Thursday, March 9, 2017
crazy in love....
33 years today! Happy Anniversary to us! I told him he lucked out this year, he was in India for Valentine's Day, and now Ireland for our anniversary.
It's a work, marriage is. I can be so certain of what he's thinking, of what he means, and react according to that without even giving him a chance. Ha, I am not saying I'm wrong though, just that maybe, just maybe, I will be one of these days. :) Seriously though, it is a work. Feelings feel so real, and when I perceive I have been wronged, my instinct is to fire back. Or put up a wall, to protect myself. And really, he doesn't mean anything, or I maybe misunderstood, or maybe, just maybe, I am the one being a brat. Not likely, but stranger things have happened. I mean, the other day before he left for his trip, he said he had to go to Walmart to get the outlet plugs that are compatible in Ireland. I offered to go for him, to save him a Walmart trip, he hates that place. He laughed, and declined the offer. He said, "You'll get the wrong one and I'll have to go back anyway." Murder has been committed for lesser offenses I tell you. He was only teasing me, but I felt like he was calling me stupid. I started pouting, then I realized what a waste of time it was, because for one thing, he had already left for Walmart...and the other thing is, well, it's pointless.
I love him. I really really do. He loves me too. Here's the thing...we were so busy with babies and kids and teenagers and messes and maintenance and potty training and showers and baths and laundry and meals and shopping...for years and years and years...we rubbed elbows and were tempted to get on each other's nerves, but somehow, through the grace of God, we didn't let our love grow cold in it all. And honestly, there were times when I know I was no prize. I was fat, I was tired, I was frazzled. I love my life, but it hasn't been without challenges. I would clean one room, and the other ones would turn even more tornado-ish. Then it would be time to make dinner when I was up to my elbows in sorting laundry, and then there would be things to go to in the evenings and the kids all had to be dressed neatly and and and. It hasn't been an easy trip through life. The blessings definitely far outweigh the struggles, but my point here is that our married life hasn't been a Disney movie, played out in a tropical paradise.
I think a successful marriage has to be in the framework of a commitment. Like, no matter what, we are together. There has to be respect. I have always felt that he respected me, even when he teased about me not getting the right pluggy thing. ha. There has to be self acknowledgement, and there has to be forgiveness. And kindness. When I am not really feeling the love from him, even though I know it's there somewhere, I have found that I can be the one to just be good, give a hug, smile at him, whatever.
Anyway. Today we went to the airport with Jonathan and Abigail, they made it down to Florida and are with Grandma now, leaving in the morning with her for their cruise. Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I went to the fabric store...we sat there and looked through pattern books, and I let them each choose a dress pattern, with no zippers, please, ha. Then we looked at the fabric, which has gotten so pricey! We found some we liked, that was on clearance too. We looked around the store a bit...we came across some lovely overpriced lanterns, and I asked the girls, "If these are 49.99 and are on sale for 40% off, what do we do?" Camille said, "But one!" (I meant, "How do we go about figuring out how much they are...ha. (round to fifty, five times 6, since we would pay 60%, and get thirty...)(but of course we would never pay that much))
We went to the craft store too, I let them choose some wood things to paint. We got new fake flowers, and a few candles...they love the battery candles in their room.
We went to Aldi for half and half and chocolate and green peppers and cashews and almond milk.
Then...home. We were really hungry but are trying not to eat out so much...so home we went...
Duke wakes me up too early, so I really should sign off and get to sleep. It has been a really good day.