one snowy blowy morning...

I know I yammer on and on about lake effect snow....but it is so very interesting.  Lake Ontario is a snow making machine.  The cold air comes across Canada, swoops over the lake, picks up all that moisture, and dumps it in lake effect bands that vary with shifting winds.  We live in an area that is usually in that path.

That little circled area is where we live...12-18 inches forecast...note the Watertown area, directly east of the lake though, two feet!  (we go camping just a few miles south of there, eastern Lake Ontario is beautiful...in the summer ha)

 In this map, I think we're right south of the L in Lysander...see how it's hit or miss?  Kathryn lives ten miles north, and sometimes she gets way more snow...

Just some cozy...:)

Orange Guy...

We have not baked cookies yet.  The dough is all right in the refrigerator, one of these days we'll get to it, hoping it's today.  Camille had an in-person math final yesterday which took a while.  Then they did some shopping for us, and it started snowing really wildly.  It hadn't been forecast, but there it was just the same.  I regretted not insisting they take my car, which has new tires, instead of the little Buick sedan, which is not great in the snow.  But, they got home safely before dark, with all the good things from the store.   

There simply was no more time in the day to make those gingerbread men, because they went to Activity club to help out with the kids.  

So.  Today I managed to get a load of clothes into the washer, and have to go transfer them to the dryer.  I'm trying to move more, but please pray for me, as I am concerned that I am not walking on my own yet.  I am seriously concerned about the random buckling, it happens way less, and that's promising, but sometimes I get something in my head to worry about, and ugh.  I made the mistake of reading about it, and the phrase "revision surgery" jumped out at me.  But talk about jumping off the bridge before you even come to it!  NO!  I just need to practice putting weight on it more, strengthen the knee more, and it'll come, right?  

I have dreams I am just walking along, and I realize that I didn't even need that walker!  Sometimes I get so determined to ditch it, and I walk up and down the hall, around the living room and kitchen, trying to let go as I take steps...Charlotte Claire told me I just need to know I can do it, then do it, but Cam told her not to tell me that, that falls in "elderly people" are serious issues.  

Anyway.  I'm going to get up and move around again....I started my day with exercises, then laundry, then sat with the coffee...I have PT later today, so do I stretch and move as much as possible so I'm more limber there, or do I take it easier because it's going to knock my socks off and slay me alive?  Oh, the things I have to mull.  :).    I'll check in later, after PT, because I know you all are wondering how it will go...will my bend get better, or will they send me to the dog food factory?  ha.  

Here I am, all warm and toasty with my afternoon coffee, in my comfy chair with Orange Guy on the arm beside me, and Old Kitty on the back of the chair.  Purring in stereo.  And, Sunny on the couch she is not supposed to be on...but who could tell her to get down, with that face?

So I'm home from PT, and it wasn't that bad.  My bend was 115, same as Friday, but better than Monday, so there is that.  I worked hard, and got some encouraging words from the therapist, he says I'll be fine, just have to strengthen things up and I'll be walking again.  He's kind of stubborn, so I think he took it as a challenge, ha.  

Another package came in the mail, so yay, something to wrap, ha.  Camille and I did bake those gingerbread cookies...they're tricky, it's hard to tell when they're done, so some of them are a little bit overdone, but not burnt...just like gingersnaps.  Not what we were going for, but they still taste wonderful.

We have plans to bake some different varieties and freeze some so we have a nice assortment on Christmas.  I would love to do that, and I especially enjoy frosting them.  

Today is my #6 child's birthday, Aaron.  He lives out in Phoenix, and I miss him!  We're thinking of a trip in maybe April...when it's swimming weather there...:). Happy birthday to Aaron...when he was born,  I brought Benjamin, Mariel, Joseph, and newborn Aaron to Abigail's kindergarten Christmas party...Ben was four, Mariel 2 1/2, Joseph was 18 months...after Abigail's party, we trouped up to Emily's second grade class and let the kids see the newborn...the girls loved him, but one of the boys was like, "Can we PLEASE open presents now?"  ha.  Anyway.  Aaron was a beautiful baby, and I'm sure we had a wonderful Christmas that year.  I wish I had kept a journal, blogs weren't invented yet.  

Ah well.  I won't sit here for long.  I will get up and walk around, and try to balance more on my surgical leg...the PT had me doing squats today, but my "good" knee protested, he put has hand over the kneecap while I bent the leg, and declared it was more of a problem than the surgical leg.  well, yes.  

Anyway.  You all have a really good evening.  :)

enjoying the moments!

 

Look at that face!  Old Kitty, aka Kettler, or Mama Cat...is 11 or maybe 12 now?  She loves me.  This means she follows me around.  This picture was taken when I was lying on the couch to do my heel slides and leg lifts, she hopped right up onto my tummy.  

Ruth and Maeve all sparkly...

On Saturday, Benjamin came over with Anya, Elise, and Declan...Anya likes holding Ellis...(and Kathryn came with Rhys, Jamison, and Ellis)

Auntie Evelyn with baby Ellis...I love this picture.

The weekend flew by.  Now it's Monday again, and I have PT this afternoon.  I don't dread it as much as I used to, but getting down the steps and sidewalk when it's this cold out, eeks.  I think it's four right now, which is -15.5.  At least it's not snowing though.

And, now it's Tuesday!  Recovery from this surgery is not linear, at least not for me.  My bend actually regressed by a few degrees.  It was 115 on Friday, and 113 yesterday.  I was deflated.  I had worked very hard all weekend, even with kids and grandchildren over!  My straight leg raises were extremely difficult, with the weight increased to two pounds, then the seated hanging leg raises, up to 12 pounds!  The leg press I don't even ask, but it's hard anyway, but kind of satisfying.  

My biggest issue is that I still use the walker.  I can take a step or two holding on with only one hand, but so far can't just let go...because that new knee feels so unsteady sometimes...so I practice, walk all around the house, over and over again.  It's tiring, and it feels like I'll never ditch the big unwieldy thing.  Yesterday morning I was very tired, and teary eyed.  I just felt so hopeless.  I'll be honest:  I'm a picky pants.  People do things around here for me, of course they do.  But does anyone shine the dishwasher, or water the plants, or diligently check the water level in the tree stand?  (One day I ask, and OF COURSE I CHECKED IT MOM!  (pardon me for asking).  The next day, I asked again, because I'm a glutton for punishment, and..."oh, I forgot."    I cannot get down there on the floor and water that tree.  

I just feel at everyone's mercy.  I can make a cup of coffee, but can barely get it to my chair to sit and drink it.  I can, but it's challenging.  I can make dinner, but walking with the walker and bringing things I cut, chopped, or peeled at the table over to the counter...ugh.  (but bear with me while I tell you about dinner:  a 3 1/2 pound pork loin roast, lime juice and smothered in salt, pepper, rosemary, onion, garlic...sat in the refrigerator (covered) for the day...then patted off, rubbed with olive oil, and into the new air fryer, with the temp probe set for 160, which could have been a bit lower actually.  I peeled and chopped a huge butternut squash, and cut up one red skinned potato because that's all we had, and peeled and chopped two big Granny Smith apples.  That all went into the air fryer too.  It was the BEST dinner, the pork came out tender and juicy, with a nice crispy edge, the tart apples (I mixed some brown sugar into them before cooking) with the pork, then the sweet squash with lots of salt and pepper...so good!). 

So it has been really good for me, to let go of expectations, and not be demanding, but also to be firm about some things that are important.  I could so easily be a huge nagging witch, and I don't want to be.  This is my home, and I like things a certain way.  

Yesterday, I was wrapping a few presents, and I dropped the tape.  Thankfully, Paul had just walked into the kitchen, so he picked it up for me.  I have had new thoughts of mercy for older people and people with all sorts of physical challenges.  

After I wrap the presents, I can't carry them to put them under the tree.  boo hoo, right?  I mean, the things that grate on me are trivial.  Mostly what gets me is not being able to walk independently yet.  

But.  Despite all the Poor Me stuff, life is good.  I have been sleeping better.  I still wake up frequently, but sometimes instead of getting up, I just do some heel slides in bed, and go back to sleep.  The pain is generally much better than it was a few weeks ago, but it's still achy and twinge-y, and very stiff sometimes. 

My gingerbread cookie dough is wrapped in the refrigerator, waiting to be rolled and baked.  The girls will help me later this afternoon, hopefully.  I want to freeze some for Christmas, and also make at least one batch of butter cut outs.  

Camille has to go to the college today for a math exam, so Miss Char is bringing her.  I have a few store lists for them, it's hard not to go with them myself!  It is so freezing cold here though, and icy and slippery everywhere, just getting to the car from the house is an ordeal.  

Oh, it's not all doom and gloom.  I have so many things to be thankful for.  It's been cozy and not terrible, being at home all this time.  I'm laughing at myself, "cozy and not terrible."  oh dear.

All this being said, no one here has been awful to me or lazy, they're not telling me to suck it up and do it myself.  It's all just me, and my impatience.  For example:  I like the floors vacuumed every single day, and the couches too.  The whole hallway, over by the door, the bathroom, everything.  Some days, everyone is busy (Paul does have a full time job!), so I attempt it, and it's so challenging.  The cord is my enemy, I am really tempted to buy a cordless vacuum!  It gets all tangled up around my walker wheels, it's kind of hilarious.  I am just driven to have certain things done, and no one else is.  To be fair, Paul also mops the floor after vacuuming, several times a week:)

Anyway.  The entire experience is just a classic example of how the answer is to be saved in it all.  If I believe that God sends all things for my very best, then why would I not be content?  Because I WANT.  That is the whole issue.  Me, and me and me.  But praise God that there is a purpose for all the trials, for all the annoyances, that God can do a work in me, and give me more patience, more thankfulness, so I don't have to be a miserable old lady.   This isn't a linear work either, at least in me.  It takes me a bit sometimes to let things go, and to learn thankfulness.  But oh my, thankfulness is a powerful weapon, misery doesn't stand a chance against it.  

You all have a really good day!  Stay warm!

here we are at the weekend again!

 This fine arctic day, PT was in the morning.  It was challenging to get from the living room to the car...down the stairs is always nerve wracking, then onto the icy porch, which Paul salted, so it wasn't terrible....down those two steps, and onto the sidewalk....it was shoveled, but it was so cold out, it was still a bit snowy and icy.  I made it though, and brrr!

Since you all like to hear the hairy details of PT:  I did hanging leg lifts with ten pound weights this time, then the bench press, which was not fun but not horrid.  Then the leg extension to straighten that knee, which hurts more than the exercises sometimes, then the measurment:  115 bend today!  That's only 3 degrees more than Wednesday, but Wednesday's number hadn't changed from Monday, and I was getting concerned I would get stuck.

So it was good.  Home, into the house, brrrr.  Paul made me a coffee, and I settled into my comfy chair for a bit with an ice pack.  Then, up to do another round of exercised, then wrapped a few more things that came in the mail today.

Paul had places to go and things to do, but the girls were home from their shopping trip, so off he went.  I decided to mosey into the kitchen and see what to make for dinner...and decided on "The Best Chicken Soup You'll Ever Have", recipe Ambition Kitchen cookbook.  We don't have any couscous, so Cam made a separate pot of egg noodles.  I chopped the celery, carrots, and onions, and packaged up the leftover chicken from the new pack, in lime juice, salt and pepper, and put it in the freezer.  Miss Cam did most of the soup assembly, but we had a really good time working together.

Right now, the soup is bubbling away, and it smells so good, lots of rosemary, ginger, garlic...mmm.  The Christmas lights are all on, and it's cozy in here.  Life is good, and I am happy.  A strange new Christmas song came on at PT today, the twelve days of Christmas but all the things that could go wrong, a complaining song, actually:  five months of bills...!  The PT said he just hates complaining, and I agreed.  I said, "I am actually really happy.   Life isn't how I want it right now, but it's my life!"

I didn't get into it really deeply of course, but this is a physical battle, yes, but mostly a mental one!  I'm like:  it has gone on long enough, I quit.  But, I cannot quit.  I have to keep working and moving and yes, suffering, to get that mobility back.  There's this lie that when THIS happens, I'll be happy.  But what about now?  

Anyway, life is full of trials and challenges for all of us, but we need to believe that God sends all things for our good.  Believe it or not, there are times I feel heartbroken and misunderstood, times I am lonely in the midst of all the busyness, especially these days when everyone else is busy and I'm not.  People can say things that hurt, and you can either chew on them and get bitter, and turn it into a big thing, or let it go and drop it.  

Anyway.  Camille has discovered using the Kitchen Aid with the paddle attachment to shred the chicken...:).  Off I go, to enjoy some soup...:)

Here's a blast from the past, when lots of kids lived here and had a gingerbread house contest...

The Cybertruck dropped off an Amazon package

The girls put together a new cabinet for the downstairs bathroom...and Paul with his hood on ha.

This fine morning was colder than 18!  Monday will be quite cold again...it's white out there, makes it special in here, with that lighting that only a yard full of snow can give...:)

let's focus on the good things today!

 I have slept better the last few nights...two hours, two hours, then two hours...that's not too shabby!  

PT was not fun today, but it wasn't horrible.  I was able to do what I had to do, but my bend was the same as Monday, which wasn't great, but it could be worse, I suppose.

Packages are coming in the mail, and I'm wrapping presents.  I sat at the table for too long, and oh I paid dearly....have to get up and stretch and straighten and bend, or else..ugh.

But we're talking about good things.  And now it is Thursday.  :)

It is a blustery cold and snowy day here in central NY state.  Sonja came over with baby Kaia, and was going to go shopping with Charlotte and Camille.  The snow was coming down like a snow globe, then it would stop for a bit, then start again.  They finally decided to head out, but after ten minutes or so, they returned, and Sonja headed home, the roads were not good.

Baking cookies, that's what is sounding good to me.  I've tried to get the girls on board, as I can maybe put the pans in the oven, but probably would struggle to take them out...I could sit and roll them and put them on the pans, if I had a helper or two...one of these days maybe.  Gingerbread men, rolled sugar Christmas trees, sound so fun to frost and decorate!

I did talk to a few grandchildren on the phone today, and a few different daughters, and heard some nice encouraging words from one daughter-in-law.  

Tomorrow is going to be a freezing cold day, going down to four degrees tonight( -15.5 c), brrr.  I have PT in the morning, not looking forward to going down the icy front porch and walking down the sidewalk.  But I won't worry about it already tonight, ha.  

My hope:  tomorrow's session is better than yesterday's was, my bend was unchanged, and the front of the knee quite sore and tender.  Ah well....Paul made me a wonderful dinner tonight of scrambled eggs with onions and black olives, bacon, Ezekiel raisin English muffin, one half with peanut butter, and a bowl of chopped apples, pears, raspberries, and blueberries with whipped cream.  It was SO good.  :). 

You all have a good evening, I am off to do one more exercise session, although I'd rather stick my head in the toilet ha.  :)

going nowhere fast...

Today, I wanted to do extra exercises, really work on stretching and bending and lifting, so tomorrow I'll get good results at the dreaded PT.  Well.  I did everything, but developed a new pain on the front of the knee.  I googled it, and watched some you-tubes by a Dr. who specializes in knee replacement, for some hints.  It's like a catch-22, you slow down a bit to heal, and things tighten even more.  I used the little peddler alot today, just to loosen up.  

Tomorrow, Paul is bringing Emily and Mariel's exercise bike here for me to borrow.  It's a regular upright one.  :)

So what did I do today?  Between heel slides and leg lifts and stretches and bends, and walking around practicing to hold only the cane, then sitting and icing, then getting up and puttering a little more...the day went by.  Paul marinated some chicken thighs, then put them in our new air fryer, and they were so good!  He also made us some salads, I like mine with craisins:).

Icing and elevating while the girls did their school work...

the little peddler...

I thought this was funny....cats, they do what they want.

All right, you guys have a good evening!

 

back from break....

 ...I got to go to PT again today!  I'm ridiculously silly sometimes, so when I got on the stationary bike, and noticed the seat was even lower, which makes pedaling a bit harder, I said, "Oh how nice, every time I get on here, the number is higher and it's a little easier, thank you!"  

The ankle weights for doing the dangly leg lift were increased to seven pounds.  The leg press, the horrid evil leg press, stayed the same, and I did my 30 reps.  The therapist bent and stretched my leg, and I did my flexion test:  112!  Up two from last Wednesday.  He was happy with that number, said I just have to keep at it, and keep getting those numbers up, bending that knee.  Straightening it is extremely important too, it is painful, but it's almost there.  He said the buckling would get much better when the leg is fully straight.

Phew.  

So, after PT, we needed a few things from the store, but stopped at a local spring to get some water, then headed to Aldi.  I have not been in the store in four weeks, so Paul pulled right up in front, ran in and got me a cart, and off I went.  I had been in the car for a long time, and the leg was so stiff.  I tiptoed and minced my way into the store, and let me tell you, it was cold out!  

Raspberries, pears, some Everything Seasoning crackers...it was nice to pick out my own stuff.  Paul had his own cart, and gathered up chicken, bacon, eggs, ect., while I perused the Fun Aisle.  I only bought some First Snow scented wax melts, and a roll of wrapping paper.  I also picked up a small pork roast, as I was thinking it would go good with the rest of the tart apples we have.  

It wasn't painful to walk through the store.  But it was slow going.  I didn't feel very steady, and was glad it was a small store and a quick trip.  Paul went to get the car while I hobbled out with the cart to wait on the sidewalk out front, but guess what?  The entire sidewalk slants downward towards the crosswalk, making it almost impossible for me to keep the cart in front of me!  Gravity was pulling it, and I was pulling it back!  I tried to turn it, but it wasn't having it.  Paul got there, and I growled, "The cart is out of control!"  He thought I said the car was out of control, and he was like WHAT?!  I think he thought it was rolling away or something, so he was veering back toward the car and looking at it....whilst I ever so sweetly hissed, "Please help me with this cart!"  It was just a 30 second misunderstanding, but oh dear.  I was so done.  

I told him that I know the whole ordeal took him three times longer because he brought me, but it was wonderful for me, almost like we went on a date!  Home...I made it up the stairs and into the house, got in my chair with my ice pack, and he made us bacon and eggs for dinner.  He is a keeper.

The girls are home now, the Christmas lights are all on, they are doing schoolwork, and it is quiet and cozy in here.  You all have a good night!

I do not get bored....

...here I am, stuck in the house...I've left nine times for Physical Scare-a-py, and once for Thanksgiving, in almost four weeks.  I would like to be able to waltz, prance, and dawdle around a few stores.  I'd love to go to church. (next week:  goal!).  But here I am.  This is what I've been doing:

Nothing.  ha.  No, sometimes I wander out to the kitchen and wash up a few dishes.  I put a string of lights up, which called for pulling the bookcase out to put in a plug multiplier thing.  I've decorated some things, and moved things around, and picked up a few things.  I've made a few cups of coffee, but only carried one to my chair so far.  

Yesterday we had brunch here.  Margaret brought overnight French toast and put it in the oven.  Nate and Evelyn brought eggs and bacon, which Nate cooked when he got here.  Kathryn brought a double batch of homemade cinnamon rolls, Sam brought hot cocoa, marshmallows, and candy canes.  Sonja and Oscar brought some fruit I think, and maybe a pie.  Jon and Rosi brought apples, and eggs.  

We were truly blessed, it had snowed, and it was a winter wonderland.  The kids just loved it, played outside for most of the day.  It wasn't cold and windy, just cold enough to keep that snow, low thirties.  

Sunny and Kettler (Old Kitty) on the new little couch.

Orange Guy knows a warm squishy place when he sees one ha...this is me icing the knee after a workout.

We did get rid of the red couch, it's roomier over in the toy area...the tree is in a different place this year.

So today I decided I'd try to walk with the cane as much as possible.  I still push the walker with the other hand, and let go of it when I take a step but have it there in case the knee buckles, which it still does.  But, not as much as it was last week.  I also went down the stairs a few times, once just for practice, and once to see the bathroom renovations Paul has been doing.  It's looking good.  We ordered a new cream and beige striped shower curtain, a gold curtain rod, new gold curtain clips, and wood shelves to put up behind the toilet.  (The stairs are not as terrifying, but still challenging!)

The new light fixture arrived, Paul put it up already.  It was only $24.88 from Home Depot.  

Orange Guy likes to watch tv.

I had wanted to make Christmas cookies today.  We talked about it last night.  I could sit at the table and roll them all out and put them on the cookie sheets...some gingerbread men and sugar cookie trees.  But, the girls ended up having other plans today, and I can't quite do it all on my own yet.  I can't carry those cookie sheets and walk with the cane, but soon!

The sad truth of the matter is that when I do a lot, the leg gets sore.  Conversely, if I ever sit for too long, it gets sore...and so stiff.  So I do my exercises three times a day, with cycling and walking around in between.  Right now, I have the heebie jeebies, my leg is getting these electrical zinger thingies randomly, and when I stretch it it feels crampy.  It's aching, so I have to get up and move again.  I'm only taking Tylenol now.  Yesterday I completely forgot to take any, and by evening, I was just in so much pain, oops.

I tried to sleep in my own bed for the first time last night.  Wouldn't you know, Sunny was horrid?  She whined and whined to go outside!  I had to get up and let her out.  Then she wouldn't settle in well...so I finally went out to the couch.  harrumph.  

Sleep, oh you evasive beast.  If I don't fall asleep really quickly when I lie down, the aches and pains rachet up, but if I can just slip into la la land before they reach their full symphony, then I wake up and oh dear...I have to get up and stretch and walk around...lucky me if two hours have passed.

But, we're not complaining, no we're just explaining.  It's different, right?

Winter is here, snow is here, slippery sidewalks and parking lots are here.  PT is challenging, thankfully Paul is able to bring me and help me into the car.  Shh, I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow's session...last week, the therapists explained how the goal is to add weights to everything we've been doing, to strengthen the muscles around the knee, get those quad muscles fired up...it's necessary, but I would like a teeny tiny temporary frontal lobotomy before each session, please.  

You all have a really good night!

a very thankful day indeed!

Sonja and baby Kaia...

I got to hold her too...

Evelyn set the table so nicely.

We had a feast!

Adrian and Margaret

The pies...oh, did we have pies!

 It was a very different day for me, as I could peel and chop a bit, but not scurry about.  So I enjoyed all the goings on, and reveled in the little ones.  We went around and said what we were thankful for, and there were tears of sincerity, and there was silliness.  We truly have fun together. 

Camille's lemon meringue pie was the best, with the fluffy perfect meringue, and tart lemon...but Margaret's coconut cream:  mmm.  They were all so good.  

The turkeys...so good!  Not even a hint of being dry!

Grandpa Paul with Ruth and her cousin Blythe

Sonja and Oscar, and Tennyson helping play a card game

Miss Evelyn

Today, it snowed....like crazy!  Paul and Char and Cam went and cut down a lovely Christmas tree!  

Honesty report:  I was in mild agony last night, just so stiff and sore.  I did bring my little peddle thing with me and used it a few times during the day, but oh my.  It's not easy yet.  

Now tomorrow, we're having brunch here, and there is leftover pie!  I don't know who is coming yet, but probably at least ten grandchildren.  We had so much fun yesterday, we just want to get together again.  It's all Christmasy in here, and it's snowy outside, it'll be so cozy.  I told them I can't really do anything, but they're coming anyway, ha.

Ah well...the girls are watching Stranger Things again, so they can watch the new season, and remember everything.  So off I go....you have a good night!

looking up a little bit!

 

This is what I look at when I do my pedaling, in the evening.  I've been working hard.  I also stopped taking the pain meds, for various reasons.  I was only having one at night, and one before each PT, but decided yesterday to stop.  Last night wasn't the best night, and today's PT was more challenging, but here I am, still alive.

Not that anyone cares, but here's the flexion progress for nine PT sessions:

3 days post op: 65

6 days              :70

8 days             :85

10 days           :91

13 days          :91

15 days           :97

17 days          :100

20 days          :102

22 days          :110!

Slowly but surely, because I felt good today, good to hear that number, good that I lifted six pounds of weight with dangling knee bends, and pedaled around when the bike seat was set even lower.  It hurt.  It hurt badly, especially without the Tramadol taking the edge off.  But, it felt like something sweet, called progress.

WELL.  Then I got home, sat down and made an apple pie.  When I got up, and hobbled to the bathroom, I thought someone had taken my entire leg and replaced it with a wooden leg, except that it sort of hurt, too.  ha.  One step forward, two steps back.  

Miss Cam and Miss Char were wonderful.  Cam made a lemon meringue from scratch with freshly squeezed lemons, and Char an amaretto cherry with a crumb topping.  

I did what I could from sitting...

The apple pie looked better before baking..it is packed with apples.

Charlotte Claire's cherry pie.

There are also two pumpkin out there, which they made.

  The girls went to see the new Wicked movie with some friends, so Paul and I had a quiet evening.  I had to go pedal on the little bike thing, then do some heel slides and leg lifts, some bends and some straightens, just because it hurt just to sit.  Now I'm settled down again with an ice pack, phew.  It's tiring.

Tomorrow will be interesting, but I am super excited.  Eleven of the kids, and spouses and grandkids will be there.  I'll be bringing my peddler, and some ice packs.  :)

Oooh, I am excited about this:  I ordered us a Christmas present.  We have a double sided Ninja air fryer, but it makes small quantities in the baskets, and I really wanted an open door oven style air fryer that fit more food at a time in it.  Walmart had one for $57, so Merry Christmas to us.  It feels weird to buy things for us at Christmas time, but it will be SO useful, not having to use the whole oven to make dinner.  And shh, I like things crispy!   

And, I did cave and have bought each grandchild one small gift.  :). It makes me happy.  Next year, I am going to budget and plan and get back to buying something for everyone.  It's just too hard for me not to.  (the list is long, 48 with Paul, the kids and spouses, and grandkids). This year, I just can't do it.  

Paul is redoing our downstair bathroom, as I mentioned before.  He redid the ceiling, and is painting the walls, will be putting up bead board and new trim, as well as a new light fixture, new shower bar and curtain.  He has to keep busy, and since he has not been hunting because he is here helping me, so kindly, he's doing this project too.  The girls were so excited, one of them asked if it was their Christmas present!

Ah well.  I'm tired, it was a good day, and the house smells absolutely heavenly, mostly like apple pie, because that was the last one baked.  You all have a really good Thanksgiving...oh, wait, here's the snow fall map for us...tomorrow night through Friday night...just in time to get a Christmas tree...we're in the white blob right above the city of Auburn...

Just 6 to 10 inches...:). Have a good night!

what can you even do?

 I think today is the first time I've really cried since I had this surgery.  Now don't worry, this won't be a total downer post.  I won't veer  into pity party, feel-sorry-for-myself mode.  I won't.  But.  I will say that PT was downright discouraging today. 

I worked my little butt off this weekend, or rather...never mind.  But I worked it.  I pushed myself on the little peddler, and with all my exercises.  I walked more than I felt I could, and limited my rest periods.  Mind you I don't sleep more than two hours at a time at night, and I do all my flexing and stretching and bending in between those naps, to combat the stiffness.

So.  I went to PT, did all the exercises, rode the bike, increased the ankle weights to five pounds, did 30 reps, ouch.  Then to the leg press, which is a killer, and whatever weight they had that up to, more than last time.  I had to let my non-surgical leg dangle, which killed more than the hurt one, but if I set my foot on the bar, I was told I was cheating.  It was rough.  But okay.  I did the 30 reps, somehow.  Then came the last thing, where I bend as far as I can.  It was like spinning the wheel on a game show, come on big money!  I sit on the edge with my foot as far back as it can go, then scootch forward incrementally, they say more more more...and my measurement was 102.  Not great.  Not what they wanted.  He shook his head and said, "You need to push yourself."

Okay.  Ice and elevation then home, where I cried my eyes out in the bathroom.  

So of course in my mind, I HAVE been pushing myself.  harrumPH.  HARRUMPH.

But.  All is not lost.  Because, I remembered that as we drove through the village towards the dreaded PT office, which we are very very lucky to have five miles away from us, I might add...I prayed.  I prayed because I don't like PT, I prayed for a good attitude, and to be humble, and to be flexible.  I prayed that I would make progress and get stronger and be able to walk on my own again soon.

I remembered this after my good cry.  I had prayed.  God heard.  Maybe I am just too proud.   My feelings were butt-hurt, as the kids would say.    But since I prayed, and God heard, I know that what happened was exactly what I needed.  Not necessarily what I WANTED.  :)

Patience.  Perseverance.  Hard work.  Fighting off dismal feelings.  That's my job right now.:)

We had a wonderful weekend here, by the way.   Evelyn and Nate came over yesterday.  Ev put white lights in the living room windows, and used the smart plugs, got the app for my phone, and voila, magic!  I can turn them off and on by just pushing the little icon.  She put wreaths in the windows and finished up lots of other little details.  It was SO nice.  Paul had made some really good crock pot salsa chicken, then Oscar and Sonja came over with baby Kaia, and Jonathan and Rosi came too.  Char and Cam were here, and we had a really nice time.  

This fine morning, the girls went to Aldi and Walmart with Sonja.  They got Thanksgiving stuff:  pie apples, frozen cherries for pie, lemons for pie (can you guess what kinds we are making in addition to pumpkin?). They got pepperoni and salami and cheese and crackers, and chips for charcuterie, and some drinks.  I ordered some coffee from my favorite roaster, I try not to do it too often, but for Thanksgiving, we'll have some fresh light roast.  

I have a master list written up of all the things we need to bring on Thursday, tomorrow we'll make the pie crusts.  I have a plan:  I'll chop butter, Cam will weigh the flour, measure the salt and sugar, food process it, add the butter, give it a few whirrs, and make one dough at a time.  She'll dump it into a bowl, and I'll be sitting at the table with the huge glass measure full of ice water.  I'll toss, and make the doughs, wrap each one in plastic wrap, then they'll refrigerate them.  

Wednesday, we'll roll them out....I'll cut the apples, and toss them in their sugary cinnamon coating.  Char will make her cherry filling and crumb topping, Cam will lemon meringue.  And someone will make the pumpkin filling.  

Thursday morning, we'll chop celery and onions for the stuffing, and pack up coffee, creamer, mugs, pies, crock pots of potatoes, extra butter for rolls ect., and and and.  Oh, and the Thankfulness board!

Paul is making dinner, I could get used to this.  :). He's making me a salad and three chicken fajitas (small ones).  He has been amazing.  I could not even dream of someone being nicer to me.  So don't feel sorry for me.  

I will say, my knee is aching up a storm tonight, after that brutal PT.  Is it really necessary for them to push that hard?  Probably.  ha.

Anyway....have a good evening!

I missed a nap and I'm cranky!

 This new sleep pattern of:  less than 2 hours, get up, repeat, repeat, then about one hour...has netted at the most, added up, seven hours of interrupted sleep.  That's been getting me by, but this morning, I was in the bathroom, ready to go out for my last little one hour sleep, and Paul and Sunny were up already!  I asked why so early on a Saturday, he said he was awake.  No worries, he made me a good hot cup of coffee.  :)

Yesterday afternoon, Sonja K. was here with baby Kaia, and Char and Cam were here too.  They had tons of schoolwork to catch up on, so we decided to order a pizza and some wings for dinner.  I have been really craving the dirty charred wings they make up at the place in town, they're so good, and they didn't disappoint.  I also had a half slice of pepperoni pizza, mmm.  

Such an exciting life, right?

This fine morning, Paul and I did our exercises together, his a bit more intense than mine.  We're talking about going to Arizona.  We were thinking in February, but it won't be pool season yet there, and I like pool season, to say the least.  Having their beautiful pool right there out back is heavenly.  So we're thinking April.

I have my trip to Norway booked for March, so I have a goal to be walking and moving and back on my feet.  I know it looks like I've made progress, and I have, but it's still so...dismal sometimes.  I sit and elevate, ice my knee, then get up to walk around, and it's extremely stiff and painful, truly one step forward and two back. 

Anyway, Paul and I have plans for our downstair bathroom.  He's going to finish the ceiling, put some bead board on the walls, put in new trim along the floors and ceiling, get a new shower head...I like when he gets on board with getting these things done.  Is there anything more satisfying than a good before and after?  

We have a huge room downstairs that has too much stuff in it.  Shelves with camping gear and painting equipment and tools, a large chest freezer, then stacks of bins of decorations, and toys.  Lots of toys.  There's an Emmaljunga pram, a double Emmaljunga stroller, a high chair (for some reason, my kids don't seem to put their kids in those very often...so I might just get rid of it)(I do have a booster seat with a tray, and another booster seat).  There are dollhouses and road tracks and and and.

My plan is to downsize the decorations into few enough bins that they can go in the upstairs guest room closet.  Then downsize the toys, keeping mostly dollhouse and some Little Tikes stuff, and putting that in the downstairs guest room closet.  Then, massively getting rid of everything else.  We have another bedroom down there which has an extra refrigerator and shelves in it for supplies we used for renovating rental houses, we can put the camping things and tools we want to keep in there.  The chest freezer will probably have to stay, but I really picture a big empty room for the grandkids to play in.

In that big empty room, I'd like new flooring.  I'd like some built-ins at the end of the room, with a nice fake fireplace in the middle.  A couch, maybe a game system, a few chairs, nothing else.  

Our family isn't getting any smaller, so a secondary gathering place/play space is almost a necessity.

It just takes a lot of time and effort, and some amount of money, although we do the work ourselves so it isn't that expensive, says the woman who has all the ideas. :)

Grow where you're planted, that's what I say.  We aren't moving anywhere, so we may as well make the absolute best of what we do have, which is a huge rectangle of a house, with eight bedrooms.  

Cheryl commented about having the crooked picture on the wall, oh my goodness!  Story of my LIFE right now!  I see the things no one else sees, and I don't want to nag.  I am a vacuum-every-day girl, Paul vacuums every two days or so, but he also mops all the time, so the floors are nice and clean.  I can't complain, but things still rankle ha.  

Ah well, I've been sitting long enough, have to get up and stretch, the leg gets so tight and painful...you all have a good day.  I know I will.  Sonja and Kaia are coming over, and Kathryn with Achilles, Rhys, Jamie, and Ellis...Kathryn is bringing dinner...all the fixings for grilled chicken street tacos...:)

the Friday before Pie Day...

 The holiday season looks different to me this year.  I won't be making a few dozen pies.  I plan to help with the pie doughs, and I think I can sit at the table and peel some apples.  Wednesday is Pie Making Day, and since the girls will be here to do the leg work, I can help.

We've split up the pie making responsibilities, and different kids are bringing apple, pumpkin, cherry, lemon meringue, chocolate, chocolate peanut butter, pecan.  

We're thinking to get our Christmas tree next Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.  That means I'll have to move my chair from the Christmas Tree spot, along with all the junk I've accumulated during this strange recovery period.  

Yesterday, I went to the ortho appointment and had the staples taken out.  If you're squeamish, scroll on by:  

Looking good with the steri-strips!  I can shower freely, these will fall off within a week or so.

The staples, looking a little Frankenstein-ish.  Pretty barbaric.  I did send this pic to the grandkids:). 

Each staple stung a little bit upon removal, but nothing too terrible.  I didn't look, and kept up a steady stream of conversation to distract myself.  The surgeon came in, said it looked really good, my X-rays looked really good, asked me to lift my leg, then to bend it, said I was doing great for two weeks out, and bye, I'll see you in six weeks.  WAIT, I have a few questions...I asked about the terrible knee pain with the leg lifts, he said to do less at a time and not push through that much pain.  (We tried that today at PT and it worked).  He also said it wasn't necessary to have 10 out of 10 pain at PT, but also if I baby the knee, it won't get better.  Then he as off to the next patient.  

Since there is never a dull moment, I will say this:  this particular surgeon comes with tons of experience and highly recommended, yet he is accused by the head of anesthesia of leaving the OR near the end of a surgery, and having the PA finish up, to go check on another patient.  The anesthesiologist complained about this, and was fired.  Several other anesthesiologists quit in solidarity.  So politics, big boys fighting, not sure what it's all about...who is right, who is wrong, does it mean he's a bad surgeon?  His bedside manner is not the best, but I trusted him to do the surgery.  So far it's been okay, for me, but jeepers.  I did know about these allegations before my surgery.  

I was afraid I would slip and say to him, "Please don't walk out during my surgery.", then he'd be mad at me and do a sloppy job.

But, I didn't slip.  

Anyway.  Today at PT, my bend was 100, with lots of pushing and cajoling.  I rode on the bike again, and was able to pedal around forwards, the first few times hurt like the devil.  My hanging leg lifts were with 3 pound weights, then I did the leg press again.  

It doesn't seem like progress because we came home, and I walked with my walker down the sidewalk towards the front porch, a-limping and a-hurtin.  I made it up the steps, Paul made me a coffee, got me some ice, and here I sit.  I'll get up in a little while and walk around and do some stretches, and it'll hurt.  It just hurts.  But.  I have made so much progress.  Today, we'll celebrate that, and stop being like Eyore.

Two weeks ago today, my flexion was 65, today it was 100.

Two weeks ago today, I couldn't lift my leg even one inch by myself, I had to use that strap.  Now I can lift it all the way up.

Two weeks ago today, I could barely get in or out of the car.  Now it's challenging, but I can do it.

Two weeks ago today, the first time I went down the stairs, I was feeling like I was going to faint, now I can do it, not easily, but it's not so daunting.

Two weeks ago today, I couldn't even lie flat on my back on the couch, it hurt my leg just to stretch it out.  Now I can sleep there for almost two hours at a time.

So.  Here I am.   I have a long way to go.  My knee is very wobbly, needs to be strengthened, and the only way for that to happen is the rough PT sessions, and doing my exercises here.  I have things I want to do, things I see and cannot fix, places I want to go to.  I had to ask Paul to put in a load of my laundry today, as I cannot get in there to the washing machine.  He did it, and very nicely, but I'm ready to do things myself.  

Christmas is looking different this year.  I usually buy gifts for all the kids, the spouses, the grandkids.  I am simply not doing it this year.  It's a lot of work, not just to buy the stuff, but to find a place to put the bags, then wrap it all.  I love love love giving gifts, so this is hard for me, but.  I just can't this year.  (Plus, I buy things for the kids all year round).

Instead, Evelyn and Nate have a plan to give each of the grandkids a small prize bucket thing, and do lots of fun games with them on Christmas Eve.  We donated some money toward this.  The older kids will be fine with not getting gifts, and the parents are glad the grandkids aren't getting more "junk".  

The girls who live here will get some gifts of course!  I'd love to figure out how to surprise Paul with something nice.  I do battle guilt at the hunting season he gave up, to take care of me.  He still works full time and has so much going on at work, yet he's been able to bring me to all of my appointments.  He has done all this so very nicely too.  

Now, since we are all different, I would do things differently, but I'm working on letting things go and not being picky.   Being thankful is so much better.  It's hard when you're use to being the kitchen boss, the laundry boss...oh well.  It's good for me.  Have a good day...Sonja's here!