more to say...

I just went back out into the cold and untangled Rosie, took her for a walk around the yard, and brought her back in. The girls by some miracle are not up yet, and it is quiet here....so instead of getting a head start on all that I need to do, I sat back down in my comfy green chair.

I have pictures to post of Camille in her blanket sleeper with her ballerina tu-tu and headband on, but I don't feel like getting back up to get my camera, so those will come later.

here are some random things about the kids:

1. Emily, my 25 year old, is a registered nurse. She works nights, and also takes classes online. I don't see her enough, but when I do, it is pure sunshine.

2. Abigail, my 23 year old, lives with Emily. Emily pays the rent, and Emily likes cats, so she took Kitten Force to live with them. Abigail is now home all day with a lonely cat. I think it is hilarious. I also think Abigail is starting to like cats just a teeny tiny bit. (just for the record, Abigail is actively searching for a job, and is also doing lots of volunteer work for church, and she came here yesterday for a visit and cleaned out a cupboard.)

3. Benjamin, my 21 year old. He goes to the gym every day to play basketball. He helps get wood for the fire, and keeps the fire going. He cleans up around here once in a while. He is also looking for a job, and is waiting for his GED results so he can sign up for either Navy or Air Force. Wah.

4. Mirielle, my twenty year old, was going to give blood today but she does not feel well. Her throat hurts and she has a headache. She is a trooper because she gives blood as often as she can, even though it makes her faint. She commutes to college, does very well, runs the large choir at church, sings her heart out when she cleans the kitchen, and helps me out alot.

5. Joseph, my 18 year old, graduated from high school last year. He wants his license. He is probably going to start a job soon through my brother. He does what I ask of him without much trouble, but he has no problem staying in his room reading, playing games, and sleeping. He is planning to go back to Norway for a year.

6. Aaron, my 17 year old, is an excellent student. He is in eleventh grade, and he has "tons"of homework. He has a wicked sense of humor, and he loves the little ones here.

7. Mali, my soon-to-be-sixteen-year-old (her birthday is the ninth), is my interesting one right now. She is lovelier than she knows. She is a writer and spends alot of time on her stories. She sturggles with some things, but she seems to be doing better. She is thrilled because is going to Norway for a sisters' conference with Emily next weekend. She is going to school for a day with her Norwegian friend, and then the friend (along with her three cousins) is coming back her for a visit, and will go to school with her for a day.

8. Samuel is my fourteen year old, who is in some ways like a ten year old in a man's body. No offense to Sam....in fact Sam, if you are reading this, please know that you are a very distinctive and wonderful child. We all love you. Your sincerity is worth its weight in gold, and the way you appreciate new boxes of cereal is amazing. You are brilliant, and your knowledge of World War II probably surpasses most high school teachers.

9. Margaret, my 13 year old, has lovely curly hair. This morning, it was too curly, or too frizzy, or something, and Margaret did not like it. When one of her sisters commented that it is fine and pretty, she did not like that either. So Margaret is back in bed, getting some sleep and hopefully a better outlook on life. Margaret has always been years beyond her age. She has a beautiful voice and more musical knowledge than I can even imagine, since I don't even know my notes. They get it from daddy.

10. Kathryn, my almost-12-year-old, is a sweetie. She is helpful and sincere and pals around sometimes with Margaret, sometimes with Evelyn, sometimes with Suzanne, and sometimes she is the perfect big sister, taking care of the little ones and taking them outside....she is very capable, and a peaceful type of child, who recognizes the value of getting along well, above getting her own way.

11. Evelyn, my 10 year old, is beautiful and spunky and loud and smart and freckly and tomboyish and much older than ten years old. She is really at least 13. She keeps their room clean, vacuums it every day, always gets her homework done on her own, picks out her own clothes, and always looks spiffy. She does have a temper, and can stomp off like a pro, but she doesn't stay mad for long.

12. Suzanne, my 9 year old, is my story-writer, illustrator. She writes us all notes and letters, and likes to play "secretary". She gets very frustrated when the little ones touch her stuff, so Paul got her a locking tool box for her favorite things. She is very sharing and giving, and has a soft heart for the ones in school who have special needs.

13. Sonja, my 7 year old, is my readheaded freckled sunshiney, attention seeking, easily pouting, often stomping, but really sweet curly-headed little imp. She always wants to go with me, and loves to sit with me in my chair, and really appreciates her one-on-one time. She seems lost sometimes, the youngest of the five-girls-in-a-row, and too old to get all the attention the little ones get. She has these little fits when she doesn't get her way, and I have to look past those and just give her more attention. I love love love her.

14. Jonathan is 5 years old. He is battery-changing- obsessed, he has so many cars and trucks and trains and he loves them and plays with them....he counted pennies with Margaret yesterday, making stacks of ten, and he totally understands the concept of multiplication. He knows he has enough money to buy a new Webkin. (anyone want to come with me when he buys it with all those pennies?) Jonathan is learning, ever so slowly, that it is not anyone else's fault when he gets all mad about something. (which is something that most adults never learn, ha)

15. Charlotte Claire, my three year old, is so independent. She plays for hours with dollhouse stuff and dollies and always changes her clothes, and doesn't like to eat very much, and still loves bottles, even though we don't give them to her anymore. Yesterday she took her sippy cup into the bathroom with one of Camille's bottles, and tried to transfer the milk, and dropped the whole thing on the floor...oops. She is mostly happy and talkative and she is getting too big too fast....

16. Last but not least, is my two year old, Camille. She gets hugs and snuggles from all of us. Yesterday, she was on my lap and she put her hands on my face and turned my head towards her and said, "I love you, Mama!", and she started giving me lots of kisses, then dove in for a hug, and I thought, "This child has been treated like this, and this is what she knows. She is all of our little sweetie...."She is of course a two-year-old, too. She goes from being sweet to that angry NO, MOMMY in no time flat. She can be stubborn....but she is learning some things, too. Whenever she come out from her nap or in the morning now, she tells me, "I didn't get into any of your stuff, Mama!" And I praise her to the skies. They are also learning they are NOT allowed to go into the kids' room during the day AT ALL.

Well, the Cheerios spilled, and Charlotte Claire has the broom and is sweeping it up.....I better really go now.....



3.

another day....

It is sunny and cold. My laundry room shelf is fixed. It was a long painful process, and I will spare the boring details, but Paul put the nicely emptied shelf back up, and my girls helped me restock it. The good thing is we weeded through some things, and put things back in a bit more organized manner.

Tomorrow I am going to lunch with some friends, and I am very excited about it. My friend Joe, who is the same age as my parents would be, is retiring this week, so some of us are meeting for lunch to celebrate. Joe is the most kindhearted soul I have ever met. He is the one who visits sick people in the hospital, and prays for the young ones, and always has an encouraging word. He has worked for years and years with mentally challenged adults, and has seriously gained the "patience of a saint"....

So today I wanted to keep Jonathan home from school again. I was thinking he might be getting tired out, and he was starting to be argumentative and grumpy this morning, but he snapped out of it and apologized, and got ready for school all happily. He really likes school. He has learned how to read, which is lots of fun. He knows lots of "sight" words, and he knows how to sound out other words, so this week he has been reading me lots of books. He has an excellent memory, so when he catches on to a new word, he remembers it when he comes upon it again. He is so funny, this morning he told me that the girl who is the smartest one in his class does not even know that twenty plus twenty is forty.

I have a million things to write about here, but I have to make some phone calls. My coffee is gone, my Cheerios are gone, and Rosie is all tangled up...

off they go to school....

Evelyn so nicely agreed to take Rosie out and hook her leash to the chain so she can run around in the snow for a while. And as she was out there, in one of the pairs of size eleven boots, the bus came. 5 minutes early. Rosie wasn't hooked up yet, so she of course lunged towards that big scary bus, barking and tugging. Evelyn just stood out there yelling her head off that the bus was here. I quickly put on another pair of size eleven boots, grabbed all Evelyn's school stuff, including her shoes, and went out and rescued her. The bus had to wait while she changed out of the boots, but Evelyn didn't seem to ruffled. They all made it to school again today.

I plan to stay home today. I have to wash all the pizza pans from last night's homemade pizza, and do a huge cleanup job in the laundry room. Camille-the-crazy-clothes-changing-girl pulled a shelf down last night, trying to reach something nice to wear. The shelf held like a hundred pounds of clothes folded on top and hanging from it on hangers, and now is actually in the row of hampers parked beneath it. I have my work cut out for me.

I dreamed about my brother last night. My brother Billy. I dreamed he came in with Benjamin and his cousin, and sat down. We were shocked to see him, and asked him what he was doing here. He said, "I just wanted to tell you why I did it. I had cancer. I didn't want to be trouble." And I said, "No, you did not have cancer!!" He wanted to know how I could be so sure about that, and I said, "After you died, they....(in my dream, I couldn't find my way to say the word "autopsy".....)um, they checked you out and said you had carbon monoxide in your blood, but that is all they found wrong with you...." He just put his head in his hands and started weeping......and then I woke up. And believe me, I didn't just roll over and go back to sleep....

I also dreamed about my parents. I have this recurring dream that after my mother was buried, they find out that she wasn't really dead, and she comes back. Sometimes my father is there and sometimes not. And sometimes my father comes back to life, too. I go over there, and we all talk about how wierd it is that they were dead and are alive now. My mother always has her furry yellow robe on, or her fuzzy blue one.

I know death is part of life. I know everyone dies. But it seems like they have just vanished into thin air, their house gone their possessions dispersed, they are only memories now. Memories and photographs. I guess this is why I get such great comfort seeing Suzanne wear my mother's nightgown all the time. It is tangible evidence that she actually existed. I miss her so so much. I want to dial 458-2919 and have her pick up the phone and say, "I just picked up the phone to call YOU!" (caller ID ruined all her fun, she used to always guess who was calling when her phone rang). I want her to call me and say, "What're you in the middle of?" I want to pull up to her house and see her standing there at the door with her big blue purse. I want to go to Chinese with her and sit and drink tea and talk for hours. I want to go to Kmart with her and find good deals. I want to just go to her house on a nice spring day, and sit there in the yard while she sits on her lawn swing with all the little ones.....I even miss their dog. I miss my dad, so desperately lonely after my mother passed, calling me and complaining about everything under the sun. My mother did not complain, but my dad sure did.

I actually miss being young sometimes, along with that good warm feeling of being taken care of. We lived in the same house from the time I was a year and a half, they still lived there until they died. So I still have lots of dreams that take place in that house, in that neighborhood. I wonder what it is like for people who moved alot and had multiple childhood homes. What place do they dream of?

I do believe that it is vitally important to actually remember what it was like to be a kid. When I remember things like how I teased a certain kid, and how I took money I shouldn't have, and how I wanted the teacher to notice me so badly, I can see a bit more clearly where my own children are coming from. I can't automatically expect them to see things from my point of view, I have been around a long time now. When I recall what it was like to be in their shoes, I can be much more merciful.

My little girls are up and around and in their sweet little footsie jammies, and I need to feed and change and cuddle them......

Oh, one more thing: I read in the paper this morning that a distraught mother dropped her 9 month old baby off at a local fire department yesterday, saying she could not properly care for him. It is legal in New York State to drop babies off, 5 days old and younger. So far she has not been in any trouble for it, and her sister has stepped in and has the baby. It gave me an idea. But I would probably get in trouble for it. What if I put an ad in the paper that said,"If you have a baby that you feel you won't love quite enough, or take care of adequately, drop him/her off at my house. We will give him/her a cozy home, lots of love....."? The slogan could be, "Your Burden Is Our Blessing"...ha, I am just kidding. Although I still maintain it would be nice to find a baby on the doorstep.....

9 kids off the bus

This is blurry, but it is Aaron, Mali, Mirielle, (wow she's short), Joseph, and Samuel.....when Aaron, Mali, and Sam got home from school. Mirielle is popular because 1. She is nice. , 2. She makes good things for the kids to eat....

Joseph with Elmo on his head.

Kathryn peeking behind Margaret, not wanting her picture taken.
And Joseph...he won't like this, but how could I resist?

Charlotte Claire and I....resting after a long day of shopping.


Camille reading the brochure that came with their new doctor kit.

Abigail in Walmart with Camille, and Charlotte Claire in the cart....

Today I WAS going to stay home. But then Abigail came over, again, and asked me if I got her text last night. Well, no, I didn't. She was going to drive Mirielle to college in the small city, did I want to come along on some errands? Of course! I had one half hour to get us ready. Luckily I had just washed my long tangly hair. I got ready speedy-quick. As we pulled out of the driveway, I checked and yes, we had brought drinks for the girls, but no, we forgot their breakfast. oops.....so, I did what any horrible mother would do: I went through the TimHorten's drivethrough and bought two sausage muffins (with a coupon, of course), and a large coffee (of course), and 40 Timbits (of course). We had dropped Mirielle off at college, and then on to Walmart we went. There were lots of things on clearance, so I got lots of things. Jeans for Jon, two zippered sweatshirts for $3 each for next year, some $2 shirts for the girls, and the cutest jumpers for Charlotte Claire and Camille for $2 each, with shirts! And yes, they NEEDED them, ha. I let the little girls get a FisherPrice Doctor Kit to share, with their Christmas money, because they love playing doctor. They were pretty awful in the store today, mostly Camille. It is hilarious because one would think I would know how to teach small children to behave in the store by now. I seem to have gone backwards. Am I the same woman who scoffed at those rebellious two-year olds several years ago? I wouldn't have put up with it then, because I COULDN'T! When I had a child who was over two, I most likely also had a one year old and was ready to have another one. Anyway, Camille wanted to walk. Okay, fine and dandy, walk and hold my hand or hold on to the cart.....well, she ran away from Abigail twice, so I put her back in the cart. In the front, buckled....and she did not like that one little bit. She wanted to walk again, and I made her promise to be good this time. Well, she fooled me again. She wasn't too bad, but two year olds are interested in more things than even their dawdly mother is. At least at the register Abigail took them to sit on the bench in front, so they didn't touch all the candy I was not going to buy.

We then stopped at the bank, and to the gas station to put air in the tires. Abigail is the owner of a 1994 Buick, so she knows all about putting air in tires. So we pulled in to the air machine, figured out how it worked, how much air we should put in, and Mr. "I AM FUNNY", who drove a huge gas truck, pulled in behind us and had to put cones all down and check the gas levels in the tanks, and was for some reason extremely amused at Abigail and I. He helped us reach the air hose to the other side of the van, and all I can say is he must have a pretty boring life, either that or he is easily entertained. I think he parked like that on purpose, just so he could laugh his head off when I had to back up the 15 passenger van between his truck and the orange cones.....

So, home again home again jiggity jig....Paul, Joseph, Emily, Abigail, Mirielle, and Joseph went to the dome. (hey, the Syracuse Orange Men's College Basketball Team is ranked #1 in the NATION!!!) They are playing St. Johns tonight, and our church is doing on last basketball season fundraiser, pouring beer, ironically. Paul called me this afternoon and said they needed one more person, could I come along? I said I would rather not leave all the kids here with Aaron and Mali for the afternoon/evening. I promised them last night that I would be home today....and we are having a "no computer/no television afternoon, which I am violating bigtime...so on that note, I need to get moving...again.

fox or coyote?

As I was getting the kids ready this morning, I saw this guy in the backyard.

Fox? Coyote?

I wish I had time to chat, but I think I am going to pack up the kids and go out and about with abigail....

another day slipping away

I tucked them in tonight by myself because Paul is at a meeting. Except for Charlotte Claire, she was tired and told me she wanted to go to bed, and got ready all by herself, and Aaron tucked her in for me. I spent a little time in the kids' room (Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, and Jon), tucking them in and talking to them. Camille was in there with us too. Evelyn has this big pimple right next to her nose, and it has been driving me crazy. I cannot look at a pimple and not want to cover it up or pop it. Well, this one is huge, and was more than ready to pop....so, I tried to be gentle, and Evelyn screamed...she IS a drama queen, and Camille started crying....it was so funny, because Evelyn was trying to tell her she was okay, and was laughing her head off because Camille was so concerned, yet she still wanted me to try to pop it because it hurt her, and everytime I went near her, Camille would push me away and tell me NO. Then Evelyn warned me that she was about to - well, she told me she had to fart.....to put it bluntly, and I didn't get up and out of there quite fast enough, but she was rolling on the floor laughing and as I headed out the door, poor Jon was yelling because he still wanted to pray with me... but they are now all tucked in except Camille, who had a nice nap today. She has on her pretty pink tutu over her clothes. She is cuddling with me.

So there is never a dull moment around here. After I got them all in bed, I had to wash the table and wash the pans. I still have to get out school clothes for tomorrow. If I was ten years younger, I would probably clean up the living room a bit so it would be clean when I get up in the morning.

This evening when the kids were still up I was only on my computer for a few minutes, then I put it away, and had the kids get off the other computers too, for no reason other than BECAUSE I SAID SO. It was really nice, Suzanne read, "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish", and then Jon read some of it to me. We looked through folders and talked and the time flew by too fast to bedtime.

Mirielle is making cake balls. She baked the cake, when it was hot she crumbled it and mixed it with a can of vanilla frosting, and put it in the refridgerator. Tomorrow she will make small spheres and dip them in melted chocolate chips mixed with candy melts. Yum. I am glad Mirielle and I have all these people to bake for or we would be in big trouble.

Today I read an article about how people make a living off writing blogs. I write this blog because I love to write. I rarely wonder what to write about, although I do have a considerable number of times that I have things NOT to write about. (seriously, this blog would be a LOT more interesting if I didn't have to/want to protect the privacy of husband and teenagers, and grown children). So I write because I like writing. I enjoy this, so it is my little indulgence. I also hope that if anyone reads this it can be a help for them to know that if someone like ME can be saved, anyone can. And that if someone like ME can have lots of children and not go off the deep end, anyone can. (I never said anything about being organized!) And, I like the pureness of my blog. The uncluttered black and whiteness. The thought of filling it up with advertisements sickens me...but the thought of getting MONEY...ooh, that is always a temptation. What if I made lots and lots of money and Paul could retire? Now THERE is a thought. He could sit around and play his guitar all day, and I could sit on my considerable rear end in my considerably comfortable green chair, and tell him, "I am working!" ha. Sounds pretty good.

my handsome boys

I went out and about this afternoon with two of my five handsome sons. Aaron went because he dropped his new phone and it broke and he had to send it in to the company. He wanted me to mail it, I said, "You want to mail your phone, you come with Mommy"....hee. What a clever way to get my shopping-hating teenage son to come with me. Joseph here had different motives. He wanted to drive the big van. He wants his license and wants as much experience as possible. Since we were leaving all the little ones home, I thought he might drive....he did okay, I only got a few gray hairs. I had my foot pressed down and I held on to the dashboard....oh, is there anything more nerve wracking than being a passenger with a permit holding teenager?

We had fun at BJ's. The boys were happy because I got muffins, there was a $2 off coupon. Joseph actually drove home and ate a muffin at the same time. I also bought fruit snacks because Camille had the idea today that she wanted some, and she searched everywhere for them. I told her over and over that we didn't have any, but she thought if she just kept looking, she would find some. She said, "I have a idea! I will look in THIS cupboard!", as if they would appear because of her good idea. She was pretty happy when I brought them home.

Well, Samuel is going to pass out the peanut M&M's now, and I have lots of Friday folders to look at because of the snow days last week.....