living and learning...

 ...Wouldn't it be nice if life were like in the movies, where you lived in a grand clean house, had a nice car, and you had more than two pairs of favorite undies?  You wouldn't have a dog who piddled on the couch, an underwire poking you in the underarm, or rips in your patio cushions that were STILL out on the deck.  

But life is running out of toilet paper and spilling coffee.  It's waiting and waiting for a call from the dr.'s office.  

This fine morning, I went to the thrift store with Sonja and baby Kaia, and Charlotte Claire and Camille.  I bought a few books, an outfit for little Ellis, a nice pullover for Grant, winter boots for Ruth, all for $13.  While I was browsing the footwear, I got a call from the dr. office, and the music in the thrift store was so loud!  So, I told the lady, I'm in the thrift store, and the music is so loud!  (Well, I WAS!).  She said, The Salvation Army?  I love that place, I was in there yesterday, and yes, it is so loud!  Anyway.  She said the CT scan is set up for Friday morning, and I couldn't very well say, Um, I have swim class then!  So I thanked her, and asked about the bloodwork I had done on Friday.  Oh, that is here, but the dr. has to look at it and interpret it, before we can call you about it.

That was this morning.  All day, I made sure my phone volume was turned up, and that I didn't leave it anywhere and get busy, no I kept it close.  No phone call.  So I thought things like it must be really bad, high immflamuation markers, maybe tumor markers, bad signs, that's why they got me in for that scan so fast.  Then I would put the brakes on, and decide that no, the dr is just busy and hasn't gotten to it yet.  

I got a letter from the insurance in the mail, giving the A-Okay for the CT scan.  That's a good thing.  

It's either a tempest in a tea cup and absolutely nothing, or it's something, and in any case, there's not a stinking thing I can do to change it.  So I am fighting to be at rest about it.  I can know something is true, that God causes all things to work together for my good, but then there is a battle that has to happen, where I choose to not listen to all those thoughts, and trust Him instead.  

Having all this health drama in the final days leading up to the surgery is nerve wracking, because I don't know whether to order the final few Amazon things (leg lifter, leg pillow, cane...), or to put together the horrible toilet seat thing, whether to pack the hospital bag?    How can I mentally prepare if I am not sure it's going to happen?

So, I have kept busy.  After the thrift store, we went to Marshall's.  I bought one outfit for my friend Anna's baby boy, due in early spring, and one for Jon and Rosi's baby girl, due at the same time.  Then we went to Walmart, where I bought plates and plastic cutlery for the housewarming party that's this Sunday. I also got some batteries, a jug of vinegar, and Camille picked out some baking supplies for the chocolate layer cake with chocolate buttercream and cherry compote filling, for her Phantom of The Opera party on Saturday.  

Home...we put things away, I brought in all my empty plant pots (I dumped the dirt in the yard already the other day, let the pots dry out a bit...so sad!), did some laundry, vacuumed the floors, then Grace arrived with Grant, Ruth, and Maeve.  It was almost three, I was going to start dinner early, because they eat early, but they hadn't had lunch yet, so they had sandwiches and fruit.  I made meatballs, pasta, a pot of sauce, and got out the Italian bread and butter, and around five we had dinner.  I don't eat pasta, as good as it looks.  I just had some meatballs and sauce, and they were so good.  I buy the little jars of garlic from Aldi, it's so much easier than dealing with fresh cloves.  I do chop a big onion and put that in though, and lots of cracker crumbs, eggs, salt and pepper, dried minced onions, and whole oats.  

The kids colored, played with play dough, went outside, played in some big cardboard boxes I saved for exactly that, played with the kitchen stuff.  Grant showed me a whole collection of things he had in his backpack, including some Allen wrenches, he said you never know when you need them.  

Ah well.  They packed up and went home a little bit ago, and it's quiet in here again.  The girls dressed up to go play costume volleyball, I won't put their pictures here unless they give me the okay, sometime they're funny like that, but oh my goodness...Camille can paint her face green and be a witch, but she's still sweet as can be.  Char dressed as MegaMind!  I hope tomorrow I can share some pics.

Tomorrow morning I will go to the ortho dr. and have my pre-surgical check up, again.  (A-gennnnn!, in my finest Forrest Gump voice!).  Then to the hospital to have the check up and bloodwork and visit the PT department and get some exercises to do both pre and post op.  

I'm in a pickle, because I have to do this in case everything comes out good with the bloodwork and CT scan and I'm going to go ahead and have the surgery, but if it doesn't, and I can't have the surgery, I am wasting time and a lot of money going to these appointments.  So, I'll go, and hope and pray I can have the surgery!

Our lives are so short and wonderful, let's not waste time worrying about things, right?  

Here in the northeast, we're expecting terrible weather on Halloween.  Rainy, windy, cold!  We're trying to figure out the best thing for the kids...the older ones might want to go out anyway, at least for a few blocks.  The little ones, no, too mean.   We are thinking to gather at Margaret's house and turn out the lights and play with glow in the dark sticks and flash lights, maybe do some dancing to videos, have pizza...general mayhem.  The forestation in their city is doing a trunk or treat, I suggested we donate some of our candy, because we probably won't get too many trick or treaters...but the ones who do make the effort should get a good handful!  (the little kids might want to go to the firehouse for that, too!)

Anyway.  Tomorrow I'll go to my appointments, and hopefully hear about my bloodwork, then I'll go buy the pork loin for the pulled pork for Sunday.   You all have a good night...the girls are home...:)