rainy stay-at-home day...

As the school year winds down and the promise of a long unscheduled summer looms, I want to impart to you all how disillusioned I am about such things. I unconsciously put up mental blocks...that block out the appointments, the rides to here and there...I envision a summer of sitting on the deck, of drinking a light beer while I grill the chicken...I am not a beer person, but once in a while it's lovely, it just goes together...a light beer with lime, being outside, listening to the tree frogs come out...marveling still at the fact that I am OUTSIDE, the warm breeze caressing my arms, bare feet on the warm wood of the deck, outside without a jacket and boots and gloves, ha.

So I have these visions of summertime. Swimming and sunning and watching the kids play badminton in the yard. Taking walks and having campfires, just being outside.

Yesterday, I grilled pork chops, marinaded in fresh lime juice, olive oil, and Jamaican jerk spices. Pork is tricky to grill, because it has to be cooked so thoroughly. We had a salad with it. Paul and the older kids left to go to a landscaping fundraiser, and I went to the awards ceremony with Evelyn. It's nice to go out with just one...Miss Ev is 16, she drove...and she looked so elegant and grown up, going up to the stage for her awards. And shh, when the superintendent gave his speech and mentioned how the parents should be commended for encouraging and assisting the students to have good attendance, ect., Ev and I just looked at each other. I think school is a wonderful thing, just not the ONLY thing. We are very blessed to have a lifestyle where it's normal to travel and visit friends and family far away. I think that's just as important, or more important, than school.

Anyway. It's still quiet here. Joseph just came in for coffee, and I told him that I don't know if I'm just old and soppy, but this spring has been the most beautiful ever, and he replied that he says that every year. I probably do too, but just don't remember it.

It's a rainy sort of day today, chilly compared to the hot days we've had, and the perfect day to get lots of homeschooling done, we are finishing up! I think we might take a trip to the library too. I want to continue that all summer because reading is so important. I like to get a stack of random books about things like the tombs of Egypt, life in Siberia, Native Americans of the Southwest, ect. They browse through them, maybe read them, share about them, and learn.

Our No Electronics During The Day rule will be relaxed during the summer, but I am definitely going to make sure it's not just a lazy free for all. I honestly believe that video games/social media, ect., the whole online thing, is the biggest thief of our precious and brief time here on earth. In moderation it's fun, it's great to connect to others, and for teenagers, it is almost essential. But, the path of least resistance is the one we take, but I am the Mama here, and I will provide a little bit of resistance, so they don't waste their summer on devices and playing games:)

So fun times are ahead...my son Aaron is flying in from California to come to the camp in the Adirondacks. My Army son Samuel will be here next week, spending some days here before we leave for the camp. Margaret, who has been in Norway for the year, has been having adventures of her own, visiting Italy (Venice!), Switzerland, Germany. Abigail is in Norway too, they won't be home until later in the summer. Benjamin cannot come to the cabin in the woods this year, he is in his training, his apprenticeship program for HVAC. But he's coming, with his wife and our two year old granddaughter Anya, later in the summer. :)

I will be attending so many concerts this summer! Not as a guest, but as a concession stand worker! It's fun though, hard work, but fun to be there with friends and family, doing church fundraising. And, we are right near the stage and can hear the music loud and clear. At the Ringo Starr concert, the song, "Photograph" started playing....and oh dear. That song just reminds me of my mother..."I can't get used to living here, my heart is broke, my tears are cried in vain...every time I see your face, it reminds me of the places we used to go...and all I've got is a photograph, and I realize you're not coming back, anymore..." As for my mother, I miss her more and more, not the less and less one would expect. She would just delight in so many things! I used to call her every day when I was making dinner. And in the mornings, too. She cared about the details in a way no one else ever has. You know, the little things the kids said, how the cashier reacted to me asking her to put the cold things in separate bags, how much I saved with coupons, and that there was a crayon in the dryer with the little girls' nice dresses.

I miss her. It's just not fair that she only had 69 years on earth. She genuinely loved everyone who came across her path. My friends would rather sit and talk to her than come in my room and listen to records (GAWD, I'M OLD!)

I guess I'm old and soppy, aren't I? But my mother wouldn't want me to be sad, she didn't believe in wasting time with that.

it's a beautiful day for a picnic!!!!

My schedule was clear today! I would have been fine staying home, puttering around, setting things aside for our vacation which is rapidly approaching. But the natives were a little restless, Kathryn wanted to do "something fun", so we swept floors, washed dishes, and did some laundry before heading out the door...Kathryn, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, Camille, Davian, and yours truly.

We stopped in to see Grandma first, and I was proud of the kids, they know how to sit nicely and not interrupt while the older ones visit, even though they were anxious to get to the playground.

I let them choose lunch: some pizzas, McDonalds, or Chinese takeout...of course they wanted Chinese. While we waited the fifteen minutes for the food to be prepared, we went into the drug store and I let them pick out drinks...pink milk,chocolate milk, lemonade...bottled water, for me.

We parked downtown, and put the money in the meter, and trekked down the sidewalk to the restaurant. For little kids, this is all an adventure...crossing a city street isn't something they do everyday.

Then, as we got to the van, the rain started...it absolutely poured. Well kids, guess what? We're going home to have a picnic! They got all excited about that, because they're smart kids. They realize going to the playground in the pouring rain isn't going to happen. When we got home, Davian said, "We could have gone down the slides in the rain and had water slides!"

Anyway...they ate their yummy food at the coffee table, and are playing dollhouse...the kind where the whole living room is a be-careful-where-you-step zone.

So our day was fun.

Tonight, there is an awards ceremony at the high school, and we are going because Evelyn is getting an award. The older kids are doing a landscaping fundraiser.

I'm glad God watered the garden for us today, and who doesn't love an afternoon of trees swaying in the cloudy breeze, with darkening skies and downpours? Jonathan is so nicely bringing his mama a cup of coffee, even though he is busy taking a test.

As I sit here typing, I see my hands on the keyboard...they're old lady hands. The veins are popping out like my mother's did. They are wrinkled. When you're fifty, you realize that you would be one lucky son-of-a-gun if your life is half over, it's is more than likely two thirds finished, but who knows. Could be more, could be less, but in any case, you're getting old. In twenty years, Miss Anya, my sweet granddaugher from out in Washington state...will be 22, and I'll be seventy. Seventy used to seem so old! Now it seems...ah, not too terribly old, not as old as EIGHTY. If I live to be eighty, my oldest daughter, Emily, will be 61. She had better take good care of herself, because she promised not to ever put me in a nursing home. That's why I want to lose weight, ha, so I can stay healthy and get old and not be too heavy for Em to lift.

It seems like I spent years trying to prove I wasn't too young to know what I'm talking about, being the sixth child of seven in my family...the older ones teased me, and talked to me with patient dismissal of my wisdom in any given area. Then I got old enough to be disrespected all over again by my kids, who say, "Yeah Mom, back when there were dinosaurs...when cell phones were as big as your face...when people used PAY PHONES, ha. They think school was easier back then. They think kids weren't cool at all, but we were. We were cool.

Anyway...I am getting old, but I am thankful for these kids who still keep me young. They are playing, taking over the whole living room, talking about the differences in boys' voices and girls' voices, then breaking out in another song.


Camille loves to sit with me.


Yesterday, it was a beautiful sunny breezy day, and I sneaked to the grocery store all by my lonesome. Kathryn agreed to keep an eye on the kids. Cam likes to go with me, but with her broken ankle, I thought she should stay home and lie a little bit low. I started out with a quick run into the thrift store...I found a rare Gotz baby doll, signed, for $3.99. A Radly of London leather purse for $4.99. A nice new purse for me for ten bucks, which is expensive, but it's a brand new purse. I checked online, and the Radley purse is something that would sell nicely on ebay, but Miss Evelyn fell in love with it, so she has a new purse. Two of the other girls were indignant, they need purses, too! I had no idea they would like it so much, girls are a puzzle sometimes. The doll is cute and sweet, but I am hoping to sell her.

The dollar store was next: bags of Reeses' Peanutbutter Eggs...for a dollar, of course. We don't mind that Easter's over. They're still good. I bought some swim floaties for the camp, some little paper plates for camp, and some snacks to put away for the camp.

The grocery store was fun all by myself. I used some coupons, even.

When I got home and put it all away, I had a little bit of time to relax before going with Paul to pick up his truck...it took a few hours because the dealership was a ways away. It's a nice truck, a Nissan 4x4, with a back seat.

Corn on the cob for dinner, with leftover beef and chicken.

Sam called yesterday, he's coming home next week!!! Oh how happy I am that Cabin-In-The-Woods is coming up!!!!

It means lots of packing, but yay!!!!

trying to unlazy myself...

Paul is a difficult guy to be married to, because he's so good at everything. He manages to fit in exercise, no excuses. He has extensive arthritis in his shoulders, but still works out around it. He cuts back on sugar, and is as slim as the day we met, yet he can afford to stuff a few chips in his mouth when he walks in from work and dinner isn't ready yet. He doesn't forget responsibilities nearly as much as his scatterbrained wife, and he's just more active. Sitting is "so bad for you", he says, as he does this and that and makes me feel so lazy. Never intentionally. He's too nice for that. But you know how it is to be with someone who is just by nature, an achiever...

I know I was lazy yesterday. I was. Who wouldn't be? Saturday was a busy day. And I had a good book to finish...and another good one to start. "Lazy"...as lazy as I could get away with in between doing stuff. You know, not exactly shutting myself in my room, but picking up the book when I had a chance...

The kids had three friends over, and Emily came for dinner, so it was a nice day, even with the clouds and intermittent rain. The kids don't care about rain, they still went in the pool. They still made sno cones.

Emily and I are planning another event, for this Saturday. We are planning lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner for 60 people, and will go shop for the food on Thursday. I love doing these things!

Today, we need groceries. The refrigerator is looking very sad indeed. The empty produce drawers glare at me, and when we get down to the last of the milk and half/half, it gets scary. Black coffee? eeks.

We are totally spoiled. We have food in the freezer, in the pantry. We could live on it for a while. But the girls pack their school lunches, and like to grab bananas and fruit and yogurts. Even when I fill the 'fridge with groceries, they'll open it and stare..."There's nothing to eat."

The girls had their cousin Dani spend the night, they were awake in their room until midnight, then are in there whispering and giggling already. That's the thing I don't like about sleepovers, they'll be tired and grumpy today.

But they sure have fun. They had the karaoke machine going....they have ten times the energy I have.

Ah well. It's too beautiful a day to go to the store, maybe I'll have Kathryn watch the kids and I'll sneak out by myself and get in done quickly....

the saturdays of summer...#childhood

Yesterday was Saturday. All of the older kids had plans, they were gone from early morning to late at night. That left Paul and I home with only the two little girls...and the four year old twins, Sebastian and Linnea and their 7 year old brother Will. (Their mom and dad went on the day hike with my older kids).

Paul had things to do and places to go, (he bought a truck, yay!)...so it was like the old days...me, and lots of small children.

And it was glorious.

The day was like one of those where you almost pinch yourself because, could it really be this nice out? Not too hot, but warm and sunny, with a lovely breeze. The kids played dollhouse. They played house. They colored. They had sno cones (I have an industrial sized sno cone maker on my kitchen table, Paul and I bought it years ago to make sno cones for church events, and I brought it home for the summer..)

Anyway...at one point, they were playing "zoo". Four of them were on the trampoline, and Camille, who cannot go on the trampoline because of that pesky broken ankle, was the zookeeper. She had dishes of food, like bowls of water with leaves floating in them, and it was feeding time, when I was out there making sure they weren't playing with matches or knives.

They played on the swings, and we went in the pool a few times. We had sno cones again. I grilled chicken on the deck, and we ate outside. Sebastian assured me that he did not like chicken, but once he had one little taste, he decided he actually did like it. He ate seconds and thirds.

At the beginning of the day, I talked to my girls about electronics...and we agreed: no games, no tablets, phones, movies, ect. It was going to be an outside day.

It was around dinner time when I realized that the twins usually take a nap. oops. It never occurred to me to have them lie down, and they probably wouldn't have fallen asleep here anyway, but still. I felt bad because they were just little Energizer Bunnies all day long, and probably were falling apart when they got home.

The day was not without trials, of course, no day is. There was a large splashy drink spill, and a few squabbles.

And in the afternoon I left for a bit, when Paul returned home, to go to a bridal shower for my nephew's fiance. I came back with some little packets of mints, party favors, for Camille-the-zookeeper to feed to her animals in the zoo.

By the time our little visitors were in their carseats and on the way home, my older kids were pouring the door, telling about their day at the park. Jon fished and got one bite but didn't catch anything. They hiked and had a huge cookout, and way too much fun.

Oh, the blissful days of summertime. Today we are having a rainy day, with thunderstorms later on. I would like to stay in bed and read all day, but someone had to get up and take the dogs out, feed them, wash dishes and wipe down counters, throw a load of towels in the wash, and put some beef in the crockpot for dinner. I got up early so I could eke out some quiet time, then found myself doing all sorts of chores, so I just ditched the sweeping and sat in my comfy chair to write. I hear footsteps and doors opening, so....

happenings...

Randomness!

1. Kathryn is done with school! She passed her New York state high school equivalency test, which has been changed recently, and is more difficult. It is supposed to be equal to having four years of high school, so yay Kathryn is done!

2. Samuel is coming home in eleven days!

3. Suzanne is having a school friend over this afternoon (the girl I met yesterday and hugged:)), and we have to clean the house...when the weather is warm, I do the bare minimum. Wait, when the weather is cold, I also do the bare minimum.

4. Tonight, Paul and I and Kathryn and Emily are working at the Ringo Starr concert.

5. Tomorrow, all of our kids except for Char and Cam are going to be gone...Joseph left this morning for a camping trip in the Adirondacks, and tomorrow Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, and Jonathan are going on a hike, cookout, with friends from church.

6. Our house will be far from quiet and empty though, because we are having William, and those sweet twins, Linnea and Sebastian here for the day.

7. There's a wedding shower for my brother's future daughter-in-law, which I hope to attend even for a little while, maybe with the small children, or maybe I'll leave them with Paul for an hour.

8. Paul is looking at a few trucks...our poor truck was almost paid off, now we have to start over again.

9. The sun is shining and we wanted to go to the beach, but Joseph took the van to the Adirondacks, and I didn't feel like driving Paul to work again...plus the cleaning-the-house thing...ugh.

10. I don't mind having an incentive to get cleaning around here...I love when it's shiny and neat...it's just so repetitive.

11. We have school stuff to finish up, and it's so hard when the birds are singing and the sun is shining and the pool is calling.

12. Davian is here this morning with his bible books. He knows how to read, and is doing activity books. He's so funny. I gave him a four-colored click-y pen, and he's in love. It's funny because he's so small (he turned four in February), and is such a reader, so he speaks like a book sometimes. He just told me he needs the color gray, and that black and white mixed make gray. His attention span is unreal, and he's sweet and cuddly as well as unbelievably smart.

13. I am stalling here...sitting here thinking of what to write, when I know darn well I should get the house clean so we can get out to the pool. Once I start, it won't be so bad. And I have already swept the living room and kitchen, and picked things up, but blah, I don't feel like doing more...

14. I got a few good books at the library yesterday, and I'm halfway through one already. When I have a good book, oh it's hard to do anything else.

And ha, I'm done stalling now...off I go to clean things up...

and then there are trials....

We went out for ice cream!!! This is one of the things I love about homeschooling, the freedom to do what we want when we want. I was going to have a soft-serve twist, chocolate and vanilla, but at the last minute I decided I would be happier if I didn't. Because I assessed how I felt, and I really didn't want one that badly. I know, not a big deal, but to me...each temptation is a big deal, and if I just said, "what the heck", and gave in each time, I would gain back all my weight. So I fight, and I assess, and I don't give up. The kids really enjoyed it though:)

Anyway. Life isn't totally all sunshine and roses.

Today was one of those days. The difficulties weren't stacked up one after another, but I had a really rough night. If you have ever had a really really bad migraine, you can relate. It was one of those superbly painful ones, one where the feeling that the barf was all the way up to my chin, ready to fly out, because the pain was so intense...the throbbing stabbing pain.

It started in quietly, yesterday afternoon...then it got bad during the night, when I realized that I wasn't going to get any sleep if I didn't get some ibuprofen. I was lying there waiting for Paul to get up for work, so I could ask him to get me some. Then I looked at my phone, which killed, because my head was screaming when I moved. It was five o'clock. He wasn't getting up any time soon. So I hobbled in and got two, drank lots of water, and got back into bed. The throbbing pain was so intense, I tried my best to relax every muscle and not move, so it was subside...by six it wasn't any better, so I got up and took two more ibuprofen. By seven, it was easing off a tiny bit, but I was exhausted. I think intense pain tires me out.

But it also helps me have mercy on others. Pain teaches us to value the times when we feel good, too.

I couldn't get up to see the school girls out the door. I couldn't get up for Davian, good thing Kathryn was here.

Suzanne called me from school and asked me to bring a few things she needed for a presentation. Ugh. I knew I had to get up, but my head still hurt, and every time I closed my eyes I was dreaming again. I finally got up, at ten a.m., feeling wrung out and awful, not like one would expect to feel after sleeping in until ten.

Anyway,I brought Suzanne's stuff to school (and met her friend, who has wanted to meet me for a while, I gave her a hug!) I brought Kathryn to the library, then to Kohl's, because I had Kohl's cash, and a 20% off coupon. Kathryn needed khaki shorts for tomorrow night, for our new church fundraiser, working a concert venue in the city, on the lake. Ringo Starr is coming tomorrow night, to the brand new outdoor stadium. We are working the food concessions there, and have to wear khaki shorts or pants.

I also got her a nice pair of Birkenstocks for $26, boots for Char and Cam for next winter for $8 a pair, pants for Jonathan, a few tank tops for me, and a few other things...it all adds up so fast, even when it's at bargain prices.

We then went to the grocery store for just a few things, like strawberries and peppers and tomatoes and cheese and chicken.

Home...ah home. Lydia was here!

She likes the Little Tikes car.

We had taco salad for dinner out on the deck, Emily joined us, and Samuel SORT of did...he was on the phone. He's doing well in the Army Old Guard these days, he's now officially a team leader, in charge of five guys, one of whom is five years older than Sam. He was in the ceremony on Memorial Day at the Tomb, with President Obama, and said it was so hot and humid...

But he saw the old guys there in their Vietnam caps, and was sorry for feeling complain-y.

He was also in the Twilight Tatoo last night, and afterward there is always a meet-greet, and he got to shake hands with some veterans, and with lots of kids who delight in meeting the soldiers.

Sam's excited because he is coming home in two weeks, and we're excited to see him.

Four kids are in the living room this fine evening, so I have to be more attentive.

I got through this day, and hopefully I got lots of treasures too. I hope my headache wasn't just in vain, just a suffering with no results, that would be tragic. I hope I got something out of it...

when the kids get older, it'll get easier....

ha...ha...ha.

Okay, it has gotten easier in many ways, the whole diaper thing has faded from recent memory...and of course no getting up in the night with newborns or using bibs, bottles, sippy cups...except for when I babysit and have my granddaughter over.

And car seats...do you know how many car seats we used to have in that 15 passenger van? Neither do I, I don't remember, but it was at least four...maybe five.

We can leave a drink on the coffee table and the only one who will get into it is the dog, with her waggy tail.

Easier, yes,...but would you believe my days are still filled up?

I have been driving Paul back and forth to work, which was about two hours a day in total, but now the minivans are both inspected and running, so tomorrow it will feel like I have a few extra hours! This afternoon, Suzanne went to a friend's house to work on a school project, the red van had to be picked up from the shop, I had to pick Paul up from work, and we were going to look at a vehicle for sale, as he would like to replace his smashed up truck.

Mali had asked if Wednesday was a good day to visit, and yes, it was! I packed up the three youngest kids, and Davian, and went to the dollar store and BJ's quick this morning, for important things like chocolate and popsicles, and of course meat and veggies.

Our visit was short because I had driving to do...then home again to make dinner.

The kids all went to activity club except for Evelyn and I, so we took a quick swim after dinner. The pool is warm, but not completely clean yet, there are still leaves that need to be vacuumed and skimmed out.

Now it is quiet...Evelyn went to her room to read, Paul is around here someplace, probably watering the garden...and I am sitting here all comfy. So yes, it has gotten easier.

And I appreciate the down time. I have been up since 6 a.m.. I am ready for bed.

I am old now, compared to when I had those little babies to take care of, and I wonder already how my younger self managed.

Oh yeah, I am babysitting for Lydia tomorrow...even with her, I wonder how I kept up. It's busy. Babies are busy. She's crawling, and pulling herself up...so much for that drink on the coffee table!

But anyway, here's my point: life hasn't really gotten easier...the kids grow up, mom and dad get older....kids need to go here and there and everywhere, and still need to be fed...but....here's the thing: they are worth it.

My three school girls (Evelyn 16, Suzanne 15, and Sonja K. 14) get off the bus, chattering and snacking and making a pot of coffee, and it's so nice to be here with them! I got to swim with Jonny today, Jonny who takes the responsibility of taking care of the pool very seriously. Jonny who rides his new birthday bike all around the yard, and carefully puts it away when he's done. Jonny...he's my friend:)

And the princesses...Char is learning to do an aerial. Cam is dragging, because of her ankle, and the high black boot she has to wear...in the heat. She gets tired out, but she clomps along anyway. I let her ride in the cart in BJ's today, she liked that.

They were happy because of the free samples...today they had peanutbutter filled pretzels, miniature slices of pizza, and cute little cups of grape juice.

They like going through the self-scan aisles.

They are delightful. They sing in the van. They like to lie on the blanket in the yard, in the shade of the pear and maple trees, and talk about important things, like that two anacondas are as long as our house.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows though. The freshly mowed grass gets tracked through the house. The dishes, oh the neverendingdishes. Char wants a summer haircut but she doesn't trust me to do it since the horrible incident with Camille's hair, and thank you Char, now I don't trust me either. The dogs have fleas...the end of the year reports have to be written...one of the older girls is being difficult...

And now they are all home, seven of them coming up the deck steps and in the door....