vacation! and messes and real life....

Real life: dogs poop. They SHOULD do it on the edge of the yard, in the woods. So sometimes someone has to go out in the yard and do some raking and shoveling. And, those same dogs should never ever get into the garbage. But they do. So someone has to go out and pick it up.

The car insurance estimate adjuster guy called me as I was raking this morning, said he was on his way, several hours earlier than I had expected. Now, it's not like I had to dress up for the queen, but still...I thought I would change out of Jonathan's huge boots, take off my work gloves and wash my hands.

So...vacation: we are most likely going to Florida! We have gone a few times in the last few years, but this does not diminish the absolute excitement of the whole thing! Even the car ride, as long as it is (about 20 hours), is an adventure, driving through the states, maybe stopping into Walmart in South Carolina just to hear their accents...breakfast in Georgia, the same. We like to stop for the night on the Georgia coast, the ocean there is beautiful. Paul cannot go on this trip because he has so many things going on at work right now, and we are laving when he is leaving for India.

Anyway, yay!!!

Sunshine and warm air...ahhh.

Emily and Mirielle are having a good time in South Africa. They went to the Indian Ocean...

We need to go to the library soon. Today, the twins are visiting...they are five years old now, and so adorable. They love the puppies and the cats. They wanted to go outside, but it's so muddy out there, they have played dollhouse and Star Wars and are coloring now. Miss Lydia is coming over later, and Margaret is here working.

We're bringing the minivan up to the repair shop, too. I can say this, I never get the chance to be bored.

morning thoughts...

It should be a cozy quiet morning...it should be. But one Little Miss Sunshine has her own evil plans. There is a garbage can turned over outside, with the bag that was in it all shredded up, trash littered all over the icy snow. I went out there this morning wearing Jonathan's boots (they're huge, and easy to slip on quickly) to see why Sunny didn't come right back in with Suri and Duke. Well, because she was having a little party! First of all, you must know this: here in central New York state, we had freezing rain yesterday afternoon. Lots of it. Our little world is covered in a sheet of ice. The cars are glazed, and the yard is like a skating rink. So for me to navigate the deck steps then waddle across the yard in those huge boots...I had my arms out for balance, like I was walking on the beam...it was so slippery! I picked up the main garbage, but I was sliding everywhere, and hey, if I go down, it would be you know...the bigger you are the harder you fall.

So I left some of it out there, decorating the side yard. That just about screams that we'll have unexpected company today.

Tomorrow, the insurance adjuster is coming to check out the minivan.

And today, Margaret is coming over to work from home from here, because she doesn't have internet yet at her new apartment. (yay!)(I miss her!)

But for right now, I am the only one up besides the doggies.

We are going to gymnastics this afternoon. It's supposed to warm up, the ice will melt, the yard will get soggy, and I will have to wipe 12 paws each time these guys come back into the house. But I shouldn't look at it that way...I get to wipe paws as they excitedly wag and greet me and try to lick my face and beg for treats (they always get a treat when they come inside). It's really not that bad.

As I was telling Terre, I have been had a multitude of excuses run through my head regarding the medical tests I am supposed to have. Excuse why I don't need them, which leads me to two questions...am I afraid of what will be found, or of what WON'T be found? Hearing the words, "You're found, the tests are all clear!", is what I want! Of course! Of course of course of course! I don't want anything to be wrong! But there is a tiny part of me, the pride part, that feels like if there's nothing wrong, it's a huge waste of time and money. And I won't even get into the money part, our insurance is awful. But my mother always said, "A lady doesn't talk about money", ha. Not really.

I do miss my mother these days. I wish I had asked her more questions. When you're young, you just think the world is a stable place, a place where people will always remain. You don't imagine that one day you realize that you won't be able to talk to your mom or dad ever again in your entire life. You can't possibly imagine a world where uncles and aunts and cousins and friends have died.

From my teenage perspective, back in the tenth grade, when my mother was battling breast cancer, yes, I worried. She had an invasive cancer that was in the lymph nodes, and back then, the mastectomy surgery was very radical. She lost muscle in her upper arms, and could barley brush her own hair...wait, she lost her hair. She was sick from the chemo, but back then, there wasn't Zofran. The chemo itself was harsher, less "refined". I worried she would die. I went with her sometimes to her doctor's appointments. She was always fun, didn't complain. I think she figured that if she didn't have much time left, she would make the most of it. I didn't even realize how much she must have been suffering, because she really didn't let on.

She lived another 25 years, but had a heart attack, and then kidney failure, nine years on dialysis.

I wish I had comforted her more, taken care of her more. During those years, I was having babies and was busy, she died when Miss Charlotte Claire was newborn. Oh, when Char was born, I brought her over to see my parents when she was only like three days old because my mother wasn't well enough to go to the hospital, and my dad had leukemia. My mother held her and was so thrilled to meet her. I'm glad I did that. It's a good memory. My poor mother. Her heart wasn't tolerating the dialysis so well at that point. They would have to stop it half way, and sometimes she ended up going to the hospital in an ambulance because of heart issues...she knew her days were numbered, so after that one last time of ending up in the E.R. from dialysis, she decided to just discontinue. That meant a matter of days were left to her. She was firm in her decision, wasn't afraid to die, she said. She didn't really have much choice, other than to try to continue those three times a week dialysis sessions, and hope she didn't have a stroke or heart attack in the chair. That is rather discouraged, ha. So she stayed in the hospital when they brought her in that last Friday...she checked right into the palliative care floor, and that was it. She lived until Thursday morning. And that week is a whole 'nother story, sad but also very uplifting. You can really see the character of a person when the trials are serious, and she just shined. She seemed genuinely glad to be ending her suffering, and just lit up that she was, "going to be with Jesus!"

Anyway. I miss her so much. She was a calming presence, a voice of reason, and also so much fun.

Paul has bone broth in the crock pot. I do not like the smell of it, but he thinks it smells great. It simmers there for days, steeping the house...so I have a pan of water with cinnamon bubbling on the stove to try to cover it up. The kids are going to wake up and think we're having cinnamon rolls.

Last night, I made rosemary chicken breast strips, and a huge salad. It's nice to put all the salad toppings in bowls so we can take what we like. There was also fresh Italian bread...I took the tiny little heal piece, and had to slap my own hands to stop from reaching for more, it was so good. I love bread! Just love it! But it doesn't love me.

I also made homemade keto crackers yesterday...here's the recipe, which I stole from fatheadpizza.com.

1 3/4 cup mozzarella cheese ( substituted some of this with cheddar cheese)
3/4 cup almond flour
2 tablespoons of cream cheese

microwave this for a little bit at a time, stir, get it melted just a tiny bit.
put into kitchen aid and mix it up with the dough hook (I have mixed it by hand too, it's possible). Add an egg. Mix more.

Add seasonings! I added crushed red pepper, garlic, onion powder, salt, pepper, rosemary...

Roll it out between two pieces of parchment paper, then put on baking sheet...remove top paper. Bake until brown on edges, put paper back on top, flip over, remove top sheet again, and bake a bit more...I sliced it up into cracker sized pieces before baking the second time, with a pizza wheel.

They are so good!

This is the same recipe as I use for pizza dough...and bye, Margaret is here.

a fender bender, some freezing rain, and dr. appointments...

It's so cool outside right now! The freezing rain made an ice topping on the snow, the cars are covered in ice...I made some kids get dressed and come out with me...Sonja lasted five minutes and was chilled, but Jonathan and Camille are still out there. They are going down the slide on the swingset on their sleds...




Sunny, just because...


And, my poor minivan! Paul took her to work yesterday, and a guy going the opposite direction slid into him. No one was hurt, but my poor minivan.

I am in love with another vehicle today anyway, Emily is in South Africa, and let Kathryn use her car...a nice orange Subaru Crosstrek...I drove it to the small city today, and felt like Marge in her Canyonero...(Simpsons? Anyone?).

Anyway, I had a dr. appointment today, which begets more dr. appointments. Everything was okay, my blood pressure is dandy (120/78), my weight was excellent. Just kidding on that one. The reason I went in was because when I had that second sonogram on the tiny little breast lump, the radiologist recommended I see a specialist just to rule anything out, as in his report to my primary care doctor. So what was I going to say, "Nah, I don't want to go."? Then I told dr. about these dizzy/numb episodes I have had, she thought they were on par with migraines, but then we have to rule out neurological events, like those pesky little TIAs, which are mini-strokes. Or MS. I don't really think I have those things, but. And...there was the time a few months back when I went to the hospital for those horrible palpitations while taking Ciprofloxin. The report said to follow up with a cardiologist, because of an elevated something that could indicate a blood clot...so many things to rule out. I sat there deciding...trying to discern if I REALLY have to go to all these specialists when I am obviously well and healthy. The breast lump...well, with my sister's latest antics, and my late mother's bout with breast cancer...well, I really should get things checked out. The Neurologist...I don't know. The cardiologist? blah.

So that's what my day was like...the kids were really good and did all the school assignments I left for them, so I made them cinnamon buns when I got home. Then I made a double batch of keto crackers...

Right now I'm sipping my coffee and listening to the wind roar. It's cozy in here. Girls are doing homework, the kids are all back in from playing outside.

oh it's good to be back home again....

The weekend in Connecticut was too much fun. Here was our little stop on the way home for ice cream, with our friend Page, and my nieces Audrey and Susan...the ice cream, which I know you want to know about, is made fresh at this little shop, from the cream from the cows from the dairy farm down the road. The waffle cones are also made fresh, so upon entering the shop, one is assaulted with the aroma, the quaintness...and then, how to choose a flavor? I opted for pumpkin, and vanilla, which was like a huge slice of cold pumpkin pie with whipped cream, only the whipped cream was fresh vanilla ice cream. Sounds like what dreams are made of, right?

This stop was only the cherry on top of the huge sundae that was our weekend. It's not possible for me to put into words how good and precious it is to be with my friends. We stayed with Elise and Mark, and their five little kids...and I remembered how it was to have lots of little children...they are busy but oh my goodness so sweet.

We went to a writers'/photography workshop.

I came home refreshed, and ready to take life seriously. These countless little trials aren't sent as punishment, or even to frustrate me, but so that I can get oil in my lamp. Life is meant to be good and warm and fun and hopeful, and this is indeed how it is when one gets victory over sin in each temptation.

Returning home after being gone, wow. Who went where and did what? Abigail had Char and Cam overnight both nights, she took them to the gymnastics place for open gym night, took them to the thrift store and actually let them buy high heels, let them make breakfast...

Paul and Jonathan went ice fishing...

I was really hoping the filleting and cooking would take place while I was still gone, but Paul was doing that last evening after I got home. I am not a fan of fish, but he cooked some up and it didn't stink up the house. He said it was really good, and brave Sonja K. agreed with him.

One of the fun things about traveling is looking at nice houses. In Connecticut, the lovely homes are white, big, old, and have red doors, and candles in all the windows.

And now...it's time for school!

bad bad doggies....

Evelyn with Miss Sunny...Sunny looks so sweet and innocent...


Duke....our old man dog.


And Suri, four years old.

Why are they so bad, you might ask? Well...they got into lots of things last night. They left behind evidence of their big pig-out party...they ate an 8 pack of hamburger buns that I bought yesterday to have burgers/sloppy Joes tonight. They ate two 10 packs of those big soft cookies. They ate a six pack of fresh baked blueberry muffins. They finished off the huge package of pizzelle, there were at least forty cookies in two plastic packages inside of the plastic container...they knocked down the girls' Halloween candy, and ate ALL the Skittles (thankfully my kids don't leave chocolate around for too long). There were wrappers, packages, and cookie crumbs all over the floors.

I asked them who did it, and they just wagged. It's a good thing they are cute. So much for Suri's diet. She eats special low calorie dog food.

I painted my laundry room door. I do not like it. I painted the old pine trim with white enamel, like the window trim. It's fun to do little projects like that, but I don't like how it turned out, but maybe because it's just so different...


Have I mentioned that I am going away for the weekend...without any of my kids? Yes I am. I am going for an Active Christianity workshop in Connecticut. (if you want to read some excellent articles, go to Active Christianity.com). I am going with a few of my nieces, and some friends. I feel like it's out of my comfort zone, but I love to write, and even more, I love anything that will help others deal with life's situations. God is good. He never ever gives us more than we can bear.

So my sister has to have surgery soon, it's still getting sorted out. She has decisions to make, and treatment plans to choose, but honestly, she's taking it all quite well. Our mother was a breast cancer survivor (she lived for 25 years after having a double mastectomy, cancer in her lymph-nodes too) (she also survived a heart attack, triple bypass surgery, and lived for 9 years on kidney dialysis, three days a week). But my sister...she's facing a long road. She has seven daughters, five are married and one is engaged and getting married in May. She has 10 going on 11 grandchildren. So not beating this thing is not an option! We need her! Keep her in your prayers, please!

It's sunny and 18 degrees (-7.7), brrr. The sun is shining on the snow...

and the days passed...

Yesterday was a day of fun and adventure. Miss Char was co-pilot, with Camille and Jonathan in the back. Our first stop was a visit to the dentist. They had flouride treatments, and will go back in a few weeks for sealants, and one to have a filling done.

We went to the thrift store for 50% off Wednesday. Char was feeling sick to her stomach from the fluoride treatment, said she really felt like she was going to be sick, and the thrift store "smelled funny", and it really does. So we left.

She said she felt okay enough to go to Wegmans, which was good because we needed milk and and and. I let them pick out a small amount of candy from the bulk food, and they helped me with meal plans. They got to pick out a box of cereal...which we generally stay away from these days, trying to eat eggs or homemade breakfasts like French toast or pancakes...but sometimes they like their cereal. Cam chose the store brand shredded wheat bites with blueberry...yum.

They were really happy in the grocery store...no big kids talking to mom, getting all of my attention, and ha, picking out candy.

We headed to Moe's next, for an early lunch...

Camille and Charlotte Claire, looking sweet.

After lunch, Lowe's!...big box home improvement store, and fun!!! I try to avoid this place, it makes me want to do renovations. The kids LOVE it. They want to go down every aisle, open every shower door, try out all the faucets, open every oven. They dance and sing and exclaim over the refrigerators with the double drawers (one had a HOT water dispenser!). They picked out color sample chips for countertops (I let them each take ONE). And paint...oh they love the paint sample cards! We couldn't decide on a color for the cabinets, but I did chose a gray to paint the laundry room door. We picked out small rollers and some drop cloths, and a can of stainless steel spray, and headed to gymnastics...

It was such a good day. When we got home, Paul had already left to work at the basketball game, with Joseph, Kathryn, and Evelyn, so only Suzanne and Sonja were home...I got to work making us a nice dinner...chicken, rice with cilantro, and broccoli. The kids did some school work, then Lydia came over for the evening, and amused us by learning how to say, "poop". She's a busy little girl, but oh so funny and sweet.

And today..another day, by the grace of God. What shall we do? Library? hmm.

beginning anew...

But first of all, can I just vent? Coffee everywhere this fine January morning! It flew! The three high school girls went outside to wait for the bus, the doggies thought they were strangers out at the curb, so they started to bark. I called them over to me to shush them, and give them a treat...when I reached for the cracker I had here on my table for just such a doggie emergency, I hit my nice full cup of hot yummy coffee...hit it hard. Coffee down the wall, pooling on the floor, dripping into a bag of new clothes from Forever 21 which I had procured from the dreaded mall for the little girls, which was still on the floor next to my chair...coffee on my chair, on the table, under the table. At least it smells good, but ugh.

It was the last cup of the pot, so I started a new pot.

The younger kids are still sleeping, and I would like to join them. My eyes feel sandy. I woke up at 5:50, thinking it was 6:50 and I had to hurry. oops. I know my bed is warm and comfy, but I PROMISED the kids I would take them to the pool this morning. I promised on purpose because I knew my lazy body would balk, and it's cold out, and it's early, and we'll go a different day. But promising Camille: I can't back out.

So I am gearing up to get out the door by sitting here.

Yesterday Jonathan and I headed up to visit Margaret and Adrian in their new apartment. We admired all of their cool new stuff (it is very warm and cozy), then explored the little city where they live. First the thrift store, then out to lunch...at a place near the river. I brought Samuel there the day before he left for Army basic training. It's the city's old City Hall, wood floors and lots of brick. We then went to a discount outlet store with lots of random odds and ends, plus 75% off their Christmas stuff. I bought some solar lights for next year, an 8 pack for $2.50.

Home...I was not hungry for dinner, but I did have some miniature York Peppermint bites...they were $3.49 for a 24 ounce bag. No more for me, no more. Then Joseph made an excellent keto pizza (crust made with mozzarella cheese and almond flour), and I warmed up leftover pasta and sauce for the younger kids. It was a crazy kind of day, with kids going different places, no schedule...

I started cleaning the cabinets in the kitchen, to prepare for the painting project. It's a huge scary project for me. We have to live here and eat here, the ten of us, while this happens. The doors SHOULD come off, but where on earth would I put them all? With three dogs in the house, and two kitties...I can't imagine they wouldn't wreak havoc on freshly painted doors lying on the tables and benches. So I am leaning towards leaving the doors on. But. We are removing the handles/pulls first, so I can properly clean them, so...I'm not sure how we are supposed to open and close the cupboards while they are being painted...maybe I'll take out everything we could possibly need for the next few weeks and stack it on the tables...ugh.

The cupboards need intense cleaning before painting, I started last night. I didn't have cleaning gloves so I put a quart sized baggie on my hand to handle the strong cleanser (TSP). It didn't work because it dripped, my hands got irritate quickly. So, I have to get some gloves.

And, it's going to be a lot of work.

Because after they're clean comes the primer, two or three coats I am thinking. And I still haven't decided between chalk paint and regular cabinet enamel paint...then either wax finish or polyurethane.

Before I even start this, I am going to clean out the cabinets, get rid of extra dishes, old sippy cups, those Disney plates, odd mugs and cups.

And when this project is done...I will paint the countertops...then the tile behind the stove.

I can't decide yet what color to paint them...I am thinking a creamy old-fashioned white, but it might clash with the stark white of the new windows and trim. Or gray...will they look dated in just a few years? I just don't know. I am horrible at making decisions.

The countertops...ugh, blue...and wood trimmed. I want to try to paint them, wood and all. I have watched countless transformation videos, and read different methods...it will also be tricky to pull off, living here and eating and feeding the family while keeping things off the counters.

And it's a new year, so of course I want to get in better shape, along with the rest of America!

The fresh coffee is done, oh yummers. The fake fireplace is humming and throwing heat, with it's fake flames dancing so convincingly. The day is dawning but is overcast and chilly, snow is still covering the ground. It's a good day to stay home and get things done, or just stay here in my chair under this warm fleecy blanket. See, it's good I promised Camille!

Cam has dealt with some disappointments lately. There was a big ice skating outing planned for Friday night, but then snow interfered. Lake effect snow, almost zero visibility...they got almost to the city but turned around and headed home. Cam cried, the other kids didn't cry but were bummed out. We had made five carafes of cocoa, and two of hot coffee!

It was a fun evening anyway, with extra kids landing here too, but still.

Emily took the younger kids ice skating a few weeks ago, and when they arrived at the rink, the hours had changed because of a hockey game...so they didn't get to skate.

Then there was the cross country ski trip Emily planned, then we decided Camille wouldn't be able to last very long so she had to stay home with me.

But, Emily DID take them to the Star Wars movie and to Panera Bread the other day.

Today, Emily and Mirielle are leaving for their trip to South Africa! It seemed so long ago when they decided to go, but here it is, January of 2017.

Anyway. A new year starts, full of optimism. We have lots of schooling to do, field trips to take, projects to do. Samuel gets out of the Army this year. We hope to take a weekend to visit him soon. In March, Abigail and Jonathan are going on a cruise with Grandma. We took Jon to apply for his passport right before Christmas, what fun!

Sunny is being bad, or rather, is getting bored. She's finding things to chew on, she wants to play fetch and run around...she doesn't want me to be lazy this fine lazy morning...