starting over, again...

Monday is as good a day as any to start over. On my New Lifestyle. Again. I haven't seen good results in a while, am living day after day, week after week in Maintenance Mode...while it is better than just gaining it all back, it isn't good enough.

So, since today is the first day of the rest of my life, I shall be good today.

This past weekend...ugh. Don't get me wrong, it was great fun. Saturday afternoon I drove to the hotel in the big city with four of my friends on board, meeting up with Karen, who was waiting for us there. From the time we checked in until the time we left, we had a good time. That good time included some corn chips, some chocolate, and too much popcorn. At breakfast, I avoided the pastries and the made-to-order French Toast. I ate an omelet with tomatoes, bacon, and green peppers. I had a low calorie yogurt, some grapefruit and melon...and too much bacon. Then yesterday....kettle corn. And peanut m&m's.

blah. I ate well, just too many extras.

Why do I slip up and allow this to happen? I lie awake sometimes wondering. It isn't because I have emotional disorders or want to sabotage myself. It is just this simple: it is yummy. Peanut m&m's are yummy. If I count out ten, I just want more. So yesterday I didn't count. That is not good. I need to either stick with NO, or count out my ten (100 calories) and say NO, and suffer it out. There is a suffering either way. I prefer the suffering of saying NO to the suffering of not losing weight. But in the moment, it is hard to have that so clear. I just say What The Heck, and have a few more. ouch.

So today is a new day. I have fallen down so many times in this battle, but hey, as of today, I have gotten back up ONE more time than I have fallen!

I do believe that eating sugar begets eating more sugar. I do believe that. Eating a handful of kettle corn only makes me want more. But....if I can just have that mindset that I Don't Eat That Stuff, eat my healthy stuff, and be happy, then I will be fine. I know I can do that because I did do that. And I got results.

Anyway, life is more than all of this, good thing, ha.

Today I get to go to the orthopaedic dr. about my bad knee. Which is much better now, but I decided to go anyway because there is so much crunching and grinding when I walk and exercise.

Hurry hurry from that appointment to the next one, vision exams for Suzanne and Sonja. They get to pick out glasses, which is great fun.

I am skipping working at the Dome today for the basketball game. I felt bad because more workers were needed, and even offered to re-schedule my appointments, but a couple of the younger kids stepped up and worked, thankfully. It takes a long time to get in to the orthopaedic office.

Suri is doing well. She hobbles around just fine on her three good legs. Yesterday she started going up and down the half flight of stairs to the front door so I didn't have to carry her, which is a huge relief, she is a heavy girl. She is taking her antibiotics and her pain killers like a champ, seems to know if she lets me get those pills down her throat, she gets treats. She stands there wagging her tail, I thought by now she would be turning around and taking off when she saw those little bottles. Her incision is healing nicely, I guess she is leaving it alone well enough and won't need one of those cute little cone thingys.

After I get out of this comfy chair, I shall put the clothes in the dryer, load in a second load, then exercise.

Oh winter, how I hate thee.
Your snow is so sparkly, it's quietness soothes.
But your cold gets old.
The stress of driving on your ice with your wind blowing your snow across the road
is bad enough but when my kids have to drive in your treachery,
my adoration for your beauty
turns to hatred.

a poem, by me.

ha. The deal breaker is always the safety and well being of the kids, isn't it? No matter that Emily is 28 and Abigail is 26, when it is snowing and blowing, they are my kids and I am their worrying mom. Mirielle and Aaron also commute to the big city, as does Mali, although she usually rides with one of them. A few of my sister's girls commute to a small city up near the big lake, and it is even snowier and blowier there...so I don't run out of things to pray about.

Spring can come, I am ready.

Ha, it doesn't escape my notice that Mali totalled Abigail's car on a fine summer's evening.

Oh well. Time to move it.