oh it's way too early in the morning....

It's nice out here, finally! The sunshine, the warmth, the green everywhere!

Yesterday...I had to drive Margaret to her job, because of complications from that fun car crash last November, she can't drive for a while, which is pretty devastating for an 18 year old girl with independence. Then it was time to go work at the college lacrosse game, which turned out to be too much fun. I had to "do cash", which involves walking halfway around the huge-o Dome, way faster than my little legs can carry me, to keep up with the Manager, who doesn't notice that I am almost jogging to keep up. When I mentioned that I don't know how to "do cash", he promised to help me. I then told him that I do know how to count. He didn't laugh. ugh. Anyway, it was easy because the game was very slow, not many in the stadium. So we got to chat quite a bit while we worked. Mirielle, Joseph, Kathryn worked...along with my sister-in-law Kim and her daughter Eileen, and lots of other friends.

We stopped for an ice cream on the way home, a soft serve chocolate and vanilla twist....how can one resist such a thing after being on one's feet for hours (and I won't even get into how it felt to put my sneakers on with those blisters from walking like ten miles Saturday during that Cherry Blossom Festival).

Home...it was late, after 10:30...and my little ones were just heading to bed. They were happy, and I was thankful for Margaret. She had made them homemade broccoli cheddar soup for dinner (Camille took one taste and had a sandwich:)). She is so good to them, Miss Marge. I had brought them home giant soft pretzels and cheese cups to dip...they had never had the cheese, and wanted to try it, and it was still warm...so I let them. They took a few bites and we wrapped it all up for today...

Since Paul is in France, the two princesses sleep with me in the big comfy bed. Cam said, "Mama, I like you because you are squishy, and your bed because it's squishy."

I got in bed at the same time as they did, but I finished my library book...ugh. I think it was three o'clock when I turned out my reading lamp. Then at 6:30, I woke and remembered that I wanted to get up with the school girls, Evelyn and Sonja. I didn't want to, obviously, but I did. I didn't even see them yesterday because I was gone to work at the Dome before they got home from school. I hate that part.

And I want to go back to bed, tired as I am, but my niece's little boy is coming over for the day, and I have things to do.

Life is interesting. Parenting teenagers is challenging. It takes more patience than I'll ever have. I.am.not.your.enemy. I am on your side. When they go through that phase where Mom is just ancient, and doesn't understand. When it's almost impossible to be on the same wavelength. I want my kids to make good choices, and I'll do anything I can to help them. In the end, they can choose whether or not they want to "stay on the straight and narrow", or make other lifestyle choices. I can only pray, and be patient, and be good, and encourage...and say "no" to things I don't think are healthy for them, which always makes me popular, ha. Times of trial aren't just torture though, there is a purpose for it all. It is a testing of faith, and it is also a lesson in humility...I simply don't have all the answers. I also find so much anxiety, when we all know: today. Today has enough cares of it's own. And I can't help feeling a sort of fellowship with God during times when I am upset and worried about the path one of my children is on...He certainly can understand.

I also can't help but feel overwhelmed sometimes with the weight of responsibility I have with these kids of mine. It isn't just feeding them and making sure they have shorts for summer. But I trusted God when I had them all, so I need to trust Him now - He will give me the strength and endurance and wisdom I need to deal with situations.

Paul is still in France, and I miss him. It's not easy to do all of the parenting by myself. I have talked to him on the phone, it's nice these days that it's not expensive anymore to talk "long distance". He'll be home on Saturday night.

Tomorrow I work at the baseball stadium for opening day. It should be fairly busy. Then on Friday...almost all of my kids are heading up to Ottowa to babysit for families there in our church who are preparing for a big church feast. Abigail, Margaret, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, and even Jonathan, who is only ten, but is excellent with small children. So when I work at the second baseball game on Friday, my sister will watch Char and Cam, as Joe is working the game too. It will be quiet here for a few days with them all gone...but ha, I'm not too sad about it. The princesses will love having tons of attention.

So today or tomorrow I need to write permission notes for the kids to travel across the border (I had Paul sign several blank sheets of paper before he left for France), locate birth certificates and I.D. cards, pack snacks, and help Jon pack a bag.

Life is interesting. There are so many details, so many things to take care of....Kap's working papers, Margaret's travel/work Visa, Mali's baby shower, our trip next month, report cards to submit, appointments and auto maintenance, our pool needs love and attention, our yard...trim needs painting, and never mind all those nice little renovations I want to do. It's good to plan, but to let it all weigh me down...nah.

Ah well. I feel better now, writing is my happiness. It helps me sort my thoughts, it relaxes me...although if I get any more relaxed, I am going to be snoring. blah. Will I ever learn?