untethered in the universe...

For some reason, that was the phrase that went through my head when my mother died. It was how I felt. Lost. Surrounded by my husband and kids, but lonely. My mother...I used to call her when I was making dinner, almost every night. I would call her in the morning, around nine o'clock, after the kids got on the bus. I would call her when someone lost that particularly wiggly tooth, and when someone won a prize at school. I would call her for recipes and advice and just for reassurance that my life wouldn't always be so busy. It's too quiet here at my house, she would tell me. I'll trade you, she would say.

I am missing her these days. It's funny, the ebb and flow of life, how the kids grow up and are now my adult friends, and also how my mother-in-law has turned into my very good friend. I am not lonely, anymore. But I still miss her. She had such a huge heart, and all the time in the world for each and every person who crossed her path.

Summer has descended upon us with heat and humidity...poor Jon is on day #3 of being sick. Sonja is sick too, and Char keeps taking her temperature. Being nine years old, it's not clear if she really doesn't feel well, or she's still young enough to think it's rather fun to be sick.

The kids who feel fine are antsy. They don't want to stay home today, they want to go somewhere! So I don't know what's in store for me today. Evelyn keeps looking at me, wanting me to stop writing and figure out what we are going to do...:)