alive and well....

After a long day...at our church conference

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Evelyn and Abigail, my second oldest and my eleventh child...(25 and 12)

Jonathan, 8, helped out so much by making sno cones.

My dear friend Linda, this one's for you. Thank you for the help at the candy store, and for the friendship. I thought we would get a chance to talk more, but it is busy and goes by too fast...

Miss Mirielle, my fourth oldest, working in the kitchen at the conference.

Emily Anne, my oldest, and Camille Anaya, my youngest.

Aaron in the kitchen.

My older brother Bob, at the conference. In the kitchen, of course.

My dear husband Paul...he was only there for one day because he had to work.

Margaret Cheryl, my ninth child, fifteen years old.

Samuel James, my eighth child...17 years old. He was on "watch duty", and had a large walkie-talkie hooked to his belt loop, so I told him I wanted a picture of him looking all Law Inforcer-y. He said, "Mom, you do know you can just buy these at the store, right?". Whatever. And the walkie didn't even show up in the picture, amazing photographer that I am.

Abigail talking with Emmi, a good friend of ours who lost her husband to a car accident last year. The thing about our church - the older ones and the youth have it so good together. No age barriers, just good friends.

Dave and Angela...parents of eight, still in love. Dave is a five year cancer survivor, he had cancer of the asophogus. He is such a good example, they are very good friends too.

So that is where I have been. Summer Conference at our church. Amazing to be there, but phew, exhausting. I heard some good things...one childrens' meeting was about thankfulness....to use thankfulness as a sword against our grumpiness. I need that!

My spirit was refreshed, my desire to be faithful was increased, I felt like I was re-converted.

Then it was the day to pack up and come home. It was hot, and I didn't have much help because older kids weren't there, a few middle sized ones went to an amusement park with friends from Canada, ect. So. There I was, packing up the camper. The tent needed to be taken down, bedding packed up, cupboards emptied, clothes taken off hangers... Bringing it all in the door at home. One child was not helping. At all. Grumpy. Going sloooow. rr. Then, she got upset at being asked to do something, swung around, and knocked a glass candle holder onto the tile floor, accidentally, shattered glass, yay. I was hot. I wanted to go in the pool. I grumped and grumbled and nagged at this child. My son Aaron said he heard me complaining and thought, "I guess Mom didn't hear anything good at the conference." Ouch. Yes, ouch. But. I did hear something, and just because I found myself forgetting during that trial, I did hear something. I do need to be more awake, I do need to take heed to myself first and foremost. Yes, it is easy to see that the child is being grumpy. But what about me?!! I am thankful. Thankful that I can indeed see how sinful I am. Thankful that I know God will help me in temptations.

Pray for my son Benjamin. He has been in the biggest trial of his life, over there in Afghanistan. His wife has decided that she does not want to be with him anymore. And if that weren't painful enough, she has found someone else. He is brokenhearted. He has been focused all this time on coming back to her, going on a trip somewhere, being with her. He knows God is near him, and has gotten great comfort in knowing that all things work together for the good for those who love Him. He has a good attitude, but he is suffering. If you could pray for him, that he keeps his faith...he obviously feels betrayed and hurt, and is really working on not becoming angry and bitter.

This has been heavy for me, of course. But I am truly thankful that Ben has not turned away from God, as people tend to do when bad things happen. I ache for him though. If I could take the pain in his place, I would. I told him that if I thought of any magical thing that would help, I would let him know. He did laugh at that, which I needed to hear, Ben's laugh. I am proud of him. One of the sergeants offered to try to get him shipped home sooner, but Benjamin said he cannot leave his men, if anything happened to them while he was gone he would not be able to live with himself, he said. Thinking of others, caring for others always helps us to think less of our own problems. It probably is healing for him.

Anyways, there is much suffering in this world, and sometimes I feel like I could just lie down on the floor and cry. We did have a crying party here in our living room the night the kids found out that Ben and Ashley were splitting up. We were really sitting around watching the Olympics and crying. Then Suzanne pointed out that Jon cries funny, and we were laughing our heads off for a few minutes.

I still love Ashley. I feel like I am losing one of my daughters. I do not want to lose her. Pray for her too.