blizzard!!!!!

Today, we are expecting a blizzard! A foot or so of snow, perhaps almost two feet....cold and wind. But yesterday...oh yesterday was bliss! Sunshine and warmth! I dropped my sister off at her appointment...then went to Save-A-Lot and spent $8 on some produce and a pound of butter. Then to the thrift store, two bucks on three books. The through the drive-through at DunkinDonuts for a coffee...and off to the lake I went. It was so warm, I left my coat in the van. I ate an orange while I walked along the channel. I walked briskly along, totally and completely enjoying that sunshine. I walked/jogged a bit, then sat in the van with the sun shining on my face and arms while I read a book and ate almonds and an apple, and sipped my coffee. After I basked for about an hour, I headed to the grocery store for just a few things, and to use the bathroom. I ran into my sister-in-law and her grandson, they sat in my van for a bit while we chatted and I held the grandson:), who is a cutie-pants.

Then Cheryl was done, so I picked her up and we headed back to the same grocery store for her prescriptions. She was a little loopy, more so than usual even, so I told her not to say anything to anyone. It was quite funny. She was pretty worn out from the procedure she had done (kidney stones blasted), so I got her home before we did anything stupid. Don't ask.

Anyway. I got home, and Camille was on the couch again. 101 fever. Enough of this, I called the dr. Eight days in a row of spiking a fever is too many. I was told to bring her right in. So right in we went, just Camille and I. She was just so sweet. She has acute bronchitis/walking pneumonia. Our wonderful medical insurance only lets us get prescriptions at Walmart and one other small pharmacy that was closed, so off we went to Wallyworld. I let her ride in the back of the cart with her little thing of orange juice and baggie of cheese crackers, like a two-year old. It took almost an hour for the medicine, so we wandered around looking. I let her pick out some rainbow hair extensions for 97 cents, and some plastic sparkly rings. I found a $3 pair of slippers, and a few $1 shirts for the girls.

Home...oh it's nice to be home. Paul made some salads, I cooked up some dreadful Ramen noodles for the kids, gave them some chicken and salad with it, and we had dinner.

And today, no school!
This is our pear tree. Pretty soon it will be covered with blossoms, and it will be beautiful. But for now, it has to endure the wind and the snow. But, spring WILL come.

I don't mind this storm, mostly because I don't have to drive in it. I won't like it if the power goes out, but otherwise, it's cozy and exciting. I have taken lots of pictures of "before", and hope to take some cool "after" ones.

I think I will make some cookies for the kids to warm it up in here and celebrate that this is a wonderful day. I can make some pumpkin healthy ones for me:)

Or, I can clean out one of the hall closets. Nah, cookies sound better....

and off I go....

This fine morning I am taking my sister to an appointment. I left Jonathan with some work to do, Joseph is here, as well as Kathryn and...Sonja, who isn't feeling well this morning. Camille is still sick, I may have to call the dr. for her. Charlotte Claire was sick with the same thing for several days, but Cam had a fever again last night...day number seven.

She was better yesterday, Miss Camille. She hadn't been out of the house for days, and begged me to take her somewhere. I cleaned her room nicely yesterday, which is always fun. She said this time it will stay clean, which I believe each and every time. The day I stop believing that is the day I get in this chair and stay here:). Anyway, I took her out and about in the afternoon, then she zonked on the couch after dinner, and lo and behold, had a fever again. Bad Mom Award.

We went to Walmart and bought a small rug for Jon and Sonja's room, a few cute little bins for the princesses' room...then they begged to go to the dollar store. I just wanted to go home, but I took them. It's a good thing I did! I had fun! There were huge bins of Target bathing suits for...one dollar each. Last year's suits, new with tags. I bought trunks for Paul and Joseph and Jonathan. Bikinis for the little girls and for my niece and tons of tops and bottoms for all of my daughters. I made some new friends with a few ladies as we dug through the bins and shouted EUREKA when we found a matching top or bottom of the right fabric and right size. I told the ladies that I have eleven daughters, and they were so helpful in finding some nice suits. It was great fun, and Jon and Camille made friends with a little girl named Raven, her Grandma was looking through the bins with me. (Poor Raven will probably get sick in the next few days:()

My girls here were pretty thrilled with the abundance of new bathing suits, probably because this has been a long winter, and bathing suits are proof that summer does exist.

I got a few that fit me, too. And a nice one for my sister.

My coffee cup is empty and my raisin toast is gone...oh, that Food For Life bread is yummy...before I discovered it, I hadn't had toast in pretty much three years, except for the occasional breakfast out, where I would eat some of it. I am a carb-o girl at heart, if a high carbohydrate diet were healthy, I would be the healthiest girl out there. Obviously it isn't. For years, I would subsist on bagels and crackers and toast and cereal all those busy tired days. And cookies, to boost me up on those afternoons of failed naps. And after the good naps. Anyway, now I pretty much avoid the grains and breads and chips. Dinners are mostly chicken and veggies, no more pasta for me. Breakfasts are sometimes like eggs and broccoli, sometimes some oats and a cut up apple or blueberries, or the F F L toast, which is made from sprouted grains. I just have to get back to No Eating In The Evening, even if it is healthy stuff. I find myself wandering around looking for something to snack on. rrrrr. Yesterday I bought five bags of double dipped chocolate covered peanuts for a dollar a bag at Walmart. Big mistake. I hadn't had any lunch, so I thought I would eat a few in the car on the way home. Ha. A few and a few more. rrr. No more for me.

I have formed good habits as far as eating healthy, but still need to modify some behaviors:)

And, since I have lost weight, my metabolism has changed. I slip up just a little, and voila a few pounds find their way back to me. Not fair.

Anyway. Life is good.

and a new week....

I am almost hesitant to write anything today since I possibly offended half the world with my last post about Monster Jam:) It just goes to show that I have to think about the fact that people actually read this when I am writing it.

Paul and I have been married for 30 years, yesterday was our anniversary. Did we celebrate? Go out to dinner? Um, no. He fixed the oven though. He thinks he fixed it, I hope so, black stuff, sooty-like, has been the by-product of this oven for too long now. I also got to go to church to watch a few transmissions of a Sister's Conference, and had lunch with my friends. Time change combined with staying up way too late on Saturday night, and I was ready for a nap yesterday...but I didn't want to waste a perfectly good afternoon sleeping, so...I went shopping with Evelyn and Mirielle. Paul just didn't feel like going out to dinner, so I didn't push it. We are planning a weekend away sometime when the weather warms up, to Gettysburg again. I realized that going out and about made me feel better about the fact that hey, it was our thirtieth, and yes, I had some expectations. We agreed to postpone our week away, but still, I guess I felt a little ripped-off. So, off shopping we went. Mirielle is great fun, and she has a Kohl's charge card, and had a 30% off coupon. I bought my little granddaughter a beautiful dress for next Christmas for $3.50. I got the princesses each a skirt for $2.40. We went to the grocery store next, and got some corned beef and cabbage and carrots and onions and milk and coffee and bananas and oranges and grapes and cookies and eggs and cheese. Then a quick stop to the craft store because they had a good sale and a %20 off coupon. I bought some canvases for homeschooling Kathryn to paint on, a sketch book to put away for Joseph's birthday, and some lovely fake flowers. Oh, and some spools of ribbon for the princesses.

Home. I sauteed some chicken breast in olive oil and pepper until it was crispy, then tossed it in orange ginger sauce. Steamed broccoli and snap peas, and voila, a dinner! A yummy healthy dinner. Camille was home with Paul, she had already eaten. The rest of the kids went to church to see a movie and have dinner, so they were all set.

Kids going here and there and everywhere, it is hard to sit down and eat as a family these days, but we try, because it is really important. We already have Thursday's dinner planned, it will be our corned beef meal. Mirielle has the night off, and we may possible be able to all be here in the evening.

There are chicken thighs marinating in the 'fridge for dinner, so I feel accomplished, knowing in the morning already what's for dinner tonight.

I have my second load of laundry in, and have washed a sink full of dishes.

Jon needs some help with some school work,(he is teaching Camille some math right now) and Camille is chomping to get out of the house and go somewhere. I kept her home from school again because she still had a fever yesterday. She is much better today, but needs to get better before she goes to school to pick up the next sickness.

It is 32 degrees out right now. Zero Celsius. Camille opened the door to let the dogs out, and yelled, "It's spring! I am not serious, it is spring!" She obviously doesn't know exactly what the word SERIOUS means, but it was funny. Because it is still freezing out, and there is still lots of snow, but when it has been such a long cold winter, 32 doesn't feel so bad. But...there is a snowstorm brewing for Wednesday night....more snow. ugh.

But spring will come, and it will feel glorious.

Emily and I might take a little trip out west to visit Ben and Ashley and their baby Anya, next month. She is trying to get a few days off from work. I just think that not seeing that baby day after day, week after week, is torture...but not seeing her for the whole year is just not right. They are supposed to come home in November, when Benjamin gets out of the Army. I can't wait that long. And of course it will be nice to see Ben and Ashley too.

Mirielle and I are talking about trying to plan a little trip to Hershey, Pennsylvania, to take the younger kids to the amusement park there. And we are planning our trip to Georgia for Sam's graduation from boot camp. We would like to take a few vehicles and take the whole fandamily, if possible. We will see.

a birthday and a phone call and sickness....

Mali turned 20....she came over last night and we celebrated a bit. Pizza (a vegetarian one for her with olives, red and green peppers, and onions. She has been a vegetarian for five years now.), and salad.

It's funny to think that when I had Mali, I was 28 years old. Seven kids, and 28 years old. A year younger than my oldest daughter is now.
Mali was two in this one, when Sam was the baby. I was thirty then, and had half of the kids I would eventually have, not including Robert:(.

Mali was a cute little thing.

We HAVE to include a pic of Duke and Suri. Mali took this last night, after she covered them up nicely for their nap. She had put the princess Snuggy on Suri then called them for a treat, and we laughed our heads off as Suri padded across the floor wearing that pink Snuggy.

Then a phone call from this guy, my little Sammy. Private Samuel J. W., now, although ha, I definitely still think of Sam as this sweet little boy. He is now at his barracks, ready to start boot camp. He only had like 30 seconds on the phone, but said all of his mailing info would be sent to us, and that he loves us and misses us. And that was it. We probably won't hear from him for a while, but we ARE planning one heck of a trip to see him graduate in June. I am proposing that all of us that can go down there, taking two vehicles if we have to. He would be so happy to see the the little girls...and Jon...and all of us.

And, I have been sick. Functioning sick, as per usual. Know what I mean? I did take a mega nap on Thursday afternoon. I had taken Kathryn to the library, and kept feeling really sick, like I was really going to be sick to my stomach, and I had a headache. I managed to get through Target and the grocery store, kept feeling blah then fine....then got home and slept for three hours. Of course I was wide awake at bedtime, so I read an entire library book. Then yesterday, again, felt blah. I took another mega nap, then managed to clean up the house and make the birthday cake, while Suzanne and Kathryn made the pizzas.

I don't feel horrible, just blah-ish and yucky. And, today is Monster Jam. Monster Jam is ridiculous, but we (our church) run a concession stand there. The Carrier Dome is filled with dirt, and those huge noisy trucks race around, kicking up dust. It's a sad day for people like me, who take the money from the poor people who seem to cash their paychecks and blow it all on over-priced junky food. They aren't allowed to bring their own food in, so they have to buy stuff. Some of them seriously don't know simple math, and demand to know why it adds up to so much, while others simply look shocked that three bottles of water add up to $11.75. I know, I know, it's a free country, and if people want to waste good money on one day of fun, so be it. But I can't help thinking how much good, healthy food these people could buy for the amount of money they spend. And believe me, this is a different crowd than we get at sporting events. More guys with dirt under their fingernails and the greasy spot on their hat where they adjust it. More people that need dental work, kids that don't have Under Armour jackets. I just hope they have lots of fun and really enjoy it all, although for the life of me I don't understand it. (I realize this sounds really snotty, and I don't mean it that way. I love people, and enjoy the interaction with them, I just am trying to be truthful. The day just makes me sad.)

But off we go today, Paul and I and Joseph and Emily and Abigail and Margaret...to work at Monster Jam.

My throat hurts. I would like to go get back in bed for another one of those mega naps, but, alas, we are short handed, and I can't just not go today. I will take a few ibuprofen, and hopefully be fine.

Camille is doing better today, normal temperature finally. She is still rather subdued, not bouncing off the walls yet, and her hair...oh, what a rat's nest! She hates having her hair brushed on a good day, but when she was sick, she refused. So now we have a major detangling event on our agenda.

There is birthday cake out there on the table, with my yummy homemade buttercream frosting, and it is not calling me, it is SCREAMING my name. I am ready to go scrape the whole thing into the garbage. I escaped without even a taste last night, but what good is that if I go out there and eat the rest of it, little by little, every time I pass it?:) I made some of the frosting peanutbutter, and I know it must be heavenly on the chocolate cupcakes....but I will NOT even taste it. Nope. When I don't feel well, my excuses are pretty darned good, but they are still excuses. I made two eggs this morning, and steamed a bowl of broccoli, eaten together....healthy, but come on, it's not pancakes! Oh well, feeling good is better than eating food that is bad for me. Right? Perhaps I will make a slice of that yummy Food For Life raisin toast....(I didn't get any money for saying this, but that is GOOD bread, the Ezekial bread and the raisin stuff...made from sprouted grains, gluten-free...) It's five dollars a loaf, but if you keep it in the freezer and make it last, it's worth it.

it has been five years now...

since the horrible awful unbelievable mind-numbing night that my brother took his life.

It is supposed to get easier, and perhaps in some ways it has.

Some days go by and I don't even think about it.

But there is still that punch-in-the-gut remembering thing that happens when I think about Billy in the context of how he would think something or other was funny. Hits me anew, I groan and wonder for the millionth time what in the world possessed him to do something so....so permanent. So final.

I don't spend all of my days wondering, nor do I dwell on sad thoughts. It occurred to me that the longer we live here on this earth, the more sad anniversaries of things we rack up...7 years since my dad died, 8 since my mom died, ect. ect. Life is too short to be pulled under by sad memories.

I don't always get sad when I think of Billy. Sometimes my son Joseph will give me that look, that look that makes me feel foolish. Billy was an expert at that. He was wise and perceptive, scoffing, yet tender when you least expected it. He loved the babies and little ones, and took such good care of our parents in their last days. He was supremely intelligent, and long before the internet days of looking up info in just seconds, he was a go-to, as he read voraciously and retained everything he ever read. He loved to bless and give. He really did. Caramel cream candies...oh they remind us all of Billy.

But life goes on, and there are things to deal with here at home. Camille has been sick. I got home from working at the Dome the other night and found out she had been lying on the couch with a headache. Paul gave her Tylenol before he tucked her in. I didn't even wake her up yesterday for school, because asix year old who lies on the couch with a headache is coming down with something. I was right. She is sick.
Miss Camille is a snuggler on a good day, she gets sick and oh my she loves her mama.

Her fever spiked last evening....I am thankful for ibuprofen.

She is a bit better today, temperature down to 101, and watching silly shows on televison. I talked Charlotte Claire into going to school alone, which she so bravely did. Cam is sick, but still happy to be here:)

And, I had to add this happy picture, because there are still so many blessings in life.... Our children are our biggest blessings, but these two pups sure add to the love around here. They are just so sweet and good and friendly. Paul doesn't like his picture taken much, but I took it anyway.

I took a quick little trip to Walmart with Mirielle yesterday afternoon after the school kids got home. We needed a few things like grapefruit and bananas and yogurt and coffee, and some popsicles and fudge bars and creamsicles for the sick child. I also cruised the clearance section and got Jonathan some $3 pants, a really sweet $3 shirt for Charlotte Claire and some jeans, and some things for Mali for her birthday, which is in two days.

It is sunny today, and according to the weatherman, it will be warming up quite nicely: into the 20's. That IS a warm-up, comparatively, but oh my goodness it has been a long cold winter. Tomorrow it is forecast to climb out of freezing to 39 (3.8 c) degrees! 39 degrees and sunny!!!

Camille has asked for lemonade, so I will go make some from lemon juice and sugar and water....as bad as I feel for Camille, I don't mind taking care of her one little bit...I would rather be sick myself than see any of my kids suffer. But it's nice to be needed.

coldness!

One degree. (-17c) That's what it was when I sent my two little princesses out the door to the bus this morning. brr. The sun is trying to peek out now, but more snow is coming, just some light flurries, an inch or two or three.

And, I have to go to the Dome. The Dome...the college basketball venue in the city. Syracuse has lost their last three games, bringing them down from #1 in the nation to #7. Our church works at one of the concession stands there for all the home games, and this is the last one. phew. It isn't hard work, but it means leaving house and home and trekking out into the cold, up the steps and hill of the Dome, and standing on my feet for several hours, meaning my knees will ache extra tomorrow. But. It does also mean being with my friends, and as I usually run a register, getting to "meet" lots of people. I enjoy people. I think every movie star has a look-alike, and several of them go to the Dome. I like working with the church youth, too. They are much more fun than the older people:)

This morning I had to drive to town to pick up Mirielle from dropping her car off to have the oil changed. Yeah, it's cold out there. The new snow is still clean and sparkly, so it certainly is pretty. The fields and trees are covered, it looks like a Christmas card. The Great Lakes are more than 90% frozen over, which is monumental. It has been a cold harsh winter. I know I talk about it all the time, but...it is my little reality. Yesterday we had a second delivery of oil, it is the first winter since we have been in this house that we have had to have a second delivery, and we have been here 21 years. We have not burned any wood this year at all, since Paul was gone so much in the fall. Our old wood supplier stopped selling, and we haven't found another. Anyway. Spring cannot come fast enough for me.

And we get by. Jonathan and I picked the little girls up from school yesterday and went into town to pay the house insurance, then to the Dollar General to get a new fan for Kathryn (our family has a slight white noise addiction, the lady in the store thought I was cray cray for requesting a fan when it was like four degrees out). And Jon "needed" triple A batteries. That boy always needs batteries. Buy him a package of batteries, and he is in hog heaven, making all of his stuff come back to life. Yesterday, it was the walkie-talkies. He put one near Suri and had a blast talking to her, I should have videoed her, she was so puzzled. Anyway. I let them pick out some candy too, then we stopped into the grocery store for a few things, then home. I try to keep them busy when it's too cold to go outside.

The little girls are fun. The other night we played with Aqua sand, which doesn't get wet in water. We played Jenga, meaning we built houses out of the blocks. We made bracelets. Since we got an additional couch, we moved out one of the big tables from our living room, and moved the last desktop computer out, to Evelyn's room. There is much extra room for the girls to play over there, so they are going to set up "house" there when they get home from school. I told them they could move the couch across for a wall if they want to. I want to stay home from the Dome and play with them:)

Oh, my life! So interesting, huh?

Lately I have felt rather sad. Sam, winter, missing my mother, having my only grandchild so far away, my sister works and I never talk to her anymore, my sis-in-law is always driving her kids everywhere and can never go anywhere anymore...Paul is pretty busy too, and was sick last week...so I have felt rather lonely. Lonely in the midst of the noise and confusion. Whenever I start on the pity-party-path, lots of thoughts come along that fuel the Poor Me fire. I realized last night that those thoughts have to STOP. AS a man thinks, so he is. It is a waste of time, and no good comes of it. It is the wrong spirit to be in. To get back on the right path, the first step is to be thankful. When one is thankful for each and every thing, there is no room for anything else to thrive. Also, those thoughts come - I can't help that they come. But I CAN help how I react to them. God gives grace to overcome sin, I don't have to agree with every thought that comes into my head. It isn't what goes into a man which defiles him, but what comes out. Tried faith is worth more than gold.

Mirielle and I reasoned this out this morning: God created Samuel just the way He wanted him. God knew Sam had his one-track mind to be in the Army. Sam trusts God, prays, lives a good life...God will not forsake Sam. Sam is where he is supposed to be. Perhaps God will use him as a light there, in the Army. I know that those who trust in Him will not be put to shame. I know that. And Sam trusts in Him. So I still miss Sammers, as Mirielle always calls him, but I will work more to have peace about his decisions.

So...there are hopefully some trips coming up in my future. Besides being thankful for each and every thing that God lovingly sends my way, nothing cheers me up like going on a trip. I love the planning and the going, seeing new things....Emily and I might just take a little trip out to Washington state to see Ben and Ashley and my sweet little grand-baby, Anya. Then there is the trip to Georgia when Sam graduates from boot camp. Beyond that, I don't know. I did find some real deals on trips to the Dominican...for under $800, five days, all-inclusive, including airfare from central New York. Oh the sand and sun. Anyway.:)

A girl can dream.

And, a girl can get off of her lazy one and get busy around the house.....

come talk me in....!

Shh, don't tell Camille that it's, "tuck", not, "talk". She likes to be talked in. I don't like to correct their little mis-speaks,oh the cuteness and the littleness. The days go by, and up they grow. No more foot-y pajamas, or sippy cups. No more stepstool in the bathroom, they can reach now. Even Camille can read by herself, although she still likes to be read to. My babies are not babies anymore.

Okay, sometimes you can go to the thrift store and come out with maybe a couple of books and dusty fingers, but other days...oh joy! Yesterday was one of those bonus days. Miss Camille found a beautiful jewelry box with little glass doors and spinn-y things for all the necklaces she hopes to collect. She found a little polka dotted clip board for playing school and restaurant. She got some Barbie books, and a Juney B. Jones book. (Miss Char was out and about with Mirielle, and was pretty thrilled at the new treasures too, obviously they will share)

Anyway, I found: a new couch! A leather couch! I am not a big fan of the idea of buying used furniture, because of possible critters and just the not knowing....but. I saw this couch, and it looked so clean! Not a tear in it, not too saggy, just fine. Now, we didn't have room in our vehicle for a couch, and this place is way over in another county, but I decided to just go out on a limb and buy the couch. I had just been to the grocery store and had a huge long receipt with several coupons for $7 off any $25 or more purchase, so I redeemed one on my first order, which included a Little Tikes table and two chairs, our old chairs got cracked and broken and the girls used bins to sit on when they played school and office....anyway. I bought the couch for $41 including tax, using another coupon.

I had to go home and get the truck and and go all the way back and pick it up...it was dinner time when I got it home. Paul and Mirielle and Evelyn had made taco salad, and were just thrilled to have to go out into the cold evening to help carry in a couch. It is sitting in limbo now, waiting for me to decide how to fit it in. I would like to mount it on the wall over the other couch, to make a double decker, not really. The room isn't actually big enough, but we will fit it in, we need the places to sit.

Anyway. It is a pretty morning, snow is falling and it is quiet. The girls are really busy playing with their new treasures, and I have had one cup of coffee. Paul put a piece of beef in the crockpot, and is heading to town for some potatoes to go in with it.

We got a few letters from Sam,and each and every one of us who read them started to cry. I can't help feeling like we've thrown him to the wolves, and if you personally know Sam, you would understand. It does help me to know that he wouldn't have had it any other way. If I had talked to the recruiters and told them that Sam was "special", Sam would have never forgiven me. He is doing what he always wanted to do, and he will be fine. That is what I am telling myself. But I am also finding myself in tears when I least expect it.

Since we are heading to church this fine Sunday, I have much to do, so off I go, out of the comfy chair....