how many tents do we need to go camping?

Five, we think. Bedding, sleeping bags, towels. Food: I shopped yesterday, today I will grill 10-12 pounds of chicken breast, cut it up, baggy it, and freeze it. It can be warmed up either over a fire in a grill basket, or in case of rain, on the small propane camp stove. I will cook up a six pound package of burger, add taco seasoning, and freeze it in some baggies. And we will have hot dogs the last night. They last a long time in the cooler...(yuck though, right?)(but they taste ever so good when one is camping). We will have eggs and bacon, and oatmeal in the mornings. I also bought some Poptarts for the kids. Lunches: peanutbutter and fluff or jelly, and some sliced turkey and ham. Snacks...chips, cookies, blah...not for me!

I have a system for packing. It's called When I Think Of Something, I Put It On The Table. I also have a list. We take the two back seats out of the huge van, and pack everything in there. Then use the third row seat for bedding, and the front seats and first row for seating, along with the minivan. The little girls have a couch full of toys they want to bring.

I had to go buy one more tent yesterday. Paul had the unenviable task of assembling several tents in the front yard to see which ones were usable.

Kathryn is sick. Fever, sore throat, headache. I took her to dr. yesterday, he did a throat culture so I don't know yet if she has Strep. She wanted apple juice and ice cream, so I stopped at the store. Um, $76 later, I was hurrying back out to the truck, where she waited ever so patiently. Sorry, Kap, I just was getting what you wanted and saw this and that, I did hurry. I sounded lame even to myself. But I got some food we need for camping. I hope she is better enough by tomorrow to come...a few of the older kids will be here since college is starting, but I want her to come camping.

After settling Kap in with some ice cream and marinating the chicken I bought, I was out the door again with Evelyn and Suzanne, to buy a tent. And more food. We went to the sporting goods store first, in the big suburb. I reluctantly spent my birthday gift certificate, the one I was going to use on some nice sneakers, on a shade thingy. Our last one broke and refused to fold down when we left during the terrible rain storm.

At Target, I got the tent and some undies for the little girls. They are trying on all eleven pair as I write this. I wonder if it occurs to them that they are all the same size. I really should throw away some of the ratty old ones. I also got them some clearanced shirts for school, which they are thrilled about.

I got up early this morning and walked in the sprinkles. As I walked, I wrote the book I am going to write someday, in my head. My walk was over too soon. When the kids go back to school, I think I will write chapter after chapter on my walks, and walk lots farther.

Anyway, going shopping with Evelyn and Suze is more fun that it should be. Suze got tired so Evie pushed her in the cart with the cat food and marshmallows. Suze is taller than me, so she looked pretty hilarious all folded up in that cart. We stopped at McDonalds for coffee for me, and a frappe for Ev, a milkshake for Suze. And fries for Suze. I ate one. Why on earth are those fries so yummy?

Home at last. Put away the groceries. phew. What a day. I did manage a nice swim in the afternoon before Kap's dr. appointment, our pool is amazing this year, so clear and clean. I love it the most, followed by Camille, then Char.

If this post seems scrambled and disjointed, it is because, A. I took Suri out to pee. B. I am helping the girls try on their new stuff. And C., I keep thinking of all I have to do and know I need to Move It.

So...I don't know if I will write again before we leave. Cross those fingers we have good weather!

we're going camping!!!

Rain, rain, go away...we're taking our chances! And bringing rain boots. And tarps. And some umbrellas. Yay, I am glad we are going.

Today can't make up it's mind, weather-wise. Rain, then sun, then rain. Bedding hanging out to dry, got rained on, in the dryer now.

I spent a few hours in the pool again today, poor me! It sprinkled a bit, but I was already wet so I didn't mind.

I have been battling some interesting things the last few days. Ironically, Benjamin has been my inspiration to take things right. I feel at the end of my rope, more impatient than ever, and really weak...unable to bear anything. Just the little trials of life...sometimes they feel heavy. Then thoughts come. I feel a bit sorry for poor me. I cannot do anything right. But like I said, lately Ben has been my inspiration. If he can hold out and not lose hope in his difficult and heartbreaking trial, I can be a big girl and not give in to my whiny feelings which want me to go cry somewhere. Not that it's wrong to go cry somewhere, shh, I cried in the pool today, all by myself, then splashed water on my face. Nothing specific is wrong, just sometimes...wah. Life is too much. I don't really believe that though, I KNOW that God plans all things for my best. I just have to fight my way through thoughts sometimes.

It is pouring out and it is SO cozy in our living room. Abigail brought over peanutbutter cookie dough and baked up some cookies. I tasted one bite of Camille's. Dang, she makes good cookies. She rolls them in sugar before she bakes them. I can't get out of here, away from them. But I am not having one. Absolutely not. I had some dessert at a church lunch today, angel food cake with whipped cream and strawberries. So I have already cheated today.

Well, Suri just squatted and peed on the floor, so off I go...

weight loss picture

Yes, I used to wear this skirt. When it started getting baggy on me, I didn't know what to do, I wore it so much....

I haven't lost much lately. But. I am not gaining! I keep deciding to keep going. It isn't just a one time thing, Yes I Am Going To Lose Weight. No, I have to give myself pep talks. Because part of me is sick and tired of being careful, of saying NO THANK YOU. (and RRR when I say that and hear, Oh, just a little, or It's Just A Small Piece...)Anyway...I have decided to stay the course, to try harder, to get this thing moving again. I bought this tankini bathing suit top, and when I was searching through my dresser for some bottoms to wear with it, I found this skirt, tried it on...and decided to re-encourage myself...seriously, if I can do this ANYONE can. Because I am the Queen of Loving Food.

I had a large ice cream cone today. But my breakfast was only a few small handfuls of almonds and raisins with some coffee. Lunch was watermelon, a whole tomato, a whole green pepper (loving the garden!), with some bacon bits and a little bit of chicken breast. Dinner: a hot dog with no bun, some chicken breast, lots of green beans. Not a terribly bad day...then Sonja came home from her day with Grace carrying a bag of Snyder's Buffalo Chicken Wing pretzels. Oh, dang. I am having tea and a piece of apple pie flavored gum instead.

Today I spent almost two hours in the pool after taking a nice long walk. Yes, I know, I have a good life. Even better - five or six kids swam with me.

Paul brought home a watermelon grown by some local Mennonite farmers. I will never enjoy another grocery store melon again. It was totally awesome.

We are watching the Olympics, relaxing, planning our camping trip....

just a rainy day...

I was nice this morning. I got out of my cozy bed, got dressed, took Suri outside, then drove Samuel to work. It is only five miles away, but I couldn't let him ride his bike in the rain. Suri went with me. I washed a few dishes, ate some breakfast...Quaker whole oats, microwaved with some water...freshly toasted sliced almonds, and half a nice juicy peach sliced over the top. With some brown sugar. Coffee. Yum. The rain is pitter-pattering on the air conditioning unit, and it is dark and cozy in here. Suri is sleeping in the laundry room doorway, and all the kids are still in their beds. I have a stack of library books, and the couch is calling me. I didn't take my walk in the pouring rain, so I will have to make up for that later.

We haven't had many rainy days this summer, so I am rooting for this one to last all the live-long day. I hate when the sun peeks out when I still feel like hunkering down inside. Problem is, we are planning a camping trip for next week, and the weather, which has been hot and sunny all summer, is changing. Rain and cooler days. blah. Not good tenting weather. We shall have to get together and decide if we still want to go to the mountains. I will still swim in the lake even if it is chilly, but it is more pleasant if it is warm. Next week is the only week that will work for everyone schedules though....better chilly and rainy than not at all, right?

Yesterday was a Library Day. Kathryn 14, Evelyn 12, Suzanne 11, Sonja 10, Charlotte Claire 6, and Camille 4, went with me. Jonathan sort of wanted to go but Samuel said he would let him shoot his air-soft gun and watch a movie with him if he stayed home. Jon always wants to go but he really doesn't like the shopping after. Anyway, we got some books, then went to Kohl's to get sneakers for Kathryn. I tried on a few bathing suits and ended up getting a few tankini tops, super-cheap. I bought Jon a pair of shorts and a shirt for school, and a few things for the little girls, and a dress for Evelyn. Then we went to the grocery store. Bread and English muffins, Cheerios and bananas, laundry detergent and yogurt, milk and cheese. We got some gum that tastes like dessert, I chose apple pie flavor. Half price, of course. It is quite good. Sugar free, too. Then, I took them to McDonalds. Bad food, waste of money. Why do they like it so much? I had a few chicken nuggets and a fruit and yogurt parfait, and a coffee. The McDouble looked so good, but I do not eat those anymore. I know, I know, the nuggets are trash too. But yummy trash.

Home...put away the groceries, and jump in to the pool! Before we got in, Paul was mowing in the way back, and suddenly started yelling and jumping around. At first I thought he mowed his foot off or something, but then realized he was getting stung. He had hit a wasp's nest in the ground, and got several-everal bites. He ran to the pool and sat on the side, dipping his legs in...ouch ouch. I had gotten a few myself in the same spot last week while watering that garden back there. He went out later and sprayed the nest. phew, never a dull moment. I was glad it was wasps and not his foot cut off though.

We watched some Olympic diving, and some races, while reading stories to the little girls. They were all tucked in when the thunder and lightening started...I love a good storm, but they aren't quite as impressed. It was a good one though.

Anyway, not much to say, not much going on. But I will mention that I thought I had put on a few pounds being away at our church conference...no scale there, so I had to just guess...so I was glad to come home and find out I hadn't gained any, in fact this morning I am down to a nice new low! I will behave today, and make myself exercise instead of just reading those library books...

alive and well....

After a long day...at our church conference

.

Evelyn and Abigail, my second oldest and my eleventh child...(25 and 12)

Jonathan, 8, helped out so much by making sno cones.

My dear friend Linda, this one's for you. Thank you for the help at the candy store, and for the friendship. I thought we would get a chance to talk more, but it is busy and goes by too fast...

Miss Mirielle, my fourth oldest, working in the kitchen at the conference.

Emily Anne, my oldest, and Camille Anaya, my youngest.

Aaron in the kitchen.

My older brother Bob, at the conference. In the kitchen, of course.

My dear husband Paul...he was only there for one day because he had to work.

Margaret Cheryl, my ninth child, fifteen years old.

Samuel James, my eighth child...17 years old. He was on "watch duty", and had a large walkie-talkie hooked to his belt loop, so I told him I wanted a picture of him looking all Law Inforcer-y. He said, "Mom, you do know you can just buy these at the store, right?". Whatever. And the walkie didn't even show up in the picture, amazing photographer that I am.

Abigail talking with Emmi, a good friend of ours who lost her husband to a car accident last year. The thing about our church - the older ones and the youth have it so good together. No age barriers, just good friends.

Dave and Angela...parents of eight, still in love. Dave is a five year cancer survivor, he had cancer of the asophogus. He is such a good example, they are very good friends too.

So that is where I have been. Summer Conference at our church. Amazing to be there, but phew, exhausting. I heard some good things...one childrens' meeting was about thankfulness....to use thankfulness as a sword against our grumpiness. I need that!

My spirit was refreshed, my desire to be faithful was increased, I felt like I was re-converted.

Then it was the day to pack up and come home. It was hot, and I didn't have much help because older kids weren't there, a few middle sized ones went to an amusement park with friends from Canada, ect. So. There I was, packing up the camper. The tent needed to be taken down, bedding packed up, cupboards emptied, clothes taken off hangers... Bringing it all in the door at home. One child was not helping. At all. Grumpy. Going sloooow. rr. Then, she got upset at being asked to do something, swung around, and knocked a glass candle holder onto the tile floor, accidentally, shattered glass, yay. I was hot. I wanted to go in the pool. I grumped and grumbled and nagged at this child. My son Aaron said he heard me complaining and thought, "I guess Mom didn't hear anything good at the conference." Ouch. Yes, ouch. But. I did hear something, and just because I found myself forgetting during that trial, I did hear something. I do need to be more awake, I do need to take heed to myself first and foremost. Yes, it is easy to see that the child is being grumpy. But what about me?!! I am thankful. Thankful that I can indeed see how sinful I am. Thankful that I know God will help me in temptations.

Pray for my son Benjamin. He has been in the biggest trial of his life, over there in Afghanistan. His wife has decided that she does not want to be with him anymore. And if that weren't painful enough, she has found someone else. He is brokenhearted. He has been focused all this time on coming back to her, going on a trip somewhere, being with her. He knows God is near him, and has gotten great comfort in knowing that all things work together for the good for those who love Him. He has a good attitude, but he is suffering. If you could pray for him, that he keeps his faith...he obviously feels betrayed and hurt, and is really working on not becoming angry and bitter.

This has been heavy for me, of course. But I am truly thankful that Ben has not turned away from God, as people tend to do when bad things happen. I ache for him though. If I could take the pain in his place, I would. I told him that if I thought of any magical thing that would help, I would let him know. He did laugh at that, which I needed to hear, Ben's laugh. I am proud of him. One of the sergeants offered to try to get him shipped home sooner, but Benjamin said he cannot leave his men, if anything happened to them while he was gone he would not be able to live with himself, he said. Thinking of others, caring for others always helps us to think less of our own problems. It probably is healing for him.

Anyways, there is much suffering in this world, and sometimes I feel like I could just lie down on the floor and cry. We did have a crying party here in our living room the night the kids found out that Ben and Ashley were splitting up. We were really sitting around watching the Olympics and crying. Then Suzanne pointed out that Jon cries funny, and we were laughing our heads off for a few minutes.

I still love Ashley. I feel like I am losing one of my daughters. I do not want to lose her. Pray for her too.

i have no clue...

No clue whatsoever, what to write about today. I could mention that I went with Emily to look at a few houses yesterday. Or that I did indeed take my walk this morning. (for some reason, it still seems like a monumental accomplishment to get out the door of this house, alone, and be reasonably certain it isn't going to fall apart without me)(I do carry my phone with me. This morning I reminded Sonja K. that I have it, but please only call me if you need to. She is always the one who calls me when I am out and about to ask important things like, "where are you?", and "did you get me anything?")

I could write about how Suri has a split personality...sometimes she is a tail-wagging sweetie who rolls over to have her tummy rubbed, sometimes she is inhabited by a furniture chewing, paper ripping, toy destroying demon.

I could write about how the door slamming and laughing continued on for hours after I put my weary head on my pillow last night.

I will say that today Samuel James is seventeen years old. He is our eighth child, Emily-The-Oldest was ten when Sam was born. Abigail was 8, Benjamin was 6, Mirielle 5, Joseph 4, Aaron 2, and Mali was seventeen months. Yeah, five kids five and under. How did I ever manage? He was 8 days old when we went to the Summer Conference at church that year. Well, Sam has grown up into an amazing kid. He works this summer at the school, doing landscaping and weed-eating. The boy who struggled to get up in the morning to get on that school bus has miraculously been able to get up at "0-dark-thirty", as Emily says, to ride his bike five miles to work.

The weather here in central New York state is brilliant. Sunny and warm, breezy, mid-seventies, going up to the nineties today. I need to pack because we are leaving tomorrow for four-five days.(and tomorrow is another Grill shopping day) Food, clothes, bedding...Sam and Aaron still have to go to work next week, as does Paul, so they will only be there for the weekend. The two little girls are the most excited, they pack these backpacks full of Barbies and coloring books...and they have these huge fluffy robes they inherited from their sisters, they want to bring them in case we have a campfire and they get cold. Right.

My sister-in-law Kim has been in the hospital for the third time in the last month or so, with her daughter Carrie, who has recurring kidney infections and some other complications. She is only 17...but she had a bone marrow transplant when she was two...and her health has never been good. When a child is diagnosed with cancer, and goes into remission, and the years pass...the "C" word is never far from the parents' minds. Every little ache and pain that comes along can bring the questions...so pray for my brother Tom, and Kim, and Carrie and the other kids (there are twelve).

shopping!!!

Phew. Yesterday, Monday, today...shopping. For the grill at church. Tomorrow I plan to stay home, as it is Samuel's birthday. I am making a nice dinner for him, fresh mashies (potatoes), grilled steak, and corn on the cob. Mirielle is making cake balls for him (cake, smooshed up with a can of frosting, formed into balls, refrigerated, coated in chocolate).

There is more to buy on Friday, last minute things like fresh rolls, salad fixings, and fresh fruit. I also have to pack clothes and food and bedding because we are staying in our camper for four days.

Life is busy. I hate being gone from home so much. I owe Evelyn a million dollars because after being gone shopping so long today, making up some chicken for dinner, I went to a grill meeting, leaving her to give the younger kids dinner.

Home now. Not much to say, I am tired. The little girls are still up, I have to go tuck them in.

We are watching the Olympics...there are 13 of us in the livingroom right now.

Emily is here now...I cannot concentrate. Perhaps in the morning...