normal life....

I have so many thought swirling around in my head, I just couldn't head out for a morning walk yet! I needed to sit down and write while it is still relatively quiet. The seven school kids are out the door, Mirielle is home from the gym and into bed for the day, Kathryn is leaving to help my niece Susan go on an outing with her three little ones, and Jonathan...well, shh, Jon is still sleeping. And, Joseph is painting.

The dogs are snoring, the clock is ticking, the little fountain on the end table is trickling, I could almost fall asleep.

So I reasoned my way out of a morning walk...it will be warmer out in a few hours. I need to take advantage of the quiet time. Oh, how I sabotage my own self.

I did walk yesterday, which was freezing. The wind was cold, and I haven't been walking much because of the road being too slippery, and it being way too cold out. So it did feel nice. Today it will be 45 degrees, very nice for walking.

In a few hours, I am going car shopping with Mirielle, which is the blind leading the blind, but whatever. She doesn't like to drag things out, she picked out a few she likes, and wants to get it over with. Good gas mileage, good reviews, and good in the snow, since she works up north near the lake. And cute, it has to be cute. I added that. It may be girly, but if you are going to pay tons of money for a car, get one that makes you smile, or at least one that makes you feel cute when you drive it. Not that I know what that's like, driving my banged up minivan or that big 15 passenger van.

Anyway. I am once again thankful that I can go along on such adventures with the older kids. Jonathan will probably come too, he probably knows more about cars than Mirielle and I combined. And he's not afraid to ask the salesman, either.

This morning I was thinking about happiness. In my humble opinion, there is a certain peak level of happiness one can achieve. More stuff doesn't necessarily mean more happiness. When I was growing up in the seventies, paper towels were considered luxuries. We ripped them in half, or used rags to clean up spills. I'll never forget the horror on my mother's face while visiting friends, and the lady of the house just ripped like three paper towels off the roll to clean up a little mess, like they were free! Ha, my poor mother. I remember her commenting on it, saying money doesn't grow on trees.

Anyway. When we have lots of paper towels, I feel rich. When I know where a roll of tape is AND where the scissors are, oh boy I am a millionaire.

Paul is leaving again, on Saturday. Oh, the train to Paris, and a flight to southeastern France the next week, oh I am so jealous. It is ugly to be jealous, I am trying not to be. He is traveling with others, a few may be female, far be it from me to comment on that again, but still. I know it is not anything bad, but still. I am jealous. My life seems so boring and just boring compared to his, and honestly, he is very excited about going back there. It's like he has this other extra life without me, and I hate it. There, I said it. I hate it. Is that okay, or do I have to like everything?

It makes me want to go do something fun too. I told Mali maybe we would go visit Gramma in Florida on her spring vacation in March. That would be something to look forward to, and Mali is too much fun.

As long as I am feeling a wee bit sorry for myself, I will say this: I am not good at my job. I cannot keep up. I try, I really do. My people skills are much better than my housekeeping skills, but I tell you, it is challenging to mother so many kids who are growing up and have all sorts of different needs. I am not talking about giving rides or appointments or keeping them all in jackets and shoes. I am talking about having connections with them, and giving them the proper attention. I enjoy them all so much, and it is truly time well spent to be with them. But it IS challenging.

Wait, that part isn't always difficult! Friday night, I had a good old time with Emily and Abigail! We went to this Mexican place in the city, in an old church. Spanish rice and beef tacos with tomatoes and chiles....homemade salsa and chips. We all really enjoyed our food, then decided to split one piece of Key Lime pie for dessert. Yup, one slice, five forks. Not because we are cheapies, but because we were quite full, but really wanted to taste the pie. And, it was super yum. (when we were leaving, a few went in and used the bathroom while Cheryl and I waited. There was only one stall, so it took a while. Abigail was the last one out, and Cheryl noticed her furry boots and asked her if she had killed a bear. I didn't know she was talking about the boots, I thought she was referencing the time spent in the bathroom, and thought "killing a bear" was a slang term for...well, for taking a while in the bathroom:) I was thinking of running in quick to pee before the ride home, Cheryl said I should just hurry up and do that, and I said, "Not after Abigail killed a bear in there!"...oh, I guess you had to be there.

Anyway. Kitty is sitting on my arm purring, making typing just a tiny bit possible.

I already washed dishes and swept the kitchen and living room, and put in a load of laundry before sitting down, but there is always more to do. Jonathan is having breakfast and is ready for some school work. His mind is already ticking, he is waiting for me to finish this so he can ask me the million questions about Mirielle's car shopping trip.

And so, off I go, into my day, certain of this one thing: God causes ALL things to work together for the good for those who love Him.....(Romans 8:28) I may not like everything that befalls me, but no matter what, I will partake of salvation and get heavenly treasures in these earthly circumstances....