saying goodbye is never fun....

Saying goodbye to Sam was one of the hardest things ever. He didn't try to hide the tears he was wiping away as he turned and walked toward his barracks with his plastic shopping bags of supplies from the px. (He hadn't been to a store since he first got there in February, and needed more razors and this tool for being out in the field, which cost like $50. I always thought the Army supplied the soldiers with gear, but lots of the stuff they have to buy with their own money.)

Anyway. It was hard to leave him. He has settled in and adjusted, and now has to go through the homesickness all over again. But these next five weeks of Infantry training will go by much faster than the first 11 weeks of being processed, and regular Basic training. Because hey, five weeks is only 35 days. That's what I told him. He hasn't had candy or coffee or pizza in all those weeks, and lost 25 pounds. He looks good. He didn't eat too much of the junk we brought him, and that he got at the px. He isn't used to it anymore.

He has grown up. He is so very responsible, and careful to abide by all of the rules. He stands up so straight and tall, the Army has accomplished in a matter of weeks what I couldn't manage to do in all of his 18 years, no matter how I nagged. But, now he stands straight and tall. He is super respectful, and thankful, and has this good attitude to take things right no matter what. He has known from childhood that Life Isn't Fair, but when it happens that it really isn't, it is not easy to take. He said being in the Army is mostly mental. I told him that LIFE is mostly mental. It's all in the attitude. He said some guys just complain about everything all the time, and their Army experience is awful. Not that I blame them, from what Sam told me, I would complain too:)....Sam went on this 11 mile "ruck", with a 60 pound pack, on a hot humid Georgia day, in full gear. He was near the front, and booking along nicely ,when a Sgt. asked him if he was going to, "fall out of line". He answered, "No, Drill Sergeant.", and was rewarded with running all the way back to the start of the line to count everyone, then back up to the front. For me, that would have been the time to call the M.P.s, I would simply walk away and go AWOL. Then there was the time he assembled The Perfect Breakfast. Now Chow time isn't like a restaurant, or even home. You Get What You Get And You Don't Throw A Fit, as Charlotte Claire would say. But this one morning, all the stars were aligned properly in the universe, and he got all the good stuff. He got the large box of Raisin Bran Crunch, and he actually got milk for it...apparently sometimes if there is a back-up in the line for milk, the Drill Sgt. will tell them to just move along, which means dry cereal or cereal with Powerade on it. Anyway, Perfect Breakfast morning....as soon as Sam sat with his tray, a Sgt. came in and asked for two volunteers for Fire Watch. No one volunteered, so immediately they were told they were selfish, and they were excused from breakfast. Perfect Breakfast, and he didn't get to eat one bite. Life Ain't Fair.

But when one signs up for the military, one knows these things will happen, and Sam really tries to take it all in stride. Remember, he is the boy who would sit there at the dinner table with all his silverware and plate and cup arranged Just So, and eat ever so slowly, he had his routines. I am amazed and surprised and really genuinely happy that he has adjusted so well to so much change. He is actually so stinkin' proud of himself, too, I can tell. It has been great for his self-confidence. He is the boy who would never even place his own order at McDonalds, remember.

He is a kind soul, Sam is. He wasn't afraid to tell me how much he missed all of us, and how hard those first weeks were. He called his sisters and talked to them, and to Benjamin. He can't wait until June, he graduates, and comes home for a week of leave!!!! Paul and I are traveling to Georgia again, and bringing him back with us. He got his Duty Assignment, he is officially going to be in the Old Guard, and stationed in Virginia. Perhaps he will guard the president:)

Jonathan and Charlotte Claire and Camille were real sports about visiting Sam. They have this enthusiasm about things, the girls picked up leaves from under the tree and started playing Tree Farm. We were at the base for three full days, with not exactly loads to do for little kids, but they made due. They brought four Barbies and some little bears, and spread it all out on the floor of the reception building where we sat and visited, and belted out, "Let It Go", oblivious to the smirking soldiers. Camille showed Sam how she does push-ups at one point....T They took a few naps....
Miss Char....

Miss Camille....

Charlotte turned 8 on Sunday, and spent her birthday there visiting Sam at the base. We bought her a package of Twizzlers. She already had a birthday party last week, so she was fine. :) And, we let her choose between McDonalds and Wendy's on the way home from Georgia.

Anyway. It was a nice little vacation. We are home now, and I am taking a break from unpacking and doing laundry. Evelyn made me coffee, Joseph served it to me....

Joe is a nice boy.

Paul is at the mall picking up his new glasses. He took Suzanne and Sonja with him, and is stopping at the store to get stuff for taco salad for dinner.

So back to normal now....did I mention how nice it was to see the rest of the kids?

my son sam the army man...

Samuel James....

Sam hadn't had anything from Starbucks in weeks. No coffee since February. So we brought him a cookie crumble frappuccino.

With Sam...

Paul with Sam....

Sam with Joseph, Charlotte and Camille...

We walked around the base today.

Sam hadn't been in a store in over 60 days, and he needed some supplies, like KitKat bars and coffee. He has had neither of those things since February either. So we walked to the px a few times. Sam has lost like 25 pounds, and just can't and doesn't eat as much anymore. But he sure enjoyed the coffee and the chocolate, and the subs and the Chinese food we brought him.

He is doing well, this big handsome son of mine. He was intensely homesick when he first got here, away from friends and family and all the things we take for granted, like sitting on a couch. He has grown up so much, he is so responsible and takes being a soldier very seriously. My heart aches that he has to stay on the base this weekend, just for moving his hand during his p.t. test. As soon as that hand moved, the drill sgt. terminated his test, and that was all the push-ups that were recorded. He failed by two push-ups. And he usually gets good marks on those tests. But that is life, it isn't always fair, and the Army is a perfect example of it. As Sam said, "Even the kid who sneaked cake into the barracks in his pockets got to leave the base!"

Anyway, life isn't always fair, so Sam has to stay at the base all weekend, with us visiting him there. He can't take off that hot uniform or even roll up the sleeves or take off his huge boots. But he is pretty happy to have us there, to have his phone for a few days...he talked to Ben and to his sisters today:) He is happy to have coffee, and to talk to Jonathan, and to sit on a couch.

I am tired. We spent the day there with Sam again, then came back to the hotel, and into the pool for a long splashy swim. Now we are settled down, and should go to sleep. We are checking out of the hotel tomorrow morning, visiting Sam for the day, saying goodbye to him, :(, then on towards home, 18 hours of driving....

up all night!

Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, and Camille think this trip is just the greatest. I am basking in their enthusiasm, as I am well aware that fast forward like five years and they will be all This Is So Lame.

They enjoy every single bit of it, from the mountains of Pennsylvania, some of which are aptly named the Endless Mountains. I mean, they ARE pretty, but you see one....you've seen them all. We went from New York state, which is a newbie to this spring green stuff, with only little tiny baby leaves on the trees, to full blown green-ness. Charlotte Claire was looking forward to our drive through the city of Charlotte, North Carolina, but alas, she was sleeping, and no way was I waking her up. They had their pillow pets and blankies and finally settled in so Paul could doze while I took a turn. I like driving during the night, getting comfy behind a big truck that is cruising along just a bit above the speed limit....

We checked in to our hotel near five a.m., tucked those excited little girls in....and at 8:30, they were awake. I managed to doze a little more, but they were up playing "quietly", so I got up and brought them down to breakfast.

We are going to the Army base tomorrow to see Samuel. He called while we were in the pool and left a message, I think he misses us as much as we miss him. I am so very thankful that we came down here, and am looking SO forward to seeing him...

For today, though, we have a few things on the agenda...Jon brought his x-box. But we went to go out and about, and perhaps go to the Piggly Wiggly. Call me a strange Northerner, but I rather like exploring regional grocery stores. Out in Washington state there is the Winco, and of course the Safeway, which are not in New York. Down here there is Publix, too. We also have learned that we can eat cheaper and healthier by going to a store rather than going out to eat. If we are allowed though, we will bring pizza or Chinese take-out to Sam.

And...I am distracted because Paul is watching Pawn Stars, where these guys run a pawn shop, right now a guy is pawning his own father's WWII jacket....we don't have cable at home:)

Anyway...I am having a grand old time.

bye bye with Kap

I didn't really WANT to go bye bye today, but since we are leaving for Georgia on Wednesday and have to pack tomorrow, I decided it would be wise.

Then I started gathering clothes to pack...and doing laundry....and cleaning up...the day started going by, so we got a late start. And, there was a band concert tonight for Evelyn, so I had nary a minute for dinner between shopping and picking up the van at the shop and going to the concert. Phew. Home again, kids tucked in, and ready for bed. I made it through the day without a nap.

Tomorrow...I have to clean out that messy minivan, and finish packing. I have packed the kids' clothes, still have to do mine. I bought snacks for the 18 hour drive, like beef jerky and almonds and chocolate covered cashews and veggie sticks and apples and peanutbutter crackers, and some flavored tootsie rolls for the kids, plus some diet iced teas.

Georgia, ah, warm weather! High eighties! I am looking forward to it, and to seeing Samuel. Life is good. Busy, but good.

and a happy monday...

It would be rather happier if I hadn't stayed up until almost two a.m. with my nocturnal daughter Mirielle, who had the night off from work. We watched, "Call The Midwife" at midnight. Today is brilliantly sunny, a beautiful spring day, and my eyelids feel like sandpaper. The house is quiet, the kids went off to school, the homeschoolers are still sleeping, and I want to go back to bed.

But, I have to bring the van to town to the shop, and there are remnants of the birthday party everywhere. Kids got out building blocks and dollhouse stuff, and there are Nerf bullets scattered everywhere. I wrapped up the leftover cupcakes last night, I find that things that are wrapped up are a little harder to eat mindlessly. I did not eat any cupcakes yesterday, but I did eat some salt and vinegar chips, and a few chocolates...rrr.

The party was supposed to last for three hours, but it went on and on and on, the boys running through the house shooting each other and shouting, the girls playing quietly in their room. I wanted to send the boys outside, but it was rather wet out there, and didn't want them to get all muddy then bring it all in the house. Anyway, it was a long day, the last boy left after 8:00....

I know, I know, I used to have chaos like that all day every day, but my boys were not that crazy. I simply didn't allow them to run and jump onto the couches and slam around. Just because there were a lot of them didn't mean they could wreck everything. Chaos and noise aside, it was a fun day. Jon had a blast with his friends, and Camille really enjoyed her day too. Lots of big cousins stopped in, and I enjoyed my chats with them. My brother stopped in for a coffee when he dropped his kids off, that was nice.

Having a wedding on Saturday and a birthday party on Sunday made for a scrambled Monday morning as the little girls did their homework while eating their FruitLoops. oops. Never even thought of it last night.

So the day after tomorrow, we leave for Georgia. It is like a 17+ hour ride, and we are driving straight through. Driving through the night seems better for the kids, the trip doesn't drag on and on like that. They are looking forward to stopping somewhere to get ready for bed, then snuggling in with blankets and pillows and sleeping in the van. You know who will be wide awake the whole way. Yup, I can't sleep on a trip, I like to see everything. I should really try to though, so I don't get a raging headache.

Our trip won't be like I had planned. Samuel won't be able to leave the base. He apparently didn't pass his last P.T. test because of hand placement during push-ups or something. He called me briefly Friday night to tell me that, and sounded upset. I struggled whether to write about it on here, thinking he would probably hate it. But I decided to because he did nothing wrong. He is a good young man, honest and hard-working, truthful, kind, thoughtful.. He has made lots of progress running and has made it through the long "ruck" with the heavy pack. He has passed from phase to phase of Basic, so it is not the end of the world that he failed one P.T. test. I am proud of him, and intend to tell him so. I won't even jokingly say, "See, I told you you shouldn't have joined the Army."

I am not sure if he will be allowed to have his favorite cookies, or what sort of set-up there is there for visiting, but I certainly won't be hopping in there with his Easter basket, no sir. Ha, he would kill me.

Paul and I have decided that we are going to make an additional trip down there in June to attend his graduation.

phew. Life is interesting. Paul had a routine physical a few weeks back. He heard the other day that during the EKG, his old friend A-Fib showed up. He had an ablation done a few years ago to fix it, but was told it could return, and it has. He doesn't think it is as bad as it was before, but oh my, I had forgotten all about that little chapter of our lives. He will be fine, there are many options to treat it, but still. My husband and his heart are very close to MY heart, and I found myself more than a little shaken to hear it.

Life isn't always sunshine and roses, but God sends all things for our very best. There is great peace when we fight against our own anxieties and really believe that. Actually, it is easier to believe it in the big trials, but when someone spills milk or when Paul decides to cook a huge breakfast while I am cleaning the kitchen for a party or when I find out that those pizza rolls in the freezer for the party that I told no one to eat are half gone...well, then I need to really wake up! It is NOT about the circumstances, it is about how I take it! I get to choose!

in which she stays up way too late...

Miss Char, cousin Dani, Miss Camille....all dressed up for their cousin's wedding, and Miss Sonja Kathleen, she turned 12 yesterday.

The lovely couple, my sister's daughter Ellen, and her new husband Phillip.

My sister Cheryl...

Sonja K. relaxing with the pups on her birthday...

We had a party today...for Miss Charlotte Claire, she is turning 8 next week, and Jonathan, who turned 10 last week, and Miss Sonja K., turned 12 yesterday.

And, it is way too late, so...off to bed with me.

ahh, friday, and finally a real post....

Today, I thought I would try to sneak in some time to finish my book. It's the right kind of day for it, overcast and gloomy, my favorite kind of day, although those brilliantly sunny warm ones are nice too. Anyway, I thought maybe I would sneak back to bed and get some reading in. Some relaxing. But Paul is working from home today, and the little girls didn't go to school, and I have been so busy...

Here's what I did yesterday:

Got the kids out to school.

Swept and cleaned off the counters.

Made some coffee, and left with Emily to shop for the food for my niece Ellen's wedding.

We first dropped the minivan off to get the oil changed and an inspection done.

Then off to Aldi. Then to Wegmans. Then to Maines, which is like ten miles farther because the parmesan cheese was too expensive at Wegmans. Then a coffee stop, then out to the church to put unload. Then to the school to pick up Charlotte Claire and Camille, then home. We had just enough time to bring in our own groceries, say goodbye to Emily, then to the small city for Char's dentist appointment. It was only the princesses and me, and they wanted to go to Kohl's because they love looking at the clothes, and knew I wanted to get a birthday present for Sonja. We did, and we got her a skater skirt, a t-shirt, a sweater, and some leggings. (She liked them, yay me!). (her birthday isn't until tomorrow, but I couldn't wait.)) Anyway. Then to Walmart to get batteries for Jon's birthday present, and some stuff for their party, good stuff like streamers and plates and balloons. Then to BJ's for brownie mix for the wedding. The girls had fun in there because they were giving out samples. I did take a piece of Dove chocolate:), but skipped the crackers and grape juice. Camille went to the cracker table three times, poor starving child.

Home to drop off the kids and the stuff, then back to town with Margaret, to pick up the minivan. Yes, it passed New York state inspection, but. It needs new something or others. The poor mechanic was explaining it to me, and said, "You know, the bushers." Um, I said, No, actually I don't. It is only a few hundred to get them all replaced, and we need that van in good shape for our trip to Georgia next week.

Ahh, home. I made dinner (orange ginger chicken breast, zucchini and onions and cauliflower roasted in the oven, and cantaloupe.) Then in the evening, ice cream pie for Jon's birthday, which I had made the night before. I only had a few teaspoons full, phew. It was too good with that butter/crumbled cookie crust, and hot fudge on top.

Anyway, Emily and Abigail were over for a visit, and we had a very relaxing and pleasant evening. I was ready to turn in early-ish, and right as I was getting in the shower, Kathryn texted and wanted a ride home from babysitting for my niece's children. Paul thankfully volunteered to go.

So today, I let the girls stay home because Char's cheeks were like a chipmunk yesterday from the dentist visit, and of course Camille said she just didn't feel great, and they haven't missed a day in a while, so I said they could stay home. Yay! Party time! They had all these plans, and their joy is so contagious.


I have swept and washed bedding and clothes and towels, baked several dozen cupcakes, and packed them up for Sunday. I still have to frost them, but I love that part. I washed the top of the stove, puttered around wiping things down and sorting things and cleaning up. I helped Camille work on her school project, and fill the goody bags for the party, which is on Sunday.

Tomorrow is a wedding!!!! My sister's number six daughter Ellen is getting married. (she has seven). There are 300 guests expected, Paul is helping with the meal. He has to go out tonight to prepare, and go early tomorrow to help again. Some of my kids are also helping to serve. It shall be a very encouraging time, and very nice to see so many friends. My sister's #4 daughter is in town from Australia with her fiance, her family is meeting him for the first time. I don't even know what I am going to wear yet, that's how busy I have been. I will probably wear the same dress I wore last year for Ellen's sister Janet's wedding, and to my other niece Liz's wedding. I would like to have looked in Kohl's and found a fabulous dress that makes me look like fifty pounds lighter, for ten bucks or so, but I didn't even look. We had shopped so much, and I just didn't feel like it.

Anyway. Here I sit, having a little relaxation while the girls clean their ever-messy room. They just had some ice cream pie with Jonny, and I politely declined. Miss Char has a big plan, and amidst all the stuff I did today, she has been driving me batty. She has saved up all her birthday and Christmas money for a long time, and has over a hundred dollars. She wants to buy a tablet, and she wants it before we go to Georgia, which means we can't order it and know it will get here in time. So she has been looking online all day, on and off, looking for one that she can afford and that is in stock. Even though it has been annoying, I get a kick out of my consumer-driven kids, learning how to navigate the internet and find who has what in stock, and compare prices and features. Of course this whole thing is RIGHT up Jon's alley, so they have been chattering to me all day the virtues of this or that tablet.

The verdict is that if those girls get their room cleaned, I will take them to the small city to Walmart and let Char get her tablet. I am so nice I can't stand it. Because seriously, I would rather go to the pool, or just chill, or or or. But. I promised, because it will perhaps get that room cleaned....and perhaps stop the tablet talk.

Oh, and here is something to rejoice about: Mali passed nursing school!!!! She did it! She persevered, she passed her tests, she passed her classes, and she is done, all except for one class she has to take for six weeks. I am very proud of her. If I had a dollar for everytime she was ready to give up....

So next Wednesday, we are outta here! We are heading to Georgia!!!! The ride will be challenging with the little kids, but they were so good on the trip to Florida last year, I'm sure we'll survive. This trip is only 17 hours, with stops probably longer, but really not so long.

So that's what has been going on here. I got back from Seattle on Tuesday, and have been going non-stop ever since. I am so extremely thankful for my family lately. Shopping with Emily, which isn't how I would have chosen to spend my day yesterday, but we agreed to help, and we both know how to make the best of life, and we certainly had our fun. Life is too short to grump about what one has to do. My two little girls have been fighting too much lately. They are 18 months apart, and the best of friends, but when they have their competitive moments or their squabbles, look out. They know how to push each others' buttons, and when they have a mind to fight, they are really good at it. Sometimes I think they just get bored and argue recreationally. I told them today that I am not going to try to figure out who said what or who is at fault, but if they are bound and determined to fight, they can just sit in chairs or go in their room and fight all they want to. I figure if they are doing it for attention from me, they can just cross that off their list. If I were to try to sort out all the little hissy fits, by the time I got to the bottom of things, they would move on to getting along well, and be best friends again. Jon sometimes gets involved, mostly because he likes to argue a bit, but he mostly does it for something to do.

My five-girls-in-a-row-in-five-years, phew, they can disagree! At any given time, there are two of them at each other. I try to get involved as little as possible.

Anyway. I am enjoying my life. I do recognize that I have People Coming Over Anxiety. I never feel the house is clean enough for company. Probably because...it isn't. It just isn't in my realm of capability to keep this place spotless all the time. I do not like clutter, and it isn't dirty, but...it isn't how I would like it to be. So when company is coming, I see a million things that I need done, now! We are having people over on Sunday for a double birthday party for Jon and Charlotte Claire, their friends, and perhaps their friends' parents, and some relatives....it is supposed to rain, so the house will be pretty full. I could do my old trick and make cookies, like I did one time the house was messy and some boys from church came over. They were so distracted by the hot chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven, they didn't care about the house. :)

Oh well, dinner time approaches and yup, no idea what to make yet. And, I need to go on a long walk down the road before it rains again. And, Jonathan is playing with his new remote controlled helicopter and is commenting and talking to me....