just pushing through and being thankful!

I do have a revelation:  you don't have to feel thankful to be thankful.  If you sat around and waited for that, well, maybe YOU  could manage it, but me?  No sir!  I find a lot of grumbling, over here.  It's then a conscious decision to be thankful.  

For life!  For home, family, warmth, dinner, for a God who listens and sends me what's for my very best.

This fine day, at one point, I actually thought I was going to go around the bend.  Paul works from home, and he's on calls, his office is right there, and I can hear it all, door closed is a little better, but it's usually opened.  I'm here doing my thing: trying to walk and doing exercises, then sitting down and elevating the leg, resting up, scrolling blogs, then getting back up.  Well, today, through no fault of his, he annoyed me something fierce.  What did he do, you might ask?  He simply rode the exercise bike here in the living room, which is kind of behind my chair.   I had just sat down after vacuuming and doing other chores which seem to drain me quicker than they ever did before surgery.  I was playing solitaire on the laptop, which is a total waste of time, but?  I felt so self conscious, he was there behind me riding that bike like he was being chased by the devil himself, huffing and working hard...and I felt like such a lazy bum.  

Then duh, I realized that I was having these irritated thoughts about him, and he wasn't doing anything wrong at all!  

Mostly, I'm annoyed at myself.  I have been working so hard to walk, and I can't do it yet.  But, I am not going to talk about this today:)

(One  thing about him working from home is that he's here, but he's not here, he's working.  Sometimes he'll be in the kitchen getting a coffee, and I'll ask him what he wants for dinner, or what he thought of the thing in Minnesota, and he'll point at his earbuds and mouth on a call.  oops.  He's here, but he's not.)( I am super glad that he gets to work from home though!). I'm not exactly lonely, but you know, not too long ago I'd be talking to my sister about these things.  Not too long ago I'd be going out and about, like it was going out of style. Water aerobics, shopping, visiting the kids...library, out to brekky... Now...meh.  Here I am.  

I put an order in for a warehouse club for chicken breast, pork chops, cream, red skinned potatoes, yogurt, granola, fruit snacks, Belgian cookies (from Christmas, marked down to $5.98), Oreos, butter, bagels...Sonja and Oscar are going to pick it up for me tomorrow afternoon, thus we won't have to take our weekly trip to Aldi.  

Coffee:  I like the local coffee, but it's much more expensive than buying a bag of Lavazza from Amazon. I order our dog food and cat chow from Walmart, it gets delivered, and is so much easier than buying in the store.  I recently ordered toilet paper and paper towels from Target, they had a $15 gift card if you spent $50 on that stuff, and their prices are decent to begin with.  

Anyway.  The girls made dinner tonight, stir fried chicken with freshly grated ginger, sesame oil, and spicy orange sauce, rice, and broccoli.  It was very good.  Tomorrow I'm going to put a brisket in either the oven or the crockpot...I'd like to put it in the smoker, but it wasn't working well, and I am not huffing down the stairs to find out if it will kick on or not, I'd have to throw the brisket down, then catch up with it.  :).   I think oven would be better, but crock pot easier, and safer, since I'm going to PT in the early afternoon.  

I've been thinking of asking Paul to get my sewing machine out for me.  But when people come over and it has to be put away, I'll be at someone's mercy to do that too.  I want to do things for myself, but wah, right?  

Ah well.  The girls are here, tired, they've been working a lot, and are working again tomorrow...so I will talk to them before we all retire for the night...you have a good night!