....she does like to do these little fits like Camille sometimes, and talk like a baby...but other than that, she is a very good little girl.

16. Camille- she has a cold, and a cough, and was awake four or five times last night. She is the little girl with the little curl right in the middle of her forehead...when she is good she is very very good, when she is bad she is horrid....she wants to do everything herself. And when she wants something, and I say no, watch out. I am learning not to be afraid of saying no. Because Camille is the epitome of the spoiled youngest....and I could not love her more. In her jammie-sleeper, she is the cutest sweetest squishiest little girl in the world!

As for me...I am trying not to pay too much attention to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. But everytime a helicopter gets shot down and another soldier gets ambushed.....I think of the families, and how not too long from now, it could be Benjamin. We live very close to Fort Drum, home of the 10th Mountain Division, and another boy from there just was killed. I don't understand it, I don't like it, and it worries me.

Another thing that I don't like: my dad's youngest brother died on Sunday, he was only 59 years old. My father was one of twelve children, there are only four left. Three sisters and one brother. I am partly glad that my father passed away before his brothers Jerry and Jonny (they both died this year) though, it spared him the sadness.

For the most part though, I am a life-enjoyer. I like the smells and sounds and the textures of life, and lately it seems like those things are magnified, and I am just so conscious of the true gift of just being alive. It is so cliche, but things that are good:

wet grass on my feet....

being outside with the dog as the sun rises over the house at the end of the road...

washing pans in the hot soapy water....

seeing Paul walk in the door from work and giving me that smile....

the rain drizzling down right now, so it is cozy and dark in here...I love that.

the smell of the towels because Mirielle likes to buy fabric softener with good coupons...

the fleeting satisfaction of a just swept-floor...

And now I shall go cuddle those two little girls in their new jammy sleepers....cuteness!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

tired afternoon....

Camille and I decided to take a nap. Ha. Ha ha ha. She gave me Eskimo kisses, she squeezed my cheeks so I made a fishy face, she put the pillow on my face and she laughed and wiggled and...Margaret came in to see what was going on, and tried to take Camille out so I could rest....didn't work. So Margaret, bless her heart, came back in with a half a Hershey bar and lured Miss Camille out....I dozed a bit, then got up and baked the rest of the cookies and started some spaghetti sauce. I am now having two cookies with my coffee. Just out of the oven. The sauce is simmering, Joseph is going to pick Mali up from cross-country practice, Kathryn is going out to pick up the yard....Mirielle and Sam are doing homework...someone is playing the drums, Camille is snuggling with me because Charlotte Claire squeezed her, Suzanne is lying in the grass in the front yard.

Tereza asked if the kids get behind in school because they skip so much. No, not usually. When they get in the more challenging grades, they know they have to go or they get behind. In the younger grades, our kids seem to pick things up easily, so if they miss a day they are okay. I understand it can be frustrating to the teachers, since they have to make sure they make up worksheets and catch up on their papers, which is just busy work anyway if they already have the concepts. Sam got into some hot water at the end of the year last year because he was getting behind, but he worked really hard and caught up. We learned that for him, it is best that he doesn't play video games at all during the week. He is fine with that, and when the school year started this year, he was all for it again. He says it helps him focus and he no longer rushes through his work so he can play. He really has a desire to do well in school, and I am proud of him for that. He is giving it his all, so even if he doesn't get all "A's", it is fine.

Jonathan skipped today. He is six years old, and is so full of wonder and amazement about the things in this world. Cars, tractors, keys, batteries, train sets....he spent today organizing his things and getting different things going, and he has his key collection together again. He can open the bathroom doors with several different keys. He said to me , "Today is one of those really good days..." The way I look at it, I am just sharing him with the school. They can't have him ALL of the time. He actually likes school, and as far as I know this year, is doing well. But home.....well, home is HOME.

The weather here today is like a gift. Breezy and sunny and not too warm, but not cold...can't decide whether to leave the windows open or not....really nice day. The kids are barefoot and lots of them are outside with Kathryn now. It is about seventy degrees out.

My three high school kids have been telling me about all the new rules there this year. Stricter and stricter still. If a student fails a class for a marking period, the next marking period the student will stay after for restricted study hall each and every day. If one drives to school, one must fill out forms and permission slips and go through miles of red tape, and if one wishes to drive one's friend home, that friend needs prior permission....I think the more they treat the students like babies, the worse they will act. Give them some respect and some freedom, and they will live up to it. Just my opinion. I also say, let them go outside more! Even prisons let the inmates out in the yard once in a while.....

I always say, "If I were the principal..." but I guess the administrators are faced with the challenges of being responsible for these kids in a world where there is always someone to blame when something happens, and it better not be them. Our school district was sued one time by a parent because his son fell off the ropes in gym and broke his ankle. The school has insurance for those things and the medical costs were fully covered, but that was not enough for them. I think that is just evil. Anyways....no more opinions now, Miss Camillle is having a bad afternoon...tired and runny nose, and no nap!!! She wants me!!

the school skipping is starting...

Kathryn has a legitimate reason to stay home today. She blistered her feet up wearing soccer cleats for several games this past weekend. She went to school yesterday and her feet hurt her terribly. A day off from wearing sneakers or shoes will hopefully help them heal.

And Jonathan...he just didn't get up this morning. He says he doesn't feel good. He is lying in bed humming, happy as a bird because the bus has come and gone without him.

Officially, I had only one chocolate chip cookie yesterday. But unofficially, I ate some broken pieces and a half of one on the plate. (does the cookie dough I tasted count? rats.)...there is lots more dough in the 'fridge....if I just leave it in there, the kids will eat it little by little and I'll be safe.

The thing is, I eat health-ily (that should be a word) for the most part, but the little extras add up. I really like the little extras. Some people can just so casually say NO THANK YOU to a cookie, to me...ouch. But I keep telling myself that there is going to be suffering involved, and suffering will not kill me.

Last night for instance, I felt like if I got up with Camille one more time, it would kill me. But it didn't! I gave her a quarter teaspoon of Benedryl before bed for her cold, not knowing if it would knock her out or make her hyper....she was awake less than the night before, but she has this bark-y cough now, which is scary to me. Our kids seem partial to coming down with croup. Mirielle almost died when she was under two years old...Paul and I had gone down to Florida for a few days, he had classes for work and took me along, with baby Joseph. We left the four other kids with my mother. The last night we were gone, she put them to bed, got into her jammies, then heard a horrible sound..it was Mirielle croupy coughing...so Gramma got her up, turned on the kettle to make some steam, took her outside into the night air, then she started turning blue, so she called the ambulance....which just happened to be returning from a call, so was there within minutes....(we lived in the village back then)Mirielle was scarcely breathing....she had an infection which swelled the throat....the opening was smaller than a pencil eraser, the E.R. dr said. Plus she had stuff in her throat, which was clogging the opening....so she was in dire condition.....my brother Billy ended up at our place watching the other kids, and they still remember how much fun that was. We got home the next morning and found out our toddler was in the hospital....then baby Joseph got it too, and he ended up checking in to the hospital the day Mirielle was discharged....the very same day my sister's oldest daughter was hospitalized and diagnosed with cancer....when it rains it pours....(Kate is a miracle though, she is now the high school French teacher, she is married and has a child, and is a BEAUTIFUL girl, inside and out....)

Anyways...I digress.....around here we play a game called, "Off On A Tangent" ....As you can well imagine, I am very good at it.

Today I hope to get caught up on some housework, blah and yuck, then get out into the sunshine. Autumn is gorgeous, but there is that looming threat of the long cold winter....I am not ready for that yet. Oh well, one day at a time...

Monday, September 20, 2010

doctor, valvoline,walmart, real deals, big lots...

It's good I took Mali in to see dr., she has some bronchitis, and congestion in her ears. It has been going on and on.....

Oil change....I always feel like such a cheapie when I stick to the "standard" oil change, and decline the new air filter because I know I can buy one cheaper at Walmart and have Ben put it in...

Walmart....Mali needed a white t-shirt for cross-country. We also ended up with tights for the little girls, a few marked down shirts, bagels, bananas, pretzels and yogurt.

Real Deals....the best dollar store around...I got some Hershey Kisses, orange juice, and school bus shaped refridgerated cookies....

BigLots....just some hair stuff and lotion....

and home, to the place Mirielle was running in my absence...she made turkey burgers, hot dogs, and coneys on the grill, and sweet potato fries and onion rings in the oven...and mixed veggies.

The kitchen at church was left messy because we were so busy, it had to be put back in order so there was a cleaning night tonight.. the older kids left right during dinner....Paul had to go to a board meeting, so he left....

Jonathan and Charlotte Claire and Camille put socks on so they could slide across the living room floor and play slide tag, while Suzanne and Sonja did homework. Evelyn helped me tuck the girls in, and Sam tucked in Suzanne, Sonja, and Jonathan. Phew. I love them, but getting them all tucked in is quite a relief. They were so wild tonight.

I snuggled in my bed and read two stories to Camille, then she told me to tell her another story, "with your mouth, Mama!" So I told her about a good little girl named Camille Anaya, who listened so nicely to her Mama....

Now it is all quiet in her, except for Rosie who is washing her paws. The older kids and Paul will be home soon, and quiet time will be over....

oh heavenly....

I decided to make chocolate chip cookies. I was talking to my sister on the phone, and accidentally quadrupled the recipe instead of doubling or tripling. Oh well. Evelyn, who is obviously very sick because she is home from school, is baking them. It smells absolutely positively heavenly in here.

My pretty Nike sneakers had themselves a little workout today, I am proud to say. I put them on and walked all the way down the road and back, with Rosie-the-bad-dog. The hill was hard. But I am going again tomorrow. And the next day. It will get easier. With that in mind, I will try to eat only two cookies with my afternoon coffee.

I am leaving to take Mali to the dr. for her aching ears. As much as I hate leaving and being gone when the kids get off the bus, I am looking forward to some quality time with Mali Rose.

The days weren't too long ago when I had to take all of the kids to every single appointment....if I had a nickel for everytime I heard, "YOU have YOUR hands full......"....and it goes without saying I would still be glad to have my hands full...we are still hoping for that one more baby...

Camille is putting deodorant on her dolly's arm and smelling it, repeatedly....gotta go!

monday....a day that the Lord has made....

and we shall be glad and rejoice in it. Not because everything is going our way, but because we just will.

Last night....Miss Camille tossed and turned and woke me up several-everal times. More than seven, less than twenty. One time she was whimpering and whining and I got up and asked her what was wrong, and she said, "My leg is cold..." She has one-piece footie jammies on, and her leg was sticking out from the covers. So we are dealing with some brattiness here....but in her defense, she has come down with another cold, and was coughing a bit last night. At one point, she got up and took the battery operated candle from the dresser and turned it on and had it in her bed. So I let her keep it. By five a.m., after getting up those several-everal times, I just could not fall back to sleep. Then at seven, when I HAD to get up, I was getting very sleepy and could certainly have fallen asleep. Oh well. There IS coffee. Paul so nicely made a pot, but turned it off..by the time I poured mine, it was very lukewarm...I opened the microwave and it smelled like someone had themselves some chicken nuggets....nah, I just had it lukewarm.

I think that if, for the past 26 years, I had gotten really good sleep, I would be in much better shape. There is nothing like being tired and weary to dampen one's enthusiasm for excercise. And that afternoon slump when one has had a terrible night is hard to get through without something good with the coffee. I know, I know, excuses excuses....but still!

So this chilly morning, Jonathan took his usual morning shower....it went on and on...he was in no hurry to get out from under that nice warm water. Then when he got out, he stayed under his towel for way too long....I practically pushed the child out the door, after having him step into the sneakers that I tied for him, and shrug into the jacket I held for him, after eating only three or four spoonfulls of his Cinnamon Life. I handed him his backpack, and off he went....just barely made it.

Margaret is home today, doesn't feel well. Sonja has something going on with her tummy. Either she is a good planner, because it started yesterday, or she really doesn't feel well. Her happiness at staying home is shining through whatever illness she has, that's for sure.

Camille is sleeping nicely now. rrr.

My computer is still being fixed, I hope it is indeed fixable. I am sitting at the desktop, it just doesn't have the comfy ambience of my chair.

Call me crazy, but there is one thing I enjoy about being awake alot in the night. I get time to think about things. I mostly realize things about myself, and think and pray about others. I resolve to give more of myself, to be slow to speak and be a better listener, and to be more understanding with my girls. And my boys. I mean, anyone can snap their fingers and demand of others. And be tough and unyielding. But what is the real goal here, with raising kids? For me, it is too lead them to want to live for God themselves, not to just go through the motions and do what I want them to do. I want them to learn responsibility, but more importantly I want to be a living example to them so they don't want to rebel. I want to have that spirit that Jesus had, that spirit that says, "Come!"

One thing that I have learned in my years as a mother of teenagers (Miss Margaret is my ninth teenager!)....is that I don't always have to have the last word. In the midst of my dealings with them, I have found this thing within me that just wants to WIN. To set them straight. To have that last word. But that is not what is in my heart. So slowly I learn, step by step. Situation by situation. I have experienced that when I am awake, and I humble myself and give up that strength, they sense that I really love them, and it makes it so much easier for them, and they end up telling me they are sorry. Oh, that melts me.

So today is another day.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

sunday, a day of rest....

That title always makes me laugh. I DID have a day of rest on a Sunday once, I am sure, but I don't remember.

Today was Day Two of the soccer tournament. Let me start with Day One....

Candy store...I love working at the candy store....it is special because for some of the kids, it is the only time they actually get to have money and go and pick things out. It is a highlight of these weekends for them. They are SO cute. Since so many of my kids were playing soccer and practicing for their evening performances, and so many of the sixteen year olds and up were working at the Carrier Dome, we were short staffed and I found it hard to get away even to use the bathroom. It killed me not to watch my own kids play soccer, but I guess it didn't REALLY kill me, did it? I could see some of the games from where I was....it was quite exciting because KATHRYN scored a goal!!! In the first game! They also won that game, which has rarely happened for our team in all the years of playing.....Kap was humble about it, she said the ball was just there, and she just kicked it in....but it was a very exciting and promising start for them....unfortunately, it was their only win....

So we served our meal yesterday to almost seven hundred people.....we served roasted pork loin with apple gravy, baked potatoes and butter and green beans. We have it down pretty smoothly to form assembly lines and pack them into foam containers.....after everyone was served, I fed my kids and cleaned them up and brought them into the Music Feast in the meeting hall....

The children's choir was precious....Suzanne had a solo, and sung so sweetly. Abigail, Joseph, Aaron, and Margaret were in the jazz band, that was nice too. Each church had a few different groups perform, it was entertaining and encouraging.

Today has been that special post-conference good feeling stuff. We are so thankful for our friends! Our family has been so blessed once again. It seems no matter how much some of us give, we are given back many many times more. I am fully aware that my children are turning into faithful and God-fearing and amazing young adults because of God, and the church.....I can never repay that debt.

Not that there aren't trials along the way...but we know that with every temptation, there is a way out....Jesus overcame, we can also. Then it is only good.

Something really funny: several of the kids told me that a boy they know reads this...so hello to him, the nice little guy in Ottowa! I only hope I haven't written anything that embarrassed them!

While working at the candy store, I made friends with four little girls who wanted to help me. These girls are all from large families, so we had fun talking about how they are treated in school and getting along with brothers, and dinner-time craziness. I must say, I am very proud of them, they learned quite quickly how to take money and make change. I found that if I hung back and watched from more of a distance, they were more sure of themselves and could figure things out....I let them pick out some candy when they left....

So I am happy today, life is full of promise. Things I have noticed today....

The breeze smells like fabric softener and autumn leaves.

The sun is shining on Kathryn, who is practicing handstands in the front yard.

Mirielle brought home some of the leftover donuts, shh, and hmm..let's just say my good intentions were somehow lost along the way...but I won't give up...tomorrow is another day. By the way, they were EXCELLENT donuts. I think the friends enjoyed them last night, too.

Camille is unrolling a roll of toiled paper. Paul just said to her, "Charlotte, can you stop doing that?" To which she answered, "I am Camille..." He said, "Yes, you are Camille."

Jonathan is lying on the living room floor with a pillow and blanket playing with some silly bands...

Abigail is here...she helps with the church books, so she has stuff to do.

Joseph went on a run. He swept the kitchen and living room first.

Our house....our poor house...when we have a busy weekend like this, oh my goodness....there is stuff to do everywhere....we have mostly caught up, here and there...I ask each kid I see to do a little bit here and there because they are tired and I don't want to create what they call a "stress-fest"....so I am plodding along picking things up and it is almost back to normal....

Since lunch consisted of...uh-hum, donuts....we shall have an early dinner. I need to go out there and get that going before they all start getting too hungry to wait and start making all sorts of goodies....

Friday, September 17, 2010

hmm, jamaica again?

We had such an excellent time in Jamaica last year. Paul and I had never gone on a honeymoon, we got married on a Friday night, and went to work on Monday morning. And, to my older kids' incredulity, we went to church that Sunday, too. So after almost 26 years of marriage, last year we finally went on a trip. Only five days, but five HEAVENLY days.

We are thinking of going again. Mirielle said last night that when she gets out of school for the semester she will be glad to watch the kids. We were checking some prices, it is cheaper this year than last year. Of course we are only "talking" about going now, and it might not be Jamaica, it could be Dominican Republic or the Bahamas....oh, even if we don't end up going, the speculation is fun!

So one thing I have decided is that I need to get into a bit better shape in the next few months, just in case. This summer I swam a lot, and tried to eat sensibly, for the most part....but for the last few weeks since the weather turned chillier, I have felt blah and haven't excercised at all. I really like to eat, and I know that diets don't work, and I am not going to go on and on on this blog about calories or portions...I am just going to eat less and make better choices and try to get to the school pool or go on the treadmill. I won't turn into a covergirl for the NutriSystem, but I will feel better. The thing is, I decided this last night. Heck, I decide every single night that "tomorrow I will be wiser about everything I eat..."ha. I don't even believe myself anymore. But I SUPER decided last night. Then this morning, as if by magic, I woke up SUPER hungry. And there were Toaster Pastries left. Rasberry. I made some for the school kids, and poured myself a small bowl of Shredded Wheat. Then somehow there was an extra half of pastry, so I picked it up and took a bit...Nope, I asked Charlotte Claire if she wanted it, and she did! One small victory.....(please, please, do not anyone even ask about the seven hundred donuts Mirielle is picking up tomorrow for our soccer tournament/music feast...I am already battling in my mind about it....donuts are pretty good....)

Charlotte Claire is on the floor behind me playing dollhouse. Yesterday, I sorted through the stuff and removed all Jon's cars, a few stray socks, blocks, crayons, and other assorted items that had gotten mixed in with the dollhouse stuff...I ended up sitting down there on the floor helping them set up houses....anyway, Miss C.C. has SEVEN dollhouse babies. They are all lying in their cribs and basinettes.....if I have done one thing, I have instilled in my children an absolute LOVE for babies....

Emily Anne was here again last night. And I stayed up way too late again last night. blah, when I am tired it is hard to make good choices....(oh dear me, it is only nine o'clock in the morning...) But it was so much fun to stay up late and talk...Mirielle stayed up late with us too, then she got up at 5:30 to go to the gym......why, oh why, can't I be more like Mirielle?

Today we are going shopping. We need some things for the weekend, things not for us but for the church stuff tomorrow. It is so nice that Mirielle has early classes and is home before 1:00 on Fridays....so much nicer to have a shopping companion. Especially one like her, she cuts the coupons....I went to the store without her the other day, and everything I put into the cart, I imagined her chastising me because she had a coupon for it. She really is a fun girl.

Why is it that the more decided one is to get into shape, the more one thinks about things like donuts? Why do we torture ourselves? Why are we our own worst enemies? hmm. I have some mental battles to win here.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

is it really quiet in here?

Almost...Paul is tucking Charlotte Claire in. Evelyn went to bed with a book. The three little school kids, Suzanne, Sonja K., and Jonathan are all snuggled in and sleeping...and Miss Camille is sleeping too. Benjamin is doing some laundry after finishing his after dinner bowl of cereal (some of these big boys are just bottomless pits it seems)....Mirielle, Joseph, Aaron, Mali, Samuel, Margaret, and Kathryn went to the youth meeting. Rosie is down for the night. I know, she is not a child, but jeepers she sure acts like one. I was passing out gumdrops for the kids tonight, and she was right there, all hopeful and innocent.

Mirielle made lasagna today. The house smelled like Pizza Hut for a few hours, and it is such a good feeling to have that dinner in the oven. We served it with tossed salad, and it was good! She made two large glass pans of it, and there is some left over, yay.

I did lie down for a bit this afternoon....afternoon naps always sound so good, but....by the time I actually fell asleep, I woke up and looked at the time, and knew I should be getting up....so I got up feeling groggier than when I started out.....but just the feeling of snuggling down in my comfy bed is so alluring, I can't resist once in a while. And Sam made me a wonderful cup of coffee after I got up, while I was folding laundry. So dinner was in the oven, I was having coffee, Emily had four of the girls, it was raining...it was pleasant. I like to stop and grab those moments, consciously enjoy them.

Camille was grumpy for a while this afternoon. She does this thing where she absolutely cannot walk....she crawls after me whining....or she follows me around holding onto a handful of my skirt, saying, "I want you, I want you..." so sooner or later I sit down with her....this afternoon she was all wrapped up in a blanket and I rocked her, she almost fell asleep. It was so nice to sit there rocking a small child....

Having lots and lots of kids is a huge suffering in many ways. The sleeplessness, year after year...the physical toll of pregnancies....the wear and tear on the house, the messy vehicles, the diapers and laundry and things that they put down the toilet....the clothes they grow into and out of.....the toys and small pieces and collections and fads and needs for batteries....the insurance stuff and dr appointments and dentist bills and the braces, which are thousands of dollars and take millions of appointments, emergency room visits...and of course the mental toll, worrying about them and wondering if we are doing the right thing half the time....Oh, I could write a whole page about the sufferings.....but the rewards outweigh the sufferings a hundred-fold, or a million-fold.

Some of the wonderful things about having lots and lots of kids:

The way they sit around the dinner table every night and fool around. The other night I asked Sam if he was the Narrator, because he was sort of ...well, he was narrating what was going on. He said, "At that point, I realized that I was indeed the Narrator." It was so so funny.

The way the older ones nurture the younger ones. Benjamin calls Camille, "Little Dog"...and when he comes in and scoops her up and says, "How are you doing, Little Dog?"...it is just sweet.

Tonight one of the older ones had a little fit because he/she misunderstood what his/her siblings was saying about something, and screamed at them and stomped to his/her room. I went and talked to this child, and when I returned to the kitchen, Samuel was so concerned.....and they were all apologizing to this one who got so upset. The one who got upset also apologized, and it is just so nice to see the way they truly care for each other....

They text me alot. I like that. It is nice they think of me, and I love when they want my opinion on something.

Then of course there are all the littler kids. They amuse me by the hour. Jonathan likes to wear just his undies around...today Joseph went to pick Mali up from cross-country practice, and Jonathan put on this robe that was way too small, and went with him...Jon loves when Daddy makes him paper airplanes. Paul looks the designs up on some online site, and tries them out. He found one that works like a dream, and Jonathan was so delighted that his planes flew so well tonight.

I love when Suze reads to the little girls.

Pretty soon, all seven of those older kids are going to be clamoring back into the livingroom, all talking at once, and probably having some snacks...my quiet time will be over, but....okay, they are home....

good morning....

This morning, the kids got ready very nicely for school. They had toaster pastries and milk, Jon took his shower like a champ. He is excited that Mirielle is picking him up from school today, but does not realize that his sisters are getting picked up by Emily. I am proud of them that they decided not to tell him, they don't want him to be sad...by the time he finds out, perhaps he will have had fun with Mirielle and won't be so upset.

Today is chilly, and the rain is moving in. Lots of dark cloudy rainy weather. I love it. I am glad I am here in the house with no plans to go out and about. Mirielle is planning to make lasagna for dinner, when she gets home from classes, and I am thinking about doing some organizing....

Busy times are coming! This weekend...phew. Tomorrow night, Activity Club starts for the kids ages 5 and up, at church...our older kids are all involved too, leaders and such. Saturday and Sunday we have the bi-annual soccer tournament, this time with a Music feast on Saturday night. Our younger kids will be in the children's choir, and some of the older ones are in the jazz band. As usual we will be running the candy store/grill, plus: we have committed to running a concesssion stand for the Carrier Dome for the football season. Saturday there is a football game, so 21 people have to be there for that while the rest of us run the grill, watch the soccer, get our kids ready for the music feast, and serve a roast pork loin dinner for almost seven hundred people. By the way: our group numbers about a hundred, including children. So it will be challenging. Paul will be part of the group going to the dome, so I am trying not to feel overwhelmed with how busy the day will be. I know if I just take it one moment at a time, it will work out. And the whole aim is to have fun and fellowship and be together to be strengthened in our faith. Besides, I LOVE being the candy store lady. All those cute kids....I like seeing them time and time again and watching them grow. Oh, the stories I could tell...about when they buy things for their friends, or give to another child who doesn't quite have enough, or come back to tell me I gave them too much change. Lots of them just like to talk, too.

So tomorrow Mirielle and I are planning a small shopping excursion, we need to get four cases of water for the grill. And some bread and grapes and things for us. Mirielle has volunteered to pick up the donuts I ordered for Saturday's dessert. When we were asked to do dessert, being so swamped this weekend, we decided to do something simple. Donuts! Donuts for seven hundred people! I was shocked and impressed when the Price Chopper store I shop at agreed to have 55 dozen of assorted donuts baked and frosted and boxed up for me on Saturday morning, for FOUR DOLLARS A DOZEN!!! There are more people coming now than we had planned for, so we need to go to another store and get four more dozen, too.....I am very partial to donuts, so this sounds heavenly to me. By the way, Samuel didn't have a donut last night after dinner because he was full, not because I wouldn't let him....then when he wasn't full, the box was empty. So I am getting him a donut tomorrow....

It is so pleasant in here right now...I have one more drink of coffee in my cup, but Paul made a pot, and there is more in it....I am sitting at the desktop, looking out at the pear tree. Rosie is lying on one of my feet, so I have one warm foot and one cold foot. The two girls are both up now, and are watching Superwhy on public television. They are cuddled under blankets. It is quiet and cozy.

I do think I will take a small nap today. I stayed up til the wee hours with Miss Emily last night. She is such a good girl. We solved all the world problems, and before she left she gave me a nice hug. She also told me that if I decided to babysit a child or two, they would be very lucky kids. I was oh-so-happy. We aren't a mushy family, but a compliment from your oldest is quite special...I mean, she was my experimental child. The one who had to sit at that table until her juice was gone. The one who went in for a nap whether she wanted to or not. The child who learned to read and tell time before kindergarten even started, who wasn't allowed Barbie dolls or television. (We didn't buy one until she was 13 years old).....I thought I had to win every battle back then, didn't know so much about letting things go, and seeing the bigger picture. Thankfully I always liked to stop and smell the roses and I liked to read...I would read those kids just stacks and stacks of books, cuddled up on the couch....and thankfully, by seeking God and His wisdom, little by little I became more flexible and aquired a little more discernment about what things are really important. She just remembers that she had a wonderful childhood, climbing trees and going on adventures and playing "cabin in a storm" in the corner of our living room....they were talking last night about when their cousins would come over and they would play "Scary Game", or what I referred to as "Screaming Game"...some of them would hide in the rooms downstairs, and the rest of them would run down the hall, in the pitch dark, and the hiding ones would jump out....so basically it was like an hour of non-stop screaming and screeching at the top of their lungs, while my sister and I sat up here with our littler ones, wondering how long we should let them do this. And being thankful we don't have close neighbors. This did not happen just once, it happened every time their cousins came over. This, and the plays they used to put on....especially after we got that video camera...oh my goodness, they were hilarious.

Oh well....we do have a lot to talk about when we stay up late....and of course for Emily, it is not late, her schedule is backwards....

And now I have to get breakfast for Miss Camille, who "wants cereal, right now!"

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

what's goin' on...

Emily is over for a visit, she finally has a night off.......

Abigail is officially full-time and hired by the company she is working for, no longer for the temp-agency, starting tomorrow. I bought her an air freshener for her car as a little gift.

Benjamin is still working at McDonalds, counting down the days until he leaves for basic training.

Mirielle had dinner ready when I got home from my lovely day out and about...she made roasted chicken breast, served with chopped red and green peppers and tomatoes and black olives and lime tortilla chips, which are one million time better than regular ones.

Joseph likes to torment the dog. He and Aaron tied a helium balloon to her tail, then called her back and forth, giving her treats. She did not like it.

Aaron also likes to torment her too. He calls her to come back behind the bench at the kitchen table, because the only way out is for her to walk backwards. That amuses him to no end.

Mali is busy catching up on homework because she runs cross country. She had a meet today, and doesn't think she did well.....but she did.

Samuel....he took so long to eat his dinner, that when the other kids had donuts for dessert, he didn't have one. He was sorely disapointed when he checked the box a few minutes ago and...empty. I guess 12 donuts isn't enough.

Margaret. She is funny. She likes to sit around the table after dinner and laugh and fool around...she also has been amazing about getting up and going to the gym to work out with Mirielle every morning.

Kathryn loves her music...and now her mp3 player isn't working...it is a crisis...I can remember back in the day when those things were not necessities.

Evelyn is one of the bigger kids now, going on first trip. So she tends to stay up too late, and gets tired and silly....she likes school...today they learned about the scientific method and her teacher stuck her hand in peanutbutter to illustrate a point.

Suzanne skipped school today. She is the first skipper of the year. She spent the day entertaining and taking care of Camille. She gave her two baths, did her hair and nails, and played store with her. When I came home there were cans of soup and boxes of brownie mix, and toy cash registers all over the livingroom.

Sonja has caught on to the fact that Miss Emily, the wonderful older sister, has a few days off. Emily has nicely agreed to pick up Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja....

Jonathan is blissfully unaware that he is going to be left out of this little plan. He loves Emily, but she only has so much room in her sweet little Suzuki. So Mirielle is going to pick him up.

Charlotte Claire had fun today. We lucked out and the restaurant we chose had kids pay what they weigh. She only cost 38 cents. Which was good, because she barely touched her two miniture cheeseburgers....she ate every last fry, though.

Camille...she is such a sweetie! She LOVES when I sing her songs at night. The newest one we have added is "Three Blind Mice"....she calls it the "cut the tails" song. She seriously changes her clothes like ten times a day. She wants to do everything herself.

And now I am going to talk to Emily and Aaron and Mali and Paul.....

ignoring that niggling thought...

I know I should go check on Miss Camille. She is awake in my room...which connects to a very nice bathroom filled with soap and treasures. Yesterday when I went in to greet the little varmint, she smelled suspiciously like my previously favorite perfume. When I checked the bathroom, sure enough, the box was open. I told her to stay out of my stuff. Oh, I will, Mommy...she said.

Today, we are going on an adventure, my sister-in-law Kim and I, and our two little girls. Her Danielle is five, and Miss Charlotte Claire, who is four. She is leaving her three year old home with an older daughter, and I am leaving Miss Camille home with Joseph, then Mirielle when she gets home from class....we are going to look at flower girl dresses for Danielle, who is going to be in her big brother's wedding. We thought it would be fun for just the two little girls to have some fun without their younger siblings....Kim has twelve kids, and her youngest child is just as spoiled as Miss Camille. We like to say, "he's lucky he's cute."

Anyways, we are leaving soon and plan to be gone for the whole darned day. I cannot decide whether we should go to breakfast and make it last for like two hours, or hold out and go out to lunch....or...ha, both! I am so looking forward to today. The only thing is that I feel like a mean and terrible mommy, just a rotten betrayer for leaving Camille, my sweet little squishy one, behind. She is going to be heart broken and so mad! She just came out here, took one look at me, and said, "I want to go!" I don't know how she knew, perhaps because I had brushed my long tangly hair.

I have a list of baking ingredients to get today. Yesterday, Mirielle made a pan of brownies with AfterEight mints crushed in them, to bring to girls' fellowship night. Well, they were too hot and gooey, so she traded me and brought some chocolate chip cookie bars instead. Now there is a half a pan of brownies calling me....I think I will wrap one up for Kim, and one for me, and perhaps one for each the girls....and leave the rest for the kids....

The two little girls are fighting intensely over a plastic monkey spoon...I better go before they pound each other....

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

my computer is at the doctor...

I never even thought of getting it fixed, I thought it was dead and gone. But Paul took it to a guy today. Hopefully it can be saved! For now, I am sitting on a hard and uncomfy chair at one of the desktops, right next to Mirielle who is doing college homework.

Today started out stressful from the start. Stressful because of me, I do not want my mother-in-law to think I am a slob, or rather KNOW I am a slob. Because, as soon as she left I stopped cleaning and made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies.

So as soon as the kids got on the bus, I started cleaning up. Drudgery, I tell you. It would be fine and dandy if it would STAY that way, but it seems so fruitless. Although it does feel good to have it nice and shiny in here.

Our visit was pleasant enough. She brought us a huge pan of her homemade macaroni and cheese, and a frosted bundt cake which Camille refers to as, "The big donut from Gramma..."

She raised five kids, then went to nursing school for her L.P.N when she was in her forties. She was encouraging me to do something like that too. I would like to, eventually, but for now.....it is nice to not be so terribly busy all of the time, and enjoy the kids. And of course, I would LOVE one more baby....

On this note, I just want to give you fellow mommies some encouragement:

1. Take your life one moment at a time. I don't even say one DAY at a time, because when things are busy and there is a baby, or a busy toddler, or both, even a DAY is too much.

2. You will NOT DIE if you don't accomplish something that you have in your head that needs to be done. It might feel that way, but it did not kill you yesterday, it will not kill you today. Give it up and take a big breath.

3. It is okay to live in such a way that everything isn't always in order. Do not compare yourself to your sister or your cousin or your friend from church. Who ever said your home had to look like a furniture showroom at all times, anyway?

4. Learn to be content. My mother always said that people live like this is "heaven on earth."..they want everything just perfect, but this home here is SO temporary. Life is so short.

5. Forgive, forgive, forgive.

6. Hug them. Even when they're taller than you. They might push you away, but I bet a million dollars they liked it anyway.

And I will stop here because I feel stupid giving advice, because I still have so much to work on myself. It is always a struggle for me to find the middle ground about the state of the house. I don't like clutter/sticky/messy, but I also don't want to be a cleaning lady full time.

I have also been thinking about how my kids are so spoiled and such individualists, even in such a big group. For example, if I were to put specific snacks out after school everyday, I would have to put my foot down....because they all like different things. Some like to eat the leftovers from last night's dinner, some like fruits or smoothies, some like to open a can of soup...yes, they are spoiled...but just because there are a lot of them, doesn't mean they can't do what they want. They mostly clean up their own messes....mostly.....yes, I have sixteen brats. Sixteen fun and funny and kind and sarcastic and thankful and helpful and lively brats. I wouldn't have it any other way.....

Monday, September 13, 2010

pictures

This is one of our favorite baby dolls. And this is one of our favorite kids, letting us know that mommies cry too....and that it is past bedtime. She likes to play with one of my favorite strollers. A Maclaren is a good investment, in my humble opinion. It pushes like it is gliding on ice. I enjoy seeing it being used, even for dollies. I have one thing to say to those of you who have all or mostly boys, and think that those who have all or mostly girls have it easier because boys are crazy....I have found my girls to be crazier than my boys. That could well be because I only have five boys and eleven girls, and 5 of the girls are in a row....but at any rate, my girls are not just little princesses...Kathryn-12, and Evelyn-11, celebrate the day with iced coffee.







Evelyn...they found a bag of Sam's old clothes....rrr.








Kathryn Grace




Paul might be going to Boston later this month...as the VeggieTales sing, "I've never been to Boston in the fall...."I would like to finangle my way into this one.....it is so exciting to still be madly in love with one's husband. I shall say n0 more about this....
My two little girls keep me hopping. 'They have a new pet caterpillar. It is in a little toy plastic house, with some nice flowers Camille tore off a plant, to eat. These two girls were very naughty this morning. They poured an entire bottle of pancake syrup into their oatmeal. Where was the mother, one might ask...good question....I THOUGHT I was right here..but I think I was doing laundry.....I need to sit with them at all times, I guess. Or at least take the syrup off the table..





this broken computer is hard to type on...

my poor computer...with its broken off F key, and sticky w and rickety cord....if I don't constantly babysit the cord, it suddenly turns off....and now the thing only works hen it is opened up just a little bit..my hands barely fit in here to type...so I have a plan...my kids were asking me if I was going to buy a new one....oh sure, just go buy a new one. Then I started thinking...ebay! It is time for me to sell some stuff! Because I am lost without my laptop. There are two desktops here in the living room..but this one has all my stuff on it...and I like my comfy chair...


this house looks like about 16 people lived here all weekend...it looks like they had a really good time. It looks like a six year old boy packed his own lunch this morning, and a mommy made 24 pieces of French toast for the 9 school kids. It looks like little girls have been playing Barbie camping Trip in the livingroom, and like a few teenagers forgot where sweatshirts go. It looks like someone took their hair out of a towel and hung it in here, and like a few people had drinks out here and left their cups. It looks like a two year old dumped a whole bin of dollhouse stuff, and like a whole family read the Sunday paper and left it in a sprawling pile on the floor. It looks like a whole stack of bedtime stories are on the couch, and it looks like someone brought their comforter from their bed to cuddle a bit before dressing for school.

It smells like coffee and French toast and rainy weather. Charlotte Claire is up, telling me her dream..she dreamed there as an earthquake and that Mirielle and Jonny and Abigail turned into ice...then they turned squishy again....

Something we heard yesterday at church...God sends us exactly what we need. He hears our prayers, and answers them...not always how we would want, but exactly what we need. Everyone on earth has trials and temptations. No one can escape that. People strive to make life good and relaxing, but there will always be suffering. Just think to learn how to be faithful in those temptations and sufferings! So that anxiety doesn't rule and we aren't weighed down by the cares of life! Then we can be a good example to our children..w.e can stand up and take what God sends our way without crumbling and whining about it...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

another try...

Last night I dreamed I found three little boys who needed homes....I wanted them all. Probably because when I was in Walmart with Abigail yesterday, I saw a sweet little two year old in the cart, happy as can be 'cause his mommy was buying him Spongebob macaroni and cheese. He told me as I was walking by that he was going to have it on his plate. Then I saw a daddy with two very mischievous little boys, probably two or three years old....they jumpied right into the paper towels to take naps, and daddy told them he was calling the cops if they didn't start behaving......there are so many cute kids out there.

I guess I am greedy and am having a hard time adjusting to the kids growing up on me...I don't want to go through a home study or any of that stuff, but if someone would just give me a baby, I would certainly love and take care of him or her. Kind of kidding....but jeepers, if you still have babies and toddlers, hug them and enjoy them....'cause they are not staying little for long. I remember when different people told me how quickly the kids grow and how before long Paul and I wouldn't have little ones anymore....I did not believe them. Now I am starting to....Camille is so independant, but still likes me to rock her and sing her songs before bed. 'Then she tells me, "Put me in my bed now, Mama...." and I reluctantly do. I love having little ones around I love how Aaron calls the two little girls, "little small people" so affectionately.. I love how the other kids try to carry Camille around and fight over her....even though she is almost three years old. Kathryn helped Charlotte Claire brush her teeth and tucked her in tonight, because she WANTED to....

Yes, there is dollhouse stuff all over. And clothes that were all bagged up to go to the Salvation Army are gotten into and all over. And there is silliness and nonsense and books all over...but I love it....

my broken computer

it is really broken...i already have to hold the cord in the side, it doesn;t hold charge, now if I open it all the way the screen goes blank. We don't have four hundred bucks for a new one so....

Kathryn needs help making a bookcover. Joseph is washing pizza pans...we had a red pepper, green pepper and onion pizza, one with those things plus bacon, a cheese pizza, and a plain bacon pizza. And some steamed broccoli and some seasoned chicken breast....

My kids are laughing at me...I cannot do much writing like this...


Paul and I went shopping today, all alone. We had to get ten cases of soda, four cases of Gatorade, six cases of water, and lots of candy for our soccer weekend/music weekend at church. Phew. 'And of course we couldn't go all the way to the nice suburban stores without getting some things for here too...we tried to take a shortcut home, and got sort of lost on back country roads...it wasrainy and misty and so nice out, it was quitefun. My space bar is malfunctioning now. My W key has to be pressed like three times before it types a w.....blah...I give up.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

hmm...dinner for 19 tonight....

Everyone was here except for Emily...she stopped in before dinner and made a cup of tea, she was on her way to work. Two cousins joined us for roast beef and gravy, homemade mashed potatoes and roasted carrots, and biscuits. Mirielle and Margaret made mint chocolate chip ice cream pie with hot fudge, peanut butter ice cream pie with Reeses cups crushed on top.....and a cookie dough ice cream pie with chocolate cookies on the fudge....we haven't had any yet, dinner was too good.

I have been thinking about a verse today, about Jesus...."You have loved righteousness and hated iniquity; therefore God, your God, has annointed you with the oil of gladness more than your companions."

That is so encouraging to me....we can seek joy from temporal things, getting our own way, or accomplishing things...but true joy comes hating my own sin. (not the sins or faults in the others) Jesus got victory over his nature, and was annointed with the oil of gladness. He opened up this way for us to follow Him.

No preaching today, just wanted to say what has been on my heart.

september 11th

I grew up hearing the old people saying where they were when Kennedy was shot. My mother saved the newspaper from that day, and we were allowed to bring it to school on occasion...now people remember where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001....

I called my parents' number, like I did every single morning after the kids got on the bus. The kids then: Emily-16, Abigail-14, Benjamin-12, Mirielle-11, Joseph-10, Aaron-8, Mali-7, Samuel-6....they were off to school....at home I had Margaret-4 and a half, Kathryn-3, Evelyn-2, and Suzanne-6 months. (I was also expecting Miss Sonja, but didn't know it yet).....

So I called my parents, and my dad answered the phone. He said, "Turn on the t.v., we're being attacked..." I did. I stood there with Suze on one hip and Ev on the other, watching in shock as the cameras caught the smoke and the confusion. We stayed on the phone for a long time, while Margaret stood there next to me trying to make sense of what her little four year old mind was seeing...she kept saying over and over again, "What about the babies? Don't they care about the babies?"

I admit, though this happened in my own state of New York, I didn't know anyone personally who lost their life that day. But it was and still is overhwelmingly sad and upsetting.

That day, all I wanted was my family close to me. Paul had to take some of the kids to the dentist, and I had to take some to the pediatrician. We split them up so they were all with us, even though by then Emily was old enough to babysit.....because it was scary. We didn't quite know what was going on that day, what the future would bring. But I remember feeling fiercely protective of my children, my family....and I remember vowing not to take anything for granted....

So today around this great country of ours, the U.S.of A., there are ceremonies and remembrances....and here our family we shall celebrate by enjoying the weather and straightening things out and coating the camper roof and going to WalMart. And this mommy is thankful, however corny it may sound, for all those who have served and sacrificed to give us this freedom....it hasn't escaped my notice how fortunate we are to live in this country and are able to freely accept these children from God, drive a huge van, have a nice big yard with plenty of room to roam....I am thankful. Very thankful.