terrible tuesday...

Camille found a new passion. She isn't the picture of grace, which sometimes breaks my heart, but she THINKS she is, so it's okay. You should see her do ballet.

Ah. Today is sunny and beautiful, and not really so terrible. I mean, I am alive. That's something. I won't complain about my Hollowed Out night. (That's when you fall asleep like a log, then wake up and think about things. The bed is uncomfy and you get hot and cold and have great ideas and the list of things you know you have to do grows and grows...then the blinds start brightening, and you check the time...ugh, almost time to get up. You try to fall back to sleep for that last hour, but don't doze until like five minutes before you have to get up. That's a hollowed out night.) Anyway. Aside from feeling really sleepy, it's a good day.

Yesterday...I dropped some kids off at the library, then headed to Target to buy a new blender. Our old one died after only two years, but appliances in our house are used like five times more often than the average. And my kids are smoothie makers. We chose a nicer model, and it the kids couldn't wait to come home and start making smoothies. I also bought Char and Cam each a cute pair of shorts and a top, for our upcoming trip to Washington D.C....Memorial Day weekend. I found some pants for Jonathan, too. And leggings for Sonja. And popcorn and slushies on the way out the door. They love to pour their own icee/slushie. Of course they do.

Then...to Aldi for half and half and milk and eggs and bananas and oranges and lemons.

Then to Tops for a few other things...I found Dannon fruit on the bottom strawberry yogurt for twenty cents. I got 21 of them, left one behind because my mother taught me to never take the last one. One of the kids asked why I was buying so many...duh. For smoothies!

Anyway. Home, put the stuff away, and took Kathryn to soccer practice.

The kids weren't very hungry for dinner because they had smoothies so late in the day, and Paul ate a late lunch. So I cooked up some bacon, then baked a big batch of kale tossed in olive oil...sliced up some grapefruit, and washed the strawberries. A healthy little snack.

Davian is here today, playing dollhouse with Camille. Charlotte Claire just woke up and told me that she was awake all night. I showed her where I wrote about the Hollowed Out night. hmm. Her's sounded just like mine.



I do have places to go today, but tomorrow I might stay home...if I can. I don't mind going out and about, but it's hard to balance school, cleaning the place up, and all these home improvement projects are only getting done in my mind in the middle of the night.

Last night when I did sleep, I had a dream about a tiny baby. I scooped that baby up, it was warm and trusting and I loved it. It's mother said I could have it, then it's daddy came along and took it away. I just stood there rubbing my empty hands together, telling that daddy to be good to his baby. Okay, I know it made no sense.

Ah well. Paul rototilled a spot in the front yard for Evelyn and I to plant stuff. I am no landscaper, and neither of my thumbs are green. But now that my little ones are growing up, the things that I never had time for are possibilities. For years and years, it was enough to just get the lawn mowed, and paint the trim every few years, maybe do some weed-eating. There was simply enough to do INSIDE the house. When I got outside, I had babies and toddlers to tend to...and just painting trim, for example, was accomplished real quick during naptime.

Time to get moving...I have washed dishes and swept and mopped and wiped down counters. Now I have to get these kiddos some breakfast and start some schooling...