keeping busy...

Once upon a time there was a middle aged lady, who didn't know she was old until she looked into the mirror or had to walk up hills. She acted 12 when she was with her 12 year old, and 7 with her 7 year old. She giggled when it was inappropriate to do so, and whispered with her sister in church. She liked to go barefoot, and preferred to leave major housekeeping until company was coming over. Her idea of a perfect day involved a good book and some cookies..but alas, she stopped eating cookies.

This poor woman though..she had so many kids she didn't know what to do! She felt like she was drowning sometimes, paddling to keep her head above water, keeping track of who was where and who needed what when. She loved all those kids with all of her heart, and didn't want any of them to ever feel slighted. So she dropped whatever she was doing whenever any of them needed a ride or a hug or someone to listen to their really good dream.

Her own wants and needs seemed selfish sometimes, even a walk down the road was a challenge. She stayed up with teenagers who wanted to watch movies, last night it was, "American Sniper", which was way too sad, and reminded her of her own son's tour in Afghanistan, and she felt really really bad for those soldiers who were in firefights and battles and had to return to Real Life and be normal again.

This lady was a Stop And Smell The Roses type. She knew that life was NOW, and not some wonderful thing that was going to happen when all of her ducks were finally in a row. She knew how to browse and dawdle and never missed an opportunity to gaze up at the stars on the way in the door from somewhere.

This woman liked to bake. She loved to bake. She was excited because one of her daughters was having a baby, and the baby shower was in five days! And, of course, she was making cupcakes! Would they come out good? Would they get smashed and banged up during transport?

The baby shower itself was looking to be fun...whole families were invited instead of just girls. A cookout! She was planning the food with some other daughters, there were so many details to take care of! She already bought purple napkins and plastic cutlery and bottles of sparkling grape juice. She bought drawers to transport cupcakes, and so many little baby outfits it wasn't funny. Ha, after years and years of browsing baby sections of stores...then the babies stopped coming...she had to break the lovable habit of baby sections...now to have a good excuse to haunt those aisles of pink and blue cuteness again...!

Mothers eat the burned toast and drink the old coffee from the pot so the kids can make fresh stuff, wouldn't want to waste it! This morning, this particular mom poured coffee from a pitcher next to the pot, heated it in the microwave, then found out it was double strength decaf from yesterday, to make iced coffee. Oh well. She drank it.

This mom loved to read. She wished there was an eighth day in every week, set aside just to cuddle up and read books, without interruptions like, "Mom, can you drive me to soccer?...Mom what's for dinner? What time is it?" (seriously, you can't look yourself?) and of course the whole litany of Where Is...scissors, tape, can opener, the iron, phone charger, ipod charger, t.v. remote...go ahead, I wasn't trying to read.

Anyhoo. This lady was never ever bored. She appreciated car rides all alone, just to think about things. She was almost sad she fell asleep so quickly at night, because she missed out on thinking time.

She had big plans. She was going to write children's books someday, and sell lots of things on ebay someday, and maybe start a small business selling homemade insect repellent and lip balm. She was going to clean out closets someday too.

She also had home improvement plans, to work on when life wasn't so busy. Countertops and painting cabinets and walls.

She was losing weight, this mom. Slowly slowly slowly. It was hard work, but she had a vision of herself, in excellent shape, keeping up with life, and being able to wear anything she liked instead of trying on five outfits and always looking too fat. She could just picture herself not caring if the sleeves were long enough to cover her arms, and actually wearing tank tops in public! She had jeans in her drawers with the tags still on that she bought so hopefully in size 14..she couldn't get them buttoned yet, but soon!

This mom was taking charge of her health. She took her vitamins and didn't eat any sugar anymore...her only carbs were veggies, and a serving of fruit a day, usually berries. She ate almonds and macadamia nuts and cashews and pistachio nuts sparingly (okay, not always so sparingly.), and has had only four bites of chocolate in the past six weeks or so. She is on fire with determination to get this done. The sugar cravings are under control, and now she would just like the weight to fall off, please.

She is going to the doctor tomorrow for a check up. She absolutely hates doctors. Not personally, of course, but the personal scrutiny is uncomfortable. She can never remember the important questions, and sits there on that table, swinging her legs and saying she feels fine, and has no complaints. Even though she has episodes of dizziness sometimes, and of course once in a while in the night she wakes up and wonders if her heart is pounding so hard because This Is It, the big heart attack...

This lady has to be done blogging now because her darned minivan still sounds like an airplane when cruising down the highway, and that cranky noise it makes when it turns hasn't gone away, despite the $500 in repairs a few weeks ago. She hates making phone calls, but there it is, she has to call the repair shop, then bring it in and drop it off and live without it for a day or two.

She is happy the pool is on it's way to being swimable! (who knew? swimable is not a word!) She is also hopeful the hot tub will be revived instead of just being a receptacle for hatching tadpoles.

Her little friend Davian is here today, and kids are reading books and talking about how many days are in a year. Cam took a random guess and was right! They are too funny. Jonathan fixed his quadcopter, ordered a part, it finally came, and yay.

And...enough for now.