grandbaby spam!!!!

Chunky thighs on Ophelia Madeline Rose!


This fine morning, Evelyn Joy, Sonja K., Jonathan, and I went to visit Mali and baby, on the way to the airport. Evelyn is heading west. Baby Achilles will be meeting Aunt Evelyn for the first time today, too, all the way in Oregon!
Baby Achilles...


Ophelia went home from the hospital today!


We stopped at the grocery store after dropping Evelyn off at the airport, to stock up on bananas, because: little grandson Grant is coming for the weekend! He loves his bananas. We also got more eggs, and yogurt, and cheese, and and and.

Samuel has Army Reserves Drill this weekend, so Grace and little Grant are coming along, and we'll have lots of visiting time.

Anne is here this afternoon, we read nine and a half books so far. :)

...and, wow, just like that, a brand new baby!!!!

...so I was going about my day, planning to make it to deep water aerobics, class #2 in the evening, when I got the call. Mali was in labor! She was at the dr., in the city, and labor was confirmed, would I come get little Lydia? Jon and I headed out the door. Well, Ashley met us there, took Lydia home with her, and dropped Jonny off at home. I went over to the hospital.

Mali was four days early, but that baby was ready. Her labor progressed quickly. We arrived at the hospital around one in the afternoon, and Ophelia Madeline Rose was born at 6:28, eight pounds even, and 21 and 1/2 inches long.

I am not saying the labor was easy, but at least it was relatively quick, and the sweet little baby girl is healthy and strong. So, my seventh child had our seventh grandchild:)


Lydia was thrilled to meet her new baby sister!

Mirielle works closely the hospital, so she stopped in on her lunch break.

(Mirielle with little Elise, baby Ophelia, and Lydia)


Elise and Lydia...so excited to be at the big hospital! Ashley is amazing, she brought Lydia up to visit baby, so of course she brought Elise:). Aren't they cute?

So last night, baby was born, and neither Mali or I had eaten all day, so we ordered pizza and wings, which came right when she was moved up to her room, 9 o'clock. Josh had to go home and take care of their kitties, and get some sleep, so I stayed the night in the hospital room with Mali. It was a double room and she was the only patient, so I was allowed the bed. Well, we settled in around midnight, but Ophelia had other ideas. I was dozing, and poor Mali was trying to get baby to sleep, and it wasn't happening. So at two, I told her I would take her, just get some sleep, she was exhausted. Well, baby was sweet, she fussed and I rocked her, then got her a pacifier, and she loved that. Apparently there's a movement to limit the pacifiers while breastfeeding, but I assured Mali that I never had an issue. I rocked her and held her and soon the clock read 6 o'clock, time for Ophelia's first bath. The day was starting!

So I started the day with no sleep, and no coffee, until I ventured down to the lobby around nine. The coffee was good and hot, and worth like a million dollars. But, the headache had already started. I finally took an Excedrin, and when Josh got to the hospital, I headed home...I got home at noon, with a pretty bad headache. Ugh. I took a nap.

This afternoon, we went out and about for a quick trip to Target...Sonja, Char, and Cam and me. We got some more tortilla chips, burger, a few bags of coffee (Starbucks was on sale, plus a cartwheel discount, $4.49 a bag), and a gallon of windshield washer fluid. We stopped to get a new dump permit, and to get some gas in the van...

Home, ah home, and dinner. Taco salad, again! Poor Camille doesn't like it, so I set aside some ground beef, browned it up and added tomato paste and seasonings, and she had spaghetti.

This weekend, Sam and Grace and little Grant are coming from Virginia!!!

Anyway...what a day!

The birth was an amazing experience, and I am so thankful I got to be a part of it. I am very proud of Mali, and happy for her and Josh, and Lydia. Ophelia Madeline Rose is beautiful!

well, it IS January!

It was sunny and cold, windy, brisk, when Jon and I set out on our walk this morning. Now, it's a whiteout, you can barely see across the street. The wind has picked up and it's very cold out there. We walked yesterday with the pups, then again today, it's nice. We are planning to try every morning.

Yesterday, wah, I went into Suzanne's empty room. I cried and cried. Not just because Suzanne left, but because that room has been the prized room for a whole parade of kids. It was Benjamin's room when we first built the house, as evidenced from the permanent marker on the door, which reads, "Benz room". It was painted and fresh new carpet was put in when Ashley lived here while Benjamin was in the Army. It's a nice bright room, and each time it was abandoned through the years, a new kid happily moved in. There's a bed and a desk, a few nice mirrors, a pretty lamp, and a cool hanging lantern light. But no one is fussing to move in, there are now FOUR empty bedrooms in our house.

So yesterday, I cleaned and vacuumed that room. Jonathan helped me clean up and vacuum one of the other empty bedrooms, and we cleaned and vacuumed the hallway. Today, if we can make ourselves, after we finish up schoolwork, we are going to tackle the biggest room, which is storage and the freezer on one end, and an abandoned bedroom on the other end. It started out as a playroom, but as we had more kids and they wanted more space, we let them move some beds in. Now, one empty bed in there.

As you can well imagine, these children of mine didn't all take all of their belongings with them when they left. Oh no, there are textbooks and diplomas, movies and books and boxes of things. So we go through the rooms with two bags, one for the garbage, one for the thrift store. It's hard. Those tiny little rollerblades that were once fought over, the two pogo sticks, and the old bassinet for a once prized pram. I know it's better to clean it all out, and have things fresh and empty, but ouch, the emptiness makes my chest ache.

Camille is back to school today, still a cough but feeling better. She didn't really want to go, but she packed up her backpack, her lunch, and her clarinet, and out the door she went. Sonja is taking her place on the couch with a fever.

Margaret brought Wulf over last evening.

This is Jon, on the hover board, which is synced to Margaret's phone, playing Wulf's favorite songs, while he pushes Wulf in the purple car. And yes, that IS a rolling pin on the floor, I didn't crop the photo because Wulf likes to get the rolling pin out of the drawer every time he comes over. He played with it, and leaves it wherever he is when he thinks of something else to get into. He's fabulously charming, and so sweet, and so busy, and I love having him visit. His mama works full time from home, while keeping him happy at the same time, so when he gets to get out of the house and come here, I don't mind if he makes himself at home. He's really good if you tell him to close the cupboard drawers or put the glass candle down, he doesn't whine or fuss. He just goes on to something else. He likes to come visit me in my comfy chair and rock for a little bit, then get down and play more.

Grandchildren are amazing. I am very thankful for them. We have six now, Ben and Ashley's two little girls, Anya 6 and Elise 2, Sam and Grace's little Grant 2, Margaret and Adrian's Wulf, 2 in March, Kathryn and Darius' Achilles, and of course Josh and Mali will be having a little sister for Lydia 4 soon, she is due in four days! (and I get to be there!!!!). So seven grandchildren...:)

I do have so much to be thankful for...

crying buckets...

me, Suzanne, Jonathan, library nerds.

It was hard to say goodbye. 2,750 miles is not just across the street. Laden with suitcases, her backpack, some cashews to eat on the trip, hugging us, it was hard. Her little sisters are going to miss her the most. She's the kind of sister who will make homemade ramen and churros with them, knit them cute hats with ears. It's just hard.

But one good thing, I made it to my first water aerobics class! One full hour of moving in the water, how can that be anything but good? The instructor is a very nice lady, she kept things moving and kept stressing that if we can't keep up, it's okay. I think I kept up all right. The last fifteen minutes were mostly stretching exercises, and that felt amazing after getting the heart rate up.

Now, I just have to keep going, two nights a week, because we all know I am my worst enemy, talking myself out of all these things. Going into a new situation, new people, not knowing what I'm doing...these ladies have been doing these classes for years, and I had to strap on a float belt, and choose some weights, it's like being in high school again in gym class, and everyone looking at me, ugh. But I choose not to care, because I partly do care, but I don't want to care. Make sense?

I mean, we don't care what others think, but when we're in the situation, we find that we're dying of embarrassment. When I went to put the water weights away, they're made of foam, and very light, and they go on this big shelf made of plastic pipes...they have to balance. Of course one fell, and knocked down five more, which knocked down ten more, rolling hither and tither, me standing there all lovely in my dripping swim dress, not caring what anyone thinks, right.

Outside the old comfort zone, right where we don't want to be.

Today, Camille is home from school again, she might be able to return tomorrow. It was nice having her around yesterday, Paul worked from home, so I did leave and go to the library, and to Aldi with Jon and Suzanne.

This fine morning, Jon is going to go on a walk with me. He has made a commitment to better health, he's been working out every day and eating better. I ate only one meal yesterday, and it was the best taco salad ever! I ate when I got home from the pool, almost eight at night, and it was SO GOOD! Jon and Sonja made it, and it was packed away so nicely in the refrigerator, I just had to get out what I wanted, warm up the taco meat. Sonja teased me because she says I always say whatever I just ate was the "best ever". Harrumph. It was!

the achy break-y heart of mothering...

Suzanne is moving to California, leaving tonight. That simple statement doesn't give away the grief, the sadness, the slipping-through-my-fingers feeling...
The last pic is with Kathryn, when she visited in the summer.

So here we are again, another one leaving home. It doesn't mean I won't see her, because it's always on my radar to go to California to see the boys. But once they leave home, it's never the same. They come back to visit, and see the house through different eyes.

So of the sixteen kids, only Sonja, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, and Camille...25% of them, ha. Now for some people, four kids at home might seem like a lot. And it IS a lot, but we are rattling around like peas in a pod. We have four empty bedrooms.

Everything is such drama with me. Kids grow up, stand on their own two feet, parents get old, and maybe downsize, and life goes on. But my life has been so defined by motherhood. So many years of nurturing and nagging. Each of those babies born and placed into my arms, rocked and nourished, reluctantly sent out the door to school, growing strong and independent, until one day, poof! Our home becomes, "Mom and Dad's house".

When the older ones come here, it's happy, it's good, it gets loud and silly and overflowing, and I love it. But it'll never be the same, as it was when they were all here at home. In fact, I wonder if they'll all even ever be here at the same time again. I wonder if our last family pic will actually be our last, as they grow and have their own families.

The goal in having children is basically to help them reach the place where they can stand on their own two feet, help them to reach adulthood, to be responsible, upstanding citizens.

But mama here has formed attachments. I've given my all, loved them and focused on them, cared so deeply. Part of me screams, "Please don't leave me! Don't go so far away!" All these days of seeing you, all these Good Mornings and afternoon coffees and daily interactions, we knew they were finite, yet the end of them hurts me deeply.

I know I am a drama queen, I do know that. You just cannot imagine how sad I am that Suzanne is leaving home. She cannot possibly fathom how much I care for her, how much I'll miss her as she pursues her dreams.

Living in the these times, being able to keep in touch so easily, does help. But once they leave home, it's never the same.

This morning, Suzanne will come upstairs, she will maybe wash a few dishes, she'll have coffee with me, maybe we'll go to the store one last time, as we are running out of coffee filters and sandwich baggies, and have only a half gallon of milk. But later today, she is leaving, and in the wee hours of the morning, she will get on that plane, and that will be it.

I wonder why we moms have to love our kids so much, so much that it hurts. I wish I could go back in time, and give my own mom a big hug, because now I understand a bit more. I would listen more when she started in on her, "when you were little...", instead of rolling my eyes like my kids do now.

Anyway. Evelyn is going on a trip out to visit Miss Kathryn and Darius, and their new baby, I'm bringing her to the airport on Friday.

Paul is probably going on a work trip this month, and I am hoping to go on a girls' getaway weekend at the end of this month. We need a trip to the library, to stock up on books for Jonathan. Camille is sick, she had a flu shot this year, but has a fever and a slight cough. She spent the last few days on the couch, and did not go to school this morning. I hope Suzanne doesn't catch it, no fun traveling while sick.

Anyway. Life is good, even with the sadness. I am going to the pool tonight, for a deep water arthritis class, with my friend Angela.

...time marches on...

Not too long ago, nine children got on the bus here in the morning (a few years we did have ten...)


Aaron, Joseph, and Mirielle were in nursing school that fall. Joseph only stayed one semester, it wasn't his thing. Mali was also in nursing school, Emily was already a nurse, working in the hospital. Abigail was in college for accounting.


Our camping trips were a blast, and the little girls just beautiful.


Mr. Handsome, and me.


...when Benjamin got back from Afghanistan.


Me with Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and little baby Sonja K. Margaret wasn't in the pic, but she wasn't in kindergarten yet. I had five under school age home that year. (the next year, Marge went to kindergarten, and that's when we had little baby Robert, stillborn, on the day of kindergarten graduation) (then we were blessed the next year with Jonathan, Charlotte two years later, and Miss Camille Anaya a year and a half after that)


Joseph and Aaron, and a sweet note from Jonathan.

Today, Miss Sonja K. and I headed to the store. I wanted to check some things out at Kohl's. I had looked online, and they had some really marked down dresses, it's the time of year to buy last year's summer stuff. I don't NEED new clothes for Mexico, but yes, of course I do! I didn't want to spend $75 to get free shipping, and I didn't want to pay $8.99 for shipping, and the clearance stuff wouldn't qualify for free store pick up. So, we went to Kohl's. I got one dress for $4.40, one for $5, and one for $10, plus a skirt for $7.20, a pair of Nike shorts for $6, and another pair for $3. Sonja found Birkenstock soft bed sandals for $27, they must've been an online return, and Adidas sneakers, marked from $64 to $12.99. So it was a worthwhile trip.

Tonight, Benjamin and Ashley are coming for dinner, and Lydia is coming to spend the night. Tomorrow, Margaret is coming over with Wulf, because there is a college basketball game...Adrian is working, so is Paul, as well as some of the other kids. I will be here with Jon, Char, Cam, and...Margaret and Wulf, and Lydia.

I didn't go on my walk today, but I did my push-ups, some weight lifting, ten pounds weights, but still. I also stayed on course, with no sugar, ect., because...I haven't eaten anything yet today, except heavy cream in my afternoon coffee. Sonja K. and I decided to stop at Starbucks.

Dinner: steak on the grill, chicken that has been marinating in lemon juice and Montreal seasoning, on the grill, roasted cauliflower, potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots...crescent rolls, and applesauce.

So, since the cook is ME, I had better get moving.