things i miss...

 Old people and The Good Old Days, who woulda thunk we would be among those longing for them?  I was hanging up clothes today, and it reminded me of shopping in Sears.  Sears was a bit hoity-toity for us when we were growing up, but when I had my own kids, I found myself there often.  I bought nursing bras, maternity jumpers, footwear, kids' clothes, winter coats, appliances.  

I miss the mall too.  We have a huge-0 mall,  in the city, but it doesn't feel safe to me, in fact there was a shooting there last night, after it closed in the parking lot.  It's also so big, and there isn't much there that's affordable.  In the smaller mall that closed, there was a Sears on one end, Dick's on the other, and in the Good Old Days, a K-Bee-Toys.  We would go to The Children's Place, and H&M, straight to the clearance racks, of course.  They added an Old Navy, and we were all set.  In later years there was a Dunkin in the middle, with lots of comfy chairs, it was a great place to go on a snowy or rainy day.  

We would smell the caramel corn and the Cinnabon, but we never bought it, too expensive.  We would smell the candles in the Yankee store, and in the Bed Bath, and Beyond, and sometimes bought some from there.  (It was a big trick, like:  Buy Three Get Three Free!, and you'd walk out of there saying Dang, I just spent fifty bucks on soap and scent!).   We went in Claire's sometimes, they had good sales and the girls quite liked it.  They liked Charlotte Russe, and a few other little stores, as well as Aeropostale.  I liked when they had Gap and Baby Gap.  (When Jonathan was born, I bought him loads of adorable outfits from there, we hadn't had a baby boy (a live one, which is hard to say, but Robert didn't need any baby clothes, sadly) in years, almost ten years.  

Anyway.  I do miss the mall days.  

I miss having the kids home.  It echoes in here of quiet today.  Sonja and Oscar and baby Kaia went to Washington D.C. with Char and Cam for the weekend.  Paul is working on an apartment in a house we own, it's been empty for months, with us paying the mortgage and utilities, have to get someone in there!  I would normally be there helping him, but add that to the list of things I miss!  I am not much help these days.

I miss my sister, of course.  Sometimes achingly so.  I walked past the guest room, and recalled bringing the phone in there to talk to here, if the girls were out here in the living room.  It's like a gut punch sometimes, the remembering she's gone, and the nothingness now.  I feel desperately lonely, and I know I'll adjust, but there is no one on this earth I can converse with like I did with her.    

Yah, I know, I have an excellent husband to talk to, and he really is sweet and kind, but he isn't interested in the details.  And shh, half the things I talked to Cheryl about were about him, ha.  Oh, nothing bad, but husbands are hilarious in their own way.  I didn't get to tell her about the time about a month ago when he said to me:  Can you tell me what's for dinner, in ten words or less?  In other words, he didn't want a rambling answer, just get to the point.  It was hilarious, yet a tiny bit hurtful.  My answers aren't THAT boring...along the lines of:  Well, there is bacon, so we could have eggs, and we have peppers and onions, so we could have scrammys, but there is burger we should eat, but I'm not sure of the girls will be here, so maybe we should freeze that and have chicken?  I sort of see his point.  But, in any case, Cheryl would have appreciated that.

Yesterday after I went to the pool, I came home and puttered around a little.  I was discouraged, my walking is not great.  Paul was going to work on the apartment, so I asked Margaret if I could come visit for a few hours.  Wulf, Tennyson, and Blythe were very glad to see me.  I read some stories and listened to their stories, and had some hugs, and Wulf made me a coffee, with his mama's help.