happiness, sadness, all mixed up....

Is it possible to be exuberantly happy in the midst of feeling sad about something? I feel disloyal to Duke to be so excited, but: we bought plane tickets! Jonathan and I have been saving up to go out to Washington state to visit Ben and Ashley and little Anya...and since Paul has frequent flier miles, we were able to get tickets for Char and Cam too!!!! They don't even know yet, they are still sleeping. Jon made me promise that he could be the one to tell them. None of these younger ones has flown before, so it will be quite an adventure...I went from flying out there alone last December, to flying with three kids this September!

Paul isn't sure of his exact schedule for September yet, other than he will be in Norway for part of it. Hopefully he'll figure things out and get a ticket and join us.

Ben and Ashley: we are invading! But only for six days. It will seem like a whirlwind for a few days, then we'll be gone, and Anya will be looking for the kids. It's nice that they will get to play together, my little ones love the littler ones. And I maintain that if my grandchild is going to live on the other side of the country, I am still going to see her! hmph.

So you see, happy here, but bummed about Duke. What if his biopsy comes back that it's not cancer at all? The vet wants to remove his ear if that's the case, doing chest x-rays first to make sure his lungs are clear, ect. Um...I don't really think this is going to happen. Duke is such an old man dog. He won't like to have all this done, he's old and wah. It's mean not to do it, but it's kind of mean to do it, too. And of course cha-ching.

I need to clear my head. So much swirling around...it's one of those weeks when I wish I wasn't the mom, just one of the kids, responsible only for packing a backpack for myself...but alas, I am the one who has to bring the coffee filters and matches and aluminum foil, the extra sheets and barbecue sauce and the can opener.

We have things starting to stack up on the kitchen table...

Then this morning, I realized that Ben and Ashley and Anya and Samuel are going to be here this Friday! That means I have to clean the house, too! dang it.

Packing and cleaning...and Evelyn has New York state regents tests today, which she needs rides to and from...tomorrow, too. I have to do some grocery shopping for the camping trip...

I have to pack clothes for myself, Jon, Char, and Camille.

But first I have to wash clothes. The hampers are rather full.

I have to wash towels first. Where do they all go?

Sometimes I wish I was one of those each-kid-has-a-towel-and-a-hook kind of moms, with the color coded drinking cups and individual storage cubbies....

All those ideas to make a mom's life easier, I can't seem to manage, partly because I am vehemently opposed to raising my huge flock of kids as if we live in an institution instead of a home. And what if they don't LIKE using a green cup every stinkin' day of their childhood? I know I like a variety when choosing what to drink out of. I like my Corelle coffee mugs, but not the same one every day!

Some moms deal with the Shoe Problem by restricting the number of pairs each kid can have. My little girls are shoe-aholics. You can get them all ready to go someplace in a jiffy, but you had better plan some shoe choosing time. Flip flops, sandals, sneakers, or dressy shoes? Rainboots or leather boots or warm boots or maybe the loafers?

Anyway. I have a busy week, but the fact is, I am going to see all of my kids together in a few days!!!!!

And the fact is, I can't wait. Ben, for instance, has turned out to be the most amazing guy! He is funny and charming and quick-witted and humble and responsible and respectful and thankful...and this is a boy who gave us the biggest headaches for a few years there! Oh, he was a handful. I worried more about him! And I mean serious worry. The wrong friends, the wrong attitude, always a day late and and a dollar short. Crashed cars and mysterious transactions...someone really just GAVE you a car stereo? I do credit both God and Ashley for turning my boy around. When he met Ashley, he wanted to be a better man, he had something to straighten himself out for. As for God, He never left Ben alone. He seemed to know Ben needed trials, and He also did miracles in his life...the boat accident and the four-wheel accident (Ben almost died. He had an infection in his leg from the tree branch that stuck in his leg, and it moved up so fast, the surgeon said they were afraid they were going to lose him. 15 years old.) He ran a red light one time while delivering pizzas...totaled the car. So to say I am thankful for the way Ben has turned out is like the biggest understatement ever.

Anyway, the busier I am, the more likely I am to go off on tangents because I think it is a welcome distraction from the stuff I have to take care of. When I get really overwhelmed with the little details of life, I think longingly of sitting here in my comfy chair and writing, because it's what relaxes me.

Oh, btw, taking Duke to the vet was humiliating. He had fleas, which I knew. We have flea treatment drops, but always try to wait to apply in the evening so no one pets them and gets it on their hands, but kept forgetting. Duke has a bare patch on his hind quarters which has greatly improved since I started giving him a teaspoon of coconut oil every day. His nails are too long, and with the huge lump on his paw...the vet was kind, but you know when you are really aware that someone think's you're stupid? The way she explained the biopsy was like she was talking to a kindergartner. I did get some expensive flea treatment from the vet, and put on both dogs....

Anyhoo...here's another tangent. I was at the grocery store the other day all by myself. While chatting with the cashier, she was visited by her baby brother, who was all grown up and taller than she. It led to talking about her brothers and how much they eat, and I told her I know a little about that, which led to me telling her how many kids I have at home to feed....which led to a conversation about cost and volume of food...and I said, "I like to feed them healthy food, too, which is expensive. We don't just eat big pots of pasta." As I said the word "pasta", I happened to glance at the pile of food belonging to the lady behind me...a stack of boxes of pasta. I looked at her, she looked at me, and looked away. I seriously was not insulting her, I had no idea she was behind me buying pasta. And it was just an example I used, because some people assume we just eat huge casseroles and pasta. oops.

I don't like to hurt people's feelings or step on their toes, I go out of my way to be nice, and oops.

All right, enough nonsense for now. The girls are awake now, and Jonathan has told them about the trip. They are pretty excited. Davian is here, and wants to go too.:)