I am happy today!!!

No, I am not pregnant. If that were the case, the title would have a bit stronger than just "happy". No, today I am happy because I am going to breakfast with two of my friends. They asked me yesterday if I wanted to go, and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Then I checked with Abigail, and she said she would watch the two little girls, and I asked Joseph and he said he would help and be back-up just in case Abigail had a headache.

Then, I almost thought I wouldn't be able to go....I don't know if it was the party and the noise or the chaos of booking our vacation (the site booked the wrong one, and we had to call and cancel and pay a cancellation fee, then book the right one...and a few other things we were mixed up about....and the internet kept turning off, and when it was going, it was going sloooow.) Anyway, I went to bed with a headache. I thought it would go away, but when Paul woke up at 3:45 to take his dad to the airport, I was in agony with one of those real pounders. I got up and took three ibuprofen, and bided my time until they kicked in....so I thought I would not be able to go....but I feel okay. I feel better about going to breakfast with my friends than staying home and cleaning....! Although I do feel sad leaving the little girls. Even though they are fine here with the older ones....

So, I have the after-headache yucky-feeling, but other than that, I am happy.

I am glad that I am not at the mercy of my feelings though! Yesterday, something happened that made me feel awful. Poor, poor me. And the thoughts that come with that feeling? Oh, nobody likes me everybody hates me.....in those times, I have to just hold out, and recognize that the thoughts are wrong. Yesterday, I prayed to God, "Please don't let me become bitter here, Dear Lord".....Feelings are not truth.

I am supposed to be out the door in fifteen minutes. I SHOULD be cleaning up quick before I go.

Today it is supposed to be warm and sunny here in the northeast....almost 70 degrees! Oh, it feels so so nice! And the kids are in jail today, I mean school. I promised to pick them up early, at two o'clock. If they took the bus, the second trip kids would get home after four, and then it gets dark within a few hours, and it is just a waste of a beautiful day. So I wrote on their notes that they had an appointment. They do. An appointment with me to sit outside and go in the hottub if Joseph gets it filled today.

Well, I should start thinking about getting up and brushing my long tangly hair. Miss Charlotte Claire is benefitting from her Mommy's laziness this morning. I told her she could have a little bit of birthday cake. She cut it herself, and is sitting there at the kitchen table in her own little world, pretending no doubt that she is big. I promised the kids I would make sure there was some when they get home, that means I need to keep my hands off it. Chocolate cake with homemade buttercream frosting....way way too good. I have to think about Jamaica, and how I have to lose like 50 pounds in just a few short weeks. Like I haven't known for months now that we were probably going. Oh well.

Abigail is up, and I really need to move it move it.

birthday party....

Happy birthday party Camille! Yes, we use Christmas paper all year round.. The kids wrapped the presents, so they decided to put some pretty side out. We usually use it backwards and decorate them with markers. Joseph had the unenviable job of taking the rest of the chicken off the three chickens....and Rosie wanted to help.

getting ready for cake....

Sonja had a blanket, but it wasn't cold in here...it was quite warm.

She blew out the candles, and was so thrilled with herself....she really liked her birthday song.

I took the shortcut of two boxes of cakemix. I made a half sheet, then a tart pan....and then I mixed up some buttercream frosting...and here is the hard part: I let Margaret and Kathryn do the rest....they made butterflies on it because Camille loves butterflies. It was so for me to let them do it because :

1. I love decorating cakes.

2. I am very serious about decorating cakes.

3. Watching them do it was torture...

but I survived, and they had fun. And it turned out fine.

We finally made our reservations for our vacation!!! Jamaica it is! I am so excited. But that excitement is so mixed with guilt it isn't funny. Jon is STILL hopeful we might take him. Aaron and Mali want to go, too. Oh well...

a very good day indeed!

Mali found this train..she wants it for Christmas....

K-Mart after the Chinese Buffet is just the thing. We gave Sam to our friends, and took Phoebe...Jon is showing her a neat toy.

Our friends met us at the restaurant...they have eight kids and brought them all. I brought ten of ours. We used our 50% off coupons, for my kids and I it was less than $30, with a tip!



Margaret and Charlotte Claire

Sam with Mali

This was taken at home...I just thought it was cute....

Two pretty girls.







Camille and Margaret

After K-Mart, the dollar store. If you haven't taken 10 kids into the dollar store with the promise that they can each get something, you have missed out on one huge headache! They change their mind, they ask if maybe they can please get two things, they ask if they can get something additional just in case this thing breaks...I don't know why I torture myself...wait, I do - it is great fun!

After that, any wise and practical person would head home...but, we needed dishwasher soap, cat food, toothpaste and milk. $90 later, and we had that and much much more.....

Now we are home, Camille the sweet birthday girl is in bed, and Mali has a fever of 100. We didn't celebrate the birthday yet, we are doing it tomorrow when everyone is home. The girls are going to make a cake tonight, but they are playing cards.

aaah, saturday stretched before me

Mali Rose....she is 15 and I worry about her. I hugged her yesterday and told her to make good choices....please be good. She is so pretty and so quick to think everyone hates her. And all that other teenager stuff...pray for this girl, and for me too, that I can have the wisdom to know when to put my foot down and when to let things go.... Benjamin Paul with his only girlfriend, Rosie....Ben is going to be 21 next week...and he has broken up with his girlfriend of 4 or so years, this time for good, I think. I try not to say much, but.....they fought too much to be happy together.

Benjamin might be joining the Navy soon...wah, but it might be good for him. He wants to be a nurse. Which means being with the army in the war zones. Eeks, I won't even think about it.

Okay Mirielle, you can cry about this haircut dad gave Jonathan. Were his ears always this big?

Camille Anaya last night....her last day of being one year old....Mali came in and said, "Mom! You're taking pictures of her when she's crying!!" hee hee, I thought it was adorable....


She was crying for a very good reason. Charlotte Claire tried to give her a cup of ice water, and she wanted to get it herself. She can be very hard to please....they had just had a bath, and I let them run around the circle of the living room/kitchen for a while naked, then let them choose some jammies....

Charlotte Claire made a nice tower....right after this picture, Camille decided to join in the duplo play, and got hit with this very tower. Charlotte Claire had a timeout. And Camille, who doesn't quite get it, apologized to Charlotte Claire. Good thing they're so cute.

Today is CAMILLE ANAYA's happy birthday!!! She is still sleeping, which is nice, and mean of me to say...I do love her love her love her, but she is high maintenance. She is waking up right now.....the kids fight like crazy about who will get her from her little green bed....

I have a plan for today.....there was a coupon in the paper for 50% off at a new Chinese buffet that opened up in the area where my parents used to live. Last night I talked to one of our friends who has 8 kids, and she might go with me. I am going to call the restaurant first and make sure the coupon is good for 50% off the total bill, not just one person. (I have two coupons)....the kids are excited about the possiblity, so if it falls through, I will just have to think of plan B......

One thing I have learned these past few weeks....it is GREAT to have a Little Tikes picnic table in the living room. It is cozier and warmer in here, and they can eat their cereal at it and watch cartoons. Hey, you only live once...and childhood goes by sooo fast.

one thousand first post....

Jonathan Robert picked these pears up in the front yard from the ground, and put them in the bowl. He says they are still good. Actually, peeled, they aren't bad. I just think it is funny....one of the kids asked about it, and I said, "Oh, we aren't eating those, it is just for looks.." I decided to stay home where I belong today....so I made cookies.

The little girls wanted to help, so I let them put extra chocolate chips on the tops...

Camille took off her pajamas and put this jumper on. She thought the cookies were pretty good.



I found this in the living room...but I didn't have to clean it up, that's what Rosie is for. I know dogs aren't supposed to eat chocolate, but I hope a little bit is okay.

Rosie the dog. (and our nice organized shoe shelf)

Yes, I have discovered how to fool the children into think they are helping: sprinkles! Just let them put sprinkles on, and they have helped. Extra chocolate chips, too. Those two little girls have been pretty good today. They colored, mostly on paper, although their hands are a bit blue. They played dollies and house and ate Halloween candy. I played house too, I straightened up the movies and dvds, did two loads of laundry, cleaned under my chair, swept and cleaned the living room cleaned the kitchen and did the dishwasher, washed pans, and made cookies.

I was thinking today about my previous post, the thousandth. Specifically about the marriage paragraph. And I repent for being a know-it-all about it. I have been truly blessed, that's all there is to it. I realize there are different situations out there, and people have issues and everything isn't alway hunky-dory (does anyone say THAT anymore? My kids are always teasing me for the expressions I use, ones I got from my parents...how about the heebie-jeebies?...never mind, I do get side-tracked). Anyway it isn't really my way or the highway. I just think that if young people were taught to respect marriage and learn from their childhood that marriage is a forever thing, and to be careful about entering in to it lightly.....things would be better in this world. If kids were taught to take heed to themselves, not to blame other people for everything.....

Anyway....I have had a good day. My second trip kids are coming home soon, and the pizza dough is rising in the oven. My break seemed too short today. I just had the thought that if I had a nursing baby, I wouldn't get any breaks at all...but I would take that in a minute....oh, a warm fuzzy newborn to snuggle and nurse....at least I don't have any regrets, when I had my babies I held them and snuggled them all day and night....

one thousandth post!!!!

Wow, my thousandth post....wow. I cannot believe I have this much spare time. Somehow we find the time to do what we like, I guess.

So Happy Friday! Today is also Camille Anaya's last day of being one year old. Paul thought she was turning three. No dear, Charlotte Claire is three. He asked Camille last night how old she is, he said, "Are you three", and she said, "No, Carlotte is three". He asked,"So how old are you, are you two?", and she said, "No, I am one!" He then asked her if she was going to college, and she said, while shaking her head yes, "Uh huh, I am going to college."

So, I cleaned off the couch! Again! Maybe I subconsiously let it pile up because it is so nice when it gets cleaned again. Nah. Now the trick is to not let even one thing get put there, because then we're goners.....

We did do some chore lists yesterday. We sat and had cocoa after school, and I wrote down their Christmas requests. It is so funny what they want. Suzanne wants a chalk board or a camera. Sonja wants a Fancy Nancy doll or a pink poodle Webkins. Jon wants a remote control car, a black Corvette. I told him he can't get too specific. Most of the other kids just shook their heads and said they don't know. They are good kids. I told them that I would probably get 5 or six things for the littler ones, but then maybe four things for Sonja on up, and they were perfectly fine with that.

Paul and I never did get around to making those reservations. I told him that is a sure sign we need a vacation, that we cannot even find the time to make the reservations. We have narrowed down our choices, thank you Grace for the nice reviews! Jon still doesn't think it's fair.

I told Paul that we should probably go tanning a few times before we go, just so we don't burn so easily when we are there. The look on his face was pretty funny. He is just not a vain guy. The thought of him going tanning just makes me crack up. The other day one of the kids came across a prom picture of us (I am going to get Aaron to help me scan it), and Paul was so cute! He still is, but he had such a chubbiness to his face, he was so young. (although a good bit older than me, he was in college and I was in eleventh grade) Anyway, I am looking forward not only to the time with no cooking or cleaning or playing referee, but just having time with him. I am well aware how good we have it, that we still have such a good time together after all these years, that we have been able to keep things alive through so many pregnancies and births and all the other day-to-day dramas though the years. It's hard to explain, but it seems that we like each other more and more as time passes.

I am no expert at marriage, because I am also well aware that ours is so good because Paul is such a good guy. He is so respectful and responsible and yet funny and comfortable and flexible and humble.... Anyway, I have learned a few things along the way...

1. To begin with, NEVER ever ever be against each other. Wife and husband=together. When thoughts are entering the mind that are against the other, they are WRONG. We can agree to disagree, but that is a whole different matter. Paul and I are very different, and we have different ways of doing things.

2. Be respectful. If my feelings are hurt, that doesn't mean I should try to hurt him back. 99% chance he has no idea I feel bad in the first place.

3. Talk about stuff. Paul isn't generally a talker. But when I tell him the things that have been bothering me, it usually makes it seem like not a big deal just talking about it...mostly because when I am convinced he just doesn't even like me anymore, it is just ME. My thoughts.

4. Being "right" is over rated. Arguing is stupid.

5. Have the mind to bless and serve. When I start thinking things are NO FAIR, or tallying up how many times I have gotten up with the kids and he hasn't, then things are going in the wrong direction.

6. Forgive. Forget. Guys are - well, no offense, but they are GUYS! They don't always say the right things, and can be insensitive sometimes. Just don't chalk it up in the heart....

7. And that is all I can think of. Usually when two people get married, they actually like each other, and they are attracted to each other, and they love each other. It takes some work to preserve that, to shut out all other temptations, and work on keeping good and pure thoughts towards each other. There is so much heartache in the world because of separation and divorce and unfaithfulness....

Benjamin has a friend who has five brothers and sisters, and he is the only one who has the mother and father that he does. The others are either his mom's kids, or his dad's kids....does that make sense? Anyway, this kid has had some trouble in his life, and when I see him, I just want to adopt him. His mother is not with his father anymore. His father has a girlfriend. It just makes me mad. Not at the parents, or at him, but just at the wreckage that comes from just living so unthinkingly.

Anyway...today. Will I stay home? Hmm. I am thinking not. I have had one grocery store trip, but I could use some fresh fruits and veggies again. But if I stay home, I could get some things done. The kids have activity club tonight, and I have pizza dough in the 'fridge, and am planning to make homemade pizza pockets with them after school to have for dinner.

The plumber hasn't called yet, he has a busy schedule I guess. I am wondering if we should call a different guy. The water game gets old. But we are adaptable people, and now it seems perfectly reasonable to see someone come upstairs wrapped in a towel, asking huffily who just flushed the toilet and ruined their shower.....and oh, the thankfulness that will abound when we can just run the water mindlessly again....

Samuel James...he is my 14 year old. He is a very special child. He is not stupid, (that is a mean word, isn't it?), but he is unsure of himself. He is totally obsessed with World War Two. He knows facts upon facts and he refers to different generals and battles that I don't even know about. He likes guns. He plays airsoft, and shoots the b-b gun, and used to like paintball before airsoft took over. He is gentle, but he does have a temper, which he is aware of, and when he snaps at one of his sisters, he apologizes. He has these little quirks like patting people on the head, which they do not like, but he cannot seem to stop doing. He always asks, "What?" automatically when he is told to do something. He can't not ask it. If he is not told the thing twice, he will get all flustered and say he did not hear the first time, and it will become a big deal. He does have quite the sense of humor, but he tends to dwell on the same things. He will pick up a phrase, and use it into the ground. We love him and like him and appreciate him. But....the kids on the bus tease him. To me, Sam is too good for this world. He has such a soft heart, most of his grumpy exterior is just a defense, I think. He pats his little sisters affectionately, and they yell, "Don't, Sam!"....and I ask them discreetly why can't they just let him do that, he loves them. (I need my striped shirt and whistle...but my official title should be Peacekeeper) Anyway.....in the 6th grade, the kids do a cell project for science. They make a model of a cell, and label the parts. Usually they are made of playdough or clay, although before the teachers banned food, some made them of jello or bagels. Sam made his on a piece of cardboard with little toothpick banners labeling the parts. I can't remember what was going on here when he did that project...but: Kathryn is now in 6th grade, and her teacher, who was also Sam's teacher, had some sample projects to give the kids ideas. He also had a sample of what he did NOT want turned in, he referred to it as a project obviously done the night before, and he held up Samuel's project. Kathryn was not happy, as it had his name right on it. Someone in her class is on their bus and has been teasing Sam relentlessly about it, which of course spreads like wildfire to the other kids. His teacher has no idea how much thought Sam probably put into that project....but in any case, his name should not be on it. Paul and I are going to send him a letter, it is on our to-do list this weekend, to write one up. That teacher needs a wake-up call. Poor Sam....is it any wonder I want to keep them all home with me?

This world would be a perfect place if everyone loved everyone like they were their own child. Well, then again, there are parents...never mind. It was a good thought, anyway....

anybody want a sheepdog?

Last night I made the statement that I am putting her on craigslist. Because I am sick and tired of everyone saying things like, "Mom, your dog is into the garbage." "Your dog is SUCH a good listener" (ha) "Your dog needs a bath!" So they said they would stop saying those things. I DID give her a bath yesterday. It was ten after six, and dinner was all ready, Paul wasn't home from work yet, and Rosie needed a bath. She LOVES baths. I just mention the word, and she is in the tub. So I got her wet and soaped her all up with L'oreal for Kids, shampoo with conditioner. (it works better than doggy shampoo)....I use the orange cream stuff on her face and beard, she likes it, and if it gets into her eyes it won't hurt her. Sometimes I use Pert on her back and legs....anyway, the water turned off when she was all soaped up. No one in the house had any water running, so I just had to wait til it came back on again....and wait and wait...she just stood there like a good girl. The water finally came back on and I rinsed her and dried her off a bit and set her free, first yelling for someone to open the door. She runs through the kitchen, shaking and whipping water everywhere. When I was done with her bath, it was 6:35. Water, water, come back!

Anyway, she is clean and brushed, but she is such a DOG! She goes out and gets her legs and her beard all dirty, as soon as she has had a bath. She does smell better, but she just doesn't stay clean. She needs a good thourough brushing, too. What was I thinking, getting an Old English Sheepdog? Maintenance, and more maintenance. But the worse thing about her: she is a car chaser. She is a barker at the propane man, the mailman, the UPS man, the garbage guys. I had to go out there this morning and practically pick her up and carry her back into the house because I didn't wash her collar and put it back her after her bath last nigh, so I had no way to lead her back in when the garbage truck came. Or should I be realistic and say "drag"....

I need to teach her not to chase cars, in my spare time. I could go out there every single time and grab her and say no...which I should...or I could tie her up, which I do occasionally. But I hate to see a dog tied up.....but I would hate even more to see a dog hit by a car.

Right now, she is in the dog cage with Charlotte Claire. She is a good companion for the kids, except for when she gets too excited and knocks them over. Excitement is her middle name. When she sees me in the morning, she is whining, jumping in the air on her hind legs, and wagging her tail so hard her whole rear end goes back and forth. She doesn't jump ON me, just next to me. I have her sit down before I pet her.....but she acts like this all the time. So high strung and happy and affectionate. She is a good listener in the house, mostly, but when she is barking at the bus or the garbage guys, forget it. She cannot hear me call her. So it is a love/hate relationship. I am always trying to move the hair out of her eyes. It bothers me, but it only bothers her that I try to move it.

So.....if my life weren't full enough with all these kids, I have a dog. But I DO love her. I really really do. Even when she is all dirty. She is the kind of people-person dog that follows me around the house. She is lying on the floor next to my chair right now. If I go into the kitchen and start sweeping, she will be there. She is just always there.

Enough about the dog. Charlotte Claire are and Suzanne, who seems better today but was still sick last night, are coloring Christmas pictures. I told them all that when they get home today I will sit at the table with them and help them think of one thing they really want for Christmas. and help Jon with his letters and numbers. Then, I suggested, either a sock-matching party or a chore list....they chose socks! See, it is all in the way it is presented!

When I was growing up, I remember my mother telling me about the dreams she would have about finding another room in our house. Or moving into a nice huge house. Now I have those dreams. Sometimes I dream I find a huge hall full of nice spotless spacious rooms, and I am like, "Oh my goodness, I forgot about these rooms!" Or that there is another room that I never knew about, and it is big and clean....or that I move to this huge house with a huge open living room/kitchen, with tons and tons of bedrooms. The other night, I found a huge mud-room in my dream, with shelves and hooks and drawers and closets....oh my goodness, when I realize these are only dreams I am always so disapointed.

Clearing out what we don't really need does help, but realistically...we need alot right now. We have winter boots and coats and hats and mittens....most of that stuff is washed and out again. Some of the sandals can be packed away, but the sneakers and shoes are still there, and the sweaters and sweatshirts and jackets....and the backpacks and the books and the musical instruments by the door, ugh. I still have a few hampers full of the bedding I washed the other day, I have to get to that. My "get to" list is so long, I don't even have one. Does that make sense? I will just get moving and do what I can, and take a break, and then more messes will be made, and I will never be fully caught up. But oh well, this is my life. And I am learning a few things along the way:

1. The only time anyone drops in to visit is when it is messy. (Brilliant deduction, Einstein, that is because it is alway messy!!!) No, seriously, no one ever drops in when I get it all cleaned up.

2. If you wash the children's bedding "just because", you are inviting them to puke in it soon after.

3. Socks have a very high divorce rate, kids don't care if they have affairs with other socks, but mom likes when they get back together with their original partner.

4. Drinks should never be brought into the living room, there is extra gravity in there.

5. If you love your child's outfit, certainly have them take it off before dinner.

6. Keep track of the hairbrush. It takes longer to look for it that it does to put it back on top of the dog cage were it belongs.

7. If possible, keep a nice comforter or bedspread or couch cover on the couch. It is easier to wash this than to see your furniture get old and grungy right before your eyes.

8. Do not ask your kids when they get home from their friends' houses how clean the houses were. It just hurts, doesn't help.

9. When you KNOW the plumber is coming, don't just sit on the computer, then try to tidy up everything when he pulls into the driveway.

Oh, we haven't booked our vacation yet. It is hard to concentrate when Hideki Matsui is hitting homers. We aren't huge Yankees fans, but the World Series is interesting to watch. We always mute the tv during commercials, and we found that watching this baseball together for the last few weeks has been fun. We have found a place we think is perfect for us, so we want to book it tonight, hopefully it still will be available. It is in the Dominican Republic, it is in the Royal Suites, with butler service, marble floors, jacuzzi tub, soft and cozy beds on the beach, very quiet and low-key, not much night-life, caters to the 40-50 year old crowd....good food, room service, beach butlers offering drinks and mini-pizzas....pinch me, okay? At the dinner table last night, I mentioned I wanted to figure out how much it would be to take all the kids just for the heck of it, and they started jumping up and down and I felt horrible. Jon says it is mean for us to go on a trip without him. Ouch. We should just keep buying those lottery tickets. Or rather START buying those lottery tickets....