in the midst of the freeze....

There is warmth and hope. I am amazed at how much I can love each and every one of my kids, each of them with my whole heart. When one of them is hurting, I suffer with them. What is equally amazing is the love they have for each other, they who can also bicker and fight like cats in a sack. Because when it comes right down to it, they truly care for one another.

My head does spin. I feel intense Mommy Guilt, I can't keep up with all the needs. But I will die trying:)

I am convinced that no matter what, the absolutely best way to live is to forgive, forgive again, and be good. And to be thankful. I know I have to be an example to my kids, that's a lot of pressure. I can talk and talk, but if I don't walk the walk, they are not stupid. So it presses me, again and again, to not give in to selfishness, to take a stand against backbiting, to give thanks, to endure temptation, to not argue....and it is a good life! Life isn't getting what you want, it is taking all things from God's hand, knowing it was perfectly planned.

And, I miss Paul. He has been gone since Saturday, and it is starting to really set in, the missing him. Now, don't get me wrong, it isn't always exactly easy-peasy to get along with Paul. We are SO different. He is a go-getter, Mr. Responsible. No excuses. And I, I am as lazy as the day is long. I fight against that, but oh my goodness, I am different than he is. He doesn't procrastinate on a regular basis. I am a talker, he is doesn't care for the boring details. We have our challenges. But we totally respect each other, and we are every bit in love with each other as we were 30+ years ago. (Our 30th wedding anniversary is in March). We talk about things, we agree on all the important things, and don't sweat the small stuff.

We both are full of hope for our kids. When any of them struggle, we both feel it. I love how we encourage each other to hold fast in faith when the trials come, when things happen that we didn't expect, that we don't understand. It is a huge blessing to have a husband who is a true partner when it really matters.

Okay. It is cold out. It was minus 14 this morning (-25c). I didn't send the little girls again. It is just too cold. Tomorrow, I will send them if it is warmer. It has been pleasant to have them home. They play school and write absence excuses for their dolls:) They do fine in school though, they keep up with their homework, and are doing well.

I love the crockpot in the winter. I put chicken breasts in there this morning with three cans of cream of chicken soup, and some spices, lots of pepper, some water. By the time it was served, it was shredded up, and the soup was like gravy. Served with potatoes and veggies, yum and easy. There is enough left for soup tomorrow, too.

I am tired, and am starting to ramble now...blah.