summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

teenagers and how to deal with them....

Ha, if you thought I'd give you answers...instead, I entreat you to take a deep breath, say a prayer, then say exactly the opposite of what you thought you needed to say to your teenager. Dealing with teenagers is a painful experience, and there is definitely no one-size-fits-all in it. In my book, what's required are buckets full of forgiveness, a soft heart, and a few more buckets of forgiveness...and a huge dose of humility. For the MOM (or whoever has the gift of dealing with the teenager!).

Me: You have too much make up on.
Kid: Do you think leggings with a skirt look nice?
Me: No, but I have a huge muffin top at the moment, so my jeans aren't comfy, and I am not there yet in the Leggings as Pants thing.
Kid: I like my make up.
Me: You are so pretty without it.
Kid: You are so critical.

Me: Can you wash up a few dishes?'
Kid: I have so much homework. I don't think you realize, Mom.
Me: When you're done, then.
Kid: I won't be done until bed time.
(How, may I ask, does this child have time to binge watch every episode ever made of that one hospital show?)

Me: I'm going to the library today while you're at school.
Kid: What?! I NEED to go to the library!!!
Me: I have no problem going after school instead, if you want.
Kid: No, because then you'll be mad you had to wait for me.

At the moment, we only have three teenage girls at home, one teenage boy, one older boy who is no trouble at all, and the two little girls who know more about monthly cycles and biology than you would think possible, courtesy of having nine older sisters. Jon knows a thing or two also, doesn't bat an eyelash at the conversations these girls have. Anyway. Kathryn is coming home from California in a few weeks, so it will be even more fun, ha.

These three girls...the third, fourth, and fifth girls of our five-girls-in-a-row-in-five-years, are besties, when they aren't worst enemies. It comes so quickly, they're all laughing and having a good old time, then woosh, one says something, and another retorts, and the third one either sides with one of her sisters, or rolls her eyes and walks away. There can be slamming, pouting, crying, but it never lasts long. They have too much fun together.

And here's the thing: we love them more than life itself. We would do anything for them, and our only hope is that they are happy in life.

Yesterday, one daughter came home from school with tears overflowing. I had a bad day, she said. I can't offer details, but she was threatened three times, by the same boy...he says he is going to beat her up.

Never a dull moment. This daughter is a little bit scared, because who wants to have a target on their back? They say this boy has been in trouble a lot and has been in fights, and in my book, any boy who threatens a girl....hmm.

So pray for us, that we don't give in to that spirit of fear, because it IS written that God has NOT given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1/7)

So these girls of mine all went to school today, brave souls as they are, I offered them, especially the one, to stay home, but no, she said that's just letting him win. He's not there, but his friends are there, and with social media, these things go around, and sides are being taken. It's ridiculous, but it's the world we live in.

Pray for us to be safe, but also not to blow things out of proportion, and also that we can have soft hearts and not let hatred in.

On a different note, yesterday I painted an ugly little dresser, didn't take "before" pics, but it came out so nice! I primed it first, which was very strong smelling stuff, oil based, but oh it worked to cover up the red. Then, I chalk painted it Plaster color, from Walmart, then waxed it looks really nice. of the brand new stools, the black one...I spray painted it with spray chalk paint. It was not a success. It didn't go on evenly, it dripped, and I just wasn't impressed. My sister was helpful, she said that I can always wait until spring, take it out on the deck, and do it over again. But I didn't wait until spring, I just repainted it with regular chalk paint. I had some of the plaster color, and added some golden brown acrylic to make the color creamier, and it looks fine now. I finished the last coat of wax this morning.

As if I didn't have anything better to do. Tomorrow is our Thanksgiving. Tomorrow. Anne is here, and I have like ten pies to make. I have cleaning to do, but guess what? We are going to the library. Somebody got out a Game of Thrones book, and it's severely overdue. The kids really want more books to read, and Anne likes the library a lot, there are blocks and toys there.

We will also stop at the store for a few straggly odds and ends, like eggs and milk, and then Jon wants to go to Sears to get his glasses fixed, hopefully they can just put the arm back on for him without too much hassle.

So I'll come home with groceries and books and small children, and wistfully wish to just crawl into bed with a steaming mug of coffee and a good new book, but I won't. We need to move the kitchen tables around and sweep and mop under them, and there is always juggling with stuff...Paul's hunting clothes bin, and school supplies and craft stuff and and and.

But guess what? I am SO excited for Turkey Day. So excited. Emily and Mirielle and Mali all have the day off, three R.N.'s with the same day off! And Ben and Ashley are here!!!! Little Anya and baby Elise, and sweet little Lydia will be here. I am so excited. I am not excited about all the work, but it will be worth it. We have a fresh turkey in the fridge, and have so much to be thankful for....


Rose S. said...

I feel bad for your daughter being bullied. Never a dull moment, is there? My 7 yr old grand son who takes a bus to school was bullied on the darn bus. One day he came off the bus with a black and blue on his face. Needless to say everyone was ticked off. After much going back and forth from the school and bus company they watched the video of the incident and it was a 10 yr old boy who bullied my grand son... he clocked him after many words exchanged. My baby boy whom I love dearly didn't just sit there though... oh no... he got so sick of this boy being so mean to him he whaled him with a full water bottle and then punched him pretty darn hard. 10 VS> 7.... I shake my head in disgust that parents don't seem to care...

I guess my point is this: your daughter will take care of herself... she will win in the end... and that boy will leave her alone.

P.S. My grand son, Jacob, accepted this boys apology a few weeks later... I thought that was very brave of him. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Joybells said...

I'm praying for your daughter! Brave girl, to march on into school. Let right prevail, and all evildoers slink away ashamed.

Happy Thanksgiving! May it be a feast for body, soul and spirit!

Joy from Salem

Anonymous said...

What boy threatens to beat up a awful. Thinking of her...
Great thoughts about teenagers...I will remember to breathe!


16 blessings'mom said...

Rose, years ago when my Sam was in grade school, a bigger kid on the bus teased him relentlessly. One day my Benjamin told his little brother Sam, "Just punch the kid!", so Sam did. I had to go into the school and talk to the principal, told her how much teasing Sam had put up with, and that of course he listened to his older brother...he didn't end up getting in trouble, and the boy respected him after that. Violence isn't always the answer of course, but in this case it seemed to end the matter.
Joy, it's been challenging for my girl, because there are a lot of kids calling her names because of a particular incident, and high school is tough as it is. But I told her, and her sisters told her, that let this be a wake up call...and use it as an opportunity to get free from what people think of you! And I heard one of her sisters tell her that she shouldn't be scared, that God is watching over her.
Simone, I know! In my day, boys were taught not to hit girls, at least at my house. My sons wouldn't dare! Well, maybe their sisters a little bit, but even then they respect the girls. I believe in equality, but it has to be paired with good old fashioned respect, and lots of kids these days are totally lacking in respect for anyone, or anything.