pre-thanksgiving weight again

Was that pie really worth all this work to get it back off? Yes. Undoubtedly. Especially the lemon.

I am finding out that I cannot just eat "normal" anymore, or the pounds go back on. And I didn't even eat like I used to, I still exercised some restraint, such as no potatoes. No rolls. Oh well, there is a price to pay for anything that is worth anything, so I shall just pay and stop complaining about it.

Charlotte Claire is home from school today. She hasn't missed very many days, and she was just dragging this morning. So I asked her if she wanted to stay home. Camille was more than thrilled when she came stumbling out here this morning and discovered her buddy here on the couch. The look on her face was priceless when I told her Char wasn't going to school.

Yesterday Benjamin called. I talked to him for quite a while, during which Camille was setting up a store with her cash register and some food from the cupboards. She told me she would clean it up, "Promise!", she said. I asked Ben if I should believe her. He said, "No, of course not, but you should let her play anyway." Sure enough, last night at bedtime I had to get her to put the canned stuff away.

Going to the pool was not an option for me last night, I figured. Paul had to be picked up from work, he had a board meeting to go to, and the older kids were going over to the pool, so no one would be here with the younger ones, plus I was making dinner. Then Aaron volunteered to stay home and make dinner, and watch the kids so I could go to the pool instead of him. No, I couldn't possibly, I said. He insisted. Said it was fine, really. He was therefore In Charge of dinner, so he made the sauce into some excellent chili, and made a pan of rice, and some cornbread. I got to swim, and come into the house in time for dinner! (Joseph picked Paul up from work). The swim was welcome and refreshing, and not to be all mushy or anything, but it really warmed my heart that Aaron did that for me.

Ha, and I thought I didn't have anything to write about this morning.

I think I have enough clothes to wear in Jamaica. I wish I was a more confident person sometimes. I am tempted to envy people who are so sure of themselves. My mother used to tell me all the time to stand up straight and tall, and not to be ashamed of, "what God gave you." It embarrassed the heck out of me, but I tell the same thing to my girls now. No hunching over and slouching, please! But that confidence eludes me. I have to watch where I walk or I will trip, bump into things, do things all wrong. In theory I do not care what people think about me, but...ha, I still have a long way to go in that area.

And, of course the only thing that matters in the long run is what God thinks of me!

It was nice to talk to Benjamin. The boy is finally growing up. Not because he is an Infantryman and can shoot a rifle, or because he is a Medic and can fix up the injured guys, but because he went to The Goodwill store and bought a pair of jeans for five bucks. Yes, my boy who, a few years back,would blow a whole pizza-delivery paycheck on a jacket from some store in the mall.

So...will I be able to find all the Christmas stockings this year or will there be one someone left in their room then lost or threw away?

Will the tree lights work or will I have to play Switch-The-Bulbs?

How many more ornaments will have broken since last year?

How many more will they break as they decorate the tree?

We are getting the tree Saturday, "we" as in, "Paul". Jonathan and Sonja and maybe Sam will go with him. They will cut one down, and I will say it is the most beautiful tree ever, even if I have to turn the bad part toward the wall.

Today I get to go to the Dome for a Syracuse University basketball game. Football - I could do without, basketball, I love it. Syracuse basketball? Lovelovelove. They won the National Championship a few years back...oh, that was sweet. So working at the concession stand is fun. Can't really watch the game, but if I scrunch down I can see the scoreboard. Just being there with all the yelling and clapping...and of course when I take a break, I can go watch the game...and hopefully stay the heck away from the Cookiewiches. (a cookiewich is a totally miraculous creation: two huge home made tasting chocolate chip cookies, with soft ice cream twirled between them, frozen solid. It is SO good, but also over 500 calories. Should I skip lunch? Maybe I will take a break with someone and split one.)

I think I might finally be coming to terms with the No More Babies thing. I am not devastated or depressed, but I still have my moments. I dreamed recently that the baby I lost in August was still in there, alive and kicking. I woke up and just cried all over again. But for the most part I am okay with not having any more...okay, there IS this tiny flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, I will get pregnant again and the baby will thrive and maybe there will be two or three in there...ha.

My Camille is sitting here with me, all cuddled up. My Camille who is now four years old, and smarter than I am.

And now it is the dreaded Face Reality time. The house is much better than it was yesterday, because I swept and mopped and sorted and straightened and did laundry and hung up sweaters and jackets and put things away. Today has a few messes of it's own, but not nearly on the Monday scale.