who messed up this house?

It wasn't me. that is the response I would get from any one of the kids. Well, it wasn't ME, either. But it is still my fault. I somehow didn't raise them right, I guess. Either that or we are just too busy on Sundays. I don't know. But this morning, blah, there is a counter full of dishes. And a sinkful. And, just stuff to be taken care of. The floors need to be swept every morning, and the dishwasher done after the kids leave for school. But Mondays just are messier. blah.

And it is rainy and overcast.

I only took a short cheaty walk this morning. It got late, and I spent too much time mingling with the older kids as they wandered in their dazes around the kitchen this morning, trying to stay out of each other's ways as they opened the 'fridge and stared into it, hoping something yummy for breakfast would just jump right out at them.

Samuel got up way too late, I made him some toast, but he refused, said he didn't feel well. Out the door he went, then back in he came, saying his head hurt. Back to bed for Samuel. I told him he is old enough (16) to decide if he wants to stay home sick, he is the one who has to make up the work.

We are going to get our Christmas tree next Saturday. This means re-arranging the whole living room so it can go into the corner. Do I feel like doing this? Of course not, but I will for the kids.

Today I have to put some beef in the dehydrator for Paul, run several loads of laundry through, clean up the house...and play with Camille. And exercise. And make something good for dinner that doesn't include turkey. Paul has a board meeting tonight, and some of the kids have band practice at church. Tomorrow I am working at the Dome. Oh, never a dull moment.

And...I have to try to figure out what I am bringing to Jamaica. I need to know if I have enough clothes for the week. I certainly have enough bathing suits! I remember last year in Dominican Republic wishing I had brought more clothes. The hotel we are going to this year won't be as fancy, but still. And the clothes I wore last year are too big, poor me. Ha, feel sorry for me anyone? That I can't find enough clothes for Jamaica? I know, it is lame. But I really only have this one jean skirt that fits. I did buy a few dresses, and a nice long white skirt. And a white button down shirt to go over my bathing suit (s). I have been scouring the clearance racks at all the stores, trying to find super cheap tank tops/skirts, but haven't been too successful. Maybe today I will get a chance to try some things on. Packing for a trip for me is complicated. I have to put as much as I can in my carry-on, because there is always that chance my luggage will get lost. I have to have at least one bathing suit, because I can't just go buy any old suit at a hotel shop if my luggage was lost. (perhaps someday, but not yet). And I like to bring a mini medicine cabinet, because I am a strong believer that if one doesn't pack anti-diarrhea meds, one will certainly get a bad case of the traveler's diarrhea. No tylenol? Headaches will abound. Bringing the triple antibiotic and some bandaids pretty much assures one will not get a cut, and the Benedryl will help ward off those allergic reactions. Plus, I need to bring my razor, I don't want prickly legs all week if my suitcase ends up in India. Does Paul go through all this? Nope.

I have also been selling a few things on ebay. One lady didn't realize she couldn't Buy It Now after she bid, so she wants me to cancel the auction and list it with only Buy it Now so she can Buy It Now. Well, that doesn't seem too nice to the others who are bidding. I have a few more things to list, perhaps one of my bathing suits, ha. I had better get to it, the days are passing quickly.

Camille is up now. She has her princess snuggie on, and is playing on the rug with Bendaroos, singing about the colors. She is the sweetest thing.

As we were getting ready to leave for church yesterday morning, I discovered a bag of candy bars I had hid in my room for Christmas stockings was not only opened, but almost gone. I asked who had been into them and got a chorus of, you guessed it, "Not me!"....as I started to launch a grand inquisition, I realized that it was not the time for such a thing. I am still wondering if I should ask more or just forget about it. One of the kids actually said that it is probably Daddy. Well, no. If Daddy discovered a bag of candy bars, he would have happily brought it out and passed them out. He loves giving things like that to the kids, and he doesn't eat much candy these days, it is not Paleo. He follows that diet mostly. Fruit and nuts and veggies and meat. He is not totally strict about it, he has coffee with cream, and an occasional dessert. But he is feeling quite good, following it. We are having fun eating healthy together, though it is not the same for him. He never had those days that only a stack of cookies would brighten. I started to tell him the other day how much of an emotional battle I had with food, and he just looked at me with this puzzled look on his face. Forget it, I said. If you don't get it, you don't get it. It is still hard to sit down with that afternoon coffee...just that afternoon coffee. No cookies, no treats. Just some chocolate chips once in a while. I used yummy things as a reward, as the commercial for Andes mints said, "The perfect little Thank Me." After all, I was tired and busy and stressed, I deserved to sit and put my feet up and have something good.

Now I feel like I deserve to spend the time on myself for walks and exercise. It does feel selfish sometimes, but it is a necessity. And I can't wait until things are in order around here, I just need to walk away from it and do what I need to do. It has become a priority, which does seem selfish, but if not, it would never get done, and my excuses would triumph. Because my excuses are quite clever, and plentiful.

Now, though, I shall go clean up some counters and get this place nice again.